When child support ends....

[torinsmom]

I am trying to figure out what to do when child support ends in 2 years. Child support in my state ends when the child turns 18(unless there is a divorce decree stating otherwise), but we all know that supporting kids goes on longer than that, including college. My son's father didn't pay CS until he was made to do so and it is taken out of his paycheck, or it wouldn't be paid at all. I work three jobs already(teaching full time and babysitting and children's church part time) and I am also in school to get a Master's degree. I started the Master's Degree program with the end of CS in mind, but with the economy the way it is, the extra 10% will have to go to make up for rising prices on everything.

If anyone has been here, what did you do? We don't have much splurge to cut back on. We won't cut vacation, as we look forward to it all year. Besides, I am a penny pincher, so we do Disney for less than we could do the beach right in our own state. Any advice?

Oh, and child support is only $225 plus insurance.I guess I should be glad I am not "losing" more. I think I can get ex to keep DS on his insurance, since it's the same for one or ten children, and he has an 18 month old.

Marsha

 

[bumbershoot]

Well the nice thing is that your child can get a job while in college and help support himself. Scholarships, grants, even student loans if necessary.

If your son and his dad have a good relationship, they could talk about dad paying for part of college...tuition, or perhaps dorm, or food (a big one).

 

[wdwfan16]

I am trying to figure out what to do when child support ends in 2 years. Child support in my state ends when the child turns 18(unless there is a divorce decree stating otherwise), but we all know that supporting kids goes on longer than that, including college. My son's father didn't pay CS until he was made to do so and it is taken out of his paycheck, or it wouldn't be paid at all. I work three jobs already(teaching full time and babysitting and children's church part time) and I am also in school to get a Master's degree. I started the Master's Degree program with the end of CS in mind, but with the economy the way it is, the extra 10% will have to go to make up for rising prices on everything.

If anyone has been here, what did you do? We don't have much splurge to cut back on. We won't cut vacation, as we look forward to it all year. Besides, I am a penny pincher, so we do Disney for less than we could do the beach right in our own state. Any advice?

Oh, and child support is only $225 plus insurance.I guess I should be glad I am not "losing" more. I think I can get ex to keep DS on his insurance, since it's the same for one or ten children, and he has an 18 month old.

Marsha

Your son will have to get a part-time job before he turns 18 and work during high school and college.

 

[LindaR]

Well, my daughter got student loans. Her "father" has screwed her over her entire life.

She has never left herself in a position for him to either threaten, or simply take away any financial help he might (though refused to) give.

 

[luvmy3]

Is there a reason why your ds can't "support" himself when it happens? If you are losing $250 a month, a part time job should be able to cover that and maybe more. It doesn't sound like your ds's father was planning on contributing much to college anyway so maybe a scholarship or even student loan would work. I feel for you, my SIL is in the same position now, 2 of her kids no longer get support and the ex-dh doesn't help with any education or medical costs. The kids have to work through school and they do have student loans that will be their responsibilty after graduation. Her youngest is 17 so only one more year for him, he works now and will have to when he starts college as well. It really stinks when a parent who legally doesn't have to support their child, chooses not to help because they aren't legally obligated anymore. Its hard to see my SIL financially strapped because even though her kids are over 18, they still have expenses and she takes care of them because tthe ex won't. I wish you luck when the time comes

 

[torinsmom]

I do expect my son to get a job, but it may not be until after high school. He has ADD and other learning disabilities, so he needs to concentrate on school. He can't even get his license until January. Besides, adults cannot even find jobs these days; I can imagine how hard it is for a 16 year old.

DS will be starting out at community college and will live at home, unless he can pay for his own lodging. I am thinking more about food, gas, books, tuition, clothes, etc. I remember having a part time job, and I could never have afforded that stuff without my parents. I don't foresee any scholarships, as his grades are not that good and he is not into sports at all.

His dad will not pay anything he isn't made to. Its sad, but its just a reality. He will probably be throwing a party the first month that money doesn't come out of his check. I guess the theory for ending CS at 18 is that both parents could just push the "adult" child out of the nest at that point. I just can't even imagine that!

 

[tvguy]

I am trying to figure out what to do when child support ends in 2 years. Child support in my state ends when the child turns 18(unless there is a divorce decree stating otherwise), but we all know that supporting kids goes on longer than that, including college. My son's father didn't pay CS until he was made to do so and it is taken out of his paycheck, or it wouldn't be paid at all. I work three jobs already(teaching full time and babysitting and children's church part time) and I am also in school to get a Master's degree. I started the Master's Degree program with the end of CS in mind, but with the economy the way it is, the extra 10% will have to go to make up for rising prices on everything.

If anyone has been here, what did you do? We don't have much splurge to cut back on. We won't cut vacation, as we look forward to it all year. Besides, I am a penny pincher, so we do Disney for less than we could do the beach right in our own state. Any advice?

Oh, and child support is only $225 plus insurance.I guess I should be glad I am not "losing" more. I think I can get ex to keep DS on his insurance, since it's the same for one or ten children, and he has an 18 month old.

Marsha

I think the one thing I would consider doing NOW is getting that child support increased. That seems like a fraction of what child support is for most people I know who are paying or receiving it.

 

[riskysmom]

If your son has a disability you can take the father to court BEFORE the support is supposed to end and try to have the time extended based on need.

 

[teacher100]

You mentioned your son is going to community college. My son has ADD/Aspergers/tourettes. There is a wealth of services our community college offers that we have had to pay for in the past (counseling, tutoring, etc.) He was an honor student in high school so when his adviser was talking to him he said that if he made good grades he would actually be able to work in one of the learning labs. I understand what you mean about your child needing time to study. My son's full time job in high school was studying and homework.

 

[kinntj]

My friend Kathy has a 5 year old son and she doesn't get a lick of help. It looks like your now will be her future...kind of.

She had to go back to school and she works two jobs. Her bartending job at night goes towards his college degree. It sucks when a father or mother doesn't think that their kids are their responsibility and it's up to the other parent to take care of the whole thing.

I feel for you and even though I don't have any real answers for you, I wish you guys well. I'm sure everything will work out, you just might have to research a bit.

 

[WDWFAN9]

Check with an attorney, in my state (IL) divorced parents are both required to help with college expenses.

 

[AC7179]

If he is served by special education at school, as about DARS, as they can help with college costs and work on future employability.

 

[torinsmom]

I think the one thing I would consider doing NOW is getting that child support increased. That seems like a fraction of what child support is for most people I know who are paying or receiving it.

I have a feeling it would not be increased. In NC, they use a formula, not a certain percentage of a man's income. Since I first filed for CS, my income has increased by more than 100%(I was an assistant teacher and now I am an experienced lead teacher) and ex is still in the same job. I am sure he has had raises, but there is no way he makes more than me. It is also not worth the drama. You think teenage girls are drama, some grown folks(men and women) make them look like the calmest people in the world.

If your son has a disability you can take the father to court BEFORE the support is supposed to end and try to have the time extended based on need.

It's a learning disability, not anything that will make him dependent on us for a long period of time. It just takes more effort on his part to do well in school, and I don't think he could do both full time high school and a job. He will most likely start community college with 2-3 classes, so we can see how much he can handle and still do decent.

Thanks for the comments. I guess we will figure it out as we go along. I wish I had had money to start a college fund years ago, but many times, it is just paycheck to paycheck.

Marsha

 

[torinsmom]

If he is served by special education at school, as about DARS, as they can help with college costs and work on future employability.

What is DARS? His EC facilitator mentioned vocational rehabilitation, but they discuss that at the 11th grade IEP meeting(which will be in October)

MArsha

 

[bdoyledimou]

My mother got $32 a month in CS for 2 kids. We both got jobs at 16 and contributed to our own future.

In Ontario, CS ends when the child leaves the Education stream (meaning Collage). I will also be paying for 50% of their tuition (which is dumb due to the fact that if me and the kids mom were married neither of us would be compelled to pay for them).

 

[msmayor]

Check with an attorney, in my state (IL) divorced parents are both required to help with college expenses.

This is surprising, considering that parents that are STILL married are in no way required to pay for college.

There is no law that says a parent must pay for college. I find it hard to believe that unless something very specific was written into the decree that a parent can be forced to contribute.

edit: I take it back...I just googled something and found some info on the Illinois law. Crazy if you ask me...if I were divorced I'd probably fight it, since as I said there is no law anywhere that requires a parent to pay for college. Maybe a moral obligation, but not a legal one. Discriminatory against divorced parents, if you ask me.

 

[DrCavin]

This is surprising, considering that parents that are STILL married are in no way required to pay for college.

There is no law that says a parent must pay for college. I find it hard to believe that unless something very specific was written into the decree that a parent can be forced to contribute.

edit: I take it back...I just googled something and found some info on the Illinois law. Crazy if you ask me...if I were divorced I'd probably fight it, since as I said there is no law anywhere that requires a parent to pay for college. Maybe a moral obligation, but not a legal one. Discriminatory against divorced parents, if you ask me.

Illinois divorce law requires both parents to pay for their children’s undergraduate college education expenses based upon their resources and their abilities to pay. This Illinois law is separate and apart from the child support statute for children who are under the age of 18 or have not graduated from high school.

 

[Cooky]

.

 

[wdwmom2]

Well, considering the CS for my 2 DD's was $8.55 a week, no typo, I really didn't miss anything!!!! He also supplied health insurance, I supplied dental insurance. It was joint custody, a week here, a week with their dad. They soon ended up just staying here. Would have ended up that way anyway, he got a job that has him out of town Monday through Friday. Never took him back for more support, wanted to do it on my own, the best I could. And I did!!!!

 

[Traveliz]

If your son is going to be a high school junior this fall, then that means he should have 2 full summers before beginning college. Couldn't he work during the summers? If can't find a typical teen job at a store or restaurant maybe he could do things like yard work, dog walking, house cleaning or doing other chores or errands in your neighborhood.

He doesn't need a car if there is public transportation available. Besides the cost of the car itself and gasoline, there's also registration, insurance and maintenance. I went to community college for two years and I did not have a car. I had to transfer twice on the bus, making a total of three different buses to get there. Or is it close enough, within a few miles that he could ride a bike there? (On the insurance, you may want to check your with your car insurance company, because just by him getting a license and living in your household, your insurance may go up. You and he may want to hold off on getting the license.)

And please don't take this the wrong way, but if you truly feel you and your son will not have enough money for him to afford food let alone community college fees and books when he turns 18, you really should reconsider expenses like vacations to Disney. Even doing a budget trip, that is still money that could be saved for buying food and college expenses. Good luck.

Unfortunately (but I don't know the OPs situation) there are many many towns that have no public transportation.

Liz