what would u do???

[buzz for boys]

About 3 months ago I fell out with a fellow mom at the school cutting a long story short I helped her loads when she needed someone and considered us to be best friends but when I needed a shoulder she ran a mile in the opposite direction and then started a facebook barrage of abuse.
This has got worse and worse on the school playground with people making alliances to each of us to the point of stupidity. But because of all of this im dreading taking my kids back to school tomorrow and id love to say that I thought it had all died down with the xmas break but ive had several texts today that suggest otherwise.
My m8 suggested today that to save the stress that brings me everyday I should move the kids to a different school Would you do this if you were me ??
The boys are settled and happy and we finally have all cams needs sorted out and the school are fab with him but then on the other hand im not sure how much longer I can take this petty behaviour for.
Advice welcomed
Louise x

 

[Muscateer]

I feel for you and you are going through enough without all this stupid playground behaviour from a supposedly adult and makes it worse when she was supposed to be your friend.

Would be a bit drastic changing the kids schools, that is a major upheaval for them. Starting new schools can be very stressful and since Cam is happy at his school, would be a shame to upset the cart.

Anyway I don't have any set advice but hope you can get something sorted out soon.

 

[silver apple]

Firsty, I'm sorry that you are being faced with with this horrible bullying behaviour

I don't think that you should move schools as the children are settled, though I can see why you would want to. I think you need to treat her like the bully she is and ignore her and don't get drawn into any discussions about it with the other mums about it as this will give your ex-friend the satisfaction of seeing this and your upset continue.

Is there anyway that your dh can do the school run occaisionally? if not i would probably drop-off and pick-up as late as I could to avoid waiting around in the palyground.

Hopefully things will settle soon x

 

[natalielongstaff]

there is no way i would change my kids school because of the playground mafia !!

just ignore them.

 

[buzz for boys]

Playground mafia Love it !!!

Ive not retailted once trust me in my head I have a milion times and Ive not discussed the fall out with any of the idiots that come to talk to me as quite honestly its none of their buisness but still this wont go away.
Im tempted to try and make the peace with my 'friend' just so all this goes away but I'm not 100% sure I can be that fake and im still very hurt by all this - if you treat friends like this what the hell do you do to someone who has really upset you???
The school say I should phone the police for the cyber bullying but that seems like ive dropped to their level!!
Im such an idiot as part of me actually misses my friend terribly - not sure how I can say that after 3 months of hell
I know what you are all saying about not moving the boys but will this ever die down if i dont ???
is it time to play nasty like them to put all this to bed??

 

[joolz1910]

I would definitely not move the boys to a different school. I think some women feed off this sort of drama and seek to perpetuate it by stirring the pot. Why do all these other mums keep texting you? What good does that do? I wouldn't reply to these texts. Make an excuse that you are getting a new phone / your phone is broken / you have no credit.

I think it might also be time to clear the air with your ex-friend. She must have been a good friend once or you wouldn't miss her so much now. I know what she has done, and maybe that means that you can't go back to the way you were, but you might be able to put a stop to this animosity. What have you got to lose?

 

[scottish mum]

I wouldn't change the boys school, if they are happy leave them there. As for your "friend" try your hardest to ignore and try not to let her see you getting upset by it all. If she thinks its not hurting you chances are it may all stop. Try and keep your head held high when at school and then come home and get upset or coem on here as we are all here for you

 

[darthtatty]

Im sorry to hear of the trouble youre having.
life at my sons school is no fun and i hate going there everyday.
its mainly to do with the school and not with parents, though i have had some run ins with a few parents.
i would never take my son out of a school where he is happy due to one person. what if you moved all your children and non of them were happy or you had similar problems?
I would never stoop to her level or try to fake peace.
have you blocked her via Facebook? you can block people so they never see you on there, even if you have mutual friends.
youve done the right thing by not talking about the situation to others at the school who try to talk to you-theyre probably only going to report back to her.
i would tell the people that text you about her that youre not interested. youve have far more important things to think of.... Disney
you really should report the cyberbullying to the police-they take it seriously these days. it is not dropping to her level

are there any other parents that youre close friends with? always look happy and like youre having a laugh. dont let the bully win!!

we're all here for you when you need to moan.
good luck.xxx

 

[Joanne UK]

I would grimace and ask your former friend if she would like to go for coffee one morning and hopefully smooth things over and clear the air.

I know it would be hard to be nice to her but maybe you could just fake it enough to take the animosity away but obviously things would never get back to how they were before. I had a bad experience with another mum when my eldest was at pre-school and I actually felt physically sick walking her in knowing that I was going to see this other woman, I do know how you're feeling but def wouldn't uproot your boys. Front it out and it will die down eventually.

 

[PoppyAnna]

It's awful living with things like this going on, as if you haven't already got enough on your plate. Try your best to ignore them, it tends to be a bully's worst nightmare.

there is no way i would change my kids school because of the playground mafia !!

just ignore them.

We have a playground mafia too, I don't know what it is that brings this behaviour out in (mainly) women.
Moving schools seems very drastic action to take if your children are settled and happy there, just keep thinking of them

 

[Pegasus928]

If someone treat me the way you have been treated by this person then I am sorry but they would always be a 'former friend' as I wouldn't be able to ever trust them again.

It must be so hard seeing her everyday during the school run but try to ignore her and don't let her win by getting you down. You have shown constantly what a truely strong person you are so remove her as a friend on FB, get yourself a new sim card for your mobile and move on without her. Stay strong Louise

Mrs Pegasus

 

[buzz for boys]

I am blocked from seeing her facebook page but for some reason because she has blocked me I cant block her ??? when i put her name in she doesnt appear on a list as im blocked on her page iykwim so I cant stop her accessing my page and being able to send messages and i refuse to close my account down because of her.

Today as feared noone had forgotten and everyone was out in a renewed force - apparently she feels like she is living the role of single white female and im trying to steal her idientity and use her story for sympathy ?? errr hello firstly shes 3 stone heavier than me, god wasnt exactl kind in the looks dept and she lost her son so i think im quite happy being me thanks !!!!
The new piece of nastiness has been started because Cam didnt have his operation as planned so therefore im a lier and never was a operation!! oh ok maybe just you dont have any clue whats happening anymore *** I choose not to tell you you stupid cows !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Im so upset by this and cant believe the difference that just one day having to face this abuse has caused again.
The school said they wont let us leave because of this and consider whats best for the boys but I feel like im pushed over the dge by all this and surely thats not whats best for the kids either??? Just wish I knew how to make it stop !!
Oh and ive never replied to texts or messages from anyone at the school throughout this whole saga as i believe the second i do its going to escalate - not sure how much further it can go though

 

[joolz1910]

I feel so sorry for you. It sounds awful. If you don't respond to texts or indulge in any tit-for-tat, then you are doing everything right imho. If she is being abusive on Facebook, then I would report her for cyberbullying. What a shame that women behave like this.

Could you afford to put your kids in a breakfast or after school club for a while? Is there a friend who could do the school run for you or with you, for additional support?

 

[mickeyforpresident]

This is just dreadful. I hope that an understanding that this type of awful parental behaviour goes on in probably every primary school in the country! Im a Headteacher of one and I often choose to go out in the playground and talk to the playground mafia to give some other parents a rest - honestly they are worse then the kids!

I think the idea of breakfast club is a good idea as is the police for teh cyber bullying. I might consider changing your moby number and reporting the abuse to facebook.

I have, on occasion, agreed to allow a parent to drop off a child 10 mins earlier to help parents stop bumping into each other - but this causes some trouble for the school as then we're seen to be taking sides!!!

I think you have to understand that its not your fault and you must try to not sink to their level!!!!

 

[fizz13]

I am so so sorry your life is being affected like this, I have decided recently that facebook is a source for evil a lot of the time. No good advice day to day but i wanted to say have a look at your privacy settings again, there is a way so you never appear in a search and only friends can message you/contact you, in effect you can dissapear from certain people.

big big hugs to you hun, dont let this woman have the satisfaction. If you arent in the mood to deal with them maybe take an ipod with you? works for me when I cant be bothered with the chit chat

let us know what happens, and all here when you need to vent

 

[darthtatty]

I am blocked from seeing her facebook page but for some reason because she has blocked me I cant block her ??? when i put her name in she doesnt appear on a list as im blocked on her page iykwim so I cant stop her accessing my page and being able to send messages and i refuse to close my account down because of her.

oh i know what you mean. do you know her email address? you could try to add that to the blocked section.
Im sure if you contact facebook they might be able to help.
I make sure all my settings say that only friends can view my page and pictures.

such a shame that there are people like that in this world, they should be ashamed.
I dont blame you for not telling them the recent updates on Cam.
can you get any others to support you for a while, take some of the pressure off.xxx

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

I don't really know what advice to give as I haven't experienced any of this (yet) at DD's school, but please don't move your boys from school if they are happy there, she will think she has won if you do that.

 

[Tinks1984]

I cannot believe this is still happening Louise How terrible that you have to feel like this when you're taking your children to school.

I cannot for the life of me wonder why this woman is thinking you're making such things up, as if you'd do that with regards to your own son. As if you want this for Cameron! Just because she's still grieving for the loss of her child, that gives her no right to continue to ridicule you like this.

Is there anyone who could maybe go into the school with you and vouch for these things happening and maybe then the school could have a word with certain people? With regards to the Facebook problem, if you have her name or e-mail address, then I'd contact them directly and ask could this person be blocked from seeing any part of my page.

It's a terrible thing you're having to go through and this is just something which is not needed. You all have enough stress and upset within your own lives, never mind others chipping their unwanted and disrespectful opinions.

Many, many hugs for you guys

 

[buzz for boys]

right ive been in contact with facebook and they said they would block my account from here - ive also deleted all mutual 'friends' from my page so noone can feed her info anymore.I now have more of you guys on my friends list than people ive met My sil looked her facebook page up and im disgusted to see that her niece(fellow mom at the school) who is a nurse who has cared for Cam is also part of this witch hunt this now means ive got to get the hospital involved and request zero info to her too - cant believe that a nurse can be part of this ????

Im totally amazed how someone who i gave my heart and soul too can turn so quickly - pretty poor judge of character me obviously !!

As for the school they have seen the fb comments so i dont need anyone to back me up and Im confident that as she works in the school they will act on this but just not sure how!!

Thanks guys for listening x x x

 

[joolz1910]

I'm pretty certain that a nurse should never discuss a patient as it breaches every code of conduct imaginable. Definitely report her.

Does the ex-friend work at the school? If so, the school should act as she represents the school and should be acting professionally.

What were the fb comments? I thought she was basically accusing you of over-reacting to Cam's condition? This in itself is very hurtful and spiteful, but did she add to this? I am wondering whether fb would limit her account if her comments were deemed to be bullying?