What would you do?

[LaraK]

First, I apologize in advance if this topic has already been raised (if it has...let me know and I'll sheepishly delete the first post).

What would you do if you heard a child yelling for help and saying that the person dragging her off wasn't her father? What would you do if the man was reprimanding the child like it was their child?

The Today show tested what people would do. It was horrifying to me (as a parent) to see how many people failed to help the child. Then I thought about it....do I make assumptions about children and assume they are being ill-behaved if I see an adult scolding them? I don't know. What would you do?

Here's the video of the Today Show experiment. I wonder if it's as disturbing to you as it was to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7dfkZKjWSo

 

[bellebud]

wow! it definitely brought tears to my eyes when those men DID step in to help. If the girl wasn't yelling "you're not my dad", I wouldn't do anything, as I think is what happened with that woman they singled out (it seemed the girl was just yelling). Definitely eye-opening!

 

[Hannathy]

If the child was truly screaming "he is not my Dad or Father" I would intervene. I would stop and question the person and call for help, especially if they were "dragging" the child away or trying to put the child in a car.


If they were simply disciplining the child I would not interfere unless they were doing definite bodily injury and I don't mean a spanking or a slap or two.

 

[snowywhite89]

If the child was truly screaming "he is not my Dad or Father" I would intervene. I would stop and question the person and call for help, especially if they were "dragging" the child away or trying to put the child in a car.


If they were simply disciplining the child I would not interfere unless they were doing definite bodily injury and I don't mean a spanking or a slap or two.

This is how I would probably do it.

 

[rie'smom]

At Disney World in November I saw a little boy screaming "You're not my daddy!!!!" so I went to see about it. Mom came running- the little boy was her mini me. Turned out the little one was having a meltdown and the man was his father. I ws glad that I checked though.

 

[MiniGirl]

Wow. Some amazing footage. We always tell our children to yell just that -- "You're not my dad!!" .

I also agree with the pp that when the woman walked by the little girl hadn't yet said the "You're not my dad." I think I would've walked by as well. Now, if she said it within hearing, I would've paid more attention. However, like the guy said.... Different responses for different people. I almost always have my young girls with me. How much I would intervene would really depend on how much I could do without jeopardizing their safety and mine, too, quite frankly. After all, if I got injured, what would happen to them?

 

[Tink888]

If the child was truly screaming "he is not my Dad or Father" I would intervene. I would stop and question the person and call for help, especially if they were "dragging" the child away or trying to put the child in a car.


If they were simply disciplining the child I would not interfere unless they were doing definite bodily injury and I don't mean a spanking or a slap or two.

Ditto

 

[bellebud]

At Disney World in November I saw a little boy screaming "You're not my daddy!!!!" so I went to see about it. Mom came running- the little boy was her mini me. Turned out the little one was having a meltdown and the man was his father. I ws glad that I checked though.

I think this may have something to do with it too... we've all heard (funny) stories told by parents that they were disciplining their child and the child starts yelling "you're not my mom!"... I know a few parents this has happened to. Don't know why the kids yell this, but they do sometimes.

 

[Laura24]

It's those moments that take your breath away and makes your heart stop. I had been in Target when I noticed a man walking hand in hand with an adorable blue eyed blonde little boy. Nothing looked out of the ordinary until I heard the man say "so what's your name?"...the child replied Tommy...he then asked "how old are you Tommy?"..."4" Tommy replied....the hair stood up on the back of my neck and I stopped dead in my tracks, turned and followed them. I heard the man say "let's go see if we can find your mommy or daddy"...now at this point I had made up my mind to find an employee as I followed them but no one was around. My next thought was to make sure this man was not going out the doors with this child or I would have done my best to tackle him while screamiing for help. Well..the man took Tommy to customer service with me discreetly following him. Tommy's mommy and daddy were shopping different aisles on the opposite side of the store...each one thinking the other had Tommy. What if this man had not been legitimate and if I had not paid attention. I let the parents know how they could have lost their son that day. Better to be safe and sure than sorry.

 

[Agri]

I'd probably train my hypothetical children to yell "I don't know you" or "Help! This stranger is trying to take me" or something to that effect. I've dealt with so many kids who are smart enough to say "you're not my mom/dad/babysitter and you can't make me go with you - Help!" that I would likely somewhat ignore it, too. (Somewhat in that my first instinct would not be to interfere - I'd watch a bit to figure out what the situation is.)

A child yelling "You're not my ______" is a pretty classic oppositional behavior thing.

 

[golfgal]

I think this may have something to do with it too... we've all heard (funny) stories told by parents that they were disciplining their child and the child starts yelling "you're not my mom!"... I know a few parents this has happened to. Don't know why the kids yell this, but they do sometimes.

When our kids were little this was the thing to do, all the Oprah type shows with 'safety experts' suggested this, but they also suggested you carry a recent FAMILY photo or at least photos of your kids so you had some proof if your kids were just being little stinkers that day.

 

[Ning Ning]

When our kids were little this was the thing to do, all the Oprah type shows with 'safety experts' suggested this, but they also suggested you carry a recent FAMILY photo or at least photos of your kids so you had some proof if your kids were just being little stinkers that day.

I guess that could also help if your little stinker was a niece or nephew that you had charge of! They would be right - you're not their mom, but as their aunt, it might be kind of hard to prove if it got to that point. Almost been there, done that!

 

[horseshowmom]

First, I apologize in advance if this topic has already been raised (if it has...let me know and I'll sheepishly delete the first post).

What would you do if you heard a child yelling for help and saying that the person dragging her off wasn't her father? What would you do if the man was reprimanding the child like it was their child?

The Today show tested what people would do. It was horrifying to me (as a parent) to see how many people failed to help the child. Then I thought about it....do I make assumptions about children and assume they are being ill-behaved if I see an adult scolding them? I don't know. What would you do?

Here's the video of the Today Show experiment. I wonder if it's as disturbing to you as it was to me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7dfkZKjWSo

If I heard a child yelling that the person dragging them was not their parent, I would attempt to intervene. I'd rather that I or the parent be a little embarrassed than what the alternative might be. I think I probably feel very strongly about this due to having been molested as a child (although not by a stranger). I know that it can happen anywhere to anybody at anytime.

 

[rie'smom]

I guess that could also help if your little stinker was a niece or nephew that you had charge of! They would be right - you're not their mom, but as their aunt, it might be kind of hard to prove if it got to that point. Almost been there, done that!

This made me remember what my son did one time. He was visiting his grandmother in Texas and they were shopping at Neiman Marcus. He ducked into a rack of clothes and she couldn't find him for about 30 l o n g seconds. When she heard him giggle, she said "Come out here this minute!" He starts yelling, "Help, help this stranger is trying to take me!" Gloria, my ex MIL, said she was never so embarrassed in her life. The sales ladies were suspicious but she had an old picture. This was back in the late 70s. Bless her heart. she was a sweet woman.

 

[themilesfamily]

I'd call 911 like crazy -- get as much identifying info on the "parent" as I could before they left the scene -- and let the police work it out.

I tend to overreact to unusual situations rather than underreact. My DH is just the opposite -- his response is always to stay out of it. He just luuurrrrves getting into those kinds of situations with me.