What's reasonable when taking extended family on free trip?

[NewDCLGuy]

Relative A decides he wants to take his extended family on a Mediterranean Cruise. He'll pay for flights and cruise tickets for Mom, brother, sister and all the kids. The family quickly agrees... mom/grandma is practically in tears. Note that the offer is completely his idea.

Well, it turns out flights to Europe are proving to be more expensive than he planned. Flights from his local airport aren't cheap, but aren't too painful. Flights for everyone else are ridiculous. $1,300-$1,600. While he can afford it, OUCH!

He can save $$hundreds per tickets if he inconveniences people with long drives to distant airports, extended layovers, multiple plane changes, or combinations of all the above. "How would you guys like to not only see the Mediterranean, but as an added bonus, spend 6 hours touring the airport in Bolivia???"

Should he just suck it up and pay for whatever flight is most convenient for the family members? Or can he ask them to make some compromises. If so, what's reasonable to ask... and what isn't? If he asks, the family will probably go along with just about anything. But he wants to do the right thing and not be unreasonable.

I know this is one of the questions that has no right or wrong answer... just curious what people think.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Hello it's a free trip. I would spend 24 hours in an airport for a free trip to the Mediterranean! Also there is always the chance of getting on a different flight once you are actually at the airport. It's a gift. As a friend of mine would say "you take it with both hands and say thank you"

 

[PRINCESS VIJA]

I think it depends on the people involved. For example someone adventurous might not mind going to see another airport. some people are more laid back and would be understanding.

Is someone older? Then I would make it easier on them.

What about health? My daughter hates to fly because she has a VERY hard time "popping" her ears when we land. She has bad pain for hours afterward. (and yes, we have tried everything, even spoken to doctors ~ but I digress). So in that instance I would make it easier.

So as crazy at is sounds I might ask some to be more accomodating than others regarding the flights.

But I would talk to them first! They might surprise you and willingly go for a more inconvenience to help you out.



BTW... I think that is awesome you are doing this for your family!

 

[disneyfav4ever]

I don't think a six hour layover is a huge sacrifice for a free trip, I'd do it. I don't think there's any point in wasting money, even if he can afford it, for easier flights, if everyone is able (i.e. maybe an older or very young traveler would do better on a direct flight,) to travel that way.

 

[SandrA9810]

Depends on the circumstances of each family member.

Say parent's are older with a little more time needed for getting around. I would try to accommodate getting them to the destination quickly.

One sibling with just a spouse and no kids. Sure I'd talk to them and ask if they want to spend 6hrs in layovers. Or if the kids were mature enough to handle hanging out in an airport.

Another option, you could ask your family to all fly to you, if it's not unreasonable. Then every one can fly together and make it there together. Don't you get discounts for big parties like that?? Just have them fly in a day or two earlier. Let all the kids camp out in the living room, and adults take the bedrooms (if that's possible).

I would speak to all of them, and see what they say. If they're penny pinchers too, they might be willing to come to a compromise.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

Honesty is the best policy. Relative could contact people and give them the option of paying the difference to avoid long layovers and drives or take the free trip as is - with the layovers etc.

He may be able to afford it, but why use it that way when he could be using it to ask me to go with you all! yes?!?

 

[MushyMushy]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with making compromises to make the trip more reasonably priced. If mom is older and traveling alone, I might go ahead and do the more expensive, but easier trip for her, but if she's a seasoned traveler and doesn't mind the inconvenience, then by all means save money!

If anyone is brash enough to complain, I'm sure you'll have a whole bunch of DISers be more than happy to have you adopt them.

 

[Magic Mom]

I think he should contact them and explain. Then give them options....drive farther or longer layover. I think it would go over better that way.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Depends on the circumstances of each family member.

Say parent's are older with a little more time needed for getting around. I would try to accommodate getting them to the destination quickly.

One sibling with just a spouse and no kids. Sure I'd talk to them and ask if they want to spend 6hrs in layovers. Or if the kids were mature enough to handle hanging out in an airport.

Another option, you could ask your family to all fly to you, if it's not unreasonable. Then every one can fly together and make it there together. Don't you get discounts for big parties like that?? Just have them fly in a day or two earlier. Let all the kids camp out in the living room, and adults take the bedrooms (if that's possible).

I would speak to all of them, and see what they say. If they're penny pinchers too, they might be willing to come to a compromise.

I'll have to agree with Sandra's post completely. I know there are those here who'd say they wouldn't mind a six-hour layover in an aiport, but my 75 y/o parents wouldn't be able to do that. They'd consider it hell with no place to rest comfortably and would resent having to deal with the public restrooms for 18 or 24 hours. Not to mention that their long airport layover comes between very long flights where they're smooshed into small airplane seats and the lack of activity/circulation would hurt their joints.

I think your friend needs to take into consideration the health and welfare of his guests and decide if he really wants to inconvenience them. While this may sound like a dream trip, what his family may wind up remembering is the nightmare of travelling to and from the destination instead of how wonderful the Mediterranean leg of the trip was.

 

[Becky2005]

That's a tough one. I think the only way is to ask.

For me personally, maybe with the longer lay-over it would be OK but after one experience with changing flights -- I try to do non-stop if at all possible. Not because of any problem with a lay-over but I was so sick after the 2nd flight. If someone were offering me a free vacation and said something about the lay-off & it was due to cost, I would be willing to pay the difference just so I didn't have to deal with a lay-over.

I thought I was going to throw up on the 2nd plane by the time we got to landing. Apparently my body doesn't handle taking off & landing twice in one day very well. It took me basically arriving at my destination and then laying down for a good couple of hours before I didn't feel ill. Not a very fun way to start a vacation. Now, the layover was a quick 2 hour one but mine was more get off one plane, get right onto another one, so maybe if it had been longer it would have been fine to give my body time to adjust or something.

It just depends on the family dynamics how you can ask them without causing any issues (which since it's a free trip, shouldn't be any issues). Of course, you can always put it to them with a "I can pay for you on X flight with a lay-over for X hours in Bolivia. If you don't want to do the lay-over I can see about direct flights if you are willing to pay the difference in cost."

That's very nice to have been offered the trip and who knows they may consider the layover part of the adventure.

 

[mtemm]

it sounds like a lot of inconvenient travelling, not just one 6 hour layover...or am I reading it wrong?

I guess my suggestion would be why not come back to the relatives with 2 options and ask their thoughts on it. maybe the trip to the mediterranean with exactly what the travel changes entail, and maybe the option for a trip elsewhere that is not as expensive that might be more convenient. maybe the carribean or the like.

 

[barkley]

has he considered checking with the cruiseline to see what their prices are for airfare?

i know that it's traditionaly less expensive booking airfare separatly, but with a group you tend to get cruise discounts anyway so it might end up that across the board the flights end up less expensive than separate bookings. if he finds this is a reasonable way to go, then it's not him saying people need to go out of certain airports/have certain layovers-it's the cruiseline.

if an individual person or persons don't want the flights the cruiseline puts forth, he could offer that they can have the same cash amount towards purchasing and arranging their own airfare.

 

[Ceila]

I guess a lot of it would depend on the family dynamics and personalities as far as how this would go over with them. But I agree with others that talking to the relatives would be the best way to go. Some may offer to kick in on the difference if it means they can take a shorter route, while others may be willing to take the layover option. I think giving options would be the nicest way to present the issue.

 

[bballmom56]

Why didn't he check into all the costs and logistics before making the offer and getting everyone excited?

 

[Pakey]

I think he's got every right to spend the amount he wants to spend. But he should tell the family members that he's will to kick in xxx for airfare which will get them a 6 hour layover in Bolivia. If they want direct flights, they can kick in the extra money. His offer never said that they'd get the fastest flight in a first class seat, did it?

We take our adult children/spouses and their families on a vacation every other year. We are willing to spend a certain amount. They have the option of spending it on better flights, better accommodations, etc. Once they hit our limit, everything after that is their responsibility.

 

[shortbun]

Hmmm, my rule about diverting to another airport is $300 per ticket must be saved. Six hours is a long drive, especially when you must be in the airport 2 hours prior. Are you overnighting at the new departure point? I say he needs to weigh the benefits and the detriments. Sometimes the difficulty of early, early travel does not pay off. Also, weigh the difference in airlines, the time wasted and the comfort of the entire party. How does flying from another airport affect the cost of the overland transportation? Car rentals differ in cost depending on drop off points. So many other things to consider. These are just a few.

 

[scrapquitler]

Should he just suck it up and pay for whatever flight is most convenient for the family members? Or can he ask them to make some compromises. If so, what's reasonable to ask... and what isn't? If he asks, the family will probably go along with just about anything. But he wants to do the right thing and not be unreasonable.

I know this is one of the questions that has no right or wrong answer... just curious what people think.

I think it is fair for him to ask them to make some compromises. He can always says "I can buy you this ticket which has two layovers, one in CHicago and one in New York, but if you'd rather fly direct, You can pay the difference in the price between that flight and the one I am thinking of buying".

ANd if anyone doesn't like it, they don't have to go on the FREE TRIP>

 

[goofy!]

Relative A decides he wants to take his extended family on a Mediterranean Cruise. He'll pay for flights and cruise tickets for Mom, brother, sister and all the kids. The family quickly agrees... mom/grandma is practically in tears. Note that the offer is completely his idea.

Well, it turns out flights to Europe are proving to be more expensive than he planned. Flights from his local airport aren't cheap, but aren't too painful. Flights for everyone else are ridiculous. $1,300-$1,600. While he can afford it, OUCH!

He can save $$hundreds per tickets if he inconveniences people with long drives to distant airports, extended layovers, multiple plane changes, or combinations of all the above. "How would you guys like to not only see the Mediterranean, but as an added bonus, spend 6 hours touring the airport in Bolivia???"

Should he just suck it up and pay for whatever flight is most convenient for the family members? Or can he ask them to make some compromises. If so, what's reasonable to ask... and what isn't? If he asks, the family will probably go along with just about anything. But he wants to do the right thing and not be unreasonable.

I know this is one of the questions that has no right or wrong answer... just curious what people think.

I can only answer what I would do. IF I had invited my family before I checked into all the details, and I could afford it as the OP can, I would go ahead and continue to make the trip as special as I could for my relatives and suck up the "ouch" factor as a lesson learned to check first. Especially for my mother.

Siblings and kids, I might approach them depending on my relationship with them and the age of my nieces and nephews. If they are under 10 or 12, there is no way I would subject them to long drives to distant airports, multiple plane changes and long layovers in foreign airports where navigating with children may be extremely cumbersome. Not to mention security and safety factors, percentage of on time flights, etc - that would have to be researched before I asked my guests (and they are your guests) to spend significant time in a foreign airport.

Also, I would have to do my research and figure out if I am going to pay the hotel costs if they miss one of their connections and end up staying the night at the airport. Are flight times usually pretty reliable or what are the chances the flights will be missed in obscure airports? Smaller airports often mean less outgoing flights, so if there is a missed flight or a mechanical failure of their scheduled flight, how likely would it be that they could catch another flight out?

Adding longer drives, more connections, smaller airports, longer layovers increases the potential for screwups. I would have to really weigh the true cost of what I would save vs. the potential of having something go wrong.

Just for convenience sake, I personally, would just suck it up and send everybody with the most direct flight. I invited them and for me, the guest rule still applies even for free trips - you make your guests as comfortable as possible.

But that is just me - your mileage may vary.

That said, as the relative on the receiving end, I would want to bend over backwards to help make it easier for the generous relative.

 

[kirstenb1]

it sounds like a lot of inconvenient travelling, not just one 6 hour layover...or am I reading it wrong?

I guess my suggestion would be why not come back to the relatives with 2 options and ask their thoughts on it. maybe the trip to the mediterranean with exactly what the travel changes entail, and maybe the option for a trip elsewhere that is not as expensive that might be more convenient. maybe the carribean or the like.

This was my first thought too. I'd love a free trip anywhere!! How about a change of destination? I wouldn't want to start a trip off with everyone stressed and/or exhausted.

 

[okeydokey]

It was generous of him to offer a free trip to family. If that means that you fly out of a place of his choosing, so be it. You could always pay the difference out of pocket yourselves or decline the invitation. Did you say the flights out of his airport are reasonable? Then maybe you need to get yourself to his airport.

A mediterranean cruise for the price of a place ticket is a realy treat.