What Do You ThinkOf This?(wake etiquette)

[CamColt]

Im curious as to what other people think of this situation, as my opinion may be biased.
At a wake, do you think it is proper for the grown son of the deceased to be drinking a bottle of Sprite in the viewing room, right infront of the casket? Or for his teenage kids to have slurpee type drinks in big colorful cups with straws in the viewing room also? Oh and the Sprite was opened with a big fizz noise, during the time the VFW people came in to do a little prayer.
Any opinions?

 

[DukeStreetKing]

I think it showed a lack of respect to the deceased and to the people who came to the viewing. More and more in this world, I am seeing just complete lack of etiquette and class in many, many situations.

 

[gymnasticsmom68]

At a wake, do you think it is proper for the grown son of the deceased to be drinking a bottle of Sprite in the viewing room, right infront of the casket?

Innapropriate or not, his parent just died and I think he can do whatever he wants, and he should be able to do it without having to worry about how people are perceiving him at his Father/Mother's wake.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Originally posted by gymnasticsmom68
Innapropriate or not, his parent just died and I think he can do whatever he wants, and he should be able to do it without having to worry about how people are perceiving him at his Father/Mother's wake.

 

[TiggerPiglet]

I have to agree with gymnasticsmom, he probably wasn't even thinking about what he was doing. The only thing on his mind was probably that his father was dead, not that he had Sprite in his hand, JMHO.

What I find inappropriate at wakes are the people who use wakes to socialize with one another and crack jokes. Granted I've only seen this done at wakes for older people, but even so, I find it weird.

 

[onecoolmama]

I think that it is a little inappropriate, however like the pp said he just lost his father...you have to give a little leeway.

 

[KarenC]

Having been through too many of these, I can understand how this would happen. Many wakes last for several hours. There isn't a "dinner break" where people stop coming to pay their respects. I can remember feeling very guilty leaving the chapel to get something to eat at my father's, father-in-law's and sister's wakes. You feel like you need to greet the people who come to pay their respects. And with all the talking you do, you do tend to get thirsty. They may have felt it was ruder to leave to get something to drink, than what they did. I would tend to cut them some slack!

 

[gallaj0]

I'm not sure it was inappropriate, but then again, my family's Irish, and we love a good wake.

I always thought the wake was a less "formal" affair than the funeral; taking place in a church and cemetary, that was the place for real formality.

 

[CamColt]

Interesting.
Gymnasticsmom made a good point, however I tend to agree more with DukeStreeetKing. Grieving or not, you should have some class. To be honest, I thought I heard once that food and drink were not allowed in funeral homes. I think thats why it shocked me so much to see it. But from the majority of replies so far, I guess its not that unusual. Thanks for the replies.

 

[LUVDSNY04]

Here most funeral homes do not allow food in the viewing area.

 

[ScarlettO]

I know My MIL never left the viewing room for hours on end, and with the constant crying, it wouldn't bother me if she was drinking something....crying tends to dehydrate you.

 

[C.Ann]

My DH's family invented the word "inappropriate"..

Inappropriate is:

Showing up at the viewing wearing cut-off's, sandals, and a tee shirt that reads, "I'd rather be at Bingo"..

Having the trunk of your car open in the parking lot with a cooler full of beer and standing there slugging them down till you can't even find your way INTO the viewing..

Wearing a bright red, strapless, low-cut (front AND back) dress that bearly covers your butt and basically screams "I've got to get back to my corner - I'm losing money here!!"

Standing next to the casket and asking in a very loud voice, "What are they gonna do with her stuff?"

Asking each person as they arrive to pay their respects, "Are you still coming to the pig roast on Saturday? Don't forget to bring beer!"

Plopping a baby down in the lap of the widow or widower and saying, "Here - watch him for a minute while I run to the store for cigarettes.."

----------------

I could go on and on - but you really don't want to know what "inappropriate" is...........

 

[phyllis1966]

C.Ann,



...and I thought I had some interesting in-laws!

 

[battricia]

I agree with gymnastics mom.

tricia.

 

[Planogirl]

At the last wake I attended, the funeral home offered coffee and soft drinks. I see nothing wrong with people drinking something during the time they spend there, particularly close family members who are feeling miserable enough as it is.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

T-A-C-K-Y

 

[TLinden16]

I find it a bit inappropriate, especially the slurpees. The viewing room just doesn't seem like the place to be sucking down a slurpee. It just seems out of place to me.

I understand what everyone saying about it being long, and how talking makes you thristy, but I don't think I'd be having a soft drink at a wake. My mom's wake was from 4:00-8:00 (but felt a lot longer even with the steady stream of people), and when I got thirsty, I walked down to the overflow room and got a cup of water from the water cooler.

My sisters did bring snacks for their kids, but the kids had to stay upstairs in an overflow room while they ate them. My sisters would have been mortified if the kids walked into the viewing room with goldfish and juice boxes.

Karen

 

[CamColt]

OMG, C Ann! I guess the drinks domt seem so bad compared to that. Yikes!
Im still ROFL at "Id rather be at bingo".

 

[goofy4tink]

Have to agree with you here Camcolt. I don't think a wake is the place for this. When my mom was waked last fall, I had a bottle of water beside my seat (which I never got to sit in!). There was a separate room for the 'younger' folk to be in if they wanted to have a snack/soda or to just kibbitz. Yes, we did have some laughs but that would have been okay with my mom. But, not a slurpee or cracking a Sprite!! It's beginning to seem that we can find an excuse for just about any kind of behavior these days. No one has to make the effort to be respectful anymore.

 

[Jeanny]

Well, after sitting in the hospital for weeks watching my Dad deteriorate, I was lucky enough to develope an annoying dry cough from the hospital. At his wake, I had THREE bottles of water and a bag of cough drops because standing, talking and crying from 4pm-9pm made my resistance very low!!! Oh, yeah and a box of Altoids~that was my dinner!!!

So give him a little slack with the sprite, maybe that's all he drinks?? The slurpies on the other hand, should have been left in the other room.