What would you do??? Advice please.(Long)

[DWDreams]

Ignore it, you left it at an apology and tried to invite them to get together since then. If they can't look beyond a small disagreement, then you are both better off without them affecting your lives. I'm sorry, but this "V" seems pretty toxic to me and likely doesn't do much other than pollute everything she goes near. People like that are eventually found out when they run out of victims and have to look at their closer circle to assault. It's hard to feel someone you love is alienated from friends when you feel responsible, even undeservingly so, but it sound like your DF realizes what the deal is and stuck up for you also.

You guys sound young, or I presume since setting out on marriage, and I can tell you from my experiences that with marriage and kids your time will become a precious commodity that shouldn't be wasted on those undeserving of it.

 

[momof2inPA]

Find new friends. If the other guys really liked your fiance', they would keep in contact no matter what you or the other wives did or said.

 

[doxdogy]

You apologized and she doesn't want to move past it. So take your DF's advice and move on.

 

[Saphire]

I don't know what to do. What would you do???

Even IF you got past this recent incident, it would only mark the beginning of future incidents which would prove again what kind of character this woman (and the entourage) has. Run far away and fast, with your supportive DF. I would begin to look for new friends, and remind myself that there really are good, loyal, mature and fun loving people who would like to get to know me and DF.

 

[iggbees]

wow, those people sound like they sure need to grow up. it's like high school all over again.

my "best friends" in high school (who i was very close with with for at least 5 years) told me that they were too mature for me and couldn't hang out with me anymore. um, yeah, why would i want to hang out with someone who didn't want to hang out with me. i know it hurts, it still hurts because i had a lot of good times with them, but i went to college, met people who wanted to be my friend and who liked me for who i was.

meet some new people at work, get to know them, because i'm sure that they would be more worth your time. good luck.

 

[lbgraves]

I agree with everyone who has said let them go. It wont be easy & but it will be easier than wondering when the next thing will set them off. It sounds like their routine. It sounds like you & DF will have to do some rethinking for your wedding. He doesn't owe any of them a place in the wedding party just because he was in their wedding.

 

[Fishbone†]

It sounds like you & DF will have to do some rethinking for your wedding. QUOTE]

It's funny you should say that, because just last night DF asked me how many of the girls I had asked because he thinks he'd rather not have "best friend" anymore. I had asked them all, but it really doesn't matter because I have a brother that we were going to have as an usher, so DF will just ask him instead.

I guess you guys are right - it's just that they're his friends and I feel so bad that they are treating him like this. Although, if it's any consolation, his mom can't stand the one couple (V and best friend), and has repeatedly asked why he keeps him (them) as friends each and every time we run into this sort of thing.

 

[RadioNate]

I guess you guys are right - it's just that they're his friends and I feel so bad that they are treating him like this. Although, if it's any consolation, his mom can't stand the one couple (V and best friend), and has repeatedly asked why he keeps him (them) as friends each and every time we run into this sort of thing.

See that's the thing though. They AREN'T his friends. If they were his friends they wouldn't treat him this way. If this guy was really interested in maintaining the friendship he would. They would work it out. The others too would continue to socialize with your DF.

It is hard and sad but I think everyone here has been at the point where they realize that a friendship means more to them than it does to the other person. I know it was a hard lesson for me to learn but it does help you realize who your real friends are.

 

[horseshowmom]

It sounds like you & DF will have to do some rethinking for your wedding. QUOTE]

Although, if it's any consolation, his mom can't stand the one couple (V and best friend), and has repeatedly asked why he keeps him (them) as friends each and every time we run into this sort of thing.

See, it's not just you and him who see it. His mom is a pretty good indicator that this isn't some imagined slight (which it certainly isn't as blatant as it is).

I agree with the others who say run, don't walk, away from these childish people.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I wonder if its the "idea" of friendship you and your fiance are missing and not the friendship in itself.

As others stated you need to let go and realize that true friends would NEVER treat you both this way. Plus true friends would not allow others to treat you badly no matter the reason.

Mourn the loss if you need to but be glad that you won't have to participate in the drama anymore.