What is with strangers calling you "hon"?

[donaldbuzz&minnie]

I just got off yet another phone call with a customer service representative who must have called me "hon" 4 times in the course of the call. Is this a regionally learned thing? Where I grew up, this would have been unthinkably rude, unless you were an adult speaking to a child. It doesn't strike me at all as friendly - just patronizing. Any views?

 

[HM]

I guess living in the South, I've gotten to the point that something like that seems normal to me.

I have found that if the customer service person doesn't know your name they seem to want to have something to call you. Hon, Dear, Miss, whatever.....

 

[Mizzoufan]

It's the norm where I live. I don't see how it could be rude?

 

[kimj88]

It is big in Maryland, particularly Baltimore, and usually not meant to be offensive.

 

[DisneyLvr55]

I hate it! I don't need anyone to call me Mrs. "Jones" so by all mean call me by my first name, but the moment you call me hun or sweetie or anything along those lines I'm done. I don't know you, and the only people who are allowed to call me that are my husband or my mother. Its just sounds so patronizing and condescending to me.

 

[MickeySP]

Very unprofessional in a business setting, so yeah wouldn't like it. I have had little old ladies call me Hun, but that is just cute.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I don't think it's rude, but I do think it's weird. I'm not your "hon", you don't know me. I'm a customer.

 

[FLCyndi]

18 year old at Starbucks kept calling me "Hon". Made me feel like his grandma. LOL

 

[NHdisneylover]

DD18 volunteers at a camp in MO every summer and says she hears that a lot--and it always throws her a bit because we never lived anywhere it was common.

 

[whitney250]

I hear it all the time, it's very common in TX. It's meant to be sweet, not demeaning

ETA: Most of the time it's women who say it. Sometimes men say it, and depending on what context it's said in, it can be creepy instead of nice.

 

[jerseygal]

18 year old at Starbucks kept calling me "Hon". Made me feel like his grandma. LOL

Funny, that you should say this...A kid, about 18, 19 or thereabouts at Subway called me "hun", twice! HUH? Very friendly, but REALLY? Just cracked me up, for God Sake, he's my youngest DS's age!

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I don't think it's an intentional act and is probably so ingrained in their speech pattern that they really don't even realize they are doing it if I had to guess.

 

[DisPup75]

I used to hate this. It felt so condescending - like I was a child when I was trying so hard to be a grown-up.

But I don't know, as I've gotten older and the world has gotten harder/meaner/more stressful/whatever, I've kind of started to like it. It somehow makes me feel cared for. I guess I've just chosen to view weird terms of endearment from strangers as a sign of humanity and connection.

 

[okeydokey]

Did you think they were making fun of you or trying to demean you on purpose?

I am not bothered by little things if there is no ill intent.

 

[slo]

It's like nails on a chalkboard for me.
People are just trying to be nice, so I never act like it bothers me, but between me and all of you, it bothers me

 

[JustCallMeMommy]

I hate "pet names." Nothing grates on my nerves more than a waitress or cashier (they seem to be the common offenders) calls me "hon" or "sweetie." I think the problem is that it comes across as too familiar when you aren't in a personal setting.

ETA: Southerner here, too, but it isn't an every day occurrence. I definitely notice it when someone uses pet names.

 

[BrianL]

I'm a southerner as well, and it's so common here I don't even notice it. Particularly, a woman calling a younger person "Hon" is very normal; A man calling a lady "Hon" can kinda go either way depending on context, but is usually pretty innocent. I don't really think about it much, to be honest.

 

[scdak]

I live in the south, its pretty common to hear it but its nothing I say. But compared to some things I hear as an ER nurse I will take hun and sweetie any day! Some folks don't like to wait and they sure don't like being told they aren't getting the exact prescriptions that they came in to get

 

[lynxstch]

It must be a Southern thing..I'm originally from MA, and when I moved to Western MD..everyone was calling me hon, honey, sweetie, darling etc...they did it to my husband in a restaurant (while putting her arm around his shoulder and asking what he wanted, and ignoring me) , and I was offended..I said he's not your honey, or your sweetie, so please don't address him like that. It irritated the heck out of me when it happened 15 years ago..and it still does to this day when a cashier or waitress says it to me. I will never get used to it I guess

 

[mom2rtk]

Just call them "sweetie" and move on.