What is your opinion?

[eeyoresmom]

This is budget related, please trust me DH and I are having a bit of a disagreement about this situation. I don't want to give too many details because I would like everyone's opinion without "coloring" it with my biased view. If you were invited to a formal event, (tuxedo, formal dress, etc), what is the latest you would expect the invitation? Event is a large fundraiser in early December. I will give more info but really want to hear what others would expect first. TIA

 

[Anastasia]

I would expect it 6 weeks before the event, 4 weeks before at the latest.

 

[SC Minnie]

I would expect it 6 weeks before the event, 4 weeks before at the latest.

I agree.

 

[Handbag Lady]

This is budget related, please trust me DH and I are having a bit of a disagreement about this situation. I don't want to give too many details because I would like everyone's opinion without "coloring" it with my biased view. If you were invited to a formal event, (tuxedo, formal dress, etc), what is the latest you would expect the invitation? Event is a large fundraiser in early December. I will give more info but really want to hear what others would expect first. TIA

Four weeks at the latest.

 

[GusGus77]

Another vote for 4-6 wks before.

 

[disneyhand]

Another vote for 4-6 wks before.

Me too!

 

[kim929]

Also agree with the 4-6 week range, 4 is pushing it.

 

[teamagic]

I think that 6 weeks is the standard for formal/black tie events. Anything sent earlier is often sat aside and forgetten about....anything later and you are risking that the invites are too lates and they already have plans. Plus you usually have to rsvp back about between 10 - 14 days before the event.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

For me, 6 weeks would be the latest date I'd expect an invitation for a black tie event in December.

I've been booked for weekend events for December at the beginning of November. (Lots of friends doing Holiday parties this year!).

 

[timmac]

Agree with all the above. 4 weeks would be pushing it.

 

[scrapquitler]

Also agree with the 4-6 week range, 4 is pushing it.

Agreed. As far as I remember, protocol for wedding invitations is to send them out 8 weeks prior to the wedding, I would expect close to the same for any formal type event under normal circumstances. 8 weeks is ideal, 6 weeks perfectly reasonable. 4 weeks would be short notice and anything less than that, I'd be automatically declining the invitation unless there were really extraordinary circumstances.

 

[eeyoresmom]

Thank you. We received the invitation 9 days before the event. I would have to buy semi formal dress, shoes, etc. and only have Saturday to do this as I work full time and still have kids at home. My son's birthday is Sunday and I am already planning on several hours of shopping etc. for him on Saturday. Besides that, I really don't want to spend several hundred dollars to go to an event that we have no personal ties to. I'm sure the invitation was well meant but DH argue over what I consider last minute invitations a lot and do want to make sure I am not being unreasonable. DH believes I should just buy what I need to attend the event as he thinks the potential for business contacts may be good.

 

[pixiewings71]

9 days is last minute, sorry DH. lol

 

[scrapquitler]

Thank you. We received the invitation 9 days before the event. I would have to buy semi formal dress, shoes, etc. and only have Saturday to do this as I work full time and still have kids at home. My son's birthday is Sunday and I am already planning on several hours of shopping etc. for him on Saturday. Besides that, I really don't want to spend several hundred dollars to go to an event that we have no personal ties to. I'm sure the invitation was well meant but DH argue over what I consider last minute invitations a lot and do want to make sure I am not being unreasonable. DH believes I should just buy what I need to attend the event as he thinks the potential for business contacts may be good.

I think that 9 days is WAY too short, especially in December, most people have multiple events to attend in December. I'd guess that they are going to have low attendance if they really waited until 9 days out to invite you. This makes me wonder if they are a: disorganized b: your hubby dropped the ball or c: you are on the B-List.

Personally, I'd have a very hard time pulling together appropriate clothing, shoes, accessories, etc. for this sort of event within 9 days, especially given your sons birthday and your work schedule between now and then. My DH would likely be paying for this for a long time if I agreed to go

 

[richmond282]

Thank you. We received the invitation 9 days before the event. I would have to buy semi formal dress, shoes, etc. and only have Saturday to do this as I work full time and still have kids at home. My son's birthday is Sunday and I am already planning on several hours of shopping etc. for him on Saturday. Besides that, I really don't want to spend several hundred dollars to go to an event that we have no personal ties to. I'm sure the invitation was well meant but DH argue over what I consider last minute invitations a lot and do want to make sure I am not being unreasonable. DH believes I should just buy what I need to attend the event as he thinks the potential for business contacts may be good.

I'd tell DH to go by himself then. He can tell everybody you aren't feeling well or had a prior scheduled engagement.

 

[akcire]

Since black tie fundraisers are typically planned 6-12 months in advance, and tickets are available for sale 4-5 months in advance. I would say 9 days is short notice.

If your husband wants to get business contacts tell him to go. I attend a fair number of black tie events with my husband and do not have to buy dresses, and my husband knows the least amount of notice for an event for me is 4 weeks.

 

[DVC Daisy]

I'd tell DH to go by himself then. He can tell everybody you aren't feeling well or had a prior scheduled engagement.

This gets my vote if he really wants to go. I hate to say it, but it does sound like you are on the B or even C list

Nothing wrong with DH attending by himself.

 

[eliza61]

I would expect it 6 weeks before the event, 4 weeks before at the latest.

ditto.

no less than 4 weeks, preferably 6

 

[eliza61]

Thank you. We received the invitation 9 days before the event. I would have to buy semi formal dress, shoes, etc. and only have Saturday to do this as I work full time and still have kids at home. My son's birthday is Sunday and I am already planning on several hours of shopping etc. for him on Saturday. Besides that, I really don't want to spend several hundred dollars to go to an event that we have no personal ties to. I'm sure the invitation was well meant but DH argue over what I consider last minute invitations a lot and do want to make sure I am not being unreasonable. DH believes I should just buy what I need to attend the event as he thinks the potential for business contacts may be good.

Ok, that sort of complicates things.

My dh also had his own busines. He and his partner were fanatical about making contacts. You really have to be. Let me tell you, social functions reap tons of business.
Interestingly enough my dh ended up buying a tuxedo just for this reason.

So in this instance, could you get a basic black dress? Nowadays many formal events don't necessarily mean gown.

I also agree that Dh can definitely go by himself.

 

[Sadie22]

Thank you. We received the invitation 9 days before the event. I would have to buy semi formal dress, shoes, etc. and only have Saturday to do this as I work full time and still have kids at home. My son's birthday is Sunday and I am already planning on several hours of shopping etc. for him on Saturday. Besides that, I really don't want to spend several hundred dollars to go to an event that we have no personal ties to. I'm sure the invitation was well meant but DH argue over what I consider last minute invitations a lot and do want to make sure I am not being unreasonable. DH believes I should just buy what I need to attend the event as he thinks the potential for business contacts may be good.

The key is the last sentence above, not how far ahead you knew about the event. Your husband is asking you to help him market himself, with potential payoff in household income. Perhaps you have a simple dress or pantsuit and some sparkly earrings you could throw on to accompany your husband to this event. It's not about you personally, but about the people he would like to meet. Try to look at it as supporting your husband's career. Perhaps you could take a day off work to help you get ready for the family event, and when you have leisure you could make sure your wardrobe has some extra pieces so you can be ready to attend such events without making a fuss about the amount of lead time. Black or red always work for me.