What type of wedding gifts would you prefer to receive?

[off to neverland]

A little debate going on here........

As the wedding couple, would you rather receive money, a piece of artwork picked out by the giver, or something off your registry?

We are buying a gift for a neice we haven't seen in a very long time. I think money is the way to go, but DH wants to pick artwork out for her, even though we've never been in her house! He thinks it will be something she could always remember us by, because even though we haven't seen her in a long time, she is very special to him and he thinks money is too impersonal.......

Would love some input from all you brides-to-be! What would be the perfect gift?

 

[ItGirl753]

I usually go off the registry since they've picked what they wanted already, but if your DH was very close to her then I think something very personal would be great! I am very sentimental. Just my opinion

 

[Error_kitten]

Personaly I would prefer money or off my reg.
Only because well.. I would find it more useful.
IE for my birthday my FMIL Bought me a necklace and earing set. she got it because it had purple (I love purple) and well... It just wasnt me.
So even if you think they might like it they might not...
Its probly better off to get somthing practical
Or buy them an xbox 360
Thats what we asked for on onr of our regs hehehehe

 

[rosiejo]

Does your niece have a gift registry? If yes then I'd say definitely buy something from the list... if not then the personal gift is a nice idea... could your DH take his niece shopping and let her pick out the artwork?

 

[ducklovr]

Money. Our wedding and honeymoon is at Disney so any extra money for Disney stuff is always needed. hehe

 

[off to neverland]

Okay, so here's the deal. I guess I need to come clean about this whole situation. The wedding has already happened, and I am feeling terrible about the whole gift thing.

Some background: DH and his sister, haven't seen the bride in 12 years. I have some issues with DH's sister (my SIL) because I feel she takes over and DH never stands up to her for me or himself.

So in preparation for the wedding DH and I had decided to give money as our gift, as her registry didn't really have any big items left. We had a discussion about it and decided she could use the money for her honeymoon, something big, etc.

So two days before the wedding SIL calls DH with this grand plan that we should go in together on a piece of artwork. She didn't have anyting in particular in mind; she would do the shopping and find it. Though I didn't hear the conversation, I'm pretty sure she told him money was impersonal and persuaded him that was a bad idea. Her reasoning for the artwork was that it would be something special that the bride would always remember them by and would have forever.

DH called me to tell me of her proposal, and I told him I was VERY against this. One reason being that SIL gave US a piece of artwork for our wedding, and not only is it something we would have never picked out ourselves, but also she doesn't remember giving it to us (I showed it to her several years ago and she didn't remember it) but also DH has NO idea or recollection who gave us what. So it was never the super special thing she intended, probaly because it wasn't something any of us particularly loved.

Just because something costs a lot of money, doesn't make it special!

I also was against it because SIL hasn't been in the bride's home in the past 12 years, (so she has NO CLUE of her taste) and is also 22 years older than the bride, who registered at Pottery Barn, so she has that more contemporary taste that I don't think SIL is aware of.

I flat out told DH I didn't think it was a good idea, and I recommened that if perhaps if he had changed his mind about giving money (because of SIL's negative comments) and wanted to give something more personal, we could figure something out together.

But instead, against my wishes, he called her and said yes.

I was furious.

What really burns me is......... Not only did she spend $100 more than what we told her the budget was, we never even saw the art, or the wrapping or anything. So how is that a special gift???

And she had her daughter sign the card too, though she contributed nothing financially and we now owe SIL $100 more than we told her we wanted to spend! GRRRRRR....

I am furious right now over this, and much of it has to do with past history with her and DH's inability to say no to her.

Just venting, hope you all don't mind...............

 

[Error_kitten]

Oh my goodness!!!!!!
You have every reason to be furious.
I would be as well.
Im a take charge person, so personaly i would call that evil woman and give her a pice of my mind.
And also have a dicussion with your DH and tell him how you feel his sister treats him.
he will ofcourse be defencive but maybe you can open his eyes.

 

[BrideToBe82]

Ugh I would also be furious!! You should talk to your DH about how this made you feel.

 

[twojo21]

in our family & with our friends its typical to receive a gift of your registry for the wedding shower & cash or check on the wedding day with a card. which is also what i received & preferred.

 

[Moonpie]

There's no way to know if they will like the art work that you give them. That's a very personal choice that they should make to decorate their own home.

 

[lizziepooh]

I think the real issue here is your husband not standing his ground with his sister and apparently going against your wishes on selecting a gift. You really need to come to some sort of an agreement with him on how these issues will be dealt with in the future. If he gave her a clear dollar amount and she went over that, he could suggest that she or her daughter pay the extra $100. Since it is his sister, it really needs to come from him and not you. Otherwise, consider it a lesson learned and make sure DH knows you do not want to go in on anything again with his sister.

I personally think spending a bunch of money on artwork for someone else isn't the best idea. What makes sister think she will have it "forever"? People get rid of things they don't like all the time. Just look at Ebay or go to a few yard sales!

 

[hmgolden]

I'm sorry your DH did that to you! That was really unfair of him, and his sister.

Cash was our perferred wedding gift. We used all the cash we got as wedding gifts and put it towards the down payment on our condo. Anything off our registry was also fine, but in my family, registry gifts are usually for the shower, and money is given at the wedding.

In DH's family however, they find registering to be rude and presumptuious. So, we got a bunch of gifts from his side of the family that we didn't want and can't use (my personal favorite is the table cloth that doesn't fit the table we own...) that are sitting in a box in the back of our bg closet waiting for a garage sale.....

 

[JJClemson]

That is a tough situation!

I would definitely prefer cash. As other brides have said, in my family, it's registry gifts at the shower, and money at the wedding. However, DF's family does not believe in giving cash b/c they find it impersonal. I am nervous to see what they will give us at the wedding, b/c I am sure my family will buy everything off our registry beforehand.

 

[jojoandhb]

I just wanted to say that one Christmas my brother gave me a piece of artwork. I wasn't expecting that and hadn't asked for it, but I love it, and it's hanging on my wall. It wasn't even something I would have picked for myself if I had been buying artwork, but it was really unique and thoughtful. Looking at it, I can see the thought he put into it. It's something still special to me.
I know it wasn't what you were wanting to give, but I bet it's something really nice. Plus, it's memorable, and she'll have it for a long time. I've had the one my brother gave me for 9 years now.

 

[Deesknee]

How about a picture frame with perhaps a picture of your DH & his neice in it as well as money. I once saw a picture frame given with money as the picture, but a real picture of the bride with the giver of the gift attatched.

 

[disneybridetobe]

I would be miffed, too! Our preferred gift is DEFINITELY CASH!! We registered for the experience of doing it, but only registered for items we REALLY want/need. I think I probably would be upset if we got a piece of artwork I didn't see first!


Error Kitten- we also registered for an xbox360! I doubt we'll get it, but hey, it's worth a shot! (I'll never see my husband for about a year, but I accept that risk. LOL.)