littleladykaty said:
In the spirit of child advocacy...to expect an 11 year old child to distinguish between meanness and humiliation based on "fun" seems a little unfair.
Life is not fair- anyone who raises their child with expectations of having a wonderful life based on fairness will be disappointed as well as raising their child to be an adult who travels down the road of self pitty their whole adult life because they learn to make excusses--because they didn't, fill in the blank- win, get a raise, get the date, whatever, because life is not fair, no one said it would be,- there are always people who cheat, steal and so on because life is unfair- I tell my kids - mine and the ones that I work with- that fairness is good and a noble idea - do your best to be truthful and fair to others but don't believe for one second that anyone cares if you tell them that ____ is not fair- that's not how the real world works-
To use the phrase that you used, "In the spirit of child advocacy", this is where the parents come in by doing their research- I don't think the waiters and service people come to work and pick one special child to humiliate out of meaness for the day- they work for tips and I bet the bigger tips come from happy families and not upset ones- as we waited to be seated the first time, we could see and hear quite well what was going on in the dinning area- as parents, it was then that we had to make a decision about staying there to dine- what are parents thinking if they try to force their child to conform to their expectations, if the kid is still so immature, baring mental disabilities, that at age 11 they can't understand social ques from adults with their parents there to guide them, then the parents might need to prepare to shelter that child for his entire adult life-
I have spent years, 20 years at this point, working with children around this age, normal, as well as special needs children. My education and experience gained while working with these kids tells me that a child by age 11 who doesn't understand social ques to the point of crying over silly antics, throwing straws, running around the dinning area on a stick horse and so on, while the parents are with them to guide them, whom the noise and activities from roudy behavior upset so much, seriously, where they dine is the least of their problems- they need to get professional help-
It still comes down to where are the parents and why have they not addressed this issue with their child? and if they know this child had problems with social situations of this nature then why in heaven's sake did they allow their child to be put on display in this manner?
