What to do with the money?

[bluejasmine]

Give the money back to your Ex Husband. He earned it and according to your post you have earned your own retirement . I am sure that your attourney has earned his fee. I am also sure that I will get some heat from this post.
But hey whats right is right. If you were a stay at home Mom that would be a different story.You chose your profession and the pay that comes with it.
Give the money back and you will feel good about it for the rest of your life.

I don't think that's right at all, you have no idea how long they were married & what the OP went through. Besides that by law it's partly hers, or the courts would not have awarded it to her!

OP like I said previously while u have the extra I'd fix up the house it will save you in the long run, besides that those items will only increase in price.

Having been divorced myself I say CONGRATS! I don't know about you but I left the courthouse happier! Lol

ASMU/POR Dec 16-22, 2012 & POFQ Sept 8-15, 2013

 

[Lisa71]

Put it in an IRA and slowly as you can convert part to a Roth IRA (you pay tax on what you convert) so you can always take the money our easier later. We had to take a an account out early once and regret not having it.

 

[searlproudbottom]

To bluejasmine & pearlieq

First of all I want to thank you both for your reply to my post. Your responses were both dignified and thoughtful. I am not used to responses as to yours, "Intelligent” and not just attacking. Attacking without thought seems to me is par for the course on this website.

It is clear, I do not know nor does anyone of the settlement of the ops divorce. I can only reply to the statements that the op has made.

My Favorite Declaration

I take you, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

 

[Minnie_me]

Give the money back to your Ex Husband. He earned it and according to your post you have earned your own retirement . I am sure that your attourney has earned his fee. I am also sure that I will get some heat from this post.
But hey whats right is right. If you were a stay at home Mom that would be a different story.You chose your profession and the pay that comes with it.
Give the money back and you will feel good about it for the rest of your life.

I don't think you meant to, but you just gave me the biggest laugh I've had all week.

NOT flaming you, I know that *tone* is difficult to discern in a post, but here goes: until you've walked in my shoes, don't even begin to give me your opinions about my marriage and divorce.

I did indeed work in my own career during our almost 15-year marriage, and a good chunk of my income went to helping my husband pay off his student loans, along with country club membership (for him, not for the family) and all of his golf expenses, his cars and his other "toys". I did EVERYTHING in the marriage. I raised the children, I did all of the household chores by myself, while he lived the same life he lived when we were single -- golfing and hanging out with his buddies watching sports.

And the day he literally walked out of our lives (sent me an email while I was work saying, "I moved out this morning"), he also left me with a house I couldn't afford, bills that hadn't been paid, and $25,000 in debt. We split the debt when we separated. I paid my half off in 18 months. He has doubled his.

I'm entitled to that half of his retirement fund. It was going to spent on our retirement, and now I'm going to use it on my own.

 

[Minnie_me]

My Favorite Declaration

I take you, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

That's all well and good, but it doesn't do much good when your husband just walks out. It takes two.

 

[EagleScout]

That's all well and good, but it doesn't do much good when your husband just walks out. It takes two.

Back to original question, I echo sentiment of rolling over into IRA, due to tax penalty as well as money being taxed at current income level rather than (presumably) lower rate at retirement time. Also echo giving serious consideration to selling nhouse and either renting (first preference) or buying something lower maintenance (which is relative - there is NO SUCH THING as truly low maintenance house). You likely bought something right away to try to give some stability to your (or your kids') lives, which is understandable, but maybe not the best choice.

And on this side topic, I have no idea of specifics of your situation, so would not presume to comment on what is "fair"- and it sounds like your situation might be one where even the "fair" thing was to give you more. The fact is, the court said you get the funds, and any attempt to redo the deal after the fact may cause more troublr than it solves, including both you and your ex having to pay more lawyers. (Spoken as a lawyer - not a divorce lawyer).

 

[Sagginit]

I'm entitled to that half of his retirement fund. It was going to spent on our retirement, and now I'm going to use it on my own.

you go girl! my mother went thru a very messy divorce last year from my stepfather. it was very lopsided financially and what people did not understand is how the finances worked. to make a long story short he spent a ton of money, ran them into debt, and had her paying for a lot of home improvements etc while she thought he was saving for the future. she ended up leaving for other reasons as well but she is still entitled to his pension which others have something to say about. quite frankly she would have been better off financially w/o marrying him and saving on her own, so its not much of a consolation prize.

i say roll it over. i can tell you from her experience with him who cashed out his 401K continually for a few years, that you lose a lot of that money to taxes and it is not worth it unless you are desperate for the money.

 

[bluejasmine]

Yes I agree you GO GIRL! Im so sorry to hear about what you went through, I know JUST how you feel! Really I do!