What would you do?

[coolshannie]

Well this is a long story within itself so I will try and sum some of it up. There are two sisters who have grown up with me my entire life basically, one of them is a year younger then me and the other sister is three years younger then me. Up to maybe two years ago the oldest sister ( Lets call her Blair ) was someone I considered a good friend, and honestly I don't know why. Her younger sister ( lets call her Claire ) wasn't really close with me until I started driving her to school for rehearsals, after that we were basically best friends, and honestly she is an amazing person, the kind of friend you look for and never find. She's the person who you can tell anything too, will joke around, tell a stupid story, let you vent and cry whatever it doesn't matter she wont judge you. Her sister Blair is the complete opposite and at the point that I was really good friends with Claire, Blair had pretty much not really been my friend for over a year, she was "Best Friends" with another girl and basically not including me ever. Blair is basically the person who won't answer your calls or texts, but when she needs you she'll call you, she wont invite you to a movie, but if nobody else can go you are the first one she'll call, you're her best friend but she's not going to tell you that something is really wrong, she's not the person you can go and tell things too because she really doesn't care, she will just say " I don't know", ignore what you said, or change the subject to something related to her. She basically thinks she is holier then thou. Their family well I have mixed feelings, I love them and I hate them at the same time... they are really nice people, but I always feel like with Blair is around they talk down to me, like I am lesser then her if that makes sense.

Anyways I basically decided that I really didn't want anything more to do with Blair because really she was just poison in my life, why have someone around who just brings you down? The problem is Claire loves her big sister obviously, and of course I would never say anything bad about Blair to her so I can't just write Blair out of my life. Everything is fine with Blair is gone at college, but when she is home it's like i am her BFF again and I need to be there for her every beck and call. If I want to hang out with Clair while Blair is in town, usually that involves hanging out with both of them and it's beyond ridiculous at this point. I can't stand Blair, I don't want to be around her. She's never going to change and I just don't want that attitude in my life.

Well here comes the problem... I need another job for the summer and their family happens to know someone that would interview me for what could be considered a great summer job. I filled out the application and was very grateful to them and thanked them for letting me know. The problem? Blair is going to be working there this summer. I know I should have said I couldn't take it, but the truth is I am horrible with confrontation and I didn't want to seem like I didn't appreciate it, they knew I was looking for more hours for the summer and the job that I have now simply can't provide me with as many hours as Id like when I'm off for a long extended period of time. I just don't know what to do. I could use the job, but I don't want to work with this girl. It's a job that involves standing in the sun for about 8 hours a day, 8 hours a day I could be working with her. What would you do? I really have no idea what I should do. I know I can find another job for the summer if I look hard enough, having a job isn't necessarily the issue, it's would you just keep the job and suck it up, tell them you appreciated the offer but you are going to be unable to accept it, or what? And if you have any ideas as to how I can better keep Blair out of my life, I'd appreciate the advise. I don't know what to do. Claire is such a wonderful friend but I don't want to be around her if Blair is around and I would never say that as I'm not that kind of person, I'm not Blair. Sorry that this is an extremely long rambling. If you can offer any advice I'd appreciate it.

 

[dancer067]

I'm really sorry about that. I can't really offer any advice, because I wouldn't know what to do either. I would take the job. I'd be pleasant to blair, but you don't have to be with her every second of the work day. Hang out with some other employees. Don't completly exclude her though. And maybe she'll cacth the hint that you two aren't bffs, but that doesn't mean you can't be aquaintenses. Otherwise I'm stuck like you. Hope it works out!

 

[coolshannie]

I'm really sorry about that. I can't really offer any advice, because I wouldn't know what to do either. I would take the job. I'd be pleasant to blair, but you don't have to be with her every second of the work day. Hang out with some other employees. Don't completly exclude her though. And maybe she'll cacth the hint that you two aren't bffs, but that doesn't mean you can't be aquaintenses. Otherwise I'm stuck like you. Hope it works out!

Thank's for the advice.

Any other thoughts?

 

[~Serenity~]

Maybe you should be honest with Claire. I'm not saying you should bash her sister or anything, that wouldn't help things at all, but I think you should be honest.
Tell her that her sister hasn't been treating you very nicely and you would rather not be around her so much, but say it delicately.

If you're feeling very brave try talking to Blair, she may not know she's doing what she's doing.
Again, I'm not saying you should confront her and accuse her in a rude or offensive way, just kindly explain your feelings and maybe she'll come around.
I have a friend who sounds a little bit like Blair, she does a lot of the same things and one day I decided to talk to her about it and she had no idea she was even doing it. After that she really worked on it, and asked me to tell her if she started up again.
Though, I don't know Blair, so it's totally your call.

As for the job, I would politely decline.
Just tell them you're very thankful for their help but that you don't think the job is a good fit for you right now. Saying that it's not a good fit for you is the best way, I think, to decline an offer.

I realize this is a bit jumbled but I hope it helps.