What to do about unexpected guests!?!

[disneysnowflake]

This is just great. My bil, his wife and 5 kids are coming to visit and didn't tell us until this evening.

They are arriving on Friday afternoon and leaving Monday evening.

They are staying at a hotel which will help. They had it booked 2 weeks ago, but they didn't tell us until tonight.

We haven't seen them in a couple of years. They are driving over 10 hours to get here.

Since our 8 tires were slashed, DH is working from 6am to 4pm on this coming Saturday.
My sons and I have already agreed to volunteer for a carnival on Saturday from 10am to 2pm.

On Sunday I already RSVP'd to help host a luncheon for a woman turning 100. DH will be here though.

Where are we going to fit in time to visit with bil and family? According to DH, his brother was planning on hanging out with us all weekend. BIL does not understand why we can't just cancel things since family is more important than "things".

BIL thinks he's going to eat at our house on Friday, so I guess I'll make sloppy joes. I have a dental appointment at 11am, and then the school is getting cookie dough fundraisers in for parents to pick up from 3pm to 5pm. No one will be here until 5pm on Friday when DH gets home from work.

They aren't leaving until Monday early evening, but our kids have school that Monday, and DH has work.

Would you cancel your weekend plans in order to stay home to visit with relative who just announced this evening that they were coming to visit?

 

[Pop Daddy]

long post

 

[grinningghost]

Unexpected guests are one of my worst pet peeves. I mean, at least give me an hour to get the mud mask off my face and scoop the cat box.

 

[Mary Anne]

No. I'm not big on visitors to begin with and to be honest I think that is rude for them to think they can just drop in like that. Personally, I'd pick aobut 2 to 3 hours at one point on on the the days, tell them THAT is the time you are available and you are busy the rest of the time. Good luck.

 

[BunBun]

Yup.. pick up a few brochures of things to do in the area hand it to them when they get there, tell them when you're avalible, and enjoy your weekend!

 

[MAKmom]

I'd tell them your very busy next weekend & give them alternate date to choice from.

 

[OneThingRemains]

I wouldn't back out of anything. Especially since you volunteered for things. So if you backed out, you'd be inconveniencing other people. If hanging out with you was so important, he could've let you know ahead of time.

 

[ducklite]

Would you cancel your weekend plans in order to stay home to visit with relative who just announced this evening that they were coming to visit?

No. I would tell them that we already ahd a full weekend planned with events that we are committed to, and ask if we couldn't reschedule their visit for a time that would work for everyone.

What they are doing is just darn rude!

Anne

 

[Beth76]

No I would not change my plans. From the way it looks, they're not really things you can change anyway. But they're not really your guests since they're staying in a hotel. Fit in time with them when you can, but don't put yourself out. Order in pizza friday night--easy!! They're going to have to find things to occupy themselves with for the rest of the weekend. This is not your problem. It is theirs.

ETA: If having them over for dinner will really put you out (ie needing clean) then suggest a restaurant that you can meet them at. I think that way, they'll understand (maybe) that you're really not prepared for having company this weekend. Maybe they'll change thier minds. Wow a 10hour drive for a 3 day weekend. Crazy.

 

[agnes!]

I'm sure the carnival can use some more volunteers ...

agnes!

 

[rie'smom]

If I hadn't seen family in a couple of years, then yes I would cancel some things in order to visit with them.

I would cancel the carnival volunteering as there will be other carnivals-or invite them to the carnival.

I'd keep the plans for the 100th birthday for obvious reasons. However,I'd get away to visit family A.S.A.P.

While I'm not fond of drop-ins,I do value family and would do my darndest to see them. They are driving 10 hours to visit. It's not as though they're in the next town.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I would set aside some time for them and try to include them in whatever weekend plans you can, but don't feel like you have to cancel things that you already had scheduled. They should have checked with you first before deciding on that weekend.

 

[Alex2kMommy]

It depends on how much you really want to see them, I suppose.

It's unreasonable and very rude of them to expect you to drop everything and spend the weekend entertaining them! However, if you really want to spend time with them, try to shorten the time of your other commitments if possible and do what you can to spend your time with them.

If you don't want to spend that much time with them, do like others have said: Give them your schedule, and some brochures or suggestions for activities in your absence. They'll have a car, so no problem with transportation during their stay.

Either way give them your regrets, saying you wish they'd let you know sooner so you could have had more time to spend with them. Family or not, they really need to ask if you're available and try to time their visit so it's convenient to everyone involved.

 

[Beth76]

I would cancel the carnival volunteering as there will be other carnivals-or invite them to the carnival.


While I'm not fond of drop-ins,I do value family and would do my darndest to see them. They are driving 10 hours to visit. It's not as though they're in the next town.

Oh I really disagree with this. Oftentimes volunteers are hard to comeby. Cancelling on that could really put a strain on the carnival chairpersons. Yes family is important, but this particular family didn't see it so important to make sure that the OPs schedule was clear. That was their choice to drive 10 hours. What if the OP had a WDW vacation planned. Should she cancel her trip? I do think it's way to much to ask to drop plans at the last minute--yes even for family.

 

[DISUNC]

Yes Unexpected guests are annoying! But then again I think expected guest are too!

JUST BE LUCKY THEY ARE STAYING IN A HOTEL!!!! Mine dont!

But I am a sucker for things like this, and since I havent seen them in awhile...I would spend the week rearranging my schedule. Its only 4 days in a life time!

You can choose your friends, but you cant choose your family!

 

[Michie]

No. I would tell them that we already ahd a full weekend planned with events that we are committed to, and ask if we couldn't reschedule their visit for a time that would work for everyone.

What they are doing is just darn rude!

Anne

I agree!! Talk about rude! My time is stretched like a drum as is, I would be a little ticked! I would tell them sorry that we were busy!

I dont make a good hostess or a guest ( unless it is staying with somebody that lives real close to Disney!)

 

[kennancat]

According to DH, his brother was planning on hanging out with us all weekend. BIL does not understand why we can't just cancel things since family is more important than "things".

These aren't just "things" - you've made commitments and people are now counting on you. If you change your plans, your BIL will continue to treat you this way.

Or you could just make plans to go visit them sometime, and then call them the day before to let them know you won't be able to go because your mother decided to come visit, and well, family is so important

 

[Honu]

I can honestly say that unexpected guests is something that has never happened to us. My guess is my friends and family know I would not take kindly to it, and they'd be right. I wouldn't change any of your plans, and maybe next time your inlaws will realize they need to give more notice they are coming.

 

[luvmy2sams]

We haven't seen them in a couple of years. They are driving over 10 hours to get here.

Where are we going to fit in time to visit with bil and family? According to DH, his brother was planning on hanging out with us all weekend. BIL does not understand why we can't just cancel things since family is more important than "things".

This really irks me. If family is more important than "things", then why has it been a couple of years since you all have seen each other? When family is important, they are considered and consulted instead of simply informed about visits.

They made this reservation two weeks ago but didn't feel the need to inform you until a few days before the visit? Whatever happened to common courtesy? I'd be ticked...family or not.

Sounds like you've got your plate full this weekend, and I wouldn't back out of a single commitment. People are counting on you. I like the PPs suggestions of meeting at a restaurant for dinner on Friday evening and providing suggestions of things to do over the weekend while your family is fulfilling their previous commitments. Maybe next time they'll give you a proper heads-up before dropping by.

Good luck!

 

[Keli]

I don't think you should drop everything to visit with family but I do think you should visit as much as possible. I'd visit Friday night, Saturday afternoon and night after the carnival, on Sunday before the luncheon and/or afterwards. Just whenever you can. That's what I would do.