what to do

[Faith09]

Thanks for the comments.

Clarification
Ebony has three children:
11year old girl
5 year old WHICH IS MY NIECE
1 year old son
Three different fathers

Last year I was able to afford to take the 11 year old this year I cant. I told Ebony right up front. I've already paid for the 5 year old at least she could pay for the 11 year old. The 11 year old grandmother offered to split the difference with mom. If they pay I will take her. I CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY FOR BOTH CHILDREN.

I'm sorry but I will not keep my niece for enjoying vacation with my family just because the other two children don't take or take summer vacations. The other two get's to visit with their father every other weekend and my niece doesn't. I'm not blaming anyone I just stating facts. We need/want this time to bond with my niece. If the mom/grandmother can pay for the 11 year old we wouldn't hesitate to take her. If not then she has to stay home. I have told mom and grandmother I CANT AFFORD TO pay for my son, niece, and myself and the 11 year old.

 

[Belle5]

Thanks for the comments.

Clarification
Ebony has three children:
11year old girl
5 year old WHICH IS MY NIECE
1 year old son
Three different fathers

Last year I was able to afford to take the 11 year old this year I cant. I told Ebony right up front. I've already paid for the 5 year old at least she could pay for the 11 year old. The 11 year old grandmother offered to split the difference with mom. If they pay I will take her. I CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY FOR BOTH CHILDREN.

I'm sorry but I will not keep my niece for enjoying vacation with my family just because the other two children don't take or take summer vacations. The other two get's to visit with their father every other weekend and my niece doesn't. I'm not blaming anyone I just stating facts. We need/want this time to bond with my niece. If the mom/grandmother can pay for the 11 year old we wouldn't hesitate to take her. If not then she has to stay home. I have told mom and grandmother I CANT AFFORD TO pay for my son, niece, and myself and the 11 year old.

Your additional information really does make your viewpoint much clearer, IMO. When you said the other children get to see their fathers and your five year old niece doesn't, I understood so much better why you're looking at it the way you do.

 

[Faith09]

I am very sorry about the loss of your brother.For the five year old's sake, somebody needs to really see and reach out to that eleven year old and let her know she belongs.

I personally don't see this happen. The 11 year old uncle takes her outings at times and she just return from Washington DC, which the 5 year old stay at home.

 

[Faith09]

Your additional information really does make your viewpoint much clearer, IMO. When you said the other children get to see their fathers and your five year old niece doesn't, I understood so much better why you're looking at it the way you do.

Thanks I'm in tearing up trying to justify my actions or reasons. I truly love the 11 year old but there's going to be times that she cant join us.

 

[micheleq]

No need to tear up! You obviously have a big heart and want to do all that you possibly can! I think it is wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your niece and that your family makes the effort to maintain that despite the loss of your brother (for which I am very sorry).

As you said, the 11 year old's family takes her places w/o your niece and their baby brother. The children will learn that they have a common family (their mother's) and they each have their own special families with their fathers.

I hope it works out so you can take the 11 year old this time. In the future, you'll just have to be specific and tell their mom you are only taking your niece on vacations. And there is nothing wrong with that hugs to you!

 

[Faith09]

No need to tear up! You obviously have a big heart and want to do all that you possibly can! I think it is wonderful that you have such a great relationship with your niece and that your family makes the effort to maintain that despite the loss of your brother (for which I am very sorry).

As you said, the 11 year old's family takes her places w/o your niece and their baby brother. The children will learn that they have a common family (their mother's) and they each have their own special families with their fathers.

I hope it works out so you can take the 11 year old this time. In the future, you'll just have to be specific and tell their mom you are only taking your niece on vacations. And there is nothing wrong with that hugs to you!

Thank you.. Lesson learn if my money is short, don'ttell anyone about a trip until the week or day of. Ebony never object to when I get my niece. My niece been my baby every since the day she was born. Born a preemie the second day she arrive home, she stayed with me for a week so mom could rest. It was a difficult pregancy for her. I love Mom as well. I'm thankful and blessed.