What do you wish was socially acceptable?

[Disney Ron]

Well - in New England, dudes will wear shorts out in public if the temperature is above 30 degrees.

I'm one of them.

 

[mrodgers]

So happy to read that others wear shorts even in winter too

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

Well - in New England, dudes will wear shorts out in public if the temperature is above 30 degrees.

See that quite a bit in NY here in the burbs, guys wearing shorts outside in the winter. My neighbor does it too.

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

Ahhh.. but y'all that was the thing socially done for generations because the idea was women were this women were that. This thread is about what you wish was socially acceptable you're asking things to not change and adjust and move as the times change.

I'll spin it and say I wish it was socially acceptable for it NOT to be considered gender specific.

See I was taught to hold doors open for people in general..I'm a woman. That is about manners. I would help out anyone with a coat if need be. I've done that with my husband at times. That is about manners. I don't help out all the time, there's no need to. I know y'all are talking about always helping the woman out.

Etiquette that's more tied to rising when someone enters a room.

But again y'all what you're talking about was the thing to do socially for so many generations. So my spin is to say I would want it to be socially acceptable to not define something such that you're talking about based on gender AND for something to change and it not be automatically discussed as if changing what is done means you lack manners and etiquette and most certainly that the change is viewed as sad.

FTR I really don't know anyone who views it as demeaning, not caring whatsoever about someone rising when you enter the room, or not actually needing help with a coat doesn't equate demeaning. None of the women I know view it as demeaning, I'm sure some do though.

If I were to go on a date, not happening as I am long married hehe, I would admittedly like it. What I find sadder is this lets jump into bed first date or third date considered long?? I think that is so so sad. What happened to romance and all that, geeesh. It's about etiquette and showing you find this person special, especially in this day and age.

 

[tinkerdorabelle]

double post

 

[prairie_girl]

Not liking animals. It’s ridiculous to not trust people who don’t love dogs and cats. Why not have the same standards who don’t like kids?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Not liking animals. It’s ridiculous to not trust people who don’t love dogs and cats. Why not have the same standards who don’t like kids?

I know that's been mentioned before on another threads. If you (general you) don't like dogs or cats no biggie, same as if you didn't like kids. But an animosity, intense disgust, etc..that's a bit different. People who don't think twice about kicking animals are totally different than you're not really a dog or cat lover. It tends to say more about the inner workings of people when it goes far far beyond a mere dislike.

There should be a same standard towards kids and pets in so far as not liking them. You shouldn't feel required to like kids (it's also why so many women are judged when they do not have children as it's an expectation that all women love children and want to have them) nor should you feel required to like pets. Distrust runs deeper than just dislike. I wouldn't trust the person who shot the leg off the neighbors foster dog a few years ago because that person assumed the dog was a pit bull (it wasn't even close but that shouldn't even matter as the dog wasn't doing a darn thing much less anything to deserve to be shot at), just as an example. But if you're not into cats it's whatev.

 

[prairie_girl]

I know that's been mentioned before on another threads. If you (general you) don't like dogs or cats no biggie, same as if you didn't like kids. But an animosity, intense disgust, etc..that's a bit different. People who don't think twice about kicking animals are totally different than you're not really a dog or cat lover. It tends to say more about the inner workings of people when it goes far far beyond a mere dislike.

There should be a same standard towards kids and pets in so far as not liking them. You shouldn't feel required to like kids (it's also why so many women are judged when they do not have children as it's an expectation that all women love children and want to have them) nor should you feel required to like pets. Distrust runs deeper than just dislike. I wouldn't trust the person who shot the leg off the neighbors foster dog a few years ago because that person assumed the dog was a pit bull (it wasn't even close but that shouldn't even matter as the dog wasn't doing a darn thing much less anything to deserve to be shot at), just as an example. But if you're not into cats it's whatev.

That’s a good point. I wish we didn’t have a dog but I always make sure he has food, and water and gets outside enough. Plus, he’s decided I’m his alpha so he’s always next to me. I couldn’t imagine wanting to hurt him.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

That’s a good point. I wish we didn’t have a dog but I always make sure he has good, and water and gets outside enough. Plus, he’s decided I’m his alpha so he’s always next to me. I couldn’t imagine wanting to hurt him.

My best friend isn't really a pet lover. They had an outside dog that was a farm dog from day 1. She's not the most lovey dovey pet owner but she had a shed, with adequate water, a heat source for the winter, bedding and she took care of the dog in terms of the vet. She'll never admit it but she did have a soft spot when it came to getting the dog a bed. That girl spent at least 45mins in the At Home store trying to find just the right bed in terms of size, softness and thickness lol. She'd never hurt that dog either and when she passed away she was genuinely sad but to her getting another dog wasn't really that important she just isn't a pet lover. That doesn't bother me knowing that though.

 

[prairie_girl]

My best friend isn't really a pet lover. They had an outside dog that was a farm dog from day 1. She's not the most lovey dovey pet owner but she had a shed, with adequate water, a heat source for the winter, bedding and she took care of the dog in terms of the vet. She'll never admit it but she did have a soft spot when it came to getting the dog a bed. That girl spent at least 45mins in the At Home store trying to find just the right bed in terms of size, softness and thickness lol. She'd never hurt that dog either and when she passed away she was genuinely sad but to her getting another dog wasn't really that important she just isn't a pet lover. That doesn't bother me knowing that though.

I admit I took a little too much joy out of finding a new winter jacket for him LOL

 

[La Stilla]

To wear victorian and medieval gowns, like, anywhere, anytime.

 

[emer95]

To wear victorian and medieval gowns, like, anywhere, anytime.

Let’s make this a thing!!

 

[Pink Partridge]

I wish it was acceptable to roll my eyes when someone happily announces that they are having their fourth child, when they are already on every ounce of government assistance to begin with. I am talking specifically about my cousin. We all politely pretend her having another baby is "so wonderful". It is not. She can't afford the ones she already has.

 

[tzolkin]

To wear victorian and medieval gowns, like, anywhere, anytime.

My middle daughter has been sewing and getting creative with her clothing (capes, corsets, etc). The other day the librarian asked if she was dressed up as a character and she replied, "No, these are just my normal clothes". Librarian replied that she LOVED it and seemed genuine, so that was refreshing. Unfortunately most people do not find it acceptable for everyday wear (at least not when you are beyond a certain age).

 

[DLgal]

I wish honesty and bluntness was socially acceptable.

Too often it is interpreted as rude. My kids are autistic and they are teenagers now. They are not capable of understanding and using nuanced "socially acceptable" things like small talk, insincere questions where you don't really care to hear the answer (ex: how are you?), and otherwise faking kindness to appease others. They speak when spoken to but don't initiate social contact with others just to have something to say. I wish this was acceptable in our society. Americans are too outgoing as a whole and share too much about their lives. My kids have been scolded for being "rude" a few times and it always gets me. They are NOT rude, they just don't care to converse with strangers in an elevator, thank you very much.

In addition, they struggle with intonation and often speak with a flat affect rather than a sing song lilt, and people HATE that, for some reason.

Maybe we need to move to France...

 

[tzolkin]

I wish honesty and bluntness was socially acceptable.

Too often it is interpreted as rude. My kids are autistic and they are teenagers now. They are not capable of understanding and using nuanced "socially acceptable" things like small talk, insincere questions where you don't really care to hear the answer (ex: how are you?), and otherwise faking kindness to appease others. They speak when spoken to but don't initiate social contact with others just to have something to say. I wish this was acceptable in our society. Americans are too outgoing as a whole and share too much about their lives. My kids have been scolded for being "rude" a few times and it always gets me. They are NOT rude, they just don't care to converse with strangers in an elevator, thank you very much.

In addition, they struggle with intonation and often speak with a flat affect rather than a sing song lilt, and people HATE that, for some reason.

I feel you. My oldest struggled quite a bit with the nuances of "teenage girl" interactions when she was in middle/high school.

Even at a younger age it was noticeable. I remember once the girl next door rang the doorbell and asked if DD wanted to play. DD said, "no" and that was it, closed the door. I had to explain to her all the other aspects of the social interaction. Yes, technically she answered the question accurately-- she was simply not in the mood to play right at that moment. But from the other girl's perspective there were all sorts of other things going on-- DD didn't like her, she must have done something to offend her, they were in a "fight", etc. When I started explaining all of it and how DD needed to have an excuse/explanation for why she didn't want to play and to ensure that the other person's feelings weren't being hurt, I realized how exhausting it can be to interact with people. It would be so much easier if you could just answer yes or no without worrying about the relationship and the other person's feelings.

 

[Shellsbutt]

I wish honesty and bluntness was socially acceptable.

Too often it is interpreted as rude. My kids are autistic and they are teenagers now. They are not capable of understanding and using nuanced "socially acceptable" things like small talk, insincere questions where you don't really care to hear the answer (ex: how are you?), and otherwise faking kindness to appease others. They speak when spoken to but don't initiate social contact with others just to have something to say. I wish this was acceptable in our society. Americans are too outgoing as a whole and share too much about their lives. My kids have been scolded for being "rude" a few times and it always gets me. They are NOT rude, they just don't care to converse with strangers in an elevator, thank you very much.

Both of my sons are quite frank, they are men of few words, lol. I think that's just fine. My older son cannot stand to make "small talk", he doesn't understand the point. He does realize it is a part of his work life though. They have been called aloof, unemotional, distant, etc. If they have something important to add, they will speak The world could use a little more quiet.

 

[La Stilla]

Let’s make this a thing!!

My middle daughter has been sewing and getting creative with her clothing (capes, corsets, etc). The other day the librarian asked if she was dressed up as a character and she replied, "No, these are just my normal clothes". Librarian replied that she LOVED it and seemed genuine, so that was refreshing. Unfortunately most people do not find it acceptable for everyday wear (at least not when you are beyond a certain age).

@emer95, here in my country there was a cosplay for the very first time last year. We are quite behind, lol. Never gonna happen, but ohhh, I so wish for this. Why can't anyone wear just what they want? Seriously, don't think it's harming anyone at all.
@tzolkin How nice that is. Yes, true....they assume that you are just cosplaying. But maybe if more people would actually wear it like anyday clothing, it would become acceptable as a style, not only as a cosplay.

 

[DLgal]

My middle daughter has been sewing and getting creative with her clothing (capes, corsets, etc). The other day the librarian asked if she was dressed up as a character and she replied, "No, these are just my normal clothes". Librarian replied that she LOVED it and seemed genuine, so that was refreshing. Unfortunately most people do not find it acceptable for everyday wear (at least not when you are beyond a certain age).

My 14 year old son "bounds" frequently as Disney and Super Mario characters. He buys solid color baseball caps from Michaels and uses fabric paint to create "character heads" then wears coordinating clothing in the character's color. He dresses like this every single day, to some extent. It's always very obvious "who" he is being. Everyone who sees him figures it out and LOVES it. He even coordinates his masks to match! His teacher told me that he loves it, and it shows how genuinely creative my son is, and it's "so much fun!" I love that my son doesn't give two flips about "being cool" or wearing the popular clothing brands. Luckily, where we live, it is very much socially accepted to dress like this, as it is a very tolerant and open minded city.

 

[emer95]

@emer95, here in my country there was a cosplay for the very first time last year. We are quite behind, lol. Never gonna happen, but ohhh, I so wish for this. Why can't anyone wear just what they want? Seriously, don't think it's harming anyone at all.
@tzolkin How nice that is. Yes, true....they assume that you are just cosplaying. But maybe if more people would actually wear it like anyday clothing, it would become acceptable as a style, not only as a cosplay.

And hoop skirts provide social distancing. Win/win!