When child support ends....

[lacrosse_lady72]

Are you owed more though? My dad didn't pay my mom a lot when I was growing up so he got backed up in payments. He eventually had to pay her around $40,000 when I was in high school with all of the backed up payments (and this was during a summer my mom was on sabbatical, so we took A LOT of trips).

But I'm 23 and he's still making the last of the payments I'm guessing it's different state to state, this is California/Oregon but if he still owes, then you should still get payments even after your child turns 18.

 

[torinsmom]

We are in a small town, so very limited public transportation. Unfortunately, it is not small enough to get many places on a bike either. He will need a car eventually, unless I quit my babysitting job. Otherwise he won't be able to get to a job after school as quickly as employers want. Our high school goes until 3:45, so there is already a time crunch. Once he gets his license, insurance will go up if I put him on as a driver. We will probably get a cheapo car with liability. My dad is an insurance agent, so he can help me with figuring the expense before we get a car.

DS has done some dog sitting in the neighoborhood and has mowed some lawns, but nothing regular. We have so many teenagers in our neighborhood that there is some competition. I am not sure how much summer work there is in our town, as far as fast food etc. He was not old enough this summer, so we will look into that next spring.

As I said, we don't splurge on anything. We have one fast food meal a week, we use coupons, maybe once a month matinee movie. We are frugal all year in order to do our yearly trips. I can't imagine working hard all year and not having a trip to look forward to, whether it be the beach or Disney. We may do a shorter trip or not do hoppers or something like that, but we won't cut it out completely. As long as my DS is happy to go on vacation with his old mom, we will keep going, LOL.

If it gets to the point that we need to give up our vacation or him not go to college, the vacation will go of course. I don't think it will come to that; just trying to find out what others have done to bridge that gap.

Marsha

 

[eliza61]

This is surprising, considering that parents that are STILL married are in no way required to pay for college.

There is no law that says a parent must pay for college. I find it hard to believe that unless something very specific was written into the decree that a parent can be forced to contribute.

edit: I take it back...I just googled something and found some info on the Illinois law. Crazy if you ask me...if I were divorced I'd probably fight it, since as I said there is no law anywhere that requires a parent to pay for college. Maybe a moral obligation, but not a legal one. Discriminatory against divorced parents, if you ask me.

In NJ a parent can take her ex to court to ask for college tuition. My brother is in this predicament. His ex took him to court to continue child support until my niece graduated. Fortuantely he is on halfway decent terms with his ex so they were able to sit down and talk tuition for my niece and it didn't get nasty. Unfortunately his 2nd wife is pitching a fit (which is why the ex wanted to make it legally binding with a court order) saying not enough money in new household.

I'm soo not a lawyer so this is not legal fact, only the complaints of a disgruntled brother. LOL

 

[msmayor]

In NJ a parent can take her ex to court to ask for college tuition. My brother is in this predicament. His ex took him to court to continue child support until my niece graduated. Fortuantely he is on halfway decent terms with his ex so they were able to sit down and talk tuition for my niece and it didn't get nasty. Unfortunately his 2nd wife is pitching a fit (which is why the ex wanted to make it legally binding with a court order) saying not enough money in new household.

I'm soo not a lawyer so this is not legal fact, only the complaints of a disgruntled brother. LOL

Anyone can ask for it in any state...and if its written into the decree that's one thing. But apparently, its actually the LAW in Illinois.

What I read indicated that the parent must provide based on what their 'means' allow, so there must be some formula. I'm sure they can't force a parent to fork over $20,000 towards college if they don't have it. I just thought it unusual that they legally require a contribution.

My husband and I can absolutely refuse to give our daughter one penny towards college, and there's no law in NJ to force us to do otherwise.

 

[aprilgail2]

I think the one thing I would consider doing NOW is getting that child support increased. That seems like a fraction of what child support is for most people I know who are paying or receiving it.

I agree! I don't know anyone paying under 1,000 a month!!

Check with an attorney, in my state (IL) divorced parents are both required to help with college expenses.

This is surprising, considering that parents that are STILL married are in no way required to pay for college.

.

My friends who are divorced are paying child support until either 21 or 23 (depending on what they agreed on) plus the guys are required to pay 75 percent of the college costs and the moms 25 percent. I was amazed when I heard them all talking too- married couples are not required to pay for college but if the parents are divorced they can have to pay! One of my good friends paid for college, the kid dropped out then wanted to go to another college, he said no he was not paying...the courts said otherwise!!

 

[minkydog]

OP, I sympathize with you. It's going to be hard, but not impossible. My mother never got the first dime of child support. 5 kids.My dad walked away and never looked back. I and my sisters had to work hard, take out loans, apply for grants and take any scholarship we could find. Band scholarships paid a decent portion of my way through nursing school. So it *can* be done. There are unfortunately a lot of women in your same shoes

 

[rigs32]

I am thinking more about food, gas, books, tuition, clothes, etc. I remember having a part time job, and I could never have afforded that stuff without my parents.

That's the stuff that student loans are designed to cover - tuition AND expenses. I understand that you might not want him to be burdened with loans, but the federal loans now have income based pay rates and if you are a public servant, any remaining balance is forgiven after 10 years.

 

[torinsmom]

I agree! I don't know anyone paying under 1,000 a month!!

Ex just started paying CS for his baby girl and that mom only gets $500 for her. You get more for a baby, because of the extra costs, like daycare. DS was 4 when we got the order and I got free tuition for him because I worked at his school. He does pay for DS's health insurance, so that is probably another $100 or so.

Some states take a straight percentage of a father's pay, but NC uses a formula that has a set amount it should take to raise a child at each combined income. Then they look at what percent of that combined income each parent provides and they are expected to provide that amount each month.

That's the stuff that student loans are designed to cover - tuition AND expenses. I understand that you might not want him to be burdened with loans, but the federal loans now have income based pay rates and if you are a public servant, any remaining balance is forgiven after 10 years.

Ugh, I have student loans myself from going back to school--teaching degree and now Masters. I would hate for him to have that burden. If he has to get loans for a first degree, I will pay them back. My parents paid off loans from my first degree. I didn't have that many because I got Pell Grants. Maybe DS will qualify for some of those.

Marsha

 

[ilovejack02]

This is surprising, considering that parents that are STILL married are in no way required to pay for college.

There is no law that says a parent must pay for college. I find it hard to believe that unless something very specific was written into the decree that a parent can be forced to contribute.

edit: I take it back...I just googled something and found some info on the Illinois law. Crazy if you ask me...if I were divorced I'd probably fight it, since as I said there is no law anywhere that requires a parent to pay for college. Maybe a moral obligation, but not a legal one. Discriminatory against divorced parents, if you ask me.

State of Louisiana child support ends at 18 if child does not go onto higher ed, if child continues on to community college or vo tech , support continues until schooling ends. a 4 year university does not count. GO FiGURE??! Support does not increase just continues. It is not a requirement to pay for college and I bet that is the Illinois law also.

OP you may want to confirm your state laws again and you never know what can change in a cpl of years.

 

[torinsmom]

Here's the NC law....

Absent an exception, child support terminates in North Carolina when a child reaches the age of eighteen. The two most important exceptions to this rule, for all orders entered on or after October 1, 1993, are that: 1) when a child is otherwise emancipated prior to age 18, payments terminate at that time, and 2) “f the child is still in primary or secondary school when the child reaches 18, support payments shall continue until the child graduates, otherwise ceases to attend school on a regular basis, fails to make satisfactory academic progress towards graduation, or reaches age 20, whichever comes first, unless the court in its discretion orders that payments cease at age 18 or prior to high school graduation.” The other statutory exception to the rule against post-minority support applies to a child who is incapable of self-support. For such a child, the obligation of child support continues until the child is no longer physically or mentally incapable of supporting him- or herself.

 

[lacrosse_lady72]

I agree! I don't know anyone paying under 1,000 a month!!

Ex just started paying CS for his baby girl and that mom only gets $500 for her. You get more for a baby, because of the extra costs, like daycare. DS was 4 when we got the order and I got free tuition for him because I worked at his school. He does pay for DS's health insurance, so that is probably another $100 or so.

Some states take a straight percentage of a father's pay, but NC uses a formula that has a set amount it should take to raise a child at each combined income. Then they look at what percent of that combined income each parent provides and they are expected to provide that amount each month.




Ugh, I have student loans myself from going back to school--teaching degree and now Masters. I would hate for him to have that burden. If he has to get loans for a first degree, I will pay them back. My parents paid off loans from my first degree. I didn't have that many because I got Pell Grants. Maybe DS will qualify for some of those.

Marsha

I'm sorry about all this Marsha. I can totally relate as the student.

I think one thing he really should do is try to get a job... a part time job only. One that he can work 2-3 days a week. Preferably one that he can work all day on Sat and Sun (lots of hours but doesn't take up too much study time) that's what I do.

Community college though, isn't too much. It still costs of course but it's not too bad. Each 4 credit (quarter) class at Portland CC is approximately $350. At least where I go, they really can do a lot to accommodate students financially, maybe you should head out to his college and speak to the financial aid office and see what kind of options you have... just to give you an idea for the future. I work and I don't want to start my debt early in school so I pay as I go. They have a system where I pay for half of the term the Friday of the second week of the term and the other half the Friday of the sixth week.

Also, there are a ton of websites for textbooks, for both you and your child to check out to get used books of a fraction of the cost. But for me, that doesn't work out well (nursing student, so I keep nearly all of my books) but it really helped for writing, math and French classes.

Once he's ready for the junior and senior years of college, then you should really look into a loan. Going in OSHU in the fall is going to cost me over $30,000 each year. While that is a lot, I'm not going to have to worry about previous loans which I love.

 

[tvguy]

Community college though, isn't too much. It still costs of course but it's not too bad. Each 4 credit (quarter) class at Portland CC is approximately $350. .

Wow, that is expensive for for a Community College. My daughter just transfered from a State University to the local community college. Full time student fees are $406 a semester, $812 a year. A lot less than the $3,200 the State University cost per year, and a whole lot less than the $32,000 a year my son's private college charges.

 

[tonilea]

I know you will be losing the $225 per month, but have you thought about your new tax burden? I don't know the answers.... will you lose head of household status? You may have to file your taxes as single - no dependants.

 

[smb6]

This is surprising, considering that parents that are STILL married are in no way required to pay for college.

There is no law that says a parent must pay for college. I find it hard to believe that unless something very specific was written into the decree that a parent can be forced to contribute.

edit: I take it back...I just googled something and found some info on the Illinois law. Crazy if you ask me...if I were divorced I'd probably fight it, since as I said there is no law anywhere that requires a parent to pay for college. Maybe a moral obligation, but not a legal one. Discriminatory against divorced parents, if you ask me.

I get your point; BUT what about the child that lives at home for a while after graduation or through college. The primary parent is still paying living expenses for that child and not recieving child support. That could be deemed discriminatory against the primary parent.

I think when a couple is together, they strive to provide the best for their child and that should not stop because they are divorced. I don't get why when divorced all of a sudden many parents are trying to provide the minimum instead of the max. JMO.

 

[minkydog]

You can still claim him as a dependant after age 18. You just can't get the child exemption. Even though he might be off at college, his home base is still at your home and you're still providing him most of his support. We've been doing it for years. DS23 moved out in April so he will be able to claim himself this year.

 

[PatsGirl]

Sounds like a tough road ahead. I didn't get much cs for DS so when it stopped I didn't miss it much but DD's father makes very good money and so his support is really helpful and allows me to provide her with all her necessities and with my income as well we are able to go on vacation and not scrimp like I did with DS during his young years.

I've watched several friends lose cs of $1200-1500/month and have to sell their houses because they could no longer afford their mortgage and other expenses. Because of this I attempt to always stay debt-free and while I don't save much, I double pay my mortgage, etc. so when the time comes, and its just around the corner, somehow I will manage to keep my household running.

It's posts like this that remind me just how lucky I am that DD's father does the right thing for her

 

[torinsmom]

I'm sorry about all this Marsha. I can totally relate as the student.

I think one thing he really should do is try to get a job... a part time job only. One that he can work 2-3 days a week. Preferably one that he can work all day on Sat and Sun (lots of hours but doesn't take up too much study time) that's what I do.

Community college though, isn't too much. It still costs of course but it's not too bad. Each 4 credit (quarter) class at Portland CC is approximately $350. At least where I go, they really can do a lot to accommodate students financially, maybe you should head out to his college and speak to the financial aid office and see what kind of options you have... just to give you an idea for the future. I work and I don't want to start my debt early in school so I pay as I go. They have a system where I pay for half of the term the Friday of the second week of the term and the other half the Friday of the sixth week.

Also, there are a ton of websites for textbooks, for both you and your child to check out to get used books of a fraction of the cost. But for me, that doesn't work out well (nursing student, so I keep nearly all of my books) but it really helped for writing, math and French classes.

Once he's ready for the junior and senior years of college, then you should really look into a loan. Going in OSHU in the fall is going to cost me over $30,000 each year. While that is a lot, I'm not going to have to worry about previous loans which I love.

Thanks for the info. I have checked out most of my books from the local university library(UNC). In the past, I have shared books and bought a previous edition. Luckily for us in state tuition at 4 year colleges is not too much in NC, as long as you are not staying on campus. DS will have to do well in community college if he wants to get into a 4 year college. He may end up staying at CC depending on his career path. I should also be debt free(except mortgage) by the time he gets into his second year of CC. That will help a lot. I just wish I had started earlier, so that would have corresponded with the end of CS/beginning of college.

I know you will be losing the $225 per month, but have you thought about your new tax burden? I don't know the answers.... will you lose head of household status? You may have to file your taxes as single - no dependants.

I think I could still count him as a dependent when he is in college. My mom and dad claimed me until I was out of college. If he is still living with me as a dependent, wouldn't I still be head of household?

Marsha

 

[msmayor]

I get your point; BUT what about the child that lives at home for a while after graduation or through college. The primary parent is still paying living expenses for that child and not recieving child support. That could be deemed discriminatory against the primary parent.

I think when a couple is together, they strive to provide the best for their child and that should not stop because they are divorced. I don't get why when divorced all of a sudden many parents are trying to provide the minimum instead of the max. JMO.

No...because after the age of 18 no parent is required to house and feed their child. The law says they are an adult, so the law says "You're on your own".

We as parents CHOOSE to allow our children to remain at home and either attend school/work and build up savings to be able to get out on their own...but there's no law that says we are responsible for their living expenses.

 

[golfgal]

I do expect my son to get a job, but it may not be until after high school. He has ADD and other learning disabilities, so he needs to concentrate on school. He can't even get his license until January. Besides, adults cannot even find jobs these days; I can imagine how hard it is for a 16 year old.

DS will be starting out at community college and will live at home, unless he can pay for his own lodging. I am thinking more about food, gas, books, tuition, clothes, etc. I remember having a part time job, and I could never have afforded that stuff without my parents. I don't foresee any scholarships, as his grades are not that good and he is not into sports at all.

His dad will not pay anything he isn't made to. Its sad, but its just a reality. He will probably be throwing a party the first month that money doesn't come out of his check. I guess the theory for ending CS at 18 is that both parents could just push the "adult" child out of the nest at that point. I just can't even imagine that!

I think you need to reconsider the CC route and look for a 4 year school where he can live in the dorms--reason being he will most likely qualify for a LOT of financial aid for school that will cover his school and living expenses. Find a smaller school so he won't need a car. If he has to have a few loans, so what. If he is going to a reasonably priced college his loans won't add up to all that much. If our DS maxes out his loans for 4 years he will have about $30,000 in loans-which is really not much different then buying a car and worth a whole lot more in the end. If you send him to CC, the need for aid won't be there because the cost of the school is low and he will be living at home so you will pick up all those extra expenses. I know the state schools in our state have a LOT of programs and assistance for kids with LD's.

As for getting a job, even if he worked 10 hours/week somewhere he could start saving money for school. That would not cut into his school time at all really. Yes, the job market is tight but there are still a lot of minimum wage jobs out there for teens. If nothing else, he can work in the summers between now and college. Unless you live in a very dangerous town, at 15/16 years old there is no reason he can't ride a bike, even if it is 10 miles away. He could look for a job working on the grounds crew at a golf course, a snack shack at a pool, etc.

I understand you wanting to help him but honestly, there is no reason he can't start earning some money on his own.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

After graduating high school I went to college part time and worked part time (I began working a part time retail job my junior year in hs). I paid for my college tuition (took out loans), all my books, food, clothes, transportation, movies, etc.. I went to school locally and lived with my mom. My dad had stopped paying child support while my sister and I were in hs due to financial difficulties. My mom agreed to let him out of the child support order, I worked part time to pay for clothes, going out with my friends, prom expenses, etc.. I liked working and didn't have a problem paying for own extras that had been paid for with the child support previously.

After graduating with my nursing degree, I paid my student loans off over the next eight years. I don't see the issue with kids working and taking out loans when need be. Not all parents can afford to pay for college and pay for living expenses during that time.