what is the point of a garter?
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DoomBuggy0922
DIS Veteran
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I'm not having one. I think the tradition of a garter toss is creepy and outdated--- but that's just me!
PartofDisney'sWorld
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Yeah I don't know if we are having one either. We aren't doing the bouquet toss or the garter toss, but DF still wants to get under my skirt to pull it off. 
chryscrazy
Mouseketeer
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My df doesn't want to do the garter toss. He's Jordanian and had never even heard of it. I'm wearing one anyway though...I just feel like I'd be incomplete without one for some reason. So it does feel kinda pointless to me but I'm doing it anyway.
Gareth& Hayley
Mouseketeer
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Also not having one, they really are not my cup of tea..
jtanddolly
DIS Veteran
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Here is some light reading on the "tossing" traditions of the flowers and garter:
The practice of the tossing the bridal bouquet is believed to be an outgrowth of an idea that was popular in the 14th century, particularly in early French tradition. It was considered lucky to get a fragment of the bride's clothing. In those days, the bride was treated poorly. Guests would grab at her wedding dress in order to tear off pieces. Although brides continued to believe that they would not be wearing their wedding gowns again, they objected to its wanton destruction. They looked for an alternative and, instead began the custom of throwing personal articles, such as the garter, to the guests.
The practice of throwing the garter survived and became more focused. People not only subscribed to the superstition that whoever "won" the bride's garter (la jarretière) was lucky, but also that their good luck could be carried through . . . for it was believed that a man who gave his beloved a bride's garter would be guaranteed his loved one's faithfulness. It was up to the best man to "steal" the garter, tear it into small pieces and distribute it to the wedding guests.
The British practiced another custom, "tossing or flinging the stocking." Groomsmen would actually invade the bridal chamber and steal the bride's stockings. Then they would take turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging the stockings over the heads of the couple. The notion was held that whoever threw the stocking that landed on the groom's nose, would be the next to marry. Understandably, brides objected to this tradition because it was both undignified and embarrassing and the stocking throw tradition soon disappeared, evolving into the bouquet and garter toss tradition that many brides and grooms follow today.
In the 17th and 18 centuries, today's garter was a silk sash tied well below the bride's knee. The groomsmen considered the sash to be a trophy. Whichever groomsman "captured" the garter would wear it in his hat for the remainder of the celebration.
In keeping with the adage "something old, something new. . . ," brides may choose to wear a blue garter or sew a blue ribbon into their undergarments. This, it is thought, will protect the bride against bad luck or unhappiness. This concept may date back to the Order of the Garter, which was symbolized by a blue ribbon. It is one of the oldest orders of knighthood, and knights were known as the consummate protectors of women. The mantle of a Knight of the Garter was worn by royal bridegrooms over their wedding attire. In 1893, at St. George's Chapel in Windsor, Prince Edward married Alexandra and became the last royal to wear the blue velvet mantle.
Many brides today hold fast to the tradition of a garter toss. The groom removes and tosses the garter, right before the bride tosses her bouquet. Custom has it that the unmarried man who catches the garter must place it on the leg of the unmarried woman who catches the bouquet. It is said that they two will be the next to marry (not necessarily each other). For the sake of balance and egalitarianism, some brides choose to throw a bouquet instead of tossing the garter. Some simply throw a bouquet to the bridesmaids, while the groom throws the garter to the groomsmen.
With some couples, the custom of tossing the bouquet, albeit a very old one, has come under some criticism. It seems that in the rush for the bouquet, young children have been caught underfoot, and even adults have been injured. This actually prompted some musicians and photographers to include a liability release from the bride, should she insist, against their advice, to follow this tradition.
Some modern brides feel that the custom is embarrassing and tacky, because it singles out the single women who are with all good intention "dragged" to the floor to participate in the ritual. Those feelings have motivated changes. One way of "saving the tradition," but sensitizing it, is to have all the female guests, not just the unmarried ones, participate in the bouquet toss.
There continue to be objections raised both about tossing the bouquet and about tossing the garter. Couples today consider including new, alternative traditions. One such option is to call all the girls in their teens to come up to the bride's side and present each with a flower from a premade bouquet. Or, in order to avoid a stampede, the bride may call them all up and give out bags of candies or token gifts to the young girls and teens. Another alternative to tossing the bouquet and/or the garter is to throw dried rose petals, white sequins, confetti, or ribbons, or to blow bubbles and not to expect or invite anyone to catch anything. The bride might also choose to call up her bridesmaids. With the use of a premade, break-apart-bouquet, which is designed to separate it into smaller ‘arrangements,' she can give each attendant a "piece." This is a lovely, public way to thank her bridesmaids for their participation in the wedding party.
There is an elegant alternative to the 'tossing' tradition is for the bride and groom, which works particularly well with mature couples. The bride and groom ask all the married couples to stand. Then by groups of five or ten years, the married couples are asked to be seated as the length of their marriage is mentioned. The couple that remains is the one married the longest. They are "rewarded' with the bridal bouquet and the garter." Still another delightful tradition takes its place after the cake cutting. The couple say a few words and then ‘as a token of love and appreciation,' they give the bouquet to her parents.
Some couples make use of tradition, using the bouquet toss as a way to acknowledge a special person. It can, for example, be a way to single-out an engaged friend or relative. A centerpiece or corsage may be substituted for the traditional toss bouquet. Whatever the form of presentation, it's best to avoid a surprise and ask the recipient, in advance, for their okay. By "clearing" the concept, any embarrassment is avoided. Not everyone is comfortable being singled out in front of an audience, even for something pleasant.
The florist can be asked to replace the toss bouquet with a corsage or table centerpiece. At an appropriate moment in the reception, the bride can give the "refashioned" toss bouquet to her mother, mother-in-law or grandmother.
In that same vein, the bouquet may be dedicated to a deceased loved one. Mention may be made of this gesture at the reception or in the program. This is a moving way to make a loved one's memory part of a special day.
In Finland, there is another "tossing alternative." The single women form a circle around the bride, who has been blindfolded. The bride turns slowly in one direction and the women, holding hands, turn in a circle in the opposite direction. The single women's circle stops and the bride reaches out and hands her bouquet to the woman facing her. This works especially well when there aren't too many single women guests.
Whichever version the couple chose, the bouquet and garter toss are best done right after the cake cutting. This allows the caterer to cut and serve the cake while guests are being entertained. Many couples are dispensing with these two traditions altogether, while some hold fast to what they have known, like and wish to replicate.
Old traditions are hard to break, but bridal couples must be mindful that just because something has been around for a long time, doesn't mean that fashioning new rituals isn't perfectly acceptable and perhaps even preferable. The new alternatives they design, may in time become traditions in their own right. There are no hard and fast rules about tossing the bouquet and the garter. With this custom, like many of the other aspects of a wedding celebration, should reflect the wishes, sensibilities and sensitivities of the couple and their guests.
The practice of the tossing the bridal bouquet is believed to be an outgrowth of an idea that was popular in the 14th century, particularly in early French tradition. It was considered lucky to get a fragment of the bride's clothing. In those days, the bride was treated poorly. Guests would grab at her wedding dress in order to tear off pieces. Although brides continued to believe that they would not be wearing their wedding gowns again, they objected to its wanton destruction. They looked for an alternative and, instead began the custom of throwing personal articles, such as the garter, to the guests.
The practice of throwing the garter survived and became more focused. People not only subscribed to the superstition that whoever "won" the bride's garter (la jarretière) was lucky, but also that their good luck could be carried through . . . for it was believed that a man who gave his beloved a bride's garter would be guaranteed his loved one's faithfulness. It was up to the best man to "steal" the garter, tear it into small pieces and distribute it to the wedding guests.
The British practiced another custom, "tossing or flinging the stocking." Groomsmen would actually invade the bridal chamber and steal the bride's stockings. Then they would take turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging the stockings over the heads of the couple. The notion was held that whoever threw the stocking that landed on the groom's nose, would be the next to marry. Understandably, brides objected to this tradition because it was both undignified and embarrassing and the stocking throw tradition soon disappeared, evolving into the bouquet and garter toss tradition that many brides and grooms follow today.
In the 17th and 18 centuries, today's garter was a silk sash tied well below the bride's knee. The groomsmen considered the sash to be a trophy. Whichever groomsman "captured" the garter would wear it in his hat for the remainder of the celebration.
In keeping with the adage "something old, something new. . . ," brides may choose to wear a blue garter or sew a blue ribbon into their undergarments. This, it is thought, will protect the bride against bad luck or unhappiness. This concept may date back to the Order of the Garter, which was symbolized by a blue ribbon. It is one of the oldest orders of knighthood, and knights were known as the consummate protectors of women. The mantle of a Knight of the Garter was worn by royal bridegrooms over their wedding attire. In 1893, at St. George's Chapel in Windsor, Prince Edward married Alexandra and became the last royal to wear the blue velvet mantle.
Many brides today hold fast to the tradition of a garter toss. The groom removes and tosses the garter, right before the bride tosses her bouquet. Custom has it that the unmarried man who catches the garter must place it on the leg of the unmarried woman who catches the bouquet. It is said that they two will be the next to marry (not necessarily each other). For the sake of balance and egalitarianism, some brides choose to throw a bouquet instead of tossing the garter. Some simply throw a bouquet to the bridesmaids, while the groom throws the garter to the groomsmen.
With some couples, the custom of tossing the bouquet, albeit a very old one, has come under some criticism. It seems that in the rush for the bouquet, young children have been caught underfoot, and even adults have been injured. This actually prompted some musicians and photographers to include a liability release from the bride, should she insist, against their advice, to follow this tradition.
Some modern brides feel that the custom is embarrassing and tacky, because it singles out the single women who are with all good intention "dragged" to the floor to participate in the ritual. Those feelings have motivated changes. One way of "saving the tradition," but sensitizing it, is to have all the female guests, not just the unmarried ones, participate in the bouquet toss.
There continue to be objections raised both about tossing the bouquet and about tossing the garter. Couples today consider including new, alternative traditions. One such option is to call all the girls in their teens to come up to the bride's side and present each with a flower from a premade bouquet. Or, in order to avoid a stampede, the bride may call them all up and give out bags of candies or token gifts to the young girls and teens. Another alternative to tossing the bouquet and/or the garter is to throw dried rose petals, white sequins, confetti, or ribbons, or to blow bubbles and not to expect or invite anyone to catch anything. The bride might also choose to call up her bridesmaids. With the use of a premade, break-apart-bouquet, which is designed to separate it into smaller ‘arrangements,' she can give each attendant a "piece." This is a lovely, public way to thank her bridesmaids for their participation in the wedding party.
There is an elegant alternative to the 'tossing' tradition is for the bride and groom, which works particularly well with mature couples. The bride and groom ask all the married couples to stand. Then by groups of five or ten years, the married couples are asked to be seated as the length of their marriage is mentioned. The couple that remains is the one married the longest. They are "rewarded' with the bridal bouquet and the garter." Still another delightful tradition takes its place after the cake cutting. The couple say a few words and then ‘as a token of love and appreciation,' they give the bouquet to her parents.
Some couples make use of tradition, using the bouquet toss as a way to acknowledge a special person. It can, for example, be a way to single-out an engaged friend or relative. A centerpiece or corsage may be substituted for the traditional toss bouquet. Whatever the form of presentation, it's best to avoid a surprise and ask the recipient, in advance, for their okay. By "clearing" the concept, any embarrassment is avoided. Not everyone is comfortable being singled out in front of an audience, even for something pleasant.
The florist can be asked to replace the toss bouquet with a corsage or table centerpiece. At an appropriate moment in the reception, the bride can give the "refashioned" toss bouquet to her mother, mother-in-law or grandmother.
In that same vein, the bouquet may be dedicated to a deceased loved one. Mention may be made of this gesture at the reception or in the program. This is a moving way to make a loved one's memory part of a special day.
In Finland, there is another "tossing alternative." The single women form a circle around the bride, who has been blindfolded. The bride turns slowly in one direction and the women, holding hands, turn in a circle in the opposite direction. The single women's circle stops and the bride reaches out and hands her bouquet to the woman facing her. This works especially well when there aren't too many single women guests.
Whichever version the couple chose, the bouquet and garter toss are best done right after the cake cutting. This allows the caterer to cut and serve the cake while guests are being entertained. Many couples are dispensing with these two traditions altogether, while some hold fast to what they have known, like and wish to replicate.
Old traditions are hard to break, but bridal couples must be mindful that just because something has been around for a long time, doesn't mean that fashioning new rituals isn't perfectly acceptable and perhaps even preferable. The new alternatives they design, may in time become traditions in their own right. There are no hard and fast rules about tossing the bouquet and the garter. With this custom, like many of the other aspects of a wedding celebration, should reflect the wishes, sensibilities and sensitivities of the couple and their guests.
I kind of like the idea of wearing a Garter.
However, in the UK we dont really garter toss in the UK - and I dont think I will be 'Tossing' it at the wedding guests! lol But I think at the consumation of the wedding... DF will quite like the idea!
Might be fun!
hehe
XXX
However, in the UK we dont really garter toss in the UK - and I dont think I will be 'Tossing' it at the wedding guests! lol But I think at the consumation of the wedding... DF will quite like the idea!
Might be fun!hehe
XXX
brer rabbit 28
Dude, you were like, 'Whoa!' and then we were like
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The British practiced another custom, "tossing or flinging the stocking." Groomsmen would actually invade the bridal chamber and steal the bride's stockings. Then they would take turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging the stockings over the heads of the couple. The notion was held that whoever threw the stocking that landed on the groom's nose, would be the next to marry. Understandably, brides objected to this tradition because it was both undignified and embarrassing and the stocking throw tradition soon disappeared, evolving into the bouquet and garter toss tradition that many brides and grooms follow today.
I'm not having any of this carry on!
I'm not having any of this carry on!
DoomBuggy0922
DIS Veteran
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- Sep 23, 2010
- Messages
- 1,835
I kind of like the idea of wearing a Garter.
However, in the UK we dont really garter toss in the UK - and I dont think I will be 'Tossing' it at the wedding guests! lol But I think at the consumation of the wedding... DF will quite like the idea!
hehe
XXX
I do agree with this! I think if you wear one for... private funsies
then it is quite cute! The British practiced another custom, "tossing or flinging the stocking." Groomsmen would actually invade the bridal chamber and steal the bride's stockings. Then they would take turns sitting at the foot of the bed flinging the stockings over the heads of the couple. The notion was held that whoever threw the stocking that landed on the groom's nose, would be the next to marry. Understandably, brides objected to this tradition because it was both undignified and embarrassing and the stocking throw tradition soon disappeared, evolving into the bouquet and garter toss tradition that many brides and grooms follow today.
I'm not having any of this carry on!
Wow!!! Where the heck do they think of these traditions?!?! I don't know, I may have to add this spectacle to my wedding reception... what do you think?!?!?
One_Song
DIS Veteran
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- Feb 9, 2011
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- 782
I won't be wearing one. From a practical view, I think it would be visible through my dress, which is pretty slinky. Also, and maybe I'm a prude, but I've never been to a wedding where the garter toss didn't feel a little awkward. We're not including any traditions that don't have some meaning or importance to us.
Capt. Minnie
Earning My Ears
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- Apr 4, 2011
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- 58
I am wearing one and we are doing the garter toss. My DF wants to do it. Since he hasn't really cared too much about other details I thought it was important to do it even though I do not want to.
Deb loves Disney
Keep Moving Forward
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- Jun 18, 2006
- Messages
- 1,020
I didn't wear one and I didn't miss it. We really didn't have a formal reception with dancing, etc so there wasn't exactly a good time for DH to go digging around under my dress for it .
I say do what you feel comfortable doing!
. I say do what you feel comfortable doing!
hehe
Goofy4Ever
DIS Veteran
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- Nov 18, 2006
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- 789
Dolly, thanks for posting this! I really like the idea of honoring the longest married couple at our reception. I think we are going to do this instead of the traditional way. Most people at our wedding are already married, so this will be perfect!
Lisa
Lisa
I love the tradition of the garter toss and the bouquet. I've always seen the garter toss only to the single men and the bouquet to the single ladies. After they are both tossed the couple is supposed to share a dance. I've also seen at the begging of the wedding where all the single ladies initial the bottom of the brides show sole and check to see whose names got rubbed out (supposedly they will be the next to marry)
that-a-way
or This-A-Way
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- Apr 27, 2011
- Messages
- 88
We are also having a garter, and participating in the toss.
In our opinion it brought some fun into the reception. One of my favorite bits is when the couple that caught each get to share a dance - then they get to split off and dance with the bride and groom. It's a chance to have extra special one on one time/photos with some of your nearest and dearest on your wedding day.
I can't wait to see who catches them at our wedding - We only have a few friends/family attending that will be single, so for us it's going to be a riot!
In our opinion it brought some fun into the reception. One of my favorite bits is when the couple that caught each get to share a dance - then they get to split off and dance with the bride and groom. It's a chance to have extra special one on one time/photos with some of your nearest and dearest on your wedding day.
I can't wait to see who catches them at our wedding - We only have a few friends/family attending that will be single, so for us it's going to be a riot!
petal4monkey
Earning My Ears
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- Apr 11, 2011
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- 35
garter toss isnt big in the UK. in fact i'd never really heard of it till now. we have the bouquet toss though.
our wedding will be an escape wedding and it will be us, our parents (both still married) and our sisters (we each have 1. df's is getting married in June and my sister has been engaged for the last 8yrs) so the toss is of little importance. i dont know if i'll wear a garter. it might be fun for the *ahem* wedding night, but it doesnt have any significance so i doubt it. i'll wear one on the hen night though
our wedding will be an escape wedding and it will be us, our parents (both still married) and our sisters (we each have 1. df's is getting married in June and my sister has been engaged for the last 8yrs) so the toss is of little importance. i dont know if i'll wear a garter. it might be fun for the *ahem* wedding night, but it doesnt have any significance so i doubt it. i'll wear one on the hen night though
kharmagirl
Mouseketeer
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- Sep 10, 2010
- Messages
- 124
As one of the older, non-married gals at weddings, I always dreaded the bouquet toss. It felt like I would be one of the only women out there along with the 12 year olds. I enjoyed it when I was younger, but by time I hit my early 30's it was more humiliating than anything. I brought this up with several of my single girlfriends (all my age) recently who will be at my wedding and asked them if they wanted me to do it. They all shouted a resounding "NO"! They also felt at this age it was more humiliating than anything. So although it may be fun for everyone else to watch, those forced to partake in the ritual don't always enjoy it. So - we definitely will not be doing the tosses. I do like the idea of giving them to the longest married couples though.
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