Upfront declaration... I was a full time teacher (now a perm. sub.) I have 3 kids, and a wide spread between the first 2 and the last one...
I get the projects, I get the venting - btdt!!
First I found out with the older ones the teachers may give letter grades, but the report cards just has check systems, so I let it go.. its ok to "fail". Both (ok probably all) boys were "gifted" on the IQ, but both were special needs, and were denied entry into the coveted "gifted" program... I learned to let that go too, because I found the gifted program in our school district (not yours, ours) was mostly extra home projects, and extra writing assignments, which meant less time for social activities, both boys need (or lacked) social time (sporting events, band, etc) So I gave up!!
BUT, because I sub, I also learned all the styles of lots of different teachers - and some have unrealistic expectations. For DD I realize she needs to engage her mind, so instead of games, or tv, projects help engage her... BUT one tool I try to help her with, that the teachers have to give is a RUBRIC...
Having the rubric helps her focus on what the teacher is grading, or how they weigh certain aspects of the project. For instance, I find dd surfs the web looking for just the right picture - so time management - I now limit her surfing time, and I have asked the teacher for site reccomendations... like enchantedlearning.com and she has to stay there - or find it in a magazine.
I do think its easier for me to say, than for me to do - let it go!! I think that venting is a great release, and I'm still learning that art!!
eta the link to enchanted learning
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/Home.html
Some teachers do buy the membership, if you scroll down and look at the categories on the side bar, there are lots of free materials you can access!! hth