What's it like living in the SE?

[MommyBryn]

I've been in Idaho all of my 33 years. Fairly RURAL Idaho, for the most part (we're close enough to Boise to get enough city). I LOVE the southeast, but I really only have experience with winters there. I love the green, I love the sun, I love the proximity to water, I love warmth. I dream of my family moving that way (I love GA and FL, hubby likes AL) and whenever I mention it all anyone has to tell me is how much I'd hate it. No one ever has anything good to say, always telling me how much I'd hate the humidity, how I'd hate the bugs, the creatures, I'd have to deal with natural disasters (specifically tornadoes and hurricanes), how there are way too many people…

Needless to say all of that just fuels my fire...how do THEY know what I'd love and what I'd hate! But realistically, is it really THAT bad? Or just simply different? I mean, here we basically live in the desert between mountain ranges, so spring and fall are pretty but summers are hot (we're used to over 100, but it's dry heat) and dry (and dead and ugly looking), and winters are gray (as we're usually under an inversion by being in the valley), little sun, and rarely much snow (so we don't always get the full experience of the "fourth" season), mostly just cold and windy. We have plenty of our own mosquitoes, we have our own "creatures" (in our case that would be lots of coyotes, we have some mountain lions come down and the occasional bear, our own types of spiders and creepy crawlies...), but what we DON'T really have are natural disasters. The biggest ones that we really have to be concerned with here are if Yellowstone blows or if the "big one" quake finally hits the Pacific coast. Tornadoes scare the heck out of me, and I don't like the idea of hurricanes, but if I had to choose between the two I'd probably take the hurricane?! Are there specific areas that are less prone to these things? But all we really see about those things is what makes the news. We also don't have nearly the same large populations that are in the SE....I mean, just look at a map, there's a reason so much of the west is still wild. We also love camping and my husband worries there aren't as many opportunities for that down there (at least not like there are here?). I'd be giving up probably some of the best homeschool and health freedoms in the country to leave Idaho, but I'd love to live somewhere else even just temporarily. Too bad my husbands job as a paramedic isn't one that can just move wherever, whenever! Is there such thing as a traveling paramedic? j/k If there was he'd already be one.

 

[Klayfish]

Only you could decide if you like it or not. I was born and raised in and around the Philadelphia area. Spent over 4 decades there. I lived in varying situations there from being in the heart of the city to a very rural far suburb.

Our family moved to the suburbs of Atlanta about 4.5 years ago. I have very mixed feelings about it. Sure, the weather is much better than in the northeast. It almost never snows here. A "cold" day in winter is 40-45 at the high, average is in the 50s. Summer is hot and humid, they call it "Hotlanta" for a reason. However, I prefer that to the bitter cold of PA where we used to live (we lived near the Poconos at the end). We're far enough inland that we're isolated from hurricanes. If they ever get up here, by time they do they're very weak. We had one pass by this summer and it was no big deal whatsoever. In 4.5 years here, we've never had a tornado yet. Sure, they can happen, but not as common as in the heart of tornado alley. Hail happens sometimes, but it's part of life. Really, weather here is nothing to be scared of. Hot summers, mild to cool winters, minimal risk of natural disasters.

Atlanta is very populated. The city itself and the nearby suburbs are packed. If you're used to rural Idaho, it would be culture shock for you. However, there are suburbs far enough away that are still quite rural and quite small. We live in one of the farther populated suburbs, and it's growing pretty quick. However, we're still only a 20-30 minute drive from some beautiful rural areas. We don't like camping, but if you do, there are endless options out here. Much of Georgia is still quite rural. I'm only about 30 minutes from the AL border, and that area is also very rural.

Pace of life here is much slower than I'm used to in the Northeast. People are generally friendly. However, I have to say I don't fit in with the average southern guy...at all. I don't watch college football (I hate it), I don't own a pick up truck, I don't own a gun, I don't have a tattoo, I don't want a "man cave", I don't go hunting. Most of those are the norm here in the south, so I'm a bit of a fish out of water.

Overall, I'd say I'm "meh" about living in the southeast. As much as I terribly miss Philly, I'd never return simply because it's too cold. I don't love it here, don't hate it. But once we're empty nesters, I hope I can convince DW to move even further south...to Florida.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

There are plenty of rural places in the SE if you’re concerned about crowds.

As for humidity, it depends IMO. Houston and New Orleans are brutal. OTOH, I don’t find it so bad along the “Redneck Riviera” of the AL/FL coast because it seems (in my experience) there’s always a breeze - ditto Orlando.

 

[tink1970]

I agree with @Klayfish that it's hard to tell you what you would like. I've lived in SC, TX and FL and have been in NW FL (aka LA-lower Alabama) for 18 years.

So...I guess there are more palmetto bugs than there would be in Idaho (they are like flying cockroaches and disgusting but a good bug guy helps with that) and termites are a thing (I had a fight with a friend of mine from CA for paying for annual termite inspection and prevention-why he cared when I was paying still mystifies me) so we likely spend more in preventative insect issues than you do. TBH mosquitoes were worse in the Midwest and SC than here but maybe it's just a highly variable thing.

There are snakes, alligators and bear around our neck of the woods but (knock on wood) I've never seen more than a snakeskin. My girlfriend lives on several acres that back up to the forest and she sees deer, snakes, and other critters more regularly.

It's humid most of the time (today felt wonderful, the humidity was only 50%, normally 80-100%) and that will make the heat and the cold worse, for sure. That said, here in NW FL we have 4 seasons-hot as heck, 1 week of fall, gray and rainy, 2 weeks of spring and back to hot as heck (which lasts from May to Oct, give or take).

I hate camping but there is an abundance of opportunities near us-the National Seashore, an hour away, and in between (no details because I hate camping). DD was a girl scout and many sons of friends were boy scouts and they all had ample opportunities to camp. Agree again with pp who says there are still lots of rural areas here and across the border in Alabama.

Hurricanes are a real concern. The nice thing is there is usually ample warning and it's honestly just part of life. My DH works in a tiny town 3 1/2 hours east during the week and that area was devastated by Hurricane Michael. He's been living in a hotel during the workweek for 4 months. If you live on or near the coast you will hear the stories and likely experience a storm. Tornados scare me, too, but I experienced more of them in the midwest. Again, a possibility but a fairly low likelihood.

The pace is slower here, people are (usually) friendly and while the cost of living is lower, so are wages. Florida has no state income tax which is nice. I would say the more south and east in Florida you get the more NE vibe is there (I call Miami/Ft Lauderdale NYC South).

I don't have a gun, pick up truck, or tattoos. I do love my college football, though (oh and I don't have a man cave, because I'm a girl!). My life is fairly easy and quiet and like most normal small city suburban existence.

I don't think we'll move anytime soon if ever, and if we did it would be to Texas. Having lived in the midwest, New England, Virginia, South Carolina, Texas, and Florida ; Florida so far wins.

 

[MommyBryn]

Thank you! It's helpful to hear from people with experience! My husband did do some EMS training in New Orleans for a short time in September, years ago, and he definitely wouldn't want to go back there! He agrees on the humidity.

 

[MommyBryn]

Ahh yeah, termites are "a thing" here, too!

So how often do hurricanes totally decimate places (like the kind of news that actually makes it to us on the other side of the country)? When I look at homes on Zillow I always wonder "has this one been through a hurricane?" or if it's newer I wonder if it was built because it replaced one that was ruined, stuff like that. Or the amount of trees around a home being a risk (for hurricanes or tornados). Because in that regard, I have NO idea what I'm looking at.

 

[Brett Wyman]

This is the first I'm hearing of man caves and tattoos being relegated to the southeast!

 

[MommyBryn]

This is the first I'm hearing of man caves and tattoos being relegated to the southeast!

LOL...those and guns and trucks make me thing we might fit in better in the SE than I previously thought.

 

[tink1970]

Ahh yeah, termites are "a thing" here, too!

So how often do hurricanes totally decimate places (like the kind of news that actually makes it to us on the other side of the country)? When I look at homes on Zillow I always wonder "has this one been through a hurricane?" or if it's newer I wonder if it was built because it replaced one that was ruined, stuff like that. Or the amount of trees around a home being a risk (for hurricanes or tornados). Because in that regard, I have NO idea what I'm looking at.

Honestly I'm not expert but Katrina in 2005 took out some smaller Mississippi towns and Michael kind of wiped out Mexico Beach and hurt Panama City. We were here for Ivan in 2004 and it took 3 -4 years for some of the smaller and lower lying communities like Gulf Breeze (which is an island) to rebuild completely.

I always evaluate my trees and have them trimmed if needed prior to storm season (well, except for the two on the city's property that are "historic" and I can't touch ). A lot of insurances won't insure a house if it hasn't been built to "code" (which I guess is good?) and newer builds are usually built to a more stringent code safety-wise. My house prior to my current house was actually built right before Ivan and there was no damage at all. A lot of the damage we suffered here after Ivan was due to the tornados that were spawned by the storm, though, so there was an element of luck of the draw there. I'd never live right next to the water (or at least have my primary house there) because of storm surge and/or flooding. My current house is at the TOP of the hill, so while I'm probably only 1/2 mile from the Bay, flood water, storm surge, etc should not hit AND we're surrounded by two story houses so my flat one story house will not be a lightening/tornado rod. I guess I sound a little paranoid but I've been through enough storms to see what houses get hit and how. DH and I have actually considered moving to Mexico Beach or Appalachicola after DD graduates since statistically there will be a low change of another big storm there while we're alive AND the new builds will be super safe. Cynical, but true.

I'm sure in Idaho there are considerations I'd never think of with snow/ice/mountains etc so it's just a function of where you live and what the environment is like. Idaho is beautiful though

 

[TipsyTraveler]

@Klayfish, I’m considering relocating to the Atlanta/Alpharetta area from Maryland. South Alpharetta, John’s Creek, Roswell, Sandy Springs... How different is the culture there compared to the mid-Atlantic region? I’m specifically looking to avoid any “good ol’ boys” communities.

 

[MommyBryn]

Thank you, I really appreciate all the kind replies!

 

[lovin'fl]

We live in the Raleigh-Durham NC area and LOVE it. We were born and raised in the Baltimore area. Moved here many years ago but had a hard time being away from all our family so we moved to PA for a little while but then came back here to NC and lived here for 5 more years before moving back to the Baltimore area. Lived there for 10 years. DH got recruited to come back to work here in NC when we had 3 in HS. He took job and got condo down here while I stayed up there and got the kids through school. As soon as youngest (twin DDs) graduated, we moved back down here permanently. So, long story short, we have lived here about 9 years in total (in 22 years of marriage...11 years in MD and 2 in PA....been in current home here in NC for almost 2 years now).

I love it. Weather is a tad better (rather the heat and humidity than the snow and ice and cold). It's less crowded and busy. Less traffic. Cheaper housing (and COL in general). Saving a ton compared to 3 years ago when we were living up there (literally spending 1/3 here). Have a nicer house too (updated and cute where our house in MD was a 1973 fixer on a tiny lot). We can get to FL for vacations easier...no flying. Also to Hilton Head, which we love. And the Raleigh-Durham area is not some southern country bunkin area. It's very modern/progressive and has a lot of transplants and is growing (Durham's American tobacco district). Lots of great local dining venues and other cool things to do (sports like the Bulls and the Hurricanes and the college basketball teams....great beaches close by....great mountain town nearby, Asheville). College town too. Plenty of shopping and I am sure music and arts too (admit we are not into that so much).

Was just discussing this with SIL. She still lives in our old county in MD. She has three 20-something kids, like we do, so we were talking about where we'll end up and where we think our kids will. I have 2 in college in PA and one down here about to be done college and already working in his profession. I'd like my 2 PA kids to come this way after college. DH and I may even go farther south (considering Hilton Head and Tampa). I'd prefer my kids to be within a few hour drive (but I know they will do what's best for them). Our family, in MD, is about 5.5 hour drive from us and that isn't fantastic but it's do-able. The 9 hours to my 2 in college in PA...that stinks and I cannot wait until that's over (I hope it will end...if they stay there, we may have to consider going back to MD). But SIL...she has one kid that's like 2 hours away and she wants him back in the hometown. She doesn't even like 2 hours away. She has another in FL and is hoping she'll come back after graduating. Though niece's BF is from FL and so I mentioned NC as being halfway between the families. SIL would not like that either. So it seems most folks like to stay local to where they were raised and like their kids to do so too. I commented to SIL something like 'ew, MD' and she replied that she loves it there and seemed offended by my 'ew'. Folks just love their hometowns like they love their kids....unconditionally with rose colored glasses. They don't see the flaws. I am sure I am guilty of that with here (in NC that I now think of as hometown). I added this paragraph because it may explain why OP was getting such a negative response from friends and family (they just can't see why OP would want to go another place or like another place).

In conclusion, one has to spend time in a place to see if it feels like home. I was 10 years (2007-2017) in a town in MD that NEVER felt like home. Even though I grew up 20 minutes or so away from there. My mom still lives where I grew up and I was just there for a month, taking care of her, and it did NOT feel like home. Here feels like home. I have family members that do 'ew, NC' about here....some won't even come visit as they vision southern country redneck place. It's so not that. But they'd have to stay here to see.

Bugs and critters...yep, we have them. Just killed the biggest black widow I have ever seen, in my garage. It was size of grape, no lie. Also had baby copperhead in road next to my yard. But inside my house....not so much. Outside, walk at night and see big orb spiders in their webs. Hear the coyotes at night, creepy. Had a deer on a trail come at me when I was walking my dog, scary. Recently, there was a baby bear sighting in our town. That happens every now and again as we are on some bear migration path. But, even in MD we had wildlife...even on my .25 acre lot. We had bats in our attic there and camelback spider cricket things (those were an infestation too and took about 4-5 years to get rid of). In our yard there we had a raccoon and a woodchuck and snakes and sometimes those turkey vulture things (they loved our neighborhood). And we had black widows there too. I do miss our chipmunks (don't see them down here in NC).

EDIT ON 1/27 TO ADD MORE DETAILS

 

[BrinkofSunshine]

I’ve spent most of my life in Orlando. I love it here, but it’s not for everyone. It seems like the climate is getting hotter here- summers last forever (heat into December).. and the winters aren’t getting quite as chilly. It can be tough sweating during the holiday season. But it’s a beautiful 59 degrees right now!

There’s also plenty of camping areas around. There are places you can camp basically right on the beach!

 

[Klayfish]

This is the first I'm hearing of man caves and tattoos being relegated to the southeast!

LOL...those and guns and trucks make me thing we might fit in better in the SE than I previously thought.

They aren't relegated to the southeast by any stretch, but they are far more common here than in the northeast. Here, the vast majority of guys drive a pick up, usually with some college emblems on it somewhere, along with "I love my guns" stickers and talk to each other about "man card" stuff. Not all of them, certainly, but quite a number.

@Klayfish, I’m considering relocating to the Atlanta/Alpharetta area from Maryland. South Alpharetta, John’s Creek, Roswell, Sandy Springs... How different is the culture there compared to the mid-Atlantic region? I’m specifically looking to avoid any “good ol’ boys” communities.

Those suburbs you listed are very densely populated. They're fairly similar in size, layout, etc...to the suburbs you'd see around Philly, DC, etc.... Actually, so many people who live in the really crowded suburbs are transplants. The "good ol' boys" stuff is much further out....Cartersville and to the north, Dawsonville and north, etc....

 

[luvsJack]

Well, I have lived in the south my whole life so kinda hard to compare but its not as bad as all that. My experience of the places you listed is mostly going to be Alabama (I live in MS now)

Yes, we have humidity and bugs. The bugs really are not that big of a deal. They don't come in my house for the most part. They hang around outside but when we have cook outs and other stuff outside, we rarely see them or are bothered by them.

The humidity, you get used to it. I found it much more humid in Orlando than in most parts of Alabama or Georgia. But some summers are horribly humid and some are not. I agree that NOLA can be a killer in the summer with the humidity but southern Alabama isn't nearly that bad.

Hurricanes, well, one is going to hit somewhere every year but they don't usually hit the same area every year or even threaten the same area every year. Upstate Alabama would be less likely to be affected but its hard to say. Just depends on where it lands and which way it goes. You will know about it well ahead to prepare. But honestly, having dealt with them all my life, they really don't affect my day to day life very often. You learn to be prepared but not to really worry.

Tornados bother me a whole lot more than Hurricanes, but I have lived here my whole life and never been hit by one.

We do not get a lot of snow. Its a real "event" when we do.

Some years we get a honest to goodness "fall". It lasts oh, about 2 days and summer comes back. And then we get some winter. Maybe a week. And summer comes back. Spring varies. But the jokes about all 4 seasons in one day? Yeah, its a real thing here. We honestly had tornado watches and warnings about a week ago in the morning and snow chances that night. Its can be weird.

Not everyone hunts, fishes and watches college football. Not every guy has a pick up truck. A lot do and in some areas it seems like everyone does, but there are plenty that don't. But no one really cares if you do or you don’t.

 

[L&Lfan]

Born and raised in the Greenville/Spartanburg SC area. Loved it and would return in a heartbeat. Actually I find the cultural/dining/shopping experience there more sophisticated and varied than here in south Jersey. Most people I talk to here plan to leave when they retire, mostly due to weather and taxes.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I can't compare to where you live. But, I have always lived in the mid-South.
I was born and raised in E. Tennessee.

When you mention the geography where you live, 'between mountain ranges'. It makes me think of E. TN or North Carolina. This area.
Okay.... the Appalachians/Smokeys are not the mountains of Idaho, but.

Yes, there can be that southern culture in some areas of the South.
That is for sure.
I live in a more rural area, an hour from the nearest real city/civilization.
A lot of the Good Ole Boy, pickup truck, thing here.
BUT, you do not have to live in this type of area.
The further away from a more progressive and urban area, then the more of that highly 'stereotypical' southern culture you will have.
But, if you don't choose that, then this doesn't have to be a factor at all.

I will tell a funny story. Not to give you any concern... but just to tell the truth and be funny!
Okay, We live in this exact area due to my husbands work. (Hope to move one day soon as he retires)
This is from years ago... He had to travel a bit for work... He pulls in at his destination, two counties away... and even further from any progressive more urban area...
An old pick-up truck pulls in, the truck coughs and sputters and whines, as the engine just does not want to stop and cut-off like it should... A heavy middle-aged guy gets out, wearing not much but some old over-hauls... he looks back and yells at the truck. "....Squeal like a pig, durn ya!!!!"

I would do more research on this area of the mid-South, and see what you think.
While you are used to a more rural setting and type of life, here, you might want to be closer to a larger city/town, where there are all kinds of people. More opportunities, etc.

The thing is, there are a lot of GOOD things about life in the South too!!!!
Stop by one day, and we can have some delicious home-cooked southern food, and sit out on my front porch gliders with a glass of ice-cold tea and fresh squeezed lemon? And, no, I don't 'gossip'!!!!

 

[Tigerlulu]

Move about an hour or so in from the coast and the hurricanes won’t decimate you. You might lose some trees and you might evacuate more for lack of comfort (loss of power and services) than anything else but only in a more severe storm. We LOVE the south and wouldn’t live anywhere else. I’ve lived all over—north, south, east, west, and had good experiences in all places but my very favorite place to call home is the Deep South. Mostly south Louisiana. But also have loved Arkansas, Florida, Kentucky, South Carolina, Mississippi and Alabama and wouldn’t hesitate to live in Tennessee or Georgia either. FWIW, I don’t randomly come across snakes and alligators, although I do have a swamp right down the road from me. I don’t generally see roaches or other critters, I do live in a sort of rural area that is trying to change outside of a smaller city. We do take termites seriously but haven’t had those yet (knock on wood!) and we have some world class health care right down the road two hours in Houston that can’t be beat. We have a lot of friends here who moved from out west (Utah) who love it and never want to go back. It’s just a great place to be.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Those suburbs you listed are very densely populated. They're fairly similar in size, layout, etc...to the suburbs you'd see around Philly, DC, etc.... Actually, so many people who live in the really crowded suburbs are transplants. The "good ol' boys" stuff is much further out....Cartersville and to the north, Dawsonville and north, etc....

Thanks, that’s what I was hoping to hear.

 

[lovin'fl]

Born and raised in the Greenville/Spartanburg SC area. Loved it and would return in a heartbeat. Actually I find the cultural/dining/shopping experience there more sophisticated and varied than here in south Jersey. Most people I talk to here plan to leave when they retire, mostly due to weather and taxes.

Love that area too...Greenville/Spartanburg. DDs played in softball tourneys there.