What is up with parents forcing kids on rides???

[BayouMickey]

just "suppose" something tragic happened to the child,(no fault of Disney's) would there be criminal charges to the "forcing" parent(s)? lots of witnesses to the "crime" the way you are all talking of see this forcing of the kids

oh you are just all about opening another can of worms aren't ya

 

[ScotsMinnie]

just "suppose" something tragic happened to the child,(no fault of Disney's) would there be criminal charges to the "forcing" parent(s)? lots of witnesses to the "crime" the way you are all talking of see this forcing of the kids

That's just silly now isn't it? Would you say the same if a child didn't want to get in the car and you forced them to get in and you had an accident.

This thread is getting ridiculous.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

That's just silly now isn't it? Would you say the same if a child didn't want to get in the car and you forced them to get in and you had an accident.

This thread is getting ridiculous.

Sorry - just realised you are saying it is silly too!

 

[TitanBrett]

This thread is getting ridiculous.

getting?

 

[Maine-iac]

I am curious if your son will also reject your philosophy of just wait until they feel it is right when he has kids. I have not forced my kids onto a ride kicking and screaming but my son had a few tears at the start on the first four coasters he tried and he loved each and everyone of them when he got off. It wasn't until the fifth one that he fully understood it was more about the fear of the unknown than being scared of the ride.

You see this is what I believe the debate is about. You did not force your kids on a ride kicking and screaming. A few tears is OK for me as that just shows uncertainty of what is going to happen. DS did ride Splash with tears of hesitation. It was not an I don't want to ride cry but a fear of the unknown cry. A quiet cry where most in the line behind us did not know. He did not state that he did not want to ride. If he went through any lines with us and decided at the last minute not to ride then he didn't. He tries anything now.
It is the scene that plays out with the kicking and screaming kids that I do not like. It is unfair to the child as well as those who have to listen to it.
I wonder how many of these kicking and screaming kids are just over tired or overwhelmed with the entire experience and would do better after some down time.

 

[Maine-iac]

You have just described my youth to a T. I was a ride chicken and fearful of being over my head in water (which stinks growing up on a large lake) until my mid-teens and then I got over it.

Yeah that would suck. Usually kids who live on lakes or have pools excel in swimming. I suppose if we had a pool maybe DS would have done better. But he did learn to go under water before he was 10. He learned in the pool at ASSports and just got more sure of it from then on. DD was always a fish and you could not get her out of the water. Go figure.

 

[Tiger926]

I do totally understand your line of thought... and find validity in your experiences.

I don't want to debate sematics too much... but is there a better term for these people than "at risk." Ugh. I have been battling against being labeled as that for so long now. I am sure you hear this same complaint often in your line of work.

Because of our propensity to stereotype (the brain's natural way of organizing input)... it is commonplace for people to attribute all "low income" persons as being "at risk." Let me tell you that that is not always the case. Having more disposable income does not equate to good parenting skills or good child development outcomes.

There are plenty of low income persons that do better and work harder for their kids' development/future opportunities than those who have it easy. We sure don't take anything for granted!

Enough said!

WooHOO I love Disney World!

I'm confused - I didn't equate income levels at all with being at-risk. My categorization of middle or upper class has nothing to with financial status - sorry, in my world, this is a given. I guess I should have explained this better. By middle and upper class, I am referring to access to housing, food and clothing, job opportunities and postsecondary education. It just so happens that some of my at-risk students are financially poor, but I have many who fall into the middle and upper class levels in the categories mentioned, plus their parents do well financially as well (several of them live near me, parents who are business professionals, no alcohol or drug abuse) and they struggle greatly for a variety of reasons.

We do use at-risk here in our province - not sure about yours, but this is our classification. At-risk means a heck of a lot of things, and so we prefer this as most people assume the low income/at-risk connection when other classifications are used. I teach at an alternative school, so the majority of my students and their families are at-risk, even those who make more income than I do. My parents would have been classified as low income when we were little (they are far from it now), but we were not at-risk at all as my parents were educated, roof over our heads, food, etc..., but jobs were tight and my mom chose to stay at home, so less disposable income. Just like you said, it shouldn't equate to income levels, but unfortunately, in my city, most of my students and their families struggle very much financially, and all of the other stuff that follows is a reaction to that: drug/alcohol abuse, school drop outs, crime, etc. Does it mean there isn't this happening at the financially well-off highschools? Nope, in fact, they have more drugs and fights than my school does. One does not equate to the other, so sorry for that misunderstanding. In my world, most people know that one does not equate to the other - just take a look at Hollywood. Most of them would be at my alternative highschool, I'm sure of that - LOL!

Tiger

 

[Tiger926]

To those of you who think my argument is flawed due to me teaching at-risk children, I'm not sure what this has to do with it?

I mentioned that because in my vast experience, at-risk children communicate more with their teachers than non at-risk children; therefore, they have told me from their own mouths how their parents behaviour affected them. At-risk children have been mostly ignored, or forced to do things that they didn't appreciate, so they are very forthcoming with their opinions and are quite honest with me in regards to all categories. I am a fantastic listener and don't lecture or judge, so this makes for a very postive and receptive atmosphere for them - something they are not really used to.

Since I don't teach kids at mainstream school as I teach at an alternative school, it would have been dishonest of me to relay what other students had said to me, as I haven't had those conversations, but I'm pretty sure that you can extrapolate the same responses across those lines as well. I'm sure most kids would probably share the same responses - I really don't think that alternative students are that much different. In fact, I don't think they are different at all.

I still stand by my ascertation that some kids will feel threatened and dislike the forcing or pressure from their parents, while some may not. Just because they come off of a ride laughing, does not mean that it hasn't affected them in a negative way. Perhaps it will hit them later, or, maybe next time they might be anxious on a ride? No one really knows how it will affect them, until after it's happened, and that is just not an experience that I am willing to impart on my kids. I have only relayed my experiences with lots of kids who didn't appreciate being forced to do stuff - I don't think being at-risk is really important in this respect. Whether it's an at-risk family, you, or Donald Trump, it doesn't matter, as I was touching on the act of forcing your kids to ride a ride in an amusement park. None of this has to do with finances at all... Some kids might be ok with it, and some might not. Some parents are ok with it, and some are not...

Thanks, Tiger

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

The other issue involved is safety. I can clearly remember several children who were scared of Snow White who by the end of the ride the parents were physically restraining them to keep them in the car. If that child had slipped out they could have been seriously injured or worse. You would be surprise the number of kids that try to escape the rides when they panic.

I also don't get the mindset that if you don't force your kids to ride rides that means they will be lazy young adults. Forcing a terrified (and by terrified I mean a chidl who is screaming or crying loudly, stating they are terrified, physically resisting, etc. Not just a tear or two) to ride a theme park ride is not the same thing as forcing a child to do chores, eat their vegetables, write a thank you note, etc. Equating the two is kind of silly IMHO. A parent can respect a child's wish to ride or not ride a ride but still expect them/force them to do all the things I just named. It's not one or the other.

 

[PunkyBrewster]

Okay, I admit I have not read every post in this thread, so I apologize if this has already been said...

It is a completely different thing for an adult to refuse a ride than a child, especially if this is the child's first visit to Disney World. As an adult, you have a clear idea about what you can handle, and what you can't. Further, as you age, you are able to tolerate different things.

For a child, they don't know what they like until they try it. If your child continues to refuse to eat his or her vegetables, and cries everytime you place it in front of them, they will never learn to like vegetables unless you force them to eat it.

Same principle goes for rides. For example, my husband and I were standing in line for POC, and a family was standing behind us with two children, one of which was crying and scared to ride. I turned around to the child and started talking about how this was one of my favorite rides... a boat ride, just like Its a Small World. This calmed the child down enough to actually ride POC, and turns out, the kid loved it!! As we got off the ride, the parents thanked me for helping them out, and I'm sure that child will have great memories of riding POC, something they would have otherwise missed out on had the parents just given up. Not only that, but their older child also would have missed out (unless the parents agreed to split up).

I agree that in certain circumstances, a ride may not be appopriate for small children. But classic rides, not big coasters or anything like that, I am okay taking a child by the hand and urging them to get on the ride.

 

[snykymom]

You have hit the main points of Tiger's flawed argument but I would also add that her opinion is skewed by her contact with at-risk children. It is likely that in working with honor students one would find they were often forced to do things by their parents as well. The cause/effect relationship is being used incorrectly.

OK, my kid's an honor student, Dean's List at college every semester, smart, polite, hard-working, very social. She is, by nature, a bit cautious - she hangs back to see what's going on before jumping into a new situation, but jump she does, in her own time. She's not fearful, simply not a daredevil.

And I never forced her on a ride.

Okay, I admit I have not read every post in this thread, so I apologize if this has already been said...

It is a completely different thing for an adult to refuse a ride than a child, especially if this is the child's first visit to Disney World. As an adult, you have a clear idea about what you can handle, and what you can't. Further, as you age, you are able to tolerate different things.

For a child, they don't know what they like until they try it. If your child continues to refuse to eat his or her vegetables, and cries everytime you place it in front of them, they will never learn to like vegetables unless you force them to eat it.

Same principle goes for rides. . . .

But classic rides, not big coasters or anything like that, I am okay taking a child by the hand and urging them to get on the ride.

Sorry, as far as I am concerned, the "same principle" does not go for rides or anything else as unimportant. Yes, I forced my kid to do lots of things she didn't want to do, including trying new vegetables. (And now she's an adventurous eater - even tried elk at V&A last trip.) But a ride?? I cannot think of anything so unimportant. But it was important to me that she understood that I validated her feelings and that fear is an important feeling to listen to. I didn't want her to feel as a teenager that, if a friend says, "Try it, it's not scary" (whatever it was), that she couldn't trust her gut - after all, if Mom says I don't know what's scary or not, maybe I really don't know. (Yes, this is hyperbole, but it's no more hyperbole than those parents who have posted that allowing a kid not to go on a ride that frightens them will turn them into milquetoasts who will never try anything new.)

Those parents who say you must not give into a kid's fears - did you force your kid to sleep without a nightlight or did you allow them to grow out of their fear of the dark developmentally? Did you tell them they were silly if they were afraid of the monsters in the closet or under the bed, or did you do a monster hunt? After all, isn't giving into those fears unreasonable and you'll raise a milquetoast?

Or how about the parent we saw several years ago at MK evening EMH. It had to be about 11:30 or so, the kid was about 6. She was crying, and Mom was literally dragging her by the arm to the Haunted Mansion. The Mom stops and screams at the kid, "We paid a lot of money to have fun and we're going to have fun!!" The kid was clearly exhausted. But we can't allow our children to choose our itinerary, can we? Or they'll be spoiled brats!

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My parents always tried to force me on rides. I have a phobia of falling (which at the time they didn't realize) and was terrified of anything with a drop, even a small one. I remember crying in the middle of Pirates because my mom had assured me there were no drops (she forgot about the little one). Having been badgered, pulled, bribed, forced crying onto rides and left alone in parks at a fairly young age to wait at the exit while my parents went on the coasters, I should be scarred and hateful towards them for the way I was treated.

I'm not.

I wish they had recognized my fear of falling, but how could they have known? I didn't realize it myself until I was 16 and forced myself onto roller coasters, and found that my completely rational understanding of the ride's safety had nothing to do with my completely irrational terror.

No, I respect their choice. I remember crying, terrified to go on the Haunted Mansion. They forced me. I remember being fine until the end with the hitchiking ghosts, when I screamed bloody murder. I remember getting off the ride, and loving it. It has been my favorite ride ever since. Even Pirates, that my mom accidentally "lied" to me about, was a good experience. It only took one screaming, crying attempt, and I loved them all afterwards. Like pulling off a band-aid, it was a necessarily painful part of my growing up.

For every roller-coaster they dragged me on or made me cry for, there was a dark ride or some other form of "torture" that they were correct to drag me on. If they hadn't, I don't know if I would have ever determined to go on a roller coaster once I was old enough to do so. I love roller coasters! I just didn't know it! I still hate drops, but I try to look past that and enjoy the rest of the ride. That's what my parents taught me: even if there's a scary or uncomfortable part of a ride, the remainder is often too fun to miss.

 

[Ava]

I fully admit to forcing my partner to try roller coasters. She has been a big ride chicken ever since she was a kid - she had never even rode Space Mountain until I got her to try it because since its inside she couldn't see what it did. The only coaster she'd ever ridden was BTMRR, and that's only because when she was little her mom tricked her onto it by telling her it was a train ride and she ended up liking it. So after much reassuring & coaxing from me, she agreed to try SM on our trip to WDW a few years ago. Needless to say she loved it, I think we rode it at least 5 times. She also tried (and loved) Everest. She read a lot about that one and was kind of on the fence until we got there. The one thing she really doesn't like, which keeps her from most coasters, is big drops. But EE doesn't really have any of those, so she agreed to try it. Next trip she might try Rockin' Rollercoaster.

I know an adult is different from a child, but I'm hoping when our DD is old enough for rides we can get her to at least try everything once.

 

[LuvsTinker]

Yep forced my DD on many a ride. She has autism and anything new is difficult for her. First time on Sorin' and she was crying so hard the CM said he would not start the ride with her crying. By the time the ride was ready she was calm but still scared. After ward I got "was that all" and it is now known as the ride "that makes the air fresh". A must do every trip. With that in mind I would never force my DD on BTM but she has rode splash.

I really think you need to distinguish a parent forcing it on a child so the parent can ride and one that is forcing new experiences for the child's benefit. DD rode HM for the first time last Feb. after 3 trips we skipping it. Now we go with the you gotta try it once then you can skip it if you want, but only for rides I know she will enjoy after the initial fear.

Denise in MI

I'm in the same boat with my son who has autism.

Even with Space Mt. that he loved in 2006, when we went back in Sept. 2008, he acted panicked and scared. I didn't drag him screaming and kicking but I did push the issue with him whinning the whole time in line. Turns out he LOVED IT again!

I don't force the issue with rides I know will definitely scare him but I do strongly encourage him, with almost bribing, to try something that I know he'll be alright with.

I believe to a point I need to help him over come unwarranted fears.

We've also used YouTube to watch rides before going and it has helped to calm his fears of some rides.

 

[PunkyBrewster]

I realize not everyone will agree on this topic, and there have been many good points given on both sides as to why children should or should not be forced onto rides. However, I disagree that rides are "unimportant."

Other than to have fun and relax on vacation, rides are an important lesson in socialization and maintaining an openess to trying new things. I admit I am probably one of the biggest ride chickens there are, and yes, my mother forced me to go on several rides at Disney World where I was crying and fearful. However, I learned several things about myself in the process. Trust in my parents and other authority figures was one of those things. Confidence in my ability to overcome fear was another. Overall, I feel I am more well-rounded person for having put my trust in my mother that she wouldn't "force" me to do anything that would harm me in any way. Frankly, I plan on "urging" my own children when they are old enough in the same way.

Now I am not saying that this is the only way to instill these values in your children. However, I would not put down another parent for using the rides at Disney World as a learning experience for their children, and I certainly don't think that they should be lambasted for their opinions. Several of the posters on this board disagree, and that is certainly their perogative. I encourage parents to read their children and determine the best tactics for them.

 

[snykymom]

I think there's a huge difference between "encouraging," "urging," and "bribing" a child, and bodily dragging and carrying a kicking and screaming child onto a ride. It's the latter behavior that I (and I think many of the other posters) are talking about here. And I've seen it too many times.

Sometimes I think that there are people who believe that it's not a Disney vacation until someone ends up crying!

 

[sgrabin]

We went to Animal Kingdom and wanted to ride the river rapids. Our 4 year old did too....until we got to the front and she chickened out. It was part of her drama queen coming out and part of the unknown, but she was protesting.
We made her go because we knew (like everyone knows their own child) that she would love it.
We felt horrible at first, but she ended up LOVING it and talks about it all the time. Whenever we talk about going on a new ride she asks if it will be as fun as the river rapids.

She wasn't kicking and screaming by any means, but I'm sure to the unaware bystander seeing her cling to my arm for dear life while burying her head in my stomach sure made it look worse than it was.
Just my situation to offer another point.

I agree with this quote. Our child is all ready and excited to get in line for rides, then, after being in line for an hour all of a sudden he doesn't want to get in the car/boat/whatever. Well the whole rest of the family just waited an hour, he was fine with getting in line, so no big dramas allowed now. As soon as the ride is over, he's glad he went too.
There can be nothing worse than one child ruining a $4000 vacation for everybody else just because they're "moody".