What "Life Skills" should you make sure your college bound teen has?

[golfgal]

Making friends--sounds silly but there are a lot of threads on this board alone about how parents control who their kids play with/hang out with. When kids are in college and have no experience choosing whom they spend time with it can be a disaster.

Oh, and everyone should become good friends with someone from the area where the college is located. It is nice knowing someone that knows the area well. When I was a freshman we had a HUGE snow storm and I was invited to go stay with a friend from the area before the storm hit. We ended up being stuck there for 5 days (in Minnesota no less--they had a one level house and the snow drifts were up to the roof). Sure beat getting stuck in the dorms living off peanut butter and jelly like most of my dormmates did because the dining hall people couldn't get to campus.

 

[minkydog]

Skill:
How to shop for and pick out over the counter meds.
How to go about seeking out medical care, who their providers are and where they can get RX's

DS a Sophomore, has had both The Swine Flu and Influenza this year............He lives 8 miles from home and we were able to get him to urgent care or his personal physician. However, we have also gotten several of his dormmates and friends to urgent care who are not locals - these kids didn't know where they could go (with parents insurance etc) I was calling parents or getting online and looking it up while DH was driving.
Yes the Univ. has a clinic - with limited hours and limited access.

I just want to reiterate this. Many, many older teens and young adults have no idea how to take care of themselves when they get sick. They don't know one OTC medication from another or when to take an illness or injury seriously. Most of them do not know the generic names for medications, so if you give them a Walmart brand of tylenol, be sure you label it "same as tylenol."

My oldest left home at 18 for a tour with Disney On Ice. He was just clueless. So I made up a special first aid kit in a shoe box for him. Included were the usuals: bandaids, neosporin, thermometer, benedryl, Motrin, cough drops. I also made him a card file on an O-ring. Three 4"x6" cards.

**First card had all his emergency numbers on it, allergies, doctors' names & numbers, and routine medications. Also, a copy of the front and back of his insurance card. Instuctions in large letters "TAKE THIS TO THE HOSPITAL WITH YOU"

**Second card was "What to do if you get sick".
Vomiting--small sips of gatorade every 15 min.
Diarrhea--drink extra fluids, no milk or juice. Eat what you like.
Headache--take 2 motrin every 6 hours. Do not take more than 2 at a time(I had to spell it all out for him.)
I also hit cough, cold, rash, cuts and sprains.

**Third card was "When to go to the doctor or ER" .
Vomiting green stuff or more than 8 times in 8 hours--go to ER
Bleeding that you can't stop easily with pressure--go to ER.
Fever with sore throat or chest pain--go to doctor
Fever over 101 more than 24 hours--go to doctor
Head injury that knocks you out--go to ER(call 911)
Hard to breathe or painful breathing--go to ER or call 911

And other stuff that escapes me at the moment.
I put this card file in the first aid kit, on top. I instructed him to consult with the cards for instructions FIRST, but he could call me if he had questions. Well, one day he got really sick in Portland, Maine. Vomiting his head off for about 5hours, really miserable. He called and I told him what to do. 30 minutes later he called back, he feels much worse. I told him to ask the hotel clerk to help him find a doctor or hospital. 30 minutes later I get a call from the EMERGENCY ROOM! Its the ER doc--he passed out in his room and they had to call 911! OMG! And I'm in Atlanta, over 1000 miles away!

Well, the ER doc said he was severely dehydrated and was getting some IV fluids, but she was most impressed with his card file--he somehow remembered to take it with him. She said he had followed his directions to the letter, just didn't go to the hospital as soon as he should have(he was trying to make it to work.) She kept him there for about 8 hours, then let him go back to the hotel to finish sleeping off the illness.

DD16 will be going off to college in a little over a year and I plan to make something similar for her. It's certainly okay for my kids to call me when they're sick, but it really makes them feel adult-like when they can figure it out on their own.

 

[golfgal]

I just want to reiterate this. Many, many older teens and young adults have no idea how to take care of themselves when they get sick. They don't know one OTC medication from another or when to take an illness or injury seriously. Most of them do not know the generic names for medications, so if you give them a Walmart brand of tylenol, be sure you label it "same as tylenol."

My oldest left home at 18 for a tour with Disney On Ice. He was just clueless. So I made up a special first aid kit in a shoe box for him. Included were the usuals: bandaids, neosporin, thermometer, benedryl, Motrin, cough drops. I also made him a card file on an O-ring. Three 4"x6" cards.

**First card had all his emergency numbers on it, allergies, doctors' names & numbers, and routine medications. Also, a copy of the front and back of his insurance card. Instuctions in large letters "TAKE THIS TO THE HOSPITAL WITH YOU"

**Second card was "What to do if you get sick".
Vomiting--small sips of gatorade every 15 min.
Diarrhea--drink extra fluids, no milk or juice. Eat what you like.
Headache--take 2 motrin every 6 hours. Do not take more than 2 at a time(I had to spell it all out for him.)
I also hit cough, cold, rash, cuts and sprains.

**Third card was "When to go to the doctor or ER" .
Vomiting green stuff or more than 8 times in 8 hours--go to ER
Bleeding that you can't stop easily with pressure--go to ER.
Fever with sore throat or chest pain--go to doctor
Fever over 101 more than 24 hours--go to doctor
Head injury that knocks you out--go to ER(call 911)
Hard to breathe or painful breathing--go to ER or call 911

And other stuff that escapes me at the moment.
I put this card file in the first aid kit, on top. I instructed him to consult with the cards for instructions FIRST, but he could call me if he had questions. Well, one day he got really sick in Portland, Maine. Vomiting his head off for about 5hours, really miserable. He called and I told him what to do. 30 minutes later he called back, he feels much worse. I told him to ask the hotel clerk to help him find a doctor or hospital. 30 minutes later I get a call from the EMERGENCY ROOM! Its the ER doc--he passed out in his room and they had to call 911! OMG! And I'm in Atlanta, over 1000 miles away!

Well, the ER doc said he was severely dehydrated and was getting some IV fluids, but she was most impressed with his card file--he somehow remembered to take it with him. She said he had followed his directions to the letter, just didn't go to the hospital as soon as he should have(he was trying to make it to work.) She kept him there for about 8 hours, then let him go back to the hotel to finish sleeping off the illness.

DD16 will be going off to college in a little over a year and I plan to make something similar for her. It's certainly okay for my kids to call me when they're sick, but it really makes them feel adult-like when they can figure it out on their own.

Any chance you saved this on your computer and could post a template. It is a great idea!

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

How to balance a checkbook....my senior year in HS my history teacher had us do this for a whole marking period (along with other history related work) but he said he felt every kid going off into the real world should know how to write a check and how to balance a checkbook, so for a few weeks got a simulated checking account lol. It was pretty cool and I am thankful that he did it.

 

[LisaR]

I'm still in college, 25, living away from home, and I still can't sew... I really need to learn before my wedding!

I graduated from college long, long ago and have been married for 22 years and I still don't know how to sew. The key here is to make sure your future husband can sew.

If the kids need cold medicine, etc now I make them get it out, figure out their own dose, etc. DD would ask every time she needed Advil for cramps and I finally told her she could just do that on her own, they all know how to read now . They all immediately ask for popcicles and ginger ale if they are sick, no matter what they have .

My DD asks about the Advil every month. My answer is the same, "read the bottle." This has been going on for a couple years. I envision her calling me once a month from college and asking how much Advil she should take. My answer will still be READ THE BOTTLE. Kids!

 

[minkydog]

Any chance you saved this on your computer and could post a template. It is a great idea!

Unfortunately, no. I wrote it all out by hand--cuz i'm pretty techno-deficient.

 

[lovemygoofy]

No one is going to like my answers but here goes:

Have a conversation about partying and drinking. How to be safe if you are going to drink and party and know the signs to look out for the friends that have over indulged. Telling them to make sure to put the person on his/her side or look for signs of alcohol poisioning or worse.

Some safe party rules, especially important for girls, including never putting your drink down and to never take an open drink from someone she does not know. Teach the girls that one or two girls with a group of guys drinking can only lead to trouble or bad situations. Make them think before doing this.

Talk to your children about mixing drinks and pills and hope they can tell when a person is more than just drunk. You don't want your child partying and carrying on but you do want them safe.


I know that this is out of the ordinary but honestly it's important. It can be uncomfortable but it can be life saving. I've seen so many young people in situations they had no idea how to get out of and put themselve a risk because they didn't know better.

 

[OceanAnnie]

No one is going to like my answers but here goes:

Have a conversation about partying and drinking. How to be safe if you are going to drink and party and know the signs to look out for the friends that have over indulged. Telling them to make sure to put the person on his/her side or look for signs of alcohol poisioning or worse.

Some safe party rules, especially important for girls, including never putting your drink down and to never take an open drink from someone she does not know. Teach the girls that one or two girls with a group of guys drinking can only lead to trouble or bad situations. Make them think before doing this.

Talk to your children about mixing drinks and pills and hope they can tell when a person is more than just drunk. You don't want your child partying and carrying on but you do want them safe.


I know that this is out of the ordinary but honestly it's important. It can be uncomfortable but it can be life saving. I've seen so many young people in situations they had no idea how to get out of and put themselve a risk because they didn't know better.

Your whole post is right on target. I totally agree. I would also add to the conversation if you are going to drink, have a buddy system. Don't try to walk back to the dorm, or from a bar alone. There have been young men and women that have been victims of a host of crimes because they are vulnerable, impaired and alone. Travel in groups and look out for one another.

 

[LisaR]

No one is going to like my answers but here goes:

Have a conversation about partying and drinking. How to be safe if you are going to drink and party and know the signs to look out for the friends that have over indulged. Telling them to make sure to put the person on his/her side or look for signs of alcohol poisioning or worse.

Some safe party rules, especially important for girls, including never putting your drink down and to never take an open drink from someone she does not know. Teach the girls that one or two girls with a group of guys drinking can only lead to trouble or bad situations. Make them think before doing this.

Talk to your children about mixing drinks and pills and hope they can tell when a person is more than just drunk. You don't want your child partying and carrying on but you do want them safe.


I know that this is out of the ordinary but honestly it's important. It can be uncomfortable but it can be life saving. I've seen so many young people in situations they had no idea how to get out of and put themselve a risk because they didn't know better.

I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with you. My kids are still years away from college and we have talked about all of these things with them already........multiple times. My almost 15 y/o always yells over her shoulder as she is walking out the door, "don't worry mom. I will hold onto my bottle of water for dear life tonight."

 

[marcyinPA]

My DS14 is only in 9th grade, but I'm hoping that he learns how to tie his shoes the right way before he goes to college. He ties them the "two bunny ears" way....drives me NUTS.

 

[My sister's princess]

My DS14 is only in 9th grade, but I'm hoping that he learns how to tie his shoes the right way before he goes to college. He ties them the "two bunny ears" way....drives me NUTS.

I have no idea why, but that is the funniest thing I have read all day

 

[golfgal]

No one is going to like my answers but here goes:

Have a conversation about partying and drinking. How to be safe if you are going to drink and party and know the signs to look out for the friends that have over indulged. Telling them to make sure to put the person on his/her side or look for signs of alcohol poisioning or worse.

Some safe party rules, especially important for girls, including never putting your drink down and to never take an open drink from someone she does not know. Teach the girls that one or two girls with a group of guys drinking can only lead to trouble or bad situations. Make them think before doing this.

Talk to your children about mixing drinks and pills and hope they can tell when a person is more than just drunk. You don't want your child partying and carrying on but you do want them safe.


I know that this is out of the ordinary but honestly it's important. It can be uncomfortable but it can be life saving. I've seen so many young people in situations they had no idea how to get out of and put themselve a risk because they didn't know better.

The res director talked about this too. They suggested bringing a glass with a lid to parties for girls but also said not to trust this 100%. DS is very anti-drinking right now, which is a good thing since he is one of the leaders of his SADD group, but we also told him that chances are he will drink in college and it is perfectly acceptable, once he is of legal drinking age , to go to a party and have a drink or two. Just because you go to a party doesn't mean you have to get plastered.

 

[Gigi22]

How to cook basic, healthy meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner--perhaps how to follow a recipe. Also, how to tell when food in the fridge has gone "off"--very important for the student lifestyle!

 

[Grandmax3]

My DS14 is only in 9th grade, but I'm hoping that he learns how to tie his shoes the right way before he goes to college. He ties them the "two bunny ears" way....drives me NUTS.

My Daughter is 34yrs and still ties her sneakers with the two bunny method. She is letting her DH teach her children.

 

[firstmickey]

My DS14 is only in 9th grade, but I'm hoping that he learns how to tie his shoes the right way before he goes to college. He ties them the "two bunny ears" way....drives me NUTS.

I have no idea why, but that is the funniest thing I have read all day

Me too! I laughed out loud!

Great thread! I'm taking notes!

 

[a1tinkfans]

WOW. this is a GREAT thread. I not only enjoy the laughs but really appreciate the insight. I think I'll be starting my own list.....I am so NOT ready for my ds to be off to college.....but I have some time.....: Too fast for me...way too fast.....

 

[gm]

my ds is a freshman in college so here are the life lesson that could help your child.

1. My ds never did laundry at home and when he did it at college and I visited him during christmas, his closet smelled like tide factory and all his clothes were hard as a rock. He would just put loads of tide detergent in his laundry. I had to tell him not to put that much and i purchased laundry softener sheets because he was putting too much liquid also.

2. Money skills, how to use money wisely. I did not give him a credit card. I just put enough money in his account to last his freshman year. Food was paid thru his grant so it was just spending money. He would tell me how all his friends parents gave them credit cards with no limit to spending and they would not care what they purchased and how much because mommy and daddy paid. Not this mommy

3. keep all things safe and secure because so many friends will come thru his/her dorm and you do not want to lose anything.

4. Go see the university doctor if you get sick. Dont put it off. Its paid for so use it. My ds puts it off because he would rather be with his friends and than calls me on Sunday when it is called and says that his throat is in so much pain.

 

[PirateSnowmen]

How to do laundry!!! I'm currently a freshman in college and I was SHOCKED at the number of people who couldn't do their own laundry. My mom made me do my own laundry starting around age 10, but many people had their first "laundry experience" the first week of school. I couldn't even do my laundry one night because all of the washing machines were overflowing with soap! One machine was even completely filled with blue water. No clothes, just blue water. If you tried to open the machine, the water would come pouring out. Not only is not being able to do your own laundry embarrassing (because there are often people doing laundry at the same time and can see your machine overflowing with soap), it limits the amount of washers available for other people to use.

Also, some people have issues sharing spaces and being respectful to others in the hallway. The first part of last semester I was in a hallway with some VERY LOUD girls. Running up and down the hallway screaming at 2am and banging on doors - you name it, they did it. I eventually had to move out of the hallway because of the noise. Having a party in your room at 3am is NOT considerate to the other people on the floor.

Another thing - do not come up to your child's college and clean their room/bathroom for them. One of my suite-mates (we shared a bathroom) had her mother up EVERY WEEKEND cleaning her room and our bathroom - her mom lives 3 hours away. She (the girl, not the mom ) was also one of the main culprits of the noise in the hallway, so needless to say we didn't get along very well. Her mom knew we didn't get along well, so she would clean her daughter's side of the bathroom spotlessly while messing my side up (smudging the mirror, moving my stuff around so it was more messy).

 

[MelissaE1]

OP here... so many great responses! I never thought about the sharing a room thing! And I see I need to have him fully prepared in the medical department also. Love your idea, MinkyDog. I'll use that one for sure. Nice to know about the available counseling if he needs it, UF is where he is hoping to go. Thinking about starting him on an allowance with a debit card so he gets the hang of budgeting.

No one is going to like my answers but here goes:

Have a conversation about partying and drinking. How to be safe if you are going to drink and party and know the signs to look out for the friends that have over indulged. Telling them to make sure to put the person on his/her side or look for signs of alcohol poisioning or worse.

Not sure why you thought no one would like this, I think it's great advice, and I actually read it out loud to my son (along with eliza61's post about no money means a change of plans ). He said "Mom, I'm not going to drink like that!" (famous last words), but I told him he should at least be able to recognize when a friend had alcohol poisoning or the like. Made for a good conversation starter. I'm glad you posted it.

 

[DVCLiz]

Everyone should have been having talks with their preteens and teens about birth control and sexual choices/safety all along, but if you haven't had them now is the time. Make sure your teens know what birth control choices are available to them and they are well educated about reproductive issues.