bajanswife
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2004
My 3 yo DD is doing stuff lately that is really bothering me, and I'm not sure what to do. She is generally quite a sweet, compliant girl, but with a bit of a "drama queen" mentality at times! I can handle that - gets on my nerves, but I can handle it.
What I'm not so sure about is her tendency to strike out at her siblings occasionally - and strike out HARD! Her older brother (5) gets to do everything first; her younger sister (2) is still very babyish, and because of that might have certain allowances made for her. DD (3) is the typical middle child. Yesterday she hit her sis hard with a shoe - left a purple bruise next to her eye. This morning she bit her so hard it bruised terribly. I'm not even sure what provokes these outbursts. This girls can play so nicely together for so long, then without real provocation DD 3 will hurt her sister. I'm sure in her little mind she has a reason for doing it - it just doesn't seem like much of a reason to me. This morning it was because DD2 was sitting on our nanny's knee and DD3 was jealous I guess. Yesterday she also drew with pen on a dining room chair cushion - the same chair they are not allowed to sit on to eat or paint/draw unless there is a towel under their butt to protect the chair cushion (we get mold growing easily on the cushions, and I'm trying to avoid having anything spill on them). i.e. she knows how we protect the chairs, yet she chose to take the cover off of one and draw under it! Cry for attention?
So, do we get tough with DD3 when she does these things (especially hurting her siblings), or do we pile on more attention (positive attention later, not attention at the time of the incident)? Not sure which tack to take here. She's a sensitive girl, and I'm worried that getting really tough with her will hurt her deeply. We have not had to punish her much so far because we have found that reasoning, positive reinforcement and logical consequences are all she has really needed to keep her on the right path. Until now.
Anyone been through this with a sensitive child who was acting out in a big way from time to time? What worked?
What I'm not so sure about is her tendency to strike out at her siblings occasionally - and strike out HARD! Her older brother (5) gets to do everything first; her younger sister (2) is still very babyish, and because of that might have certain allowances made for her. DD (3) is the typical middle child. Yesterday she hit her sis hard with a shoe - left a purple bruise next to her eye. This morning she bit her so hard it bruised terribly. I'm not even sure what provokes these outbursts. This girls can play so nicely together for so long, then without real provocation DD 3 will hurt her sister. I'm sure in her little mind she has a reason for doing it - it just doesn't seem like much of a reason to me. This morning it was because DD2 was sitting on our nanny's knee and DD3 was jealous I guess. Yesterday she also drew with pen on a dining room chair cushion - the same chair they are not allowed to sit on to eat or paint/draw unless there is a towel under their butt to protect the chair cushion (we get mold growing easily on the cushions, and I'm trying to avoid having anything spill on them). i.e. she knows how we protect the chairs, yet she chose to take the cover off of one and draw under it! Cry for attention?
So, do we get tough with DD3 when she does these things (especially hurting her siblings), or do we pile on more attention (positive attention later, not attention at the time of the incident)? Not sure which tack to take here. She's a sensitive girl, and I'm worried that getting really tough with her will hurt her deeply. We have not had to punish her much so far because we have found that reasoning, positive reinforcement and logical consequences are all she has really needed to keep her on the right path. Until now.
Anyone been through this with a sensitive child who was acting out in a big way from time to time? What worked?