What to do angry

[twooley2]

remove

 

[Luv2trav]

To be honest I am not real sure I would want my 12 year going that far from home either. Nothing against you and I would certainly appreciate the offer but I would be somewhat uncomfortable. Plus maybe they do not have the extra money to send with her. I wouldn't want you to foot the whole bill for my child regardless if you offered.

 

[2cutekidz]

How far are you from WDW? I agree with PP it would be too far a trip IMO too. They still might appreciate the offer, even if they don't take you up on it.

 

[twooley2]

we are in TX although I guess I just wanted to see if others thought this was being over protective or normal parenting. I can always take another family member a niece or something. So no biggie I guess.

 

[HappyLawyer]

I am a little torked. Recentley about a month ago I spoke to my daughters friends mom and invited the daughter to go to Disney without the daughter knowing (a Surprise of sorts) We agreed we would get back together on it in a month or so and that she (the mom of the girl) would talk to the dad and see if it was ok with him. Today I follow up and she says she has to talk to him again because his first response was no way it is too far away for her to go. She is 12 and I know this sounds bad but why am I so angry that they are not over flowing with gratitude and and jumping at the opportunity. Is it just me?

yeah, it is definitely just you.

 

[traviesojmt]

To be honest, it would depend upon several factors. Are you close friends with this family? I don't mind being called overprotective, but there are very few people that I would allow my children to travel out of state with. If I only knew you casually, then I wouldn't let her go either. No offense, but I can't sincerely figure out why you would be angry. When you invite someone to go somewhere, they have every right to politely decline the invitation. To be honest, their reasons are not relevant. If they are not comfortable for any reason, you should understand.

 

[twooley2]

remove

 

[twooley2]

Thanks for the direct abruptness happy lawyer

 

[jessica52877]

I would be uncomfortable also letting my child go away with someone, so far and I assume for a decent amount of time. It doesn't sound like you are very close with the family and that would concern me also, it would be different possibly if you did alot together, but if your daugther isn't allowed in their house I assume you guys as families don't do things together.

My senior year of highschool we went to disney and I was allowed to bring a friend, but my first 2 choices were not allowed, one I had known and been best friends with since K and the other since 6th grade. Often spending the night at each others house, etc. I think the one was uncomfortable with the price and feeling like she would have to come up with too much money (even though it was only going to be around $100). These friends were 18 and not allowed.

 

[twooley2]

I think when I put myself in the same situation with my own teenagers I can see things so much more clearly I just had to step back from the whole wanting everyone to experience Disney thing. LOL I would not let my 12 year old daughter go either to be honest. Totally different perspective when you start thinking would I do that Thanks for bring up such good points

 

[Aliceacc]

Chalk it up to different parenting styles and don't let it bother you.

She may feel that she should be able to reciprocate, and knows that there's no way she could. There may be a family function for that same period. There may be sick grandparents and mom may be afraid that she might have to change plans should something happen. Maybe they say a prayer before each meal or each evening and she is concerned that you wouldn't do the same.

Don't take it personally, just accept it as a parenting decision that someone else has made.

Just get a firm answer either way, and decide from there what you want to do. If she doesn't go, make sure that your daughter finds something really special to bring back for her.

 

[momof3girls6712]

we are leaving in 10 days YIPPIE! (have to type that at every chance) and are taking my DD (12) friend who is 11. We allowed her to invite 2 of her friends for the trip. We sent the parents "packets" with information such as resort name, dates, ADRs, park plans, and cost to them (250 each). She invited her besft friend whom we have known the family for years and a new friend who we had never met. The best friend has stayed with us for weeks at a time and vice versa. We have had many outings with the parents. However, they said she was not allowed to go. The new friends parents said yes as long as we met them prior to the trip which we have. You just never know. I have since found out with the best friend it ended up being a matter of money and she has 2 sisters. The new friend is an only child.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I think you hit the nail on the head yourself when you mention disney is the holiday of a life time- has this girl been with her own family? If not it may be they want to experience it as a family themselves all together for the first time, we're on a tight budget and there have been many times other family/friends have made offers to take my eldest places that we just couldn't afford at the time and to be entirely honest It's really hurt to hand her over and miss out on her "firsts" knowing someone else is getting to enjoy them with her.

I also have extreme reservations about any of my kids driving long distance or flying without either myself or DH.

I really wouldn't take it as any thing personal the fact they've said no, some of the people I've said no to in the passed i do trust 100% with my kids but I've still said no because it's not always about the trust factor it's about being able to experience things as a family and also fairness- I have 4 kids, when i let my eldest take up treats from family and friends it leaves me feeling really mean to the other 3 (but there's no way on earth i can expect anyone to take all 4 as offering to take one anywhere is more than generous!)

 

[itsagirlthing]

My DD9 has a best friend who's parents are protective, just as my husband and I are. Although I feel very comfortable letting my dd spend the night at her best friends house and going places with her family, I would NEVER let her go all the way to WDW!! There have been times when they have invited my DD to go places with them and I've said no because it was either too far, or because it was something that we like or would like to do as a FAMILY. They have done the same thing with some of our invites. We, as parents, totally and completely understand these situations because we feel the same way! Remember, everyone parents differently!

 

[Schmeck]

we are leaving in 10 days YIPPIE! (have to type that at every chance) and are taking my DD (12) friend who is 11. We allowed her to invite 2 of her friends for the trip. We sent the parents "packets" with information such as resort name, dates, ADRs, park plans, and cost to them (250 each). She invited her besft friend whom we have known the family for years and a new friend who we had never met. The best friend has stayed with us for weeks at a time and vice versa. We have had many outings with the parents. However, they said she was not allowed to go. The new friends parents said yes as long as we met them prior to the trip which we have. You just never know. I have since found out with the best friend it ended up being a matter of money and she has 2 sisters. The new friend is an only child.

This is so disturbing - people you have never met are thinking that it's OK for their child to go off with you somewhere? I don't know what's scarier, that the the parents would allow this, or that you'd take a child that you've never met!

 

[wilderness01]

This is so disturbing - people you have never met are thinking that it's OK for their child to go off with you somewhere? I don't know what's scarier, that the the parents would allow this, or that you'd take a child that you've never met!

I kind of agree, sorry. I would never allow my 12 year old to go that far and would for sure never allow it if we had only met once. I have learned some pretty hard lessons on parenting, or should I say other people's lack of parenting. I too would feel uncomfortable taking a stranger.

 

[mommytobug]

Well, i will admit to being very overprotective so I will chime in. It would depend on my relationship with parents. There are very FEW I would allow my dd to go with out of state. You never know how people act for an extended periods of time. My dd recently spent the night with a friend we have known for a long time. Parents are friendly, etc. She got home the next day to say that her friend's dad hollers. It was disturbing to her. Was it really a big deal? Probably not to others but we dont scream in our home. I guess the red flags I see in this has nothing to do with OP, but with the other girls family. Your dd is not allowed inside? You live across the street? They allow her to do very little? Sorry but in my field of mental health I would worry about this. I hear horrible stories every week from my employees so my mind goes places that others dont. I am not suggesting any illegal anything, just wandering why the child is not allowed to invite a friend inside? I am rambling my point is that this is not about you but about them. Would I let dd go? BIG depends on who you were to us. I would not worry any longer and would not bring it up again. The mother may not know how to say no. They may be very poor and embarrassed to let anyone in or say they cant afford to help or they may just not agree. We have an only child so there are times we ask friends to do more than other parents with more children.............they often think we are nuts but we love kids. Infertility has limited our family so we try to do parties, etc with other kids!

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

No offense, but I wouldn't let my daughter go. I am way overprotective and that would be too far away for me. WDW is a big place and even though I am sure you guys would be great chaperones, I would be uncomfortable at home knowing my baby was so far away! But, what a NICE gesture and I am sure that they appreciate the thought! I am glad that you found another little one to spoil! HAVE FUN!!!

 

[dpayne1969]

Hello,

I have experience with bringing along a friend to Disney.I paid for my sons friend to go with us to Disney & Universal for 2 week vacation.NEVER AGAIN will I bring anyone.He was not interested at all.He was on his cell phone the ENTIRE time he even stayed in the room several days BY HIMSELF! I could not believe it this child is on a once in a lifetime trip & he is sitting in the room on his cell phone!
I dont understand it at all,maybe it was that he is not an addict like us.I mean he loves amusement parks,he did have some fun but not what i expected i guess
My kids never stop smiling when we are in Disney.LOL>>>>So just my experience
with bringing friends.

 

[mousebymarriage]

This past summer when I spoke to the mother of my DD best friend about bringing the child along with us on our Trip Jan. 29th - Feb 5th (my DD is 11 and her friend is 12 today), she told me she and her hubby would have to discuss it, which I totally understood. When she got back to me the next day she & hubby had decided that the whole family would come (DD best friend has 2 sisters). We always get 2 rooms anyway so DD best friend will be rooming in our connecting room with DD, they should have a blast. This family that is joining us along with my extended family will make us a Grand Gathering of 17. Taking a friend can be a touchy subject and a parent may refuse because of finances, length of trip and distance from home, or different parenting styles. Don't be offended!