What is with couples?!

[tink774]

Now I'm curious. My friend and I got to talking about this issue last night, and while I'm strictly against registry/gift info on the invitation, she felt it was the most responsible and hassle-free way to make the info available. Since I've seen so many DIS brides do the invites with different cards inside along with the invite, I wonder if it would be okay to include a small registry card along with everything? I feel like in the case of a destination wedding, gift/registry information should not even be supplied in something like the invite but rather just given to any individuals who ask for it directly. But I don't know.

 

[beatlesblonde]

I haven't been to a lot of weddings, but the last two I went to they had a table for gifts/cards at the reception. Then the next day they bride and groom had lunch at their home for family and they opened them there. But I guess it depends on what is customary where you live. Now my cousin is getting married and when we received her invite it did have those little cards you get from some places telling you they've registered there, but her wedding is being planned very quickly and there isn't a lot of time between engagement and the marriage so I could she why she did that due to time constraints.

 

[tiggersam00]

I thought there was an edict rule about not putting gift instructions with an invitation. If the bride has a shower, then registry information is acceptable but not inside an invitation!

I agree, I think a registry card with a shower invite is fine, but any other mention is well "taboo" for lack of a better word lol.

My mom is throwing us a engagement party and on the invite she put the link to our wedding website on it. The site does have registry info if people are interested, but I am not expected gifts, she put the site on the invite because people have been asking about hotels, tickets etc and that is the best place to refer them too. I think people should be greatful for anything they recieve, and should not ever expect a certain type of gift (i.e $$, gift cards etc etc).

And a 5 year VR asking for gifts sounds a bit greedy to me. I agree with the poster that mentioned a bottle of wine. Thats sounds like the typ of anniversary gift I would give a close friend and IMO is appropriate for a VR as well

 

[sbsteel]

Now I'm curious. My friend and I got to talking about this issue last night, and while I'm strictly against registry/gift info on the invitation, she felt it was the most responsible and hassle-free way to make the info available. Since I've seen so many DIS brides do the invites with different cards inside along with the invite, I wonder if it would be okay to include a small registry card along with everything? I feel like in the case of a destination wedding, gift/registry information should not even be supplied in something like the invite but rather just given to any individuals who ask for it directly. But I don't know.

It's never okay to include registry information/money solicitation with the invitation. Glad you were trying to set her straight!

 

[tink774]

It's never okay to include registry information/money solicitation with the invitation. Glad you were trying to set her straight!

Thanks for the info! I feel like including any gift information with your invitation gives it a very graduation announcement feel. One of my roommates just sent those out, and she got just enough to send them to everyone on a list her mom made of friends/family that they knew were likely to send money. Getting an invitation that says something at the bottom like "We're registered at so-and-so" or "Cash donations accepted" would make me really uncomfortable, but that's just me.

 

[CharacterFan]

I'm not planning on having a shower. I just don't really want one. I don't like being the center of attention. I do plan on putting the regisry information in the invitation and request that if you decide to get a gift that you please mail it to us and not bring it with them to Orlando.

We know that it'll be a gift for some to just come to the wedding, and aren't asking people to buy us stuff, but if they'd like. We're also going to register for some small things we'd get a kick out of having. Some dvds and things like that. We know some people want to bring gifts to the wedding and those are small enough we can transport them home.

 

[sbsteel]

I'm not planning on having a shower. I just don't really want one. I don't like being the center of attention. I do plan on putting the regisry information in the invitation and request that if you decide to get a gift that you please mail it to us and not bring it with them to Orlando.

We know that it'll be a gift for some to just come to the wedding, and aren't asking people to buy us stuff, but if they'd like. We're also going to register for some small things we'd get a kick out of having. Some dvds and things like that. We know some people want to bring gifts to the wedding and those are small enough we can transport them home.

If I were you, I'd seriously reconsider putting the registry cards in with your invitations. Saying gifts are unneccesary but then putting in cards to let everyone know where they can get them is kind of contradictory, if you know what I mean. If people want to know where you're registered, they'll find out - they'll ask other family, they'll ask you, they'll look for your names online at the usual registry places, etc. Or they'll just give you money!

 

[meryll83]

It's never okay to include registry information/money solicitation with the invitation. Glad you were trying to set her straight!

See I think this is the difference here in the UK.
I don't think I've EVER received an invite WITHOUT this info!

 

[CharacterFan]

See I think this is the difference here in the UK.
I don't think I've EVER received an invite WITHOUT this info!

I'm in the South, I haven't gotten an invite without it as well. I thought it was almost standard these days.

 

[arubio0801]

I think it's kinda tacky for somone to request a certain gift like cash only, or no boxes! I mean people should be happy with what they get really!! I didn't put in my invite where were registered I just put a little card that said to check out our webiste and about our weekend bags not to forgot to pick one up at the front desk. And of course our web site says where were registered but I didn't point it out. If someone wants to get us a gift that's up to them. I think them coming to orlando for the wedding is enough money really. It isn't cheap and to request a gift on top of that it's just not right in my opinion.

 

[sbsteel]

See I think this is the difference here in the UK.
I don't think I've EVER received an invite WITHOUT this info!

I should've said "In America, it's never okay..." My bad!

 

[Justsyd2]

That's just so rude! You never, ever, include gift instructions in an invitation. I'm in the South, and it's just not done! If someone wants to know gift information, they are supposed to phone the host and ask. I didn't include any information with my wedding invitation. We still received a ton of gifts -- without even asking.

Here's how I handle this situation; if I receive an invitation asking for gifts, I don't go - I just send a card wishing them my best. If I receive an invitation saying that my presence is more than enough, I show up with a fabulous gift.

 

[ffmf]

I'm in Canada and I also haven't never received an invite without registry information or a note about cash gifts in recent years.

Requesting cash gifts can be tricky but one of our friends put a really cute little poem together about it and I thought it was fine. I actually really appreciate it when people do this. This way I don't have to hunt down their registry info or risk getting something they don't want/need. I like it when people are upfront and just let you know what they want.

I am actually not registering or putting a not about cash gifts but that is because I don't want people to get us anything. When we send out our invites for our at home reception we will be putting a note saying that we only require their presence but if they feel the need to give a gift a donation to Boys and Girls Clubs of Edmonton is preferred (my DF and I met and worked there together for yrs)... but we'll make it sound a bit nicer than that

 

[Ember]

I'm in Canada and I also haven't never received an invite without registry information or a note about cash gifts in recent years.

I'm in Canada, too. The hill-billy west of Alberta!

I'm with a PP, wedding invites that include gift information almost always get declined. It makes me sad that so much thought is put into getting gifts. So even though my gift and I have both been formally invited, we stay home that night and have some quite time.