What to do about a 2 year old sticking out her tongue?

[Tikicampers]

HOWEVER, the problem in that scenario is my 13 year old drama queen. Four times already this morning she has SHRIEKED at the 2 year old to quit sticking her tongue out at her, and how could she do that when the 13 year old was always SOOOOOOOOOO nice to her, and how mean the 2 year old was, etc. I have told the 13 year old multiple times to just ignore her. Pretend like she doesn't see her and she the little one will not get hte reaction that she is wanting. Instead, the 13 year old is getting all ticked off and playing into the 2 year old's evil plot.

This is your problem. Small children do this sort of thing for attention. If she doesn't get attention, she'll stop.
And btw, I am all for cleaning the mouth out with soap, and if it were an older child, and the sibling was not involved, I would do that. But in your situation it sounds like the older child is making the problem worse.

 

[Hannathy]

I really don't understand why some people are saying to punish the 13 yr old, and letting the 2 yr old get away with being a brat and teasing!!! She is teasing her sister and she knows she is doing it. She knows it will upset her and she is doing it on purpose. Teasing should not be allowed nor condoned. This is when she needs to learn not to tease.

As far as scooping her up and giving her good attention for being bad is beyond me.

 

[iloveboardwalk]

I really don't understand why some people are saying to punish the 13 yr old, and letting the 2 yr old get away with being a brat and teasing!!!

The 13 year old is at the age of reason, the 2 year old is not. The first time, fine, the 13 year old reacts. But once it's explained to the 13 year old that her reaction is reinforcing the 2 year old's behavior and that she is PART OF THE PROBLEM, the screaming at the toddler should have stopped.

As far as "letting the 2 year old get away with it" Well, to be honest, I never do the battle of the wills with a toddler or pre-schooler. They like it. When my kids do these annoying but harmless thing, I ignore them, the behavior stops in short order. They don't like being ignored. They get attention for good behavior.

 

[AC7179]

Thanks for all the responses.

The two year old is definitely sticking her tongue out in a mean way, kind of like a nah nah nah boo boo way.....she's not being playful. But......she started doing it to the rest of the family and we all ignored it and now, pretty much, she ONLY does it to the 13 year old who gave her the reaction.

I have tried punishing her. I'm not sure it's wise to turn it into such a big deal, since that is what she is looking for. Also, she did learn it at school, along with the Nah nah nah nah boo boo, which is a whole other issue. The TEACHER taught it to them with that Deep In the Jungle song......bleh. If I NEVER hear nah nah nah nah boo boo again it will be tooooooooooo soon!

 

[OK!]

Sorry, I don't have any advice (other that what others have already suggested), but I can tell you that what cured me of sticking my tongue out was when I did it (at my grandmother) while bouncing on a pogo stick. At the same moment I stuck my tongue out, one of my feet slipped off one of the pedals, the stick part of the pogo stick shot up & hit me in the chin, and I darn near bit my tongue in half. Not that I'm suggesting traumatic injury as a behavior modification tool, of course.

 

[MrsPete]

I have tried punishing her. I'm not sure it's wise to turn it into such a big deal, since that is what she is looking for.

Maybe she was looking for attention, but she wasn't looking for punishment!

Punishment, by definition, is something that the child DOESN'T want. Punishment for one child might barely phase another child. For some kids, sitting still in a chair for five minutes is pure torment -- for others, it's no big deal. For some, hot stuff on the tounge would be a fate worse than death -- for others, it's unpleasant but not enough to make them stop the behavior. SOMETHING will work for this child; just don't be afraid to make her unhappy - that's the whole point, and since she's acting inappropriately, it's much kinder to go ahead and punish her stringently so she will STOP now.

So the question is, WHAT punishment will cause this particular child to stop this behavior? Figure it out now, or this "spirited child" will be running your household in a couple years, and her behavior'll be worse than sticking her tounge out!

 

[MrsPete]

Sorry, I don't have any advice (other that what others have already suggested), but I can tell you that what cured me of sticking my tongue out was when I did it (at my grandmother) while bouncing on a pogo stick.

Reminds me of something that happened to my oldest: She was younger than two, and she walked up to the refrigerator and pushed the "cold water" thing-y. She was promptly and unexpectedly sprayed in the face with a blast of ice cold water. She cried and cried, mainly because it scared and surprised her. If she'd been "rewarded" with fun ice cubs (and that could've just as easily happened), she probably would've repeated the performance again and again. As it worked out, she "punished herself" and learned her lesson fast!

I didn't plan this -- obviously -- but I'm also not sorry it happened!

The right lesson doesn't have to be repeated over and over again. Using the wrong punishment is useless; it just annoys you and the child.

 

[AC7179]

Thanks for all the advice.

Just an update, I told my daughter that if she stuck her tongue out again, I would wash it out with soap. I was angry at her and I was hoping the threat would be enough. Well, of course not. So the threat worked for a few days but on the third day, she was sent to time out and stuck her tongue out at me. We were at my parents' which just made the whole thing SO much more fun.

Anyway, she was looking at me like, "Whatcha gonna do about it?" so I took her to the bathroom, got a rag, made a big deal about putting some hand soap on the rag, then but the OTHER end of rag on her tongue. So, since she doesn't know what soap tastes like, she thought she was washing her mouth out with soap, even though I wasn't. She cried and cried, but the good news is.....no more tongue sticking out! She does tell everybody she sees that if you stick your tongue out, your mama will put soap in your mouth.....but hopefully that will go away soon.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Err...well...mind you, I'll probably be an awful parent when the time comes around...but having some experience in animal training, I'm a big believer that you can do just about anything with operant conditioning...and that this applies to humans just as well as any other animal. The key is to get the subject to want to not do the thing you don't want them to do. What'd I'd probably try is the same thing I'd do to teach a horse to stop sticking out its tongue. I'd wait for her to stick it out and then grab on to it. This is uncomfortable (though not injurious). If you do it consistently, the "subject" will learn that to avoid the uncomfortable situation, he has to keep his tongue where it belongs (at least around you anyways).