When do you stop paying for your child to go on vacation with you?

[Wall-E1]

I'll keep paying as long as my son still wants to vacation with me. It's family time and I value our time together. You can't put a price on that.

 

[DawnM]

I am 47. My parents just sent me some $$ for airfare to come see them and bring two of my children this summer.

I *can* pay for it and don't plan to cash the check, but my point is that you are never too old for your parents to pay for your vacation!

I know many grandparents who take their kids and grandkids to Disney and pay for the entire trip. I also know families who split the cost.

But if you want to pay and have the resources to, why not?

 

[lovin'fl]

I stopped vacationing with my parents when I was about 15 (my brother was 5 years older, so I think my parents jumped on the empty nest bandwagon early). My kids are 14 and 16 and still vacation with us, but likely it won't be for much longer (they gripe about it now). If I were to book a cruise after DS graduates from HS (2015), I wouldn't include him (and he would be very happy with that)...it would be just DH and I and maybe his sisters (who would be 16). If it's some big family trip with grands, cousins, aunt/uncles (it wouldn't be a cruise in my family as we are the only ones who really like cruising), we may pay for our 18-20 year old(s) to go (like pay for the room/resort and food) but they'd be paying for their own activities and whatnot.

 

[Colleen27]

And, honestly, if I had to pay for my grown childrens' (out of high school or college if they go) vacations in order for them to choose to spend that time with me, I'd rather not do that. It "feels" like a bribe to me to get them to spend time as a family. I'd settle for cookouts and smaller-scale get togethers

I don't think there's any "bribe" element involved - just a recognition that both time and money are more limited when you're just starting out in life. Some trips I want to take my kids on as young adults would likely be a real stretch for them to afford (or just plain unaffordable), and if I can take the "but it costs a month's pay!" out of the decisionmaking process for them I will.

My oldest will most likely be an adult before we start traveling overseas because of the age difference between him and the youngest (want to wait until the youngest can appreciate/remember the trips, they're 10.5 years apart), but in my opinion it wouldn't be right to leave him out of those trips because at 20-21 he likely won't be able to pay his own way. I want to share those things with all three kids, not exclude the oldest because of our choice to delay those trips.

 

[MagicalMawMaw]

We have 4 children of which 2 are now married. Until they got married we always paid the way on vacations. Now if they did vacation with us it'd be each pays their own way.

We have a son age 22 at college & a daughter age 27 who works full time & is still at home. We have always taken a summer vacation & we pay the way. Just glad they still enjoy vacationing with us. We also go to the coast atThanksgiving & we pay for that & enjoy them coming & us all being together.

However, during the year if my hubby & I go to WDW or on a weekend trip or wherever they are welcome to go Along if they pay their way. We can only budget one big family trip a year. As we have gotten older & our kids have grown up we enjoy traveling more than ever. With our children's work schedules they can't go everywhere we go & they prefer to travel so switch their own friends also at times.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Well, my DD did just that. As I said in my post, we had booked our vacation, she decided she wanted to come with us (I suspect she misses WDW, having not been for 4 years plus she really wants to see WWOHP). We told her we couldn't afford to cover all the costs and she offered to pay. She was prepared to pay it all but we came to a compromise as to what was fair. Now she hasn't used her "very last dollar" - the money she has used, she had saved up and I don't know whether she would have been prepared to pay had she not had savings - but that is a moot point. She IS choosing to come on a family vacation with Mum, Dad and little brother and she IS very much looking forward to it. And we are no way one of those families that has to do everything together, we just enjoy each other's company (and, after the 'terrible teen' years, I have to say that I began to wonder if there would ever be a time that we could all spend time together and not kill each other so I, for one, am very grateful for that). I am very much looking forward to it

Just curious....its a family vacation, you pay for your DS but not your DD. She didnt seem at all upset about it? I guess she is much older and works fulltime?

 

[TLC371]

I have three stepkids, and then my husband and I have a son together. The kids are 21, 19, 16 and 3. Before the 3 year old was born, we would rotate which of the older children would come with us on vacation. This was something my husband started before I met him, it was his (and now our) chance to spend time with each child individually. His mom has a timeshare in Kissimmee that we go to every year. We pay for our transportation down there, our food, park tickets, souvenirs only. Once the oldest 2 turned 18, it was their choice if they came with us or not. When we go, we always drive down there, so they are welcome to ride with us, and of course they have a free place to stay. Since we the timeshare, we buy groceries for the week, so we buy enough for them if they decide they want to come. However, they are responsible for purchasing their own park tickets, any meals beyond what we have at the timeshare, and whatever else they want to buy when we are down there. My stepdaughter (the 21 year old) hasn't gone to Florida with us since she turned 18, but she didn't like going with us the times it was her turn to go, so I wasn't expecting her to go with us anymore. The 19 year old just graduated high school last month, has no interest in getting a job, and is not going to college, so I am guessing he isn't going with us this year either. If he was going to college, or had a job, I would consider taking him and paying for him, but as long as he is not working towards anything for his future, I don't see the need to pay for him to have a vacation. The oldest also decided not to go to college and worked part time jobs, but was constantly changing jobs. She now works full time and still has no desire to do a family vacation with us.

So for now, the 16 year old and the 3 year old will go with us every year on vacation. Once the 16 year old turns 18, we will evaluate where he is. If he is in college and working part time, we will probably pay for him to go with us. He seems to have a big more motivation than the older 2. The same goes for the 3 year old, but that is so far in the future that I don't put much thought into what we will do when he is 18!

 

[Sparkly]

I'm paying for part of our February trip, but only a certain amount. Certainly not half of the cost, the whole thing's costing £2,600!

 

[wilma-bride]

Just curious....its a family vacation, you pay for your DS but not your DD. She didnt seem at all upset about it? I guess she is much older and works fulltime?

My DS is 10, my DD is nearly 21 and, as you correctly guessed, works full time. Have included my original post below so you can see that she volunteered to come on the holiday with us and that is why she is paying (some of) her own way.

My DD is 20 (almost 21) and works full time but still lives at home. She hasn't travelled with us since she was 18, having spent her vacations with her boyfriend and his family.

We had already booked this year's trip when she decided she would like to come with us. She has paid for her own flight and her park tickets, however we are taking a Disney cruise during the first week and we have paid for her to have her own SR on the cruise. We will also pay for meals, etc. while in Orlando.

She has very generously offered to pay for her and her little brother to swim with the dolphins in Grand Cayman - I am lucky to have such a wonderful daughter

I am paying for us both to go to WDW for a week next March, to celebrate her 21st. She won't pay for anything on that trip as it is her Birthday gift.

 

[MissManda]

Historically, the general rule of thumb in my family is that while the "kids" are in school (including college), vacations are paid for by the parents. Once out of school and working full-time, they are responsible for paying for their share of the trip.

Now, I've been lucky and in the past 5 years, I've only paid for 2 vacations. My grandmother has been very generous and has paid for a beach house rental for the whole family. Her philosphy is that she can't take the money with her when she goes and she would rather spend the money now and enjoy time with her family while she still can. (The rest of the family chips in for all the groceries for the week).

I have a co-worker who has two daughters (one married and one engaged). The engaged daughter actually makes more money that her parents combined (per my co-worker) and up until a year ago lived with them (rent free). She and her husband still pay for their summer beach vacation each year (including food). One year they even paid the airline ticket for the married daughter and her husband to fly in. Last year she came back and told me how much they spent on just food (6 adults eating out every meal beause they don't cook on vacation) and I just about fell out of my chair. I asked did her kids pitch in and pay for anything and she said no. Personally, I think that is a little bit overboard. Her kids can well afford to help pay for the vacation (at some of their meals). I think she is way to nice to her kids. I also think her kids are being selfish and taking advantage of the situation. But to each their own I guess. It seems to work for them.

 

[goofyintoronto]

My DS is 10, my DD is nearly 21 and, as you correctly guessed, works full time. Have included my original post below so you can see that she volunteered to come on the holiday with us and that is why she is paying (some of) her own way.

Sorry! I didnt read that far back. My mistake. Makes sense now.

Wow, swimming with the dolphins. Very nice of her to do that! That aint cheap!

A disney trip for her bday, what a wonderful gift. Have fun!

 

[emma'smom]

I guess 41/45 for my family...sort of. My parents own a summer cottage that my brother's family and my family go to every summer. To that end, my parents own it-- so we pay nothing right now (eventually it will be passed on to us and we will share in all of the upkeep expenses). I try to pitch in with groceries here and there....and I did buy the washer and dryer for them when they remodeled a few years ago and my brother will often take care of a project or two when he is visiting (sometimes very upscale "arts and crafts movement" projects like re-stoning the fireplace, etc) as he is particularly talented with these kinds of things.

For other vacations, however, every family pays for themselves and sometimes my brother and I pay for my parents (and my DH/I have taken my parents on trips before as well). My family owns DVC, so we are able to offer up points sometimes and my brother works for an airline and provides stand-by airline tickets sometimes.