When child support ends....

[lacrosse_lady72]

Wow, that is expensive for for a Community College. My daughter just transfered from a State University to the local community college. Full time student fees are $406 a semester, $812 a year. A lot less than the $3,200 the State University cost per year, and a whole lot less than the $32,000 a year my son's private college charges.

I would be so happy if it was that cheap at PCC. It's roughly $85 per credit (including fees).

 

[tvguy]

My daughter's community college bill for the upcoming semester is $1450. That doesn't include books or her parking permit. I guess each state varies widely.

That would never fly here. Of course, Community colleges before the recession, 5 years ago, were $50 a semester, so the jump to $406 has been met with outrage and protests.

 

[smb6]

No...because after the age of 18 no parent is required to house and feed their child. The law says they are an adult, so the law says "You're on your own".

We as parents CHOOSE to allow our children to remain at home and either attend school/work and build up savings to be able to get out on their own...but there's no law that says we are responsible for their living expenses.

I get what you are saying; but if that same parent were still part of the couple/marriagle they would be helping with those expenses.

My point is that *most* parents try to provide the MOST they can for their children. Some can afford to put their kids through college, some can not- but either way they provide the MOST help they can to their child.
All of a suddent that same couple gets divorced and the non primary parent only wants to provide the MINIMUM required by law. I think it's crappy.

I don't doubt that there are people that take advantage of child support payments; but it is far and few in between. Most primary parents are still paying for the majority of a child's expenses even when applying the child support towards it. And as another poster mentioned; turning 18 does not usually mean that a child is suddenly financially independent over night.

As for people not being able to pay their houses without child support; obviously it should have been thought through better. BUT that does not necessarily mean they were taking advantage of child support- having children at home - means you need a larger home (much larger if there are several kids) and once they are gone one can downgrade to a condo or something. And the same can be said for vehicles- I have to have a van for us to fit; if it were just me- I could get an economy car- cheaper to purchase and cheaper on gas!

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

That would never fly here. Of course, Community colleges before the recession, 5 years ago, were $50 a semester, so the jump to $406 has been met with outrage and protests.

$50 per semester! I would be soooooo ecstatic if that was the case here. 16 credits for me cost almost $1400 for summer and there were about $500 in textbook costs. Next term is about $1150 for 13 credits and $300 in textbooks.

 

[Nicolepa]

I do expect my son to get a job, but it may not be until after high school. He has ADD and other learning disabilities, so he needs to concentrate on school. He can't even get his license until January. Besides, adults cannot even find jobs these days; I can imagine how hard it is for a 16 year old.

DS will be starting out at community college and will live at home, unless he can pay for his own lodging. I am thinking more about food, gas, books, tuition, clothes, etc. I remember having a part time job, and I could never have afforded that stuff without my parents. I don't foresee any scholarships, as his grades are not that good and he is not into sports at all.

There is no reason that he could not get a full time job in the summers and use that money thruout the year for expenses. I started working at 15. I would work part time in the summer (up to 25 hours a week) and full time (or more) in the summers. I had about 10K in loans after college. My parents paid for car insurance (until my Sr. year in college) and "most" of my tuition but not books, room board etc. I paid for all my food, housing, clothing, etc. I went to a community college for 2 years and then transferred for the last 2 years.

 

[ctinct]

Marsha,

I so understand your position because we are gearing up for our own lifestyle changes in less than two years. It doesn't sound like you have a ton of extra in your budget, but what I'm trying to do is pay as much as I can towards things NOW to make it easier later. Is there any possibility you can refinance your mortgage to a lower rate? And this would stink because it would ultimately cost more in interest, but could you extend the term of your mortgage to get smaller payments? In other words, if you have 15 years left, refinance for thirty years at a lower rate. You could always double up on payments if things ease up after your son is out on his own and you have gotten your raises. I may drop my landline and tv when my dd leaves for college. Of course, that may not be practical for you since your son will be living at home for a few years, but I don't think I would miss the tv. Do you shop at thrift stores? It takes time to comb through the racks, but I have found some real gems. (Land's End sweater $75 in catalog---I got it for $5.) Around here there are bread thrift stores, too, because we have a distributor in town. Maybe you have something similar. Can't think of anything else much right now other than stocking up when things are on sale, but I bet you already do that. Maybe as your son gets a little older you can look for a job that pays more than your babysitting job. (I also plan to get a second job, partly for the money and partly to alleviate the loneliness I know I'll feel. )

Someone suggested maybe looking at private schools. There is one BIG problem with many of these. A huge number of them expect the non-custodial parent to provide their financial info and support, regardless of what the law says. My dd is having difficulty because we have no contact with her dad, although he does pay child support. We can ask for a waiver, but it's not guaranteed. When your son is ready to transfer from cc, he may have to look at FAFSA only schools. Luckily, my dd has found at least one she adores--I just hope they give us enough aid to afford it. In case they don't , I have already told her our state school is where she may end up. Just something you might want to think ahead about.

And believe it or not, you will be able to get through this. I know, because several years ago before I got the job I now hold, I made half of what I do now, and we survived. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun, but when my daughter asked how come we never had any money, I would say to her "You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your tummy, and someone who loves you very much. You are so much luckier than so many people." Good luck! If you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, just pm me.

 

[torinsmom]

Marsha,

I so understand your position because we are gearing up for our own lifestyle changes in less than two years. It doesn't sound like you have a ton of extra in your budget, but what I'm trying to do is pay as much as I can towards things NOW to make it easier later. Is there any possibility you can refinance your mortgage to a lower rate? And this would stink because it would ultimately cost more in interest, but could you extend the term of your mortgage to get smaller payments? In other words, if you have 15 years left, refinance for thirty years at a lower rate. You could always double up on payments if things ease up after your son is out on his own and you have gotten your raises. I may drop my landline and tv when my dd leaves for college. Of course, that may not be practical for you since your son will be living at home for a few years, but I don't think I would miss the tv. Do you shop at thrift stores? It takes time to comb through the racks, but I have found some real gems. (Land's End sweater $75 in catalog---I got it for $5.) Around here there are bread thrift stores, too, because we have a distributor in town. Maybe you have something similar. Can't think of anything else much right now other than stocking up when things are on sale, but I bet you already do that. Maybe as your son gets a little older you can look for a job that pays more than your babysitting job. (I also plan to get a second job, partly for the money and partly to alleviate the loneliness I know I'll feel. )

Someone suggested maybe looking at private schools. There is one BIG problem with many of these. A huge number of them expect the non-custodial parent to provide their financial info and support, regardless of what the law says. My dd is having difficulty because we have no contact with her dad, although he does pay child support. We can ask for a waiver, but it's not guaranteed. When your son is ready to transfer from cc, he may have to look at FAFSA only schools. Luckily, my dd has found at least one she adores--I just hope they give us enough aid to afford it. In case they don't , I have already told her our state school is where she may end up. Just something you might want to think ahead about.

And believe it or not, you will be able to get through this. I know, because several years ago before I got the job I now hold, I made half of what I do now, and we survived. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun, but when my daughter asked how come we never had any money, I would say to her "You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your tummy, and someone who loves you very much. You are so much luckier than so many people." Good luck! If you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, just pm me.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have an ARM right now, and it is at 4.75% for another 3 years. At that point, I hope to refinance to a fixed rate. My credit score is not great, because I need to pay down some debt(no late payments, just debt to credit ratio issues)

We don't have a landline at all. I am looking at changing carriers for our cell phone service when our plan ends in August. We are paying $115 for 2 lines and don't have great service lately. That might save $20 or so a month. I could do without my cable, but I might go crazy, LOL--that is kind of my entertainment vice.

I do shop at thrift shops for most of my clothes and have for years. For DS, I am lucky; his favorite jeans are Wrangler cargo jeans and they are only $17. Now, shoes for him are a different story--he wears a 14! I try to shop at outlets for the shoes, because it is hard to find 14's when regular stores have sales.

I doubt I could find a second job that pays more than my babysitting job. Easy job, one child from 4:15-6:15 and I get paid $15/hour. So, $150 week(not reported to IRS) on top of my teacher pay. Then I also lead children's church, which is another $250/month for about 10 hours/month work. I am hoping with the MAsters and National Board Certification, that will make the difference.

I don't know what colleges we will look at. DS says he wants to do computer and/or video game programming. We will have to talk to the guidance counselors when the year gets started. I would like too take him for a tour somewhere, so they can talk to him about the importance of good grades in getting accepted. I think he can do better than he is at school, but he needs to be motivated vs. me nagging him to get it done, KWIM?

Thanks so much for everyone's suggestions. I will get it done somehow, someway.

Marsha

 

[golfgal]

How far away are you willing to send him for school?

 

[kathyk2]

You mentioned that your son has an IEP. I would look into the services that your state's vocational rehabilitation provides. They may be able to provide assistance with tuition and books. Also they may be able to help your son find a job next summer.

 

[torinsmom]

How far away are you willing to send him for school?

Well, it depends on how far he wants to go away. Right now, he says he wants to stay in this area(central NC) I don't think I would want to send him to Minnesota though, LOL. I am doing an online masters through St Catherines University in St Paul and had to go to an orientation in February. All I can say is BRRRRRR,

You mentioned that your son has an IEP. I would look into the services that your state's vocational rehabilitation provides. They may be able to provide assistance with tuition and books. Also they may be able to help your son find a job next summer.

That was mentioned last year by his IEP person; he said it would be talked about this year, Junior year. That program sounds like something for prisoners getting out of jail, but they said it is just for IEP kids. I know he has to be tested again, and I don't know if the qualifications are different. DS has a high IQ at 121; his problem is that he scores in the 80's in math(100 is average IQ), has ADD and dysgraphia(a writing disability). He also has listening comprehension and working memory problems. If they go by IQ alone, he won't make it, but he has the 15+ point discrepancy in several areas. I guess we will see come fall.

Marsha