Whatever happened to common courtesy....

[RACHELSMOM1]

Our December trip was wonderful, but we had to deal with some very rude people. Our precious little angel has Down Syndrome, is almost 3 years old, and not walking yet. On a full bus one morning to go to MK I had to stand,and could not hold her the whole way, so I asked the 2 small girls in front of me if DD could sit with them.I placed her between them(they took up 2 seats and their mother glared at me)and the grandma and grandpa just stared at me (hello,woman with a baby needs a seat).All I cared about was the safety of my baby.The 2 girls acted like my baby had cooties or leprosy or something.Sorry,but DDs safety comes first.As for the staring and acting like DD has contagious disease,their loss,because she is sooo special.Has anyone else encountered such rudeness?

 

[bopper]

Are you saying two girls took up two seats and you added another child? or were two girls taking three seats?

If two girls are taking two seats, then imagine you are a little kid sitting in your seat like Mom told you to and then some stranger puts another kid in your seat without you saying it was okay. The stranger asked, but what are you supposed to say? Sure, put a kid I don't know in my seat with my sister and me? What were they supposed to do? You are assuming that the kids were being rude because of the DS...maybe they were taken aback that someone chose to put a child on their seat?

 

[Hannathy]

Did they say you could sit her there? Just curious, but you said you asked so if they said yes they shouldn't have stared BUT if they said no then you were rude- sorry. I always have my kids move over but not everyone does nor do they have to. If I don't want to stand I wait for the next bus.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

Are you saying two girls took up two seats and you added another child? or were two girls taking three seats?

If two girls are taking two seats, then imagine you are a little kid sitting in your seat like Mom told you to and then some stranger puts another kid in your seat without you saying it was okay. The stranger asked, but what are you supposed to say? Sure, put a kid I don't know in my seat with my sister and me? What were they supposed to do? You are assuming that the kids were being rude because of the DS...maybe they were taken aback that someone chose to put a child on their seat?

I am talking about a full bus, 2 tiny children (could have taken up one seat comfortably) mother taking up a seat (we always put our children in our laps to give adults standing a seat or make them move together to make room).My only thought at the moment was the safety of my child-she is floppy and cannot support herself and would easily slip out of my arms as the bus moved. And,yes they were uncomfortable because my Rachel has DS-I just know how to recognize this,and no I am not paranoid-I just know. It will not happen again, though-We have her wheelchair/stroller ordered,and she will not ever have to be placed in this situation again.We will have her GAC and she will not have to "intrude" on anyone else.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

Did they say you could sit her there? Just curious, but you said you asked so if they said yes they shouldn't have stared BUT if they said no then you were rude- sorry. I always have my kids move over but not everyone does nor do they have to. If I don't want to stand I wait for the next bus.

Yes,they said okay-I don't think they realized she was DS until she sat down.

 

[jessica52877]

I think the girls were probably not aware what was wrong with your daughter. Your daughter and other kids like her are so special and bring so much joy, but my own 4 year old son I would assume would stare at her as he doesn't understand about handicaps. He hasn't been around them enough to have been taught about them, if ever. I think that they just didn't understand and weren't trying to be rude.

I also think that someone should have offered to give up there seat. We just returned last night and my husband offered several times on the monorail to stand for someone else to sit, common courtesy. Especially when you can visually see there is a problem.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

Did they say you could sit her there? Just curious, but you said you asked so if they said yes they shouldn't have stared BUT if they said no then you were rude- sorry. I always have my kids move over but not everyone does nor do they have to. If I don't want to stand I wait for the next bus.

No, they don't have to move over, you are right, but my original title was what happened to common courtesy.The mother lacked the courtesy I believe.As for waiting for the next bus, we do that often, but we had waited for 45 minutes for the bus, and it already had a load from all star sports,and did not appear to be so full until we boarded,and then with all the people boxed in around me what could I do? When I started this thread,I only wondered what happened to manners,as discussion,not controversy.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

I think the girls were probably not aware what was wrong with your daughter. Your daughter and other kids like her are so special and bring so much joy, but my own 4 year old son I would assume would stare at her as he doesn't understand about handicaps. He hasn't been around them enough to have been taught about them, if ever. I think that they just didn't understand and weren't trying to be rude.

I also think that someone should have offered to give up there seat. We just returned last night and my husband offered several times on the monorail to stand for someone else to sit, common courtesy. Especially when you can visually see there is a problem.

Staring is not a problem,I understand that. This was actually pulling away and looking disgusted-the mom and grandparents also.The little girls and their mom actually treated Rachel like she was a leper or something.

Thank you for understanding that sometimes a seat is needed for special people. Your husband is a gentleman.

 

[OneLittleSpark]

Some people just don't understand. I'm not condoning their reaction to your little girl, just saying that some people don't know enough about conditions such as DS. I think the only thing to be done is try to put them out of your mind, and remember all the wonderful experiences your family shared on the holiday instead . And maybe educate the world a little, one person at a time, when we get the opportunity.
Fairy dust to all

 

[jessica52877]

No, they don't have to move over, you are right, but my original title was what happened to common courtesy.The mother lacked the courtesy I believe.As for waiting for the next bus, we do that often, but we had waited for 45 minutes for the bus, and it already had a load from all star sports,and did not appear to be so full until we boarded,and then with all the people boxed in around me what could I do? When I started this thread,I only wondered what happened to manners,as discussion,not controversy.

Well, to me, for some reason lots of people seem to be lacking manners now a days. There are still many who do have them but I feel it is a different world!

And I meant to add to my earlier post, that I didn't understand the mother or grandmother being upset or looking or pulling away, that is just plain crazy! Kids, yes, adults no!

 

[waltfan1957]

I am talking about a full bus, 2 tiny children (could have taken up one seat comfortably) mother taking up a seat (we always put our children in our laps to give adults standing a seat or make them move together to make room).My only thought at the moment was the safety of my child-she is floppy and cannot support herself and would easily slip out of my arms as the bus moved. And,yes they were uncomfortable because my Rachel has DS-I just know how to recognize this,and no I am not paranoid-I just know. It will not happen again, though-We have her wheelchair/stroller ordered,and she will not ever have to be placed in this situation again.We will have her GAC and she will not have to "intrude" on anyone else.

instead of criticising rachelsmom you all should be questioning why no adult offered her a seat DS or not she is only 3 what is wrong with the world today manners seem to have gone today

 

[LindsayDunn228]

instead of criticising rachelsmom you all should be questioning why no adult offered her a seat DS or not she is only 3 what is wrong with the world today manners seem to have gone today

Holy run-on sentence, Batman!!

Rachel, your family may be better off driving to and from the parks and skip the bus. No one, adult, child, elderly, disabled or not, has a guarantee that anyone will give up their seat. Sad, but true.

I'm sorry your child was given "The Look."

 

[casjen72]

Honestly, if I am an able bodied adult, I would give up my seat for anyone standing and holding a child. It would not matter to me that the child had a disability or not. I know from experience trying to stand up, on a moving bus, while holding your 3 year old is near impossible. Luckily people were kind enough to let me sit with my child on my lap (he has a motor delay and would not have been safe in the seat alone BUT no one knew that but me).

Every adult sitting around her was in the wrong here. I agree, where is common courtesy.

I think she was just trying to make the best of a situation she felt was dnagerous for her daughter.

It's hard enough to deal with your child's delays and differences at times. It makes it much worse to come to a DISABILITY board looking for support and get criticized. This is such a pet peeve of mine.

 

[RACHELSMOM1]

Holy run-on sentence, Batman!!

Rachel, your family may be better off driving to and from the parks and skip the bus. No one, adult, child, elderly, disabled or not, has a guarantee that anyone will give up their seat. Sad, but true.

I'm sorry your child was given "The Look."

Okay,just to clarify-my original question was about common decency.I added the way my baby was treated(she weighs all of 23 pounds and did not hurt anyone sitting with the little girls-who had so much room to spare-and my main concern was her safety).Yes,I would do it all over again,even if some think I was rude, I had less than a minute to decide to keep her safe in the seat while I stood up.The ride to the park was 15 minutes-not too long to "inconvenience" the family sitting down, but long enough to be dangerous for my floppy little DS baby if I had not chosen to seat her when I did.

As for driving to the parks-Rachel has a right to use the bus as much as anyone else,and she has a right to be safe. Like I have posted,we will have her stroller/wheelchair and her GAC from now on.She will have a guaranteed seat and be able to board safely before others who may not be kind to her.

 

[Hannathy]

wow! yes your right she has the right to use the bus as anyone else-- the same right as those little girls. They were first and got a seat they have the right to keep them whether you think it is right or not. You are not entitled a seat anymore than I am. If I want a seat that badly I wait and have waited. Even with the Wheelchair if someone else is there first you will wait. As everyone on this board is usually fast to say maybe they had a hidden disability.

 

[SueM in MN]

This thread was closed because Cheshire Figment and I felt it was going down the same road that threads on this subject usually do.
The subject has come up on this and other boards and usually ends up with 2 groups - those who feel seats should be given up and those who feel anyone who wants/needs to make sure they get a seat should wait for the next bus.

An additional note for the OP>
GACs (Guest Assistance Cards) are for accomidation in the parks; they are not used outside of the parks. If you show one to the bus driver, he/she may have never seen one before.
If you have not read it yet, you may want to check out the disABILITIES FAQs thread. There is a section about GACs and one about buses.
One thing to keep in mind is that if your child's special needs stroller does not have a transport option (basically strengthened areas to allow it to be tied down in a bus like a wheelchair), it would not be safe to use the wheelchair tiedowns. If you have not ordered a stroller yet, that would be something to request.