What's wrong with people?

[POOH&PIGLET]

This has never happened at WDW but lately, people are touching my kids. For example, a few weeks ago, I'm returning bottles at the grocery store with DD-age 4 & DD-age 2. Some lady walks by and touches DD-2 on her face. I firmly said don't touch my daughter. She just kept on walking.

Since then, my wife had an argument (in the same grocery store no less) over a woman reaching into out then 1-month old DD's stroller to touch her.

Two days ago, the check-out girl at a different grocery store (Maybe we should avoid grocery stores.) reaches down & starts touching the baby. I bit my lip & left.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
Why do they think the can touch my kids?
Does this bother other people?

 

[GEM]

It happens to us all the time. People love to touch babies - even stranger's babies. Personally, I would never go up to some stranger and touch their child. However, I usually don't mind so much, unless they touch his hands. If they touch his hands, I ask them please not to touch his hands because he puts them in his mouth.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I once had a witress take my baby (3 months old) out of my hands. I was so amazed that I didn't repond! Haven't been back to a "Waffle House" since, though!

I don't know what people are thinking sometimes!

 

[CapeCodFam]

It happens to my ds2 all the time. Elderly people love to touch his face or his hair. I've even had an old lady kiss him on the cheek. I think its sweet though. I just think maybe they miss their own grandchildren. My oldest ds8, when he was little old men use to give him candy. Always asking me first though. They didn't see any thing wrong with it. Different generation. I don't help things though I absolutely adore old people. All in all idon't mind it all. Everyone loves babies.

 

[CapeCodFam]

It happens to my ds2 all the time. Elderly people love to touch his face or his hair. I've even had an old lady kiss him on the cheek. I think its sweet though. I just think maybe they miss their own grandchildren. My oldest ds8, when he was little old men use to give him candy. Always asking me first though. They didn't see any thing wrong with it. Different generation. I don't help things though I absolutely adore old people. All in all idon't mind it all. Everyone loves babies.

 

[BevS97]

It happens all the time, and I also hate it.

In this area, it is traditional to give a new baby money, so I have had total strangers give me a £1 coin for the baby - that I don't mind, but sometimes they want to put it in the baby's hand - we are talking very tiny newborn baby here - I really don't like that at all - money is really dirty and quite dangerous if swallowed, I am always annoyed when people do it, but I understand that it is something that the older generation here feel is appropriate, so I just bite my tongue and retrieve the coin asap.

Bev

 

[luvthatduke]

Oh boy, did you touch a nerve in me!

People touch & touch & touch,
and if you say something they get
very upset.
That being said, I DON'T CARE!
Like the other post said, it's the hands
that are the worst - because they go
right into the mouth.
Our son is allergic to antibiotics,
so we must try hard to protect him from infection.

I am nice but firm the first time
- and ALWAYS with a smile -
but you would not believe how
many people will go to touch
him again!

The worst are waitresses/ers...
(flame away if you must but I will
stick to what I'm saying, with my
apologies to those that don't fit
the following description)...
They're handling people's food & money
constantly, and I'm sorry but I don't
ever see them washing their hands
except maybe if I see them after
they've used the bathroom.

We actually had a waitress in a
restaurant who touched DS
and when I firmly but pleasantly
(with a smile) asked her not to,
she then comes back and picks up
his baby spoon and jar and starts
to feed him!!!!!!!


It was like a slow motion thing:
I saw her reach for it,
and thought she was taking DH's dishes.
DH & I then leap out of our seats
yelling, "STOP!! NO!! What is WRONG with you???"
She looked at US like we were from Mars!

And before I get lectured about people
from different cultures, we take it into
consideration because many cultures outside
the US have no qualms about strangers
touching/holding little ones.
But if they speak English
then they should obey our wishes...
And we've been places of course where
the waitress/er didn't speak English well
and she managed to understand our
body language, etc.
So to us there is NO excuse once we
tell someone to please not touch our DS.

DH's relative even went so far as to make
a sign that was placed on their DD's stroller
every time they left the house!
"DO NOT TOUCH THE BABY"

We can only do so much, like putting DS's
high-chair at the farthest point at the table,
but that is not always possible...

Well, there's my vent!
I'm really not as nasty as I sound in this post,
it's just frustrating that we are NICE and
even tell people our DS has health issues
and they still don't listen...
GRRRRRRRRRRRR! Mama Bear is always protecting!

 

[lucy_love_]

hi

when my dd9 was a young toddler (maybe about 2/3) i was getting on a bus with her (i live in the uk) and i had a buggy and i was paying. i was so shocked when an old lady took her by the hand and preceeded to lead her down the bus when i was paying. i went crazy. i said "do you mind. get off my child" or something like that lol. she let go straight away but i was fuming for ages. did this women just think i was going to let her walk down the bus with my baby. i was cross.

another incident when my dd5 was a baby and wasnt happy being in her buggy. i was pushing the buggy carrying dd5 and trying to keep an eye on dd9 (who always walked nicely beside me anyway). we were just walking down the street where we lived then and it was pretty quiet so i was managing well enough to get home. an old man asked me if i wanted him to carry dd5. i just said "what do you think".

im sure they thought they were being helpful but its like when your child is having a paddy in the street and your ignoring them and some stupid person starts to talk to them making the situation ten times worse plus you can no longer ignore the paddy cos some stranger is talking to them. dur.

anyway my rant is done.

as for touching my kids. do and i will have your fingers lol

love

lucy

 

[mrskay9]

I do have to remind myself NOT to touch other people's kids. But its hard. Those cheeks are just staring up at me and beg me to touch them and talk in baby talk!

BUT, I NEVER do it!

Not really because of the germ factor but because of the freak factor. These days its just freaky. period.

 

[zakatak]

I only touch babies that I know, never strangers' babies. That is just strange.

 

[MommyBoo!]

We went to our older kids' school preview (open house) last night. DD6mo was in her stroller sitting straight up checking everything out. Now, the first thing everybody says when they see her is, "Look at those cheeks!".

DH was going nuts last night. Everybody was trying to touch her. People who knew us and, more unnerving to DH, people who didn't. They would say, "Look at those cheeks! She's so cute!" and bend down to touch her and he would say "Thank you!" and swing the stroller out of the way. He was rushing us trying to get out of there.

I'm used to it from taking her out during the day while he is at work. When people start talking to her or about her, I will lean down and pat her head or stroke her cheek. That way they won't reach across me. She isn't always comfortable in large crowds so this helps her stay calm too.

I have let some elderly people pat her though if I felt right about it and she was smiling back at them. She really likes older people (she has four grandparents and two great grandparents who she sees a lot). I think the poster who said that they may miss their own grandchildren was right.

My mil was pushing her once and a nurse bent down and touched her hand! Mil was shocked because she thought a nurse would know better.

Some people just can't resist babies and apparently do not realize how freaky it can be to parents today. I always have wipes available to give her a quick wipe if need be.

 

[Jordan's MOM]

When my DS was little we too had a lot of concerns. He was very premature and germs were a very big deal. We tried to avoid taking him out a lot during flu seasons and when a lot of people seem to be sick. When we did take him out he seem to attact a LOT of attention. He was very tiny, and from about 7 months he wore tiny little glasses. He was very fussy and I had so many people offer to hold him for me to give me a break. Of course I would never allow this but I would also never be rude to someone who was just being kind and showing love for a child. I always thanked them for the gester but replied that he was really a mommy's boy (TRUE). I also tried to ward off touching by carring him in a front carrier if possible. People are less likely to invade your personal space. Also having the stroller facing me, with the sun cover up seemed to minimize the attration too. If someone started to touch, i would just mention that we had to be very careful with germs, and a lot of contact was not a good idea. I never had anyone touch any way or get annoyed. Sometime I would have children ask if they could "pat" my baby. Sometimes I would allow them to pat his foot, other times I would suggest they "throw" him a kiss. I alway put my child first, but tried to be kind to what was almost always a kind person.
I too LOVE babies. but I never touch one I don't know. I do often comment to the parent on what a cute baby and that makes everyone happy.

Jordan's mom

 

[montblanc]

I wouldn't do it but it almost never bothers me although I could see why very small children is an issue (hands in mouth). Most people are pretty genuine and don't mean any harm, but a polite person would probably refrain...

 

[summersfam4]

LOL, this thread strikes a nerve with me too. When DD#2 was 6 months I actually had a woman ask me if she could hold DD (and reached out for her) right after the woman had come out of a public bathroom stall and before she had even thought of washing her hands, after I explained that we were trying to be careful about germs she tried to touch DD's hands (DD#1 was using the other stall). I was ready to explode, and I moved away fast while still explaining. We had the same situation numerous times while she was a baby with people offering to hold her or touch her, I think that they just believe that they are doin me a favor, that having two is a handful, and I agree, but what so they think I do on an average day ? Luckily now she doesn't want anyone that she doesn't know to touch her, and she sure lets them know it if they try

Kelly

 

[llp479]

Try having twins! When my dds were babies everyone wanted to touch them. Not to mention the incredible personal questions they asked us! Did you use fertility drugs? Total strangers! One man even asked me if I nursed them!

I would never dream of touching another person's baby without permission. Especially a stranger's!

 

[swilshire]

There are a couple of things above that go way over the line, like taking a child by the hand to lead it off a bus, but most of the behavior is not a big deal in my part of the US. I have a red-headed son who has always been annoyed by people touching his hair. I've never allowed him to be rude about it.

I agree that taking a baby's hand, which will go straight into the mouth, would be a concern if the child has an especially fragile immune system or you know the person has been handling money.

Around here, you'd get some real strange looks if you put a sign on a stroller saying "don't touch the baby". Germs are a fact of life and reasonable exposure just helps children build immunity. I personally don't touch other people's children without permission, but I certainly wouldn't beat up an old lady that did.

MY pet peeve is service people who handle money, then handle my food plates. Particularly in buffets where they bring you extra clean ones, this can be a bit nasty.

Sheila

 

[Abra Cat]

We had to switch grocery stores because of a cashier who could not keep her hands off my kids! Anytime we would go in the store, she'd tell them to give her a big hug, which, being extremely loving children, they did. I guess we could have complained to the manager, but I'm not sure the cashier was "all there" and I didn't want to be hurtful. Besides, a new store opened up not much further away, so we started shopping there.

Another thing that drives me up the wall is people who will continue trying to "charm" your child when he's hiding behind you, clearly trying to stay away from them. My older son is 4 1/2 and still occasionally prone to shyness, so sometimes if a store clerk or whomever says hello to him, he'll hide behind me and mutter, "No, no, no" over and over. Which of course is the clerk's cue to get closer and start asking him questions! Yeah, that's helpful!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Yes it bugs me. Two things on this. When DD was around 2 I was loading groceries into my minivan. She was right there in the grocery cart. I had my back turned (still I am inches from her) when some creepy, greasy guy comes up, picks her out of cart and begins hugging her! My 4 year old was standing in the back seat facing me and screams don't touch my sister! I was horrified! It happened in the time I took bags out of the cart and turned to put them in the car. I have no idea where the guy came from. I was shaking I was so upset mostly because he was so disgusting! Needless to say I snatched her back. From then on I always put them in their seats and locked the doors then put the groceries in the back! Another time while waiting in the waiting area of a restaurant with my parents, my stepdad just picked up somebody elses kid and started talking to him. I was embarrassed! Now I know my dear old stepdad who is a friendly minister and used to being Mr. Outgoing didn't mean anything by it but I wondered what those people must have thought to have some old stranger do that. They seemed fine with it but I wondered. I heard my mom tell him later that times had changed and you can't do that anymore. In these times we live in that is so true!

 

[ErinInCT]

I agree with you all.
Another "bad" thing is when you are pregnant & everyone wants to touch your stomach!!! Ok, I am not buddha, rubbing my belly will not get you money or luck!!!

 

[feistyblue]

I think its totally outrageous to pick up someone else's child or take their hand and lead them down a bus, but I think it's OTT to say touching a babies hands will give them germs. I'm a trained paediatric nurse, and you can't catch something just from touching someone!

Exposing children and babies to minor germs is good for their immune system.

When my mum had cancer and was going through chemo, I asked the doctor if I should keep my then 2 year old away from her in case of germs and he just laughed. Whilst people with supressed immun systems should be kept away from serious diseases and illnesses - they can't be passed on through touch.