What is everyone buying for tween girls?

[Kitzka]

Robin, you and Lara both bring up good points. It is a fine line. You want your kids to "fit in" and have friends, but you also want them to think for themselves and have good self esteem. And I know all about the mean girls, my Savannah has a few in her class this year. It makes my heart ache for your little girl or anybody's little girl to be teased or treated that way. Luckily, Savannah has three other nice little girls so they pretty much stick together. Savannah is our oldest, so we've been able to "shelter" her pretty well, but with three younger kids it will be harder to keep them away from the "teen" stuff, becaue they have an older sister. I'm not really looking forward to this whole teenage journey we are about to embark on at our house.

PrincessTiffany-you are so right it is sad but somewhere along the way some parent said to their child "yuo are worth something because of how yuo look, what you wear or what you own." it may not have been on purpose and they probbaly did not know they did it. but it happened and it spread.

there are days when my 10 year old asks for another (in a long line) of stuffed animals, that i want to scream. she has about 8000 (or it seems that way). but then i remember that she is only 10 and if the money spent on those little critters keeps her a bit more innocent and a bit younger for a little longer isn't it worth it?

i also tend to belive that DD has good self esteem. she has a few close friends at school but she also has friends from when she was in day care and dance friends. becasue of her different options i like to think that she is above the catty stuff that happens in a group. if the girls at school are being mean DD usually spends more time with the girls form dance or if the dance girls are being mean she spends more time with day care friends of family. not sure how this will work as she enters high school but to me a few close friends who make yuo feel good about yourself are worth 3 times their weight in gold. there are mean girls in DD's school and i try to advise her to stay away from them.
To the PP with the daughter Hannah. Bravo to yuor daughter whatever age she is. It takes guts and a good head on her shoulders to stick up for someone else. Good job mom and dad!

Lara

 

[MKCP5]

I agree, it is society. I also blame the media. I think it's playing a big part in having our girls grow up too fast.

By the way . . . Roll Tide!

But it is our job as parents to teach them how to be strong and independent thinkers. That others can only make you feel bad about yourself if you let them. It can be tough, but they will be stronger women for the effort

 

[DisneyMomx7]

DD (11) is getting a ping pong table, karaoke machine, arts and crafts stuff, lip glosses, some CDs and DVDs and clothes (gymboree, justice, gap) and webkinz.

DD (9) is getting some clothes for her AG doll, Bitty baby stroller, Uggs, IPOD Nano, Itunes card and a cupcake maker.

It's so hard when they get to that in-between age. I guess I'm lucky, they don't even know what a Coach purse is!

 

[Andrea from PA]

I have to weigh in the Name Brand stuff --

I stopped growing (height & feet) at age 11 or 12, so I think the cost of Uggs and the like are well worth it IF the child has stopped growing. I am "cheap" in most repsects, but I LOVE my Uggs and think the money is worth it since they will last forever if taken care of properly. (I buy new insoles for them every 2 years).

I have a DD 7 yr old & she KNOWS what is IN. She has teenage cousins. Some "IN" things she loves and others she just finds stupid (jeans that look worn out or have holes).

Just my 2 cents -- I think girls in the tween age should know the value of a dollar and know that no female can EVER have ALL the IN things as styles change quickly and the items are so overpriced due to hype. This is the age when they need to decide QUALITY vs STATUS -- expensive things are good if you will get your money out of them, not good if you personally will only use them when they are IN.

Basically, I'll be 90 and still wanting my Uggs -- I won't care how out of it I am. And I'll never have a top of the line car or cell because I beat that stuff up.

For those of you who have tweens (boy or girl) who don't know what is IN, don't worry about it and sit back and enjoy it while you can!

 

[cinderlexa's mom]

Please keep the ideas coming...my DD11-1/2 seems to have most of these things except a laptop, cell phone, TV in room, makeup nor a Coach purse. She won't be getting any of these for a couple of years.

She already has UGGS, Nano, Wii, DS, ipod speakers, NF jacket, camera/video recorder, karaoke...blah, blah, blah.

BORING!

I miss the days of AG, Gymboree, LTD2, Hannah Montana, etc. (At least that was cute and fun!)

She really wants another dog...not sure I want to go there. We only buy things for Christmas and her birthday...SO it would be great to know what the "cool kids" have-to-have to bridge us to her next birthday.

How fun.

 

[cinderlexa's mom]

Thought about this more and wanted to add:

As to the morality of it all...my parents refused to buy-in to materialism when I was young. They bought for me not much more than exactly what was required or needed. They could afford it, but decided against it.

At the time, I resented them for it--and I'm not sure the lack of indulgence "made me a better person". I started babysitting at a very young age and spent all my earned $ trying to make up for what they wouldn't buy me. So then, I had little $ to do fun kid/teen things with my friends! I always figured my parents didn't like me--I knew they could afford to buy me a Swatch! (Remember those!)

I no longer resent my parents for that issue, of course, but I still have no idea which route is better.

When DD11 really wants something that "all" her friends have, I do understand how that feels at her age. Being a "tween" is confusing and all they really want to do is "fit in" somewhere. 1/2 the time they still want to be a little kid, the other 1/2 they're going on 25. Hormones, changes, school performance pressure, peer pressure! Geez, it's no better to be a kid these days, than an adult with an 8-5 job!!!

And I can understand the parent that is just barely making ends meet not spending $$$ on their child...but when parents can afford to provide all these "wants"... the kids know that! It doesn't make it right, but it's there. It's tough to always say "no", just because I said so, or because you can't have everything, or don't you have enough.

And for anyone who worries about kids in this situation, I think/hope it can all be balanced out if the parent really tries. My DD11 volunteers, is exposed to diverse social economic cultures in our travels, gives to charities, and is only "gifted" on special occasions. (Birthday and Christmas).

Whew! It is a messy situation. I don't really see a "fix" in the near future.

 

[PatsGirl]

And I can understand the parent that is just barely making ends meet not spending $$$ on their child...but when parents can afford to provide all these "wants"... the kids know that! It doesn't make it right, but it's there. It's tough to always say "no", just because I said so, or because you can't have everything, or don't you have enough.

I agree that parents who can afford it should indulge their children OCCASIONALLY. I also agree that we as parents should do our best to make sure our children are not the outsiders in their age group. But... I think that parents who give their children everything or nearly everything they want are doing a big disservice to them. Someday these same children need to provide for themselves and there will be many young adult years that they will not be able to afford the best/biggest/most trendy unless these same parents are willing to subsidize their spending during those years.

It is also a great lesson for kids to learn that they don't need to be the best dressed or most popular. Teaching them the value of a dollar will last them a lifetime.

Too many kids are of the "I deserve it" mentality and alot of parents feed right into it. Just take a look at the what parents buy their kids "graduating" from preschool, elementary school, and middle school. In my house, good grades (or at least your best effort) was expected and you deserve nothing but a pat on the back for moving on to middle school

 

[RobinFabulous]

I agree that parents who can afford it should indulge their children OCCASIONALLY. I also agree that we as parents should do our best to make sure our children are not the outsiders in their age group. But... I think that parents who give their children everything or nearly everything they want are doing a big disservice to them. Someday these same children need to provide for themselves and there will be many young adult years that they will not be able to afford the best/biggest/most trendy unless these same parents are willing to subsidize their spending during those years.

It is also a great lesson for kids to learn that they don't need to be the best dressed or most popular. Teaching them the value of a dollar will last them a lifetime.

Too many kids are of the "I deserve it" mentality and alot of parents feed right into it. Just take a look at the what parents buy their kids "graduating" from preschool, elementary school, and middle school. In my house, good grades (or at least your best effort) was expected and you deserve nothing but a pat on the back for moving on to middle school

I'm trying VERY hard to teach my children that they're lucky to have what they do. Yes, there are people that have more, but there are also people that have less, and some that have much less. I pick and choose what I give into, like the jacket.... It was Northface, but I know she'll wear it at least two years, and she always preferred the cheap Hanes jackets before, so I could indulge her once. Her Ipod has been a good investment, as well as her GBA, but will I buy $200 jeans? Heck no! Would she have gotten these items if she wasn't a straight A student or was getting in trouble? Nope....

 

[kcromley]

the next few years should be interesting at best, given the current and projected economic decline in the US (let's see, there were a million foreclosures in 2008, and a projected 250,000 jobs lost). Some of these children are in for a real surprise.

 

[mum4jenn]

Our 11yr old Dd is fully aware how things have been around here this year. As I have written on some other threads, my Dh works for Cooper Tire and ever since Hurricane Ike he has only been working about 24 hours a week (A normal work day is 12 hours...so he has gone from making pretty good money ech week to just barely enough to pay the mortgage and a coupl other bills each month. We are depending on my check as a school lunchroom manager to pay all the other bills and it has been VERY tough. I do not make much money at all.

That said our Dd understands too well how things have been. She still believes in Santa (or acts like she does) and in her list for Santa this is what she asked for: Some Webkinz, something nice for Mama, something nice for Daddy, and a new Binder for school. When I saw that list I burst into tears!! SHe is getting some Webkinz!!

 

[Goofy'slady]

WoW! I posted to this thread a few days ago and like I said I have 2 girls one is 10 1/2 and the other is 3 1/2. The key with combating this craze of name brand everything is BALANCE!

Our oldest does get lots of brand names but we spread it over a period of time and she also gets lots from WalMart, Target, Lands End and various other places as well as GAP, OLD NAVY and Justice.

I think it helps that my husband and I are young and we're up on trends and often times find ourselves letting our daughter in on was 'cool' and what's 'not'- we're the "COOL" parents. The only thing she has been persistant on is getting an Ipod. My husband and I have talked and we will get her an Ipod but a Shuffle not the Nano - at first we considered it but after talking we thought we'd start her off small and if she proves to be responsible for the Shuffle than perhaps later on we'll get her the Nano. She only wants the Nano cuz it has a screen to tell her what song is playing and the Shuffle doesn't. She thinks screen ='s "cool". We told her that either she can expect a Shuffle or something else entirely different. She pouted - we weren't phased WE'RE HER PARENTS. We know what she's ready for and not her friends or the people on tv.

She's will also get the privlege of a day at the spa when we go on our ski trip to Aspen! Now how many kids will get to go skiing in Aspen this year let alone a spa day? We also let her know in order to get trips to spas, Aspen, even her 5th grade graduation present to Disney this May upcoming year has been paid for already and she'll get the priveledge of staying on property with dining plan, a BBB experience and all the works. She's been to WDW several times but we've always rented vacation homes but this year for her graduation present we thought we'd make it a bit more special by staying on property. She knows that in order to do that some things she sees everyone else with that she can't have or in some cases like the Ipod thing that she can still have it just not the most expensive. IT'S about balance.

T.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

Our 11yr old Dd is fully aware how things have been around here this year. As I have written on some other threads, my Dh works for Cooper Tire and ever since Hurricane Ike he has only been working about 24 hours a week (A normal work day is 12 hours...so he has gone from making pretty good money ech week to just barely enough to pay the mortgage and a coupl other bills each month. We are depending on my check as a school lunchroom manager to pay all the other bills and it has been VERY tough. I do not make much money at all.

That said our Dd understands too well how things have been. She still believes in Santa (or acts like she does) and in her list for Santa this is what she asked for: Some Webkinz, something nice for Mama, something nice for Daddy, and a new Binder for school. When I saw that list I burst into tears!! SHe is getting some Webkinz!!

That made me cry a little too! Hope your husband's company picks up some hours soon. My husaband owns two large tire and automotive businesses and he sells Cooper tires. He has also been a bit slow over the last couple of weeks. I think after the first of the year things will start picking up though. Hope ya'll have a Merry Christmas!

 

[shelly3girls]

Like a PP mentioned it is all about balance. When I grew up we went through good times and bad. My parents did an excellent job teaching me the importance of saving and tithing yet still giving me many of the things I wanted. I was spoiled on my birthday and Christmas but I never expected or thought I deserved anything. Even though I basically had everything I wanted I grew up knowing I would have to work hard and do well in school. My parents always said if you want to afford the better things in life you need to work hard and earn a good job. I always appreciated everything I had and never looked down on others who had less or up to others who had more. I was raised in a Christian home where we were thankful for all of the blessings placed on us and never viewed them as a right or that we deserved them.

DH and I now take the same approach with our kids. They do not receive everything b/c they ask. They are rewarded for hard work in school (not necessarily A's just working your hardest) and good behavior. They are thoughtful and caring children who appreciate everything they are given. If it ever comes to a point where they do not appreciate something given or done for them then things will change. But for now they will continue to receive many of their wants. They will save allowance and birthday money to help purchase things they want. They will receive Uggs for Christmas and choose to wear them with their Target jeans or Hollister jeans both of which they appreciate.

There are plenty of children who are spoiled and turn into brats but just b/c a child receives many big ticket items does not mean they are spoiled. I do not have to keep wants from my children to prevent turning them into brats. There are many ways to teach children to appreciate a dollar and respect their things.

 

[Capt. Jack]

My parents are going to Italy over Christmas, so we have already done Christmas with them. We allowed the little one (age 8) to open one of her big ones then.

She has already gotten her laptop and on Christmas she will get a new television for her room, Ltd 2 clothing, a couple of Wii games, some CD's, computer games and gift cards for her favorite stores. There are a few other things too, but I can't remember them all.

The school district we are in allows her to know more of the "in" things so that can be tough, but it is okay. I want her to be able to enjoy the things that she wants to enjoy. She is a good kid that stays out of trouble when she is in public (all kids have their moments at home), she makes great grades and studies pretty hard. She deserves these things and it is up to me to make it happen during the holidays.

During the year is another story though. Then it is up to her and her allowance. Saving versus spending is always tough. That is the one thing she needs to work on. It is like someone said earlier about the one cookie now or two later philosophy. Still gets me too especially if there are Reece's Cups involved...

 

[Kitzka]

not sure if it has been mentioned on this thread but DD jus asked for the girl tech stylin studio. so that may be a big gift for girls this year about 9-12 yrs old. i checked it out at LT2 and it looks cute but not sure i want to pay $65!

lara