What would you do in this situation I'm lost!

[Narnia]

I know I posted before but I'm going to vent. My sister ,cousin and I were planning a dream trip to disney with the little kids( I am leaving 3 kids behind). Then when it came time to book my Sister backed out ok I figured I still have my cousin so I figured it'll still be fun. We have booked I payed in full while my cousin just put the down payment on it. It's now time to book our flights she refuses to tell me when she can book and will always drop the subject.Today I got angry and asked her when exacly she was going to book she gave me the run around then we argued(not really shouting I was just trying to get her to tell me) a bit she hung up but before she did she told me just to book. She left me with an upset tummy and a huge doubt she's going going these are some reasons:
1. she hasn't paid anything other then the down payment,
2. she's on welfare so I know how much she gets and it'll be really though for her to pay it.
3. she's a spender and just mentioned that she got her kids pics done again (3rd time in 2 months)and plans on spending at least $300 on them!
4. she owes me $300 hopefully I get it back.
5. she used to want to plan but hasn't talked about it or read the book she's borrowed and seems to change the subject when brough up.
6 she's planing on going camping and still needs to buy a tent, pay for food ect.
7. she refuses to book a flight which might be because she can't get her money back

I am so upset I'm talking to the TA tomorrow and want to have a back up. How do you deal with this type of thing with a relitive? We had so much planned I even bought her stuff to add to my kids gift basket so that so her's wouldn't feel left out. I also paid for the christmas tickets with my own money hoping to get it back! I need to book the flight soon and was thinking about ADR's should I wait until she say's she isn't going or should I change it now so that I'm not out of resteraunts (hopefully they can change it without losing my adr's). VENT sorry this is just not Disney like

 

[sunnyday123]

honestly, it sounds like she won't be going with you. Enjoy your trip with your kids.

 

[daisy2]

I would book your flight and enjoy your trip with your kids. What i would say to her if she asks this is the flight we are taking and this is when we are coming back if she chooses to go than she can book her flight on the flight your going on. I would not let her ruin your dream trip

 

[zdesiree]

Based on my experience, she won't go. Last time my family went, I planned the trip taking in consideration my sister and her husband. I was doing all the planning and looking for the best rates by myself. Everytime I got a chance to tell my brother in law the status of the trip, he changed the subject. He kept doing this for months and my sister doesn't say anything because he is the one that manages their finances. Until one day he was visiting us and I asked very straight forward "are you guys coming or not, I need to know now because I did the reservations and I need to know where I'm standing with you guys" finally he said no, that he thinks is too expensive $1,500.00 for a two weeks vacation for two in WDW (he is too cheap for my taste).

 

[disykat]

Sorry - I think you answered your own question. She can't afford to go.

 

[mumom95]

I agree with the others, it sounds like she isn't going to go. It is such a bummer when other people let you down.

Hopefully you can enjoy the trip with your kids.

 

[GothTink]

I would book your flight and enjoy your trip with your kids. What i would say to her if she asks this is the flight we are taking and this is when we are coming back if she chooses to go than she can book her flight on the flight your going on. I would not let her ruin your dream trip

 

[okeydokey]

She's not going. If she is on welfare and paying $300 for pictures of her kids, she isn't going to Disney.

 

[Disneychix]

She probably wants you to pay for the airfare.

Also, if she already owes you $300 and she is spending any kind of uneccessary $$ it probably means you will not see that $300 so why have her go on a vacation she can't afford and owe you more $$ that you'll never see?

Sometimes famliy makes no sense. Sorry if this will ruin your chance at a WDW trip! Maybe you can make something work by yourself?

 

[chloe770]

I don't think she's going either. I would just plan your trip like she isn't going and not mention it to her again(she may feel bad because she can"t afford it).If she brings it up to you and does go, great! If not just have fun with oyur family.

 

[DawnM]

I would stop planning and booking NOW!

Do not pay another dime and expect to be paid back. You won't.

Dawn

 

[Rebecca12345]

Looks like you need to face reality (even if she will not)
she can't go.

There are givers and there are takers.
Please do not 'loan' her anymore $$
You are enabling bad behavior.
Practice saying NO to any of her further attempts at
obtaining 'loans'

I would not bring the subject of the trip up again with her.
she can't go

Plan YOUR trip & leave the disappointment out
Move forward & ENJOY your own magic

 

[Whipperwhirl]

How does she afford 300.00, for pictures, on welfare. We are two working adults - 2 kids - and I can barely afford 100.00 a week for groceries. This country I tell ya - where else in the world can you have other people pay for your kids pictures.

 

[daleswife]

Im kinda in the same boat as you. However, my parents decided to pay for the whole trip for EVERYONE in my family. Problem is.....My sister and her dead beat hubby wont have any money to go and I know they will back out at the last minute. Im talking they NEVER have money for anything being as my dead beat brother in law wont work and support his family!!! So I think they will back out and not go. Which dont bother me at all, but I think it will hurt their kids who are going regardless. And if they do go, they will make it heck on everyone there, most of all their kids....they fight over everything. EVERYTHING!!! Its so annoying. little of how bad it is, My nephew has asked to come live with ME!!! makes me soo mad......

Now that ive vented, I dont think she will go either.....sorry to tell you that. but go have fun with your kids....if your going august 15th through the 24th, let me know and we'll make you honorary members of our fam!!!!!

 

[twinspluscade]

Honestly, if I were in your shoes I'd kind of be hoping she DOESN'T go.

I have a feeling if she goes, she will be trying to mooch off you the whole time--for meals, souvenirs, etc. I doubt you'll ever see a penny of the money she borrowed (maybe it's what she used to buy the kids pictures with ), why have her rack up more debt she won't ever pay back?

 

[buckeyebill1995]

I just want to make sure I read that right -- she owes you $300 but is spending $300 on pictures instead of paying you back? And has no problem telling you that?! That takes nerve!

 

[cntrygal]

If she can afford $300 for pictures while on welfare, she is propbably guilty of welfare fraud. THey keep track of every penny you have, no way can she ofr should she go, enjoy your own trip

 

[Merriwind]

I think that someone who needs welfare to pay for life's basics has no business planning a WDW trip, or getting $300 professional photos!

OP, the fact that she's spending money on a luxury like photos without any thought of paying you back says a lot. Hope you can find a way to go without her. I suspect that you'll wind up paying for a lot if she goes.

 

[Belle1962]

I see several options--the first and foremost being--plan YOUR trip with your kids and just don't mention it to her again. If she brings it up last minute, tell her your plans and then give her the information she needs to make plans for her family.

However--do her kids know this was in the planning? It would sure *** for them to be looking forward to the trip and now not be able to go. Maybe the trip can be saved?

What are the ages of the kids involved? Would you consider taking them all by yourself? That way if you end up footing the bill without any reimbursement you at least feel better about doing it for the kids. Are there other relatives who may be able to help with the cost for the kids? You said you were leaving 3 kids behind--are they perhaps older and could help you with the younger ones? I would rather take the kids and a helper by myself then to be constantly fending off feelings of being "used" or such by her--she can stay home.

Whatever you decide hugs to you and your family. I know you will have a great trip--even if it is with just your family.

 

[kitsch4]

I just want to make sure I read that right -- she owes you $300 but is spending $300 on pictures instead of paying you back? And has no problem telling you that?! That takes nerve!

This is exactly what I was thinking! I also agree with Merriwind. A trip to Disney is a luxury, and many people can't afford to do this. Someone on welfare is probably struggling to provide the necessities for their family. Is your cousin embarrassed to admit that she cannot afford to go? She may also be a bit jealous that you can afford to go and she cannot. It sounds like you and she were really excited to make the plans, but then reality hit and she knows she can't swing it. Can you sit down with her and talk calmly and give her an out? It really looks like she won't be going, and I'm sure you have already figured that out. As the other posters have pointed out, if she did go, you will probably be paying for everything. I hope you are still able to go!