What would you do?

[honeywolf7]

Roger and I were discussing housekeeping responsibilities for his house and I said that I would have to learn to be neater than I am. He said that he expects to do everything himself and I said that I didn't agree with that, that he had to expect me to do something. He claims he doesn't but I don't feel that it's right for me to do absolutely nothing. I know plenty of women complain that their husbands/SO's do absolutely nothing around the house but in this case I think he's expecting to do too much. If you were in my position, would you do things around the house just because you feel that it's only right or would you just concentrate on the kids (his and mine) and let him do the housework?

 

[wvjules]

You can't decide on housekeeping duties, how are you guys going to agree on raising your children? Are your kids going ot have different rules than his and vice versa?

I really think you should live togehter for a while before bring kids into the mix. If this doesn't work out, that's one more feeling of "abandonment" your children will have.

 

[honeywolf7]

It's not like we had a fight about it....I kind of acquiesced, but in my heart of hearts I don't think it's really right that he do everything. As far as the kids, we actually totally agree on how to raise them. His kids will be punished more harshly than mine, but then again they are older than mine and the rules will be the same for all of them.

 

[CookieGVB]

If he wants to, let him do it. After a while, I'd talk about the situation and ask "are you SURE you want to do it all?" I have a feeling he'll change his mind once he sees how much work all those people will cause.

His kids will be punished more harshly??? I don't like the sound of that at all...but that's just MHO.

 

[wvjules]

His kids will be punished more harshly than mine,

Cookie is right, I don't like the sound of that either.

I think that's going to make things really rough on his kids and they're gonna end up resenting you, your kids and him for favoring them.

 

[binny]

actually I have this problem too. DH thinks that because I stay home with the kids all day and take care of things then that its his responsibility to do the rest. Of course that isnt how it works but he wouldnt mind it if it were. I get as much done as I can before he gets home but with running around taking kids to appointments etc, there is always something left.

I know I know its a great problem to have

You know what I REALLY appreciate? he is teaching our son that since mommy makes dinner and gets everything ready for them, it is the MENS job to clear the table and do the dishes Isnt that awseome? My DIL is going to to love him for that one

Anyway, in answer to your question, there is always a period of figuring out whose job is whose. I guess we were just more relaxed about it. He picks up where I leave off and vice versa. Why dont you just wait and see and not borrow trouble. There will be plenty of time for that later on.

 

[honeywolf7]

By being punished more harshly, I mean that the punishments for his kids are usually privileges being taken away for a week or so (the ones that live with him full time are 12 and 9.) My kids get time outs (they're only 6 and 3 after all.) My daughter has recently started getting TV privileges taken away from her as well, but it wouldn't mean anything to Bobby to have that taken away from him since he's only three.

 

[KathyTX]

So really, the rules for all the kids are the same, just adjusted for age-appropriateness?

 

[honeywolf7]

That's right, KathyTX.