what would you do??

[maddi]

If you knew ahead of time this would the last time you were going to Disney as a family and wanted to make an extra special memory for your children, what is the one thing you would do?

Our children are 5 (DD) and 12 (DS) and I would like to make a lasting memory for them with their daddy. My DH has congenial heart disease and his life expectance is very short. We based this vacation on the fact that it will probably be our last time to DW as a family. So anywhere the children have wanted to eat, I have made ressies. Mentally, I have staked out places for parades and fireworks. Bought our tix to MNSSHP with costumes for all of us(a first), gowns for CRT, storybook, and Parkfare. Bought a camcorder to record all the special moments of daddy and kiddies. But something just seems to be missing, what I don't know.

Any suggestion on how to create a long lasting loving memory for us to share? Any one thing you thought about doing but always seem to put it off until the next time? Thanks for any suggestions

 

[Feralpeg]

When will you be going to WDW and are you staying at a WDW resort? If so, I think I might have a little something I could delivery to your resort for your DH and the kids. I have a balloon with the Incredibles Dad on it that says something like World's Greatest Dad. I could delivery the balloon and a little something else if you are interested. Please PM me with your info.

Peggy

 

[Captain Blue Sky]

Can you still purchase an engraved paving stone at WDW? I recall walking into the MK in June and looking so ardently down at my feet, reading the various inscriptions. My feeling is something like this is permanent it will always be there, and if your children take their children to WDW then they might enjoy and feel strengthened of the memory of their Dad. So very, very sorry to hear of his condition.

I wish you blessings beyond comprehension...

 

[jazzyjess]

Along the paving stone thread you could go to Epcot and leave a lasting "legacy" - family picture, or individual pictures too. I think they are $25.00 (? please someone advise - I only glanced at the prices because it was not something I was thinking of doing)
But what it is is a small (I think 1-2 inch squared) photo engraved onto steel, which will be mounted onto a granite boulder at the entrance of Epcot. There are hundreds done already. What they give you is a coordinate so when you come back, you know where to find yours (aka G-45 - look in the G section, row 45)

Could be pretty special?

 

[melomouse]

Hi Maddi -
Geez - I froze when I read your post.. my DH succumbed to his 6-year battle with renal failure on our first/last WDW trip in August 2001. My DS was 9 and DD just turned 5. We went there with the ECV and lots of prearrangements and from Day 3, DH was in Celebration Heath til he left us on September 2nd. Though we had been to DL when DD was 2, the plan had been to get to WDW "when Dad was well enough"
However - though I was the only one conscious about the time left as we planned the trip - it was bittersweet as could be. We spent one day as a family at MK and stayed at POFQ. What I can tell you is that YOU need to take care of YOU, too - and do what's important to YOU and for DH. Those are the expereinces you won't be able to get back. DH and I LOVED the fireworks and had "our" spot by the Pavilion Plaza where we would watch and shed a tear. We shared ice cream in his favorite flavor - butter pecan. He held the kids and sat with DS and DD on rides he could do. He got lots of pleasure watching the kids in Toontown and taking our time - tho it was blazing hot and I knew he felt lousy.
Yes, get a brick if you can. I have thought about it many times.
So when DH was in the hospital, kids went to every park many times, my DSS(24) came to be with us and they enjoyed and told Dad their adventures tho he had days of being "present" and not.
But....
This is what I have to say to you that has been the best healing for me and my kids - we keep going BACK to WDW. When we leave on Monday for this trip - it will be our 6th visit.It was important for me for the 2nd the 3rd times back to go to stay at WL, where DH had WANTED to go but I nixed it then for $ reasons. I never miss Spectromagic or Wishes. I cry every time and my kids know why. I do everything with them that we agree on, we are never commandos - we rest and play and ENJOY!! This will be my 4th viewing of Fantasmic - that DH had missed - and he is with me every step of the way.
Disney heals me and I feel close to him there. Some people think I am nuts - they just don't get it.
I send you prayers and wish I could give you all a big hug right now. I have found that if Mom is ok, my kids are ok. Love your DH as if he will live forever, because no matter how long you both have in this world, you are making memories in your hearts for always.

melomouse

 

[karen l]

My DH passed away before we were able to make it to WDW. He battled cancer cancer for 2 1/2yrs & was never well enough for us to make the trip. After he passed in 2003, I managed to take the children to WDW & we always talk about how much fun it would've been had he been with us. My advice to you is go & have fun. It would be great if you could leave a legacy tile but if you can't don't stress about it. Just be together & have a great time. The memories for your family will carry you through many sad times. Best wishes & prayers to you & your family.

 

[kidzmom3]

i suggest an illuminations cruise. We really enjoyed ours. It makes the wonderful illuminations even better, plus you sit and can rest!

I highly recommend it.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Our last WDW trip as a family was such a whirlwind that we actually remember much and friends have said the same. So make plenty of downtime. If money allows i would take taxis rather than the bus. Do room service or at least order in pizza one night. Stuff to take the stress out of the vacation.

grinningghost had a post where she mentioned a book;

"Well, we celebrated his birthday tonight and I bought him a book called "A Father's Legacy", which has hundreds of pages of questions that require answers in writing. Stuff like "what were you afraid of as a boy?", etc. Just stuff to pass along through the generations."

that sounds wonderful for the years ahead when the kids want to know what their Daddy was like.
Getting down on the floor and playing with the kids will give more memories.



Well, we celebrated his birthday tonight and I bought him a book called "A Father's Legacy", which has hundreds of pages of questions that require answers in writing. Stuff like "what were you afraid of as a boy?", etc. Just stuff to pass along through the generations.

 

[magicaldisney]

Well now that I have stopped crying...I would like to say my prayers are with you. Just when you think things in your own life are terrible, there's always something there to give you a wake up call to say "I guess my life isn't so bad". My heart aches for you.

That said.....

We did the Leave a Legacy tile. The cost is or at least last year was $25.00. They are located on the walls in front of Epcot. A picture is taken of your family (or whoever you choose). They then etch that picture on a tile to be put on one of the stone walls. It takes about three months after they take the picture to get it on the wall. However, it is not something that will be there forever. I can't remember how long they said the walls will be there, but they will be replaced with something else someday. You'd have to check on that.

Best wishes to you and your family.

 

[maddi]

Thank you for your heartfelt love. I wondered onto this neat board seeking info to help with planning and money saving ideas for our DW trip and found a world of wonderful friends.

I sincerely appreciate all the wonerful ideas. I'm currently checking into several of them. I love the stones and legacy tiles...I just can't phantom the idea of going back to DW without DH. Though the idea of leaving a part of us there for our children and children's children is such a neat idea.

I guess I never thought about the "after" on where we would go for vacations. DW has always been the given as a huge family vacation.

I love the idea of the "Father's Legacy" book. I've never heard of it but it would be wonderful for our youngest to get to know her daddy in his own words besides our memories we will share with her. I'm definiately going to check into that book tomorrow.

Thanks everyone for your heartfelt compassion, your wonderful ideas, and cherished friendship!

 

[triplefigs]

My prayers are with all of you on this thread who have lost a loved one or are struggling with chronic illness. I don't have any suggestions. I just wanted to commend you all on your strength, love, and caring hearts. I know that your husbands must be very proud of you all. Your children are very blessed to have you as moms.

 

[dougsmom98]

My best friends mom bought each of the kids a Disney photo album with the year imprinted on it. She said they would always remember the year of that last magical trip together. God Bless.

 

[safetymom]

They don't sell the bricks anymore.

I think you will all have a great time no matter what you do. The kids will have a great time in the parks. Be sure to take lots of pictures so you and the kids can remember the vacation.

I also agree. Be sure to take care of yourself. I have been in your shoes.

 

[alisonbestford]

The 'Father's Legacy' sounds a great idea
I, too, am off to look for it

We went to WDW last year, thinking that it would be a final trip for myself, DH and DD (6) as DH has a benign, but terminal brain tumour.

I am strong believer in creating memories for us all - so much so that our house is in serious need of decoration

We're in the happy position of having been able to arrange to return for Easter 2006 when DH and I plan to re-new our wedding vows

Who knows what the future holds for any of us.

The suggestions for the book and the legacy at Epcot I hadn't even considered

Have a fantastic trip and hold on tight to those memories

 

[brymolmom]

My prayers go to you and your family that you're able to have the time of your lives and push all (or most) of your day-to-day struggles aside for this time.

I am a 33 year old woman who's own father died when I was 10. It is a source of grief today while his memory is a joy. It has largely defined who I am today so I can't imagine my life any other way.

I urge you to use the camcorder as much as possible. What we sometimes don't realize as adults is how few actual memories we have from childhood. I'm talking about those memories that you can visualize in your mind, not the learned kind. I have about a handful of my dad. With today's technology, your kids should be able to have more than that! Now, with all the stories about dad that my family has stated and restated over the years - I feel I know more than those few memories - and I urge you to have that kind of communication. Keep him in your lives always - through words, stories, etc.

The Father's Legacy book sounds great to me. You might also want to suggest to your dh that he write personalized letters to each child right after the trip talking about his favorite parts with them.

One thing I've always wished I had from dad was a personalized letter (or two or three) talking about our relationship. I don't remember enough of it. I would like to know what his 'take' on my personality and what he thought I might become one day. And I also would have liked ones for 'special occasions' - graduation from high school, wedding day, etc. Not sure if this would be too difficult for him to do - but I can tell you it would be something I would treasure today.

Have a great vacation. Keep in mind that it's not necessarily the length of time that's important - it's the quality.

 

[lucyanna girl]

What a wonderful memory you are making for your family! I just said a prayer for you. Have a great time and know that the memories will be engraved in your childrens hearts forever.

 

[disneygoof]

Safetymom is right that they don't sell the bricks anymore.

I'd recommend the Family Magic Tour. It is two hours of non-stop fun, and is truly magical in that you have a private meet and greet with characters at the end, and ride a ride with them. Memories for a lifetime.

Or you could mix in something you do at home in the Disney atmosphere. I'm thinking of going fishing, or miniature golfing, etc. Or maybe you could try to get one of the private fireworks cruises. They sound amazing.

Or you could keep it simple and just make a big deal out of whatever Dad's favorite ride is, and how special it is for them to share it together. Then whenever the kiddos go back without him, they can ride the ride and remember how special it was to Dad.

Take care, and God bless.

 

[PaulaSue]

Have a Wonderful Time and take a TON of pictures of all of you (get another family to take so you are in) in them.

 

[Simba's Girl]

Perhaps this will help...

My dad passed away last spring. It was sudden and too soon, he was 58. One of my last memories of him was him riding TT with my DD(5) and chuckling away at her screamming her little head off! I will look for his and my mom's Leave a Legacy Tiles at Epcot as well.

Don't try too hard to make it special and force things. Special things happen every day when you least expect them...

Hugs to you and I pray that your DH gets a miracle...

Heather

 

[babytrees]

I agree with Simba's girl....the magical things will happen when you least expect them!

I would plan plenty of down times.....slow things down....stop and smell the flowers!! Find a tour that would interest you all....there are so many to choose from. From what I hear the Family Magic tour is awesome!!

Enjoy your trip to the world and treasure the time you have together!!