What is with kids these days???

[lindakmonty]

Ok... I just need to vent. My DH just emailed me and said his son will be moving out. His son is 24, just graduated from 6 yrs. of college. I think he's a spoiled brat, but I have kept that to myself! They got into an argument this morning over fixing breakfast!!! My dh does most of the cooking, I'm gone working 12 hrs a day... His son has this habit of just thinking of himself. He started getting things out to fix himself breakfast. dh was working with my ds5 on coloring and things to get him ready for Kindergarten. dh told him that he'd take a few eggs... no biggie I would think??? guess his son got a total attitude because he didn't want to make a few eggs for him. Come on! He's 24 and over 300 lbs! We buy all the groceries, pay all the bills. He can't fix his own dad a few eggs with his own!!! Gimme a break. He is so lazy! He doesn't pick up after himself at all... wont put his dishes in the dishwasher... he drinks gallons of drinks but won't refill the pitcher!!! He's driving me nuts, but I keep my mouth shut.... His dad has paid for all his vehicle repairs and everything up to now... he has paid nothing so far. His attitude drives me crazy. You ask him to do anything and you would think you're killing him! I'm only 29 and came from a total different world. As soon as I was 12 I remember working at an Insurance company... for $3 an hour... I had to buy my own school supplies, my own school clothes. Grandma bought some too...but my mom wouldn't help us do anything... My grandparents bought my first car, but I was on my own for any insurance, repairs, etc... by the time I was 24.. I was married, had ds, had a house, a rental property, 5 vehicles and couple hundred k in the stock market...I realize this isn't typical either...but this kid is unreal! Literally my ds5 does more around the house than the 24 year old???!!! My ds keeps his room clean, makes his bed everyday, puts his dishes in the sink, folds up blankets when he's done with them.... that kind of stuff... his 24 year old don't do hardly anything. His dad told him he had to change or move... his reply was "fine, then I'll move" He's getting married in Aug. so the deal before was he could stay until he got married... he graduated last month and he's not out trying to find a job or anything! I just don't get it. All he thinks about is himself! Is it me, or are most kids his age like this anymore? It's ALL about "THEM"! UHHH drives me crazy!

 

[Christine]

While I truly don't believe ALL kids are like this, I think there are some (and there always have been). It is getting worse. You can blame the kid and some of it can be *personality* (some people *are* more driven than others). But the bottom line fault lies with the parent(s) who allow the behavior to continue at the home AND the child who thinks it is okay to take advantage. Deadly mix.

Your DH has allowed this to happen. It is not *cute* in a 24 year old.

 

[SC Minnie]

While I truly don't believe ALL kids are like this, I think there are some (and there always have been). It is getting worse. You can blame the kid and some of it can be *personality* (some people *are* more driven than others). But the bottom line fault lies with the parent(s) who allow the behavior to continue at the home AND the child who thinks it is okay to take advantage. Deadly mix.

Your DH has allowed this to happen. It is not *cute* in a 24 year old.

ITA. You can't start expecting them to do things at 24. It has to start early.

To be honest I feel sorry for the person he is going to marry. She will end up with a lazy, unemployed, selfish husband

 

[Evil Queen]

Not all are that bad. At least mine isn't, he's 23.

He does my yard work, cooks for himself and sometimes for me and his younger brother. Takes care of his own bills and even helps me with the household bills.

 

[lindakmonty]

Actually, that will be very intersting... his fiance is just like him! I don't know who they think is going to pay their bills... because we arent! They aren't going to live w/us either! I agree it has a lot to do w/the parents too... I don't know what he was like when he graduated high school... but since he'd moved out for college for a few years...and the last 2 years he just stayed at our house on the weekends while he was in town to see his girlfriend ... his college as about an hour away... His parents got a divorce when he was 18 and leaving for college. His mom was having an affair w/her boss and his dad was overseas in the military. Bad situation all the way around I guess...but I think it's time to grow up! Guess I'm happy my mom was so strict now I always had to work hard for what I have and I appreciate it all the more for it!

 

[Crankyshank]

24 is not a kid. It looks to me like he was coddled by his parents way too much and unfortunately it's turned him into a lazy selfish adult

 

[ckay87]

Um, it's not "kids these days", it's "some kids these days." For example, I don't know any 24 year olds like that. That's an over-generalization that is as old as dirt.

 

[Planogirl]

It sounds like it'll do him good to get out on his own.

 

[goodeats]

Not a flame - but you're 29 with a 24 year old step-son? I'd act out too if my dad married somebody 5 years my senior!

But yeah, not all kids are like this at all! And in reality - if he's a kid, then you are a kid too!

 

[shortbun]

Some poor girl is marrying this lout? I hope his dad kicks him to the curb. It's time for sonny boy to learn to support himself.

 

[shortbun]

Not a flame - but you're 29 with a 24 year old step-son? I'd act out too if my dad married somebody 5 years my senior!

But yeah, not all kids are like this at all! And in reality - if he's a kid, then you are a kid too!

"Act out"? Acting out is for small children. This young man need to be shown the highway. His step mother's age should have nothing to do with his behavior. He's 24, has had 6 years of college handed to him and it's time for him to start behaving like an adult-which he is. He's obviously had plenty of his Dad's attention AND money.

Darlin', support your husband and help him show his son the door. Maybe his fiance will start taking care of him a little early. poor girl has no idea what she's getting into.

 

[lyzziesmom]

My DD's father was, and is, exactly like this. He still lives at home with his parents, at age 38, and does absolutely *nothing* around the house, does not pay for any of his own things (and therefore has no respect for "his" things), is completely irresponsible, and blames everything on other people. If you ask me, the fault lies totally with the parents for allowing this to continue. There is a reason they call it "tough love". Stop making excuses for the boy, do not support him, and you will all be surprised by what necessity will force him to accomplish.

BTW, who is paying for these slackers' wedding? It sounds to me like neither one of them is mature enough or responsible enough to be getting married.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Originally Posted by goodeats
Not a flame - but you're 29 with a 24 year old step-son? I'd act out too if my dad married somebody 5 years my senior!

Really? I mean I know nothing about your particular family situation, but if I were ever in a position to remarry, I certainly wouldn't be asking my children what limits they feel like placing upon my choices.

I know of several 20 and 30 year olds like this. I feel sorry for his future wife.

 

[NewJersey]

It's time to get him out of that house and show him some responsibility. I'm 22, and I'm living at home now for about a year, while I save up so I can buy a townhouse next year. with the prices of homes here in NJ, I can't get a townhouse for less than 300,000. But, I help around the house, cook dinner, buy some groceries while I can (it's hard since I don't start my FT job until August), pay for my own things, and make sure to be respectful of my parents and letting them know if I'll be home late or things like that.

I'm sorry to hear about your step son. I have an older brother who is exactly like him, but only worse.

 

[lindakmonty]

Yes...he's 24 and I'm 29... my dh is 44 and retiring from the military. My ex was abusive to my ds and I, started drinking heavily etc. I was not about to raise my son in a home like that. I gave him almost 3 years to change or get help and he wouldn't. So, I divorced him. We had plenty of assets and I have a pretty good job. I met my dh... he is the total opposite than my ex. My ex wouldn't even walk ds next door to the sitter! wouldnt' open a can of soup for himself or anything! DH... watches my ds everyday. Before semi-retirement he picked him up everyday from preschool...he cleans the house and cooks dinner everyday... unbelievable difference. I am gone 12 hrs a day now but as soon as all his retirement stuff is settled he wants me to quit my job. I want to go to college for RN, then possible nurse practitioner... he supports me 100% and then some. Then I can be more flexible to see my son grow up and be there for his soccer games or whatever as he gets older. I can work closer than 75 miles from home!!! He is unbelievable to us and I don't care about the 15 yr. age difference.

 

[NewJersey]

Yes...he's 24 and I'm 29... my dh is 44 and retiring from the military. My ex was abusive to my ds and I, started drinking heavily etc. I was not about to raise my son in a home like that. I gave him almost 3 years to change or get help and he wouldn't. So, I divorced him. We had plenty of assets and I have a pretty good job. I met my dh... he is the total opposite than my ex. My ex wouldn't even walk ds next door to the sitter! wouldnt' open a can of soup for himself or anything! DH... watches my ds everyday. Before semi-retirement he picked him up everyday from preschool...he cleans the house and cooks dinner everyday... unbelievable difference. I am gone 12 hrs a day now but as soon as all his retirement stuff is settled he wants me to quit my job. I want to go to college for RN, then possible nurse practitioner... he supports me 100% and then some. Then I can be more flexible to see my son grow up and be there for his soccer games or whatever as he gets older. I can work closer than 75 miles from home!!! He is unbelievable to us and I don't care about the 15 yr. age difference.

I wouldn't even have given that person who posted that response the time of day. You do what makes you and your family happy!