What would you do?

[jesusluvsu2005]

We are supposed to leave for Disney on Tuesday the 10th (though we had thought about leaving Monday because it's looking like rain on Tuesday and we'd rather avoid a bunch of rain on the drive). My dad and sister took my mom to the ER tonight with severe gallbladder pain. She's going to have to have surgery and it will probably be Monday or Tuesday. I want to be here with her but I know that the kids were so excited to go on this trip. We're celebrating my graduation and we're celebrating all my kids birthdays especially my daughter's sweet 16 (they were all born in May). This was a spur of the moment trip thanks to a unique offer code of free dining. Now I don't know what to do. What would you all do? Also, we never paid a deposit because we booked so close that we had to just pay it all. How would that work if we had to cancel? We don't have trip insurance. Thanks!

 

[Cupcakesmum]

Sorry to hear about your mom. In terms of WWYD, it's an "if then" situation. I'm not sure how long your drive is but Either way Monday is out of the equation. If her surgery is Monday, stay for the surgery and leave on Tuesday. If her surgery is on Tuesday I would hope to wait and see her after surgery and then leave. Since your mom is home for the next few days I would spend as much time with her as possible, but as long as she's not in a real emergency situation I'd ensure she came out of surgery okay and trust a Dad and sis to hold the fort post-op. I would delay the arrival time but not the trip. If her situation or health became worse I'd reconsider then.

Edited to add: in a case like this my mom would still want me to go. Does yours? That may also factor into decision making.

 

[goopysolelady]

As a mother and grandmother I would be devastated is DD and her family cancelled their celebration trip because of ME. I recently had a surprise hospital stay (complete with a ride on Life Flight ). DH and both DD's arrived at the hospital about 1 1/2 hours after I did. They stayed with me until I was moved from the ER to intensive care and once the decision was made on my care I sent them home. They all had important appointments and/or responsibilities the next day and it was already close to 11 PM. I did NOT want their lives put on hold to stay with me; I had doctors/nurses caring for me and was getting the best possible care. They were NOT happy with me for insisting they leave but I wouldn't have it any other way. While my situation was a bit of an emergency (I needed 3 units of blood to stabilize for surgery), honestly...what could they have done? Your mother knows you love her and will be worried about her during her surgery but she'll be fine. Begin your drive and wait for word that she's in recovery...then start enjoying your celebrations!

 

[cruising spud]

I, too, am a grandmother, and there is no way I would want my daughter and her family to miss a vacation because of surgery. Especially since your dad and sister are there for her. Go and have fun.

 

[Nancyg56]

I am a Mom and a Nana. I would be terribly saddened if my family missed their vacation due to a surgery for me. I cannot tell you what to do, but I wonder if your staying home would make things worse for your Mom. I know my own healing would be impeded under those circumstances.

 

[Mousemommy1]

In the grand scheme of things, gallbladder surgery isn't that serious. (Painful, yes but she has people here for her). My mom would make us go on our trip. You should go.

 

[Wood Nymph]

I am a grandmother, too, and I agree that I wouldn't want my daughter and her family to miss their trip to Disney.

 

[minnie mum]

Another Grandma who thinks you should go. And I agree that, all else being equal, gall bladder surgery isn't that big of a deal. If it makes you feel better, get her blessing on your trip first.

 

[margot31]

My grandmother was supposed to do a mother daughter cruise with 3 of her daughters....she went and broke her hip about 3 months prior. Doc's said she ain't going. So my mother and two of her sisters still went on the cruise. My grandmother didn't want her daughters to not go even if she couldn't go.

 

[RustManFan]

I also would never want any of my family to cancel vacation plans because of me. Discuss it with her and she if she feels the same.

 

[LilyWDW]

I would be going in a heartbeat. Then again, my mom would have smacked me upside the head if I canceled such a trip because of her surgery. It would NOT have been pretty!

 

[loves to dive]

As a mother I agree with everyone else, if my son had something planned and I had to have some sort of surgery, I'd tell him go. Your dad and sis are there to do the immediate care and not to be insensitive but she most likely isn't even going to know you are there the first day anyway. I know any time I've had surgery, and I've had a number of them, that first day I've been in and out and have sent my mom home after the initial surgery because she couldn't do anything anyway. She will need her rest and while there is a certain risk anytime the put you under and take a knife to you, gall bladder is fairly common place.

 

[Hopefully]

As a Mom & Grandmom I agree with the PP. But as a daughter I would want to be near my Mom if she was having surgery. I plan on having many more vacations with my DH & kids, but I don't know how much longer I will have my Mom. She was always there for me, I want to be there if she needs anything.
We here are crazy Disney fans & the responses are exactly what I was expecting. I just see another side to it too.

 

[MinnesotaMouseketeers]

If it is a condition that is treatable and there are others there to take care of your mom while recovering (sounds like there will be), I would go ahead with your vacation.

 

[jenrose66]

We are supposed to leave for Disney on Tuesday the 10th (though we had thought about leaving Monday because it's looking like rain on Tuesday and we'd rather avoid a bunch of rain on the drive). My dad and sister took my mom to the ER tonight with severe gallbladder pain. She's going to have to have surgery and it will probably be Monday or Tuesday. I want to be here with her but I know that the kids were so excited to go on this trip. We're celebrating my graduation and we're celebrating all my kids birthdays especially my daughter's sweet 16 (they were all born in May). This was a spur of the moment trip thanks to a unique offer code of free dining. Now I don't know what to do. What would you all do? Also, we never paid a deposit because we booked so close that we had to just pay it all. How would that work if we had to cancel? We don't have trip insurance. Thanks!

I would still take your trip. I know if it was my mom she wouldn't want my family to miss out on vacation.

 

[patty57]

Go on your trip. Your mom will be fine, and I'll bet she wants you to go.

 

[happymommy]

It's not a life or death situation.

Just go and enjoy! I'm sure she'd want you to do so.

Not like she won't be there when you get back. And, honestly, when I've been recovering from surgery, the last thing I want is folks hovering around me. I'd rather them go off and have fun.

 

[jesusluvsu2005]

Thank you all! I appreciate your input. I did talk to her and she said we needed to go on. I still feel really guilty about it. Her surgery will be Tuesday morning and we are going to have to leave Monday to avoid rain on the way down. Hopefully everything will be fine and her surgery will go great. I always worry. Thank you all again!