When do you stop paying for your child to go on vacation with you?

[eliza61]

Family vacations morph over time. When I was younger when I graduated from college we really did not take dedicated "family" vacations anymore. Every body was busy building their own lives. My parents did invite us to go on trips with them and when they invited they always paid for the room and transportation. My dad wanted to take a family cruise. so he paid for every ones cabin and airfare.
I just returned from a family trip to Europe. once again a Uncle wanted the entire family to go so he picked up the tab for the hotel and airfare for 8 people.

Now I'm not a person who says that an 18 year old is magically an adult. My 19 year old is a college student and a great kid but he is far from an adult and still does idiotic things so I'm definitely not in that camp.

Both my sons live at home, both are college students and they are still on my health insurance policy. I pay for some of their things others they foot.

Any upcoming family vacations in the near future I'll pick up the tab for the majority of it. Next year we're going (hopefully) to Yosemite and Disneyland and I certainly don't expect for them to pay for it. How would they? their college students with part time jobs (which they use to pay for college stuff).


As long as I can afford it and we enjoy spending time with each other, I have absolutely no issues with picking up the tab. That's what money is for, to enjoy life.

 

[goofyintoronto]

EXACTLY!!! I couldnt have said it any better.

As long as I can afford it and we enjoy spending time with each other, I have absolutely no issues with picking up the tab. That's what money is for, to enjoy life.

 

[ckay87]

I figure that when I make my sons pay for their own vacations, they will not choose to pay to spend them with us. I mean, we all like each other and everything, but I'm not stupid. When I tell my 20 year old that he has to pay for his vacations, he will say "fine with me, I'm going to Cancun with my girlfriend!"

 

[Janepod]

My father often treats us (me, siblings, significant others) to a lavish vacation - about a week a year. He is well off and often says he would rather we save our money for our children's education, etc.

Works for us.

 

[Hoodie]

We stopped having family vacations when I went off to college. We just were all in different areas. My breaks didn't coincide with my siblings breaks and my summers were to earn money for the next year. We went to Florida for one Easter break because we happened to overlap days off - my parents paid otherwise I would not have gone.

It varies by kid though. For me that ended when I got a "real" job because I could afford it. My brother was the same way. For my sister, I'm pretty sure they are still subsidizing her - and she's 37 (that's another thread entirely!)

In short, if it was important to them that the whole family go, then my parents offered to at least help out and still do. If not, then we're on our own.

 

[Pigeon]

I wouldn't expect my college aged kid to pay for vacations, but then again, I'll expect them to be working summer jobs, so it's unlikely they could go on vacation.

I hate going on extended family vacations. I wouldn't go with my ILs or my parents. I certainly wouldn't pay good money to do that.

If I wanted my adult kids to go on vacation with us, I'd understand if they didn't want to, but I would pay for it if they did.

 

[PatsMom]

My daughter is 22 and going into grad school this fall. When she goes on vacation with us, we pay. She works but only part time and doesn't even make enough to cover her expenses. Her student loans have to help. And taking out more student loans doesn't make sense since we are going to end up paying off the student loans!

She does not go with us everytime we go on vacation. The Disney trip this spring was her graduation present. We are going to Food & Wine this fall without her since it would conflict with her class schedule. When she graduated from high school was when we started going without her on some trips. That was a shock to her - that Mom and Dad could go anywhere without her!

 

[powellrj]

Once my kids graduated they pretty much had their own lives and really didn't have the time to travel with us. Now that oldest DS is married they will go with us and we pay for lodging and some meals but they pay for everything else. We pay as long as we can afford it.

 

[ilovejack02]

As long as I can afford too and I want him to travel with ds24 to go . We have been on several trips this year , did not invite him. I already have two trips in mind for next year , Universal and Costa Rica or Belize .. I want him to go with us, so I will be footing most of the bill.

 

[Pakey]

As long as I can afford it and we enjoy spending time with each other, I have absolutely no issues with picking up the tab. That's what money is for, to enjoy life.

This is me. Sons are in thier 30s, married and have children. Every other year we vacation together as a family. We've done Disneyworld, cruise, Hawaii, Mexico. We do not all live in the same city and it's a treat to get together and spend that time as a family. I have no problems paying for this. I see it as a gift to myself.

ETA: I go on several vacations without the kids. It's just the every other year family vacation where I foot the bill.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

My siblings and I are all adults in our 20s/30s with partners and our parents/aunts/uncles still pay for our family vacations.

 

[Rowanonfire]

On the other side of the equation, I'm 19, and am expected to pay for my own vacation, at least this time. Because I have the money, and we're going to Disney, and my parents can't afford to pay for all of us there. It's an expensive trip. But if I had no money, I'm sure my parents would pay for a reasonably priced trip, even if I wasn't going away with them.

Well, technically, my parents are paying for the vacation. Flights and hotel...I'm paying for all our groups parks tickets...But that's over £2000 which is more then I'd pay for the hotel etc anyway.

 

[ols386]

Most kids graduating from high school, working at a grocery store (or some such similar place of employment), going to college in the fall, aren't going to have the money to pay for a cruise.

As a parent of a kid like this, I would indeed pay for the cruise, if I wanted the kid to go. He/she would be expected to take their own spending money for souvenirs and things like that though.

 

[PatsGirl]

Wow. Once again I'm up for the POY (Parent of the Year) Award From the time my kids were early teens, they were expected to save ALL their own spending $$ for vacations. From these funds they paid for everything except meals, lodging, park tickets, transportation.

Last year when DD was 15 she paid her portion of a cruise we took (she, her friend and myself split 3 ways) but mostly because she asked if I would take her and her friend on this cruise - it was their idea and planning

We just got back from a five-night camping trip to Maine and she brought a friend. They are 16 now and both were expected to have their own spending money, including chipping in on tube rentals and paying for their own ice cream cones, etc. I paid for the cabin, transportation costs, meals and my husband who came up for a few days with his DS24 paid to rent a boat for a couple of days and stocked the fridge with beer. I was miffed that his son came with NO $$ and expected us to pay for everything for him (including the gas in my car that I've let him borrow for the trip).

In October the entire family is going to Universal for five nights for HHN. When we proposed the vacation we made it clear that each of them (except DD16) had to pay for their own park tickets and meals. We bought the airline tickets, five nights lodging, and transporation to/from both airports. We also agreed to stock the fridge in the condo with breakfast, snack stuff and beverages. In essence, it will cost each of them $400 plus souvenier $$ if they chose to buy them. DD16 will just need some spare cash for other snacks or souvies in the parks. I thought this was quite generous until I read this thread LOL.

FWIW, my parents stopped paying for anything once we graduated from high school and I guess essentially this is what I am doing...although, if the kid(s) were still in college I'd definately be more apt to kick in for vacations then as well. I fully expect DD16 to attend college full time straight from high school and we will continue to financially support her for those years. DS23 went into the military out of high school and makes more $$ than I do right now lol so I expect him to pay his own way for most things. DSS24 works full time and chose not to go to college and DSD23 barely holds down a job so I continue to fight that she gets ZERO from us until she proves herself to work as hard as we do and becomes a contributing member of society

 

[maslex]

OP here. Thanks for your replies.

I agree with most everyone on this subject. My boys are 16 & 17 and I will pay for them to go on our vacations for as long as I can (at least while they still live at home) I cannot for the life of me, see myself telling my child that they need to pay to come with us.

I was just totally taken by surprise when I heard him say this. He then said, "hey, you're out of school now. You pay for your gas, your car ins, etc now you can pay your own way on vacation". I'm all for my child paying for his own car, gas, ins, etc (I feel it prepares them for the real world and shows responsibility) but to pay so you can go on a family vacation at that age??? I don't know.....there have been things they they have done/said that just has me going

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Once I got a good job after college, I started paying for some (not all) of my mom and sisters trips to Disney since I was doing much better financially than either of them and wanted to go on a trip with them.

 

[mmorano88]

My parents paid for me up until my honeymoon lol. Even then I still got to use their timeshare

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Wow. Once again I'm up for the POY (Parent of the Year) Award From the time my kids were early teens, they were expected to save ALL their own spending $$ for vacations. From these funds they paid for everything except meals, lodging, park tickets, transportation.

Wow, I definitely feel sorry for your kids.

 

[design_mom]

Wow. Once again I'm up for the POY (Parent of the Year) Award From the time my kids were early teens, they were expected to save ALL their own spending $$ for vacations. From these funds they paid for everything except meals, lodging, park tickets, transportation.

What's left to pay for besides souvenirs? It seems like you've covered the main items and it sounds totally fair to me.

My family paid for my sister and I until we graduated from college/got married. Both of us got married shortly after we graduated, and were considered adults with a separate household (thus paying our own way) from that point. I am not sure what the arrangements would have been if one of us had stayed unmarried for a significant amount of time after graduation.

My kids are still youngish (12 and 9), but I can't imagine telling them "pay your way or stay home" if it's a family trip... at least not until they're really on their own.

 

[ols386]

Wow. Once again I'm up for the POY (Parent of the Year) Award From the time my kids were early teens, they were expected to save ALL their own spending $$ for vacations. From these funds they paid for everything except meals, lodging, park tickets, transportation.

After you paying for their meals, lodging, park tickets, and transportation, there isn't much left to pay for, is there? Other than souvenirs and that sort of thing.