What to do about my sister.....Kinda long

[danjoealexis3006]

Ok here's the problem..My husband and I are planning our second trip to the World for March , however, my sister decided that her and her DH and DD were going at the same time. I can handle seeing her daily but she thinks that we should rent points for a 2 bedroom at OKW. I know I will not be able to stay with her and her family that long . Don't get me wrong I do get along with her but not living with her. What would you do? Have any of you ever did this? (stayed with family)? This is also her first trip and plans on spending every minute with us (after all she's never been there)! She also thinks that I should do all the planning (Priority Seating, Tours, ect because she is really busy with nursing school and besides I have been there and I am a Disney Freak). How can I say plan your own vaction and I'll plan mine nicely? My hubby will not get involved because he says"he will never live it down " HELP ME BE NICE!! Thankyou all!

 

[susykt4]

First, will your hubby let you put the blame on him about separate hotel rooms? That has been a handy excuse with my family that has kept the peace. "Joe absolutely INSISTS we have our own room. Whatever..."

As far as the planning goes, I could NEVER handle being with my family for everything. My parents want to go commando from open to close, my brother and sis-in-law want to sleep in and stay late, we want to leave midday for a nap for our young children and rarely does everyone actually want to do ANYTHING at the same time. However, the way my family tours, it was often convenient for everyone to eat the evening meal together.

My parents are joining us for our January trip and we're planning time together, apart, alone and time where they take one or both kids. The good thing about going with your sister's family is that you will be able to experience things (assuming your child is young) that you may have had to skip if it was just you and DH. They can take the kids sometimes, you can take the kids sometimes, you can dump the kids on the guys, etc. REFUSE to share the room and everything else should fall into place as they decide if they REALLY want to be with you at park opening or wait with you in line to ride Dumbo again or whatever. Sis has no idea what she's getting into and it's easy to dump the planning on you. Once they get there they'll "get" how many options they have. Good luck!

 

[susykt4]

Whoops! I misread your post and thought YOU had a kid. Well, if you're stuck going with your sister at least it might be really fun to see how your niece reacts to everything!

 

[disneymom3]

I would say that it first of all is really important to you and DH to have your own room. If you have no kids of your own, you soooooo do not want to share a hotel space with people who do. (And this comes from a mother of three. Trust me, if I didnt have to share a room with my three, I wouldn't! ) So, set that in stone. "That is a fun idea, but we really want our own room." Then point out that they are going to want to do things that DN will enjoy and you might not want to spend all morning in Fantasy Land. Personally as a grown up, I would also be skipping Toontown. Heck, I try to convince my kids that they really don't want to go there.

Perhaps you could all agree to be in the same park as each other each day and have set meetings for lunch or for dinner each day. Or even most days. We went with family and had dinner ressies every night and I have to say that it would have been nice to not have to be there EVERY night.

As far as how to say it nicely, I think you just have to say that while you will enjoy spending time with them in WDW, you and hubby want some alone time too and have some grown up stuff you want to do on your own. I would think that if you don't have kids and they do, that is an easy excuse.

 

[Pixiedust34]

I agree with the others. You need to have your own room. Some togetherness would be nice on a vacation, but not 24/7.

Perhaps you can made ressies for a few meals together that you think you may all enjoy, and tell her that you want to leave the rest of the time for "spur of the moment" decisions--point out that her child may need some flexible time to regroup and have some pool time or rest time.

If they've never been to WDW before, they may not realize how big it is, nor how taxing it would be for their child. Perhaps you can say that they *should* take time to do all of the kid-friendly (Toon Town, etc.) activities their child would love, while you and dh do adult attractions, and then meet up for lunch and/or dinner and/or Fantasmic/Wishes, something that everyone would enjoy.

If you center on the fact that you want her child to have a fun, fun, fun vacation, and that her child may think that adult activities like spending 6 hours at the World Showcase is a drag, it'll come off like you're doing her a favor in giving her time to explore WDW on her own so that her child will enjoy the vacation.

All the best to you!

 

[tmli]

Just say renting points is a great idea...why don't we get two studios? Less money and we each have our own space.

 

[delilah]

We go at the same time as my brother's family at least once a year--we intentionally plan that way. Keep in mind that we have often stayed at one another's house for extended times while traveling. We did fine sharing a 2 BR for Sun-Fri. I was actually very sad to see them go, as a matter of fact. We had a full house--three in our family, five in theirs, plus my other brother visited one day.

We are going together again in June. We are staying in separate studios because the 2 BR was more than one year's quota of points, and with two studios at the time we are going, we can all go again. We are requesting our rooms be close together. My home resort is SSR, where we've stayed before, this time, we are staying at Beach Club Villas, which I am looking forward to greatly.

 

[VSL]

Definitely get your own room!

Other than that... it depends on how much you want to see your DSis on holiday. I like Pixiedust34's idea of pointing out all the stuff that her child may wish to do that you are simply not interested in and vice versa.

 

[all4fun]

I have to agree with the others that you'd be better served in the long run if you put your foot down about not sharing a villa. Staying at the same resort - OK, but you and dh might not like have to share personal space with your sis's family. At least it sounds like from your OP that you won't.

As far as how to do it? DH says that you should LIE - Lie and say there were no 2-bdrms available!

Also we have taken two trips with family: Dh's mom & sis once and my parents and 2 brothers another time. Both trips there were times when we all wanted to do different things. I remember feeling very disappointed on one trip because our expectation was that we were planning the trip and they were open to doing whatever we planned (that is what they led us to believe prior to the trip). I would have had a much better time if we would have just planned to split up periodically in the first place. I would also hesitate to make reservations for anything that required a deposit or a credit card to reserve it (here's a list of the restuarants that do: Priority Seating Credit Card Policy Plans can change on the fly and you wouldn't want to get stuck with the bill. Just a thought.

hth!

 

[danjoealexis3006]

Thankyou everyone for the advice!!! I did not mention that I have 2 DS's (4 & 7) and they are not intrested in all that princess stuff that I know that my niece is. My husband came through and said I can blame this all one him (It's a Christmas miracle ). As far as the planning goes I have asked my sister to come over this week and I will help her plan (get her phone numbers, ect) her families vaction. I also made a trip to Barnes and Nobles and bought her a Passporter. My husband decided that I can tell them we will rent seperate studios or we can pick a hotel and stay in the same place. I have a sister-in-law who offered walkie talkies (So we can stay in touch while doing our own things ) and my family likes waterparks and her's does not so I know at least one day we will not be seeing eachother at all moments. I would like to plan some dinners together and even lunches so I'll talk to her about that (MY boys do NOT want anything princess . Thanks again for the advice!!

 

[meloneyb21]

oops....

 

[tmt martins]

Go ahead and get the 2 bdrm you never know you might enjoy it,We have done Many a vacation with both family and friends in the same rooms .( you can always just lock them in the studio part if it gets to crazy) .
Let them know you have your own pace and that they can keep with it or venture out on their own.Then stick to this so YOUR vaction is not ruined .

 

[chrome64]

We always end up with family trying to invite themselves every where we go. We finally decided that the best thing for us is to just be honest with everyone. We don't work well with others and we know that. We tell them that and explain that we will be happy to meet up for things like meals but, that is all. It may seem a bit brutal but we have made people mad that couldn't keep up with us. This method works best for us!!

Good luck!

 

[Stacerita]

I would say get separate places. If you are worried about it now, trust me, when you are there all the little things that bother you at home will be magnified and bother you much more. It would be better IMO, if you both do your own things but meet up for certain things. Like have dinner or breakfast together a few times. Plan to see a show or spend part of a day with all of you. I think you will be happier going your own way with your own family. Everyone has their own way of touring, and if your sis's family isn't on board with yours, if might make everyone crabby. Get your own places, but ask to be close by. You all will enjoy your vacation much more.

 

[barkley]

the problem (beyond the obvious) with the 2 bedroom is that whomever has the non studio portion will always have the majority of foot traffic. the studio room can be closed off more than the master bedroom in the one bedroom portion of the unit. so my concern would be how effective the sleeping arrangements would be (my kids usualy sleep on the sofa bed in the living room with us in the bedroom-i know they would never get any sleep with someone walking in to use the "big kitchen" or the washer/dryer).

 

[danjoealexis3006]

the problem (beyond the obvious) with the 2 bedroom is that whomever has the non studio portion will always have the majority of foot traffic. the studio room can be closed off more than the master bedroom in the one bedroom portion of the unit. so my concern would be how effective the sleeping arrangements would be (my kids usualy sleep on the sofa bed in the living room with us in the bedroom-i know they would never get any sleep with someone walking in to use the "big kitchen" or the washer/dryer).

Oh, I didn't think of that. I wonder if that may change her mind? I know we are early birds and they are night owls. This could change her mind. My husband says this only reinforces the idea that we should have our own space.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would get two rooms and avoid problems with family. We are in the middle of the same issue right now. We have 2 rooms at AKL to sahre with my DD and her family. My Sis in law is coming with us and I broke it to my DH that she is sharing our room. He is easy going, but this is not making him smile. My DD is nervous that her aunt will interfere with their plans with DD....on and on and on. There have been planning and money issues from the beginning, and while this is not something we cannot handle, it has had a bit of a negative impact on our trip. We will not do this again. Immediate family...yes, extended....NO. You decide what you can handle, but maybe it is beter to avoid problems before they start.

 

[Regina]

When you rent points and book it through a DVC member, you do not get daily housekeeping unless you're willing to pay an additional fee for it. That means no change out of the towels, no beds made, no trash removal, no replenishing of shampoo/soap, coffee, etc. You can use this as the reason why you prefer not to rent.

Good luck!! We've traveled with family, and much prefer going on our own.

 

[MrsPete]

Other people have covered the room situation, so I'll just comment on planning:

I'd have them over for Sunday lunch and lay out all the possibilities, then let HER make her decisions for HER family. Choose 2-3 meals that you'll share as a group, and tell her that you'll make those reservations. Give her the phone number so she can make HER family's reservations for other meals.

If she does a little too much "oh, you're going to Animal Kingdom on Tuesday -- we'll do that too", then you can point out that your'e still a little up in the air about your own plans -- then change them later.