What does anybody think?

[rigsby25]

My daughter's wedding will be at Swan Dolphin on April 23 at 3:00 pm. She wants to go out to dinner that night at the Spirit of Aloha, but since she is having a formal reception at home, she doesn't really want to pay for the dinner for everyone (about 40 people). Its about 40-50 per person. As a matter of fact - she hasn't even planned anything for after the ceremony, just people are on their own and she would like them to join her, but if they choose to do something else, that's okay. What does everyone think? Would you be offended? She is planning on sending a week's calendars with a couple of meal get togethers, Boma's for breakfast, Whispering Canyon for lunch, and then on that night Spirit of Aloha for dinner. On each meal notation, she would add the price and reservation number.

 

[Pezalicious]

That's kind of tough. Some people would be understanding, but others might be offended. Most people assume a reception of some kind if a given, and since people are traveling to go to your daughter's wedding, they might feel slighted. What about doing a brief reception of just h'orderves?

 

[Kristen14]

I'm thinking that people may be offended. Usually when someone invites you to dinner it means that they are treating, especially if it's after a wedding. If people are flying in from out of town they may expect to be treated to dinner at least once. However, if these people care enough to come to a destination wedding then they must be close family or friends, so they may not be offended if you spread the word (verbally) that there wont be a reception afterwords, but people are free to meet up at the Luau.

 

[disneygirl_wdw]

I will be getting married at the Swan on Jan. 3rd. We are not having a reception after the ceremony, but are having an optional dinner at Ohana's. Everyone is responsible for paying for their own meal, since we are 2 broke college students having a small reception when we get back. No one has complained to me and I got the idea from my FMIL. I just made sure to put a note on some of the response cards (the ones we don't talk to very much) so everyone knows. I originally wanted to pay for everyone's however it didn't work into the budget.

 

[rigsby25]

Thanks for your comments. I am thinking of having a little something back in our hotel room. We are in a 2 BR villa at Old key west. I thought some cookies, fruit, cheese, meat kind of tray things. Maybe cake/champagne? Does that seem ok? But I have given her more than we originally planned (monetary gift put towards their house, wedding site, and villa for her and bridal party).

 

[dakcp2001]

I must say, I am REALLY REALLY interested in hearing details & trip reports, pics etc of Sawn & Dolphin weddings!!! So I beg you please rigsby25 & disneygirl_wdw to please fill us in on the details!


I think it would be nice to do something for the guests who fly there for the ceremony. I think an informal cake & champagne reception back at the resort would be perfect if that is all that you can afford. Get some cheese & cracker trays and some deli meats etc along with the cake & champagne. I think the bride & groom need to spend some time with their guests & thank them for coming. If there is time to do that AND the luau then add the luau info & cost to the calendar that you send out to everyone. Otherwise, your daughter might need to do the luau another night. For the guests, they will then have the option of opting out of the luau at that point,without feeling they got left out of the festivities. Just make sure they know that the dinner is optional & that theyw ill pay for themselves, Im sure a lot of people would be ok with that.


PS if you cannot afford it, then you canot afford it plain & simple, people are really coming to share the wedding & celebrate that.

 

[Pezalicious]

I think that would be fine. The main thing is for the bride and groom to spend some time with their guest, after all, they all traveled and spent a lot of money to be there for their wedding. It shouldn't be a wam, bam, thank you type of thing.

 

[caryndisneydiva]

i agree that you should try to do something, even if its small, after the ceremony for the guests...my guests are already starting to get aggravated because i'm not paying for park hoppers for them!!! and i'm having a full reception...