what would you have done?

Briar Rose 7457

Proud of my Princesses
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Apr 9, 2002
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dd is 12. during the summer, she broke the discman I bought for her. she wanted anotehr one, and I made her use some of her birthday money to buy herself a discman.

yesterday she took her discman to school. she had one of my CD's with her. she loaned her discman to her best friend. best friend put the discman in best friend's locker. someone broke into the locker and stole the discman and the CD.

dd wants another discman. I told her she had to use her own money and that she had to replace my CD. and that the new discman was not to be left in a locker at school. my sister says I should not have allowed her to purchase another discman, even with her own money.

what would you have done?
 
I would have done just what you did, BriarRose.
IMO, you made very wise decisions in each instance.
Pam
 
I would let her buy it with her own money and replace your CD. I would also not let her take it school anymore. It shouldn't be there in the first place.
 
I would have probaly done the same thing as you and then not allowed it to go to school
 

Was it a clear rule between the both of you that the discman was not allowed to go to school with her??
 
/
Things do break. Your first decision was wise.

So is your second. I don't let my kids take their expensive things to school. That's not what school is for IMO. It's ashame, but their are young little thieves out there. A lesson learned. A hug for your DD because it's a hard one.
 
they're "not supposed" to have them in school, but everyone brings them anyhow. I never specifically told her not to bring it to school.
 
That makes a difference to me in the way I would handle things with my 11yodd. And yes I see kids waiting for their parents with headphones on too.

You see if I didn't have it as a rule, I suppose my action would be to make a rule that no expensive items are to go to school (unless it is discussed first) and the next time it happens you WILL pay for the replacements. My dd is an "airhead":rolleyes: . I know it is sad to admit but it is true. So I approach discipline from this angle now and it has worked for us.

BTW we are on out 3rd discman thing...I haven't found one that holds up to a pre-teen girl.

Edited to add...
I think you handled it right on the mark, btw.
 
I would have done the same thing you did.:)
 
I would have done exactly the same.

My son took his Gameboy Advance to the playground behind our house this summer and let another child play with it while he was playing soccer. The Gameboy disappeared, the other child said he left it on the slide. I won't buy him another, he's very careless with his things in general.

I also told him last week he's going to have to replace his backpack with his own money if it tears--he's on his second one and it's not because it's a cheap backpack but because he drags it around on the ground and over the curbs, etc. It will kill him to have to spend his money on something like a backpack, but he really needs to learn that lesson.
 
I would have done the same thing!!!! Got to teach them responsibility somehow!!!
 
I think you handled it just right. She will learn a valuable lesson about taking care of her things ... and also taking responsibility for them with something happens.

She is old enough to know what can happen without you spelling everything out (i.e. I didn't tell her not to take it to school).

Keep up the good parenting - it will be worth it in the long-run.
 
I would have handled it just like you did. (I hope!) I don't see any reason why she shouldn't be allowed to buy another one, but she should need to use her own money. It's unfortunate that someone stole hers, but she's old enough that she probably knew that lending it to someone was risky anyway.
 
I think you have handled this nicely..... I would add that before she buys another diskman for herself, she needs to replace your CD........

((((((((Hugs))))))))))
 
If it's her own money I don't see the reasoning in you telling her she can't buy another one - which is what your sister is telling you I guess? I don't understand her reasoning. I would CERTAINLY make her buy me a replacement CD.

She'll either eventually figure out how to take care of things or get sick of replacing it with her own money and wait for birthdays or Hannakkuh and go to the old stand-by for kids everywhere - GRANDPARENTS!
 

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