What do you think about putting children on a leash?

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aspen37

Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes.
Joined
Dec 28, 2006
ah...inattentiveness.


Seems to be the most common cause (that and a lack of willingness on parents to actually enforce discipline and be a parent instead of wanting to be a playmate/friend to their child)
WOW you weren't with us but you sound like you know what happened. He was disciplined my his mother. He is one of those kids who loves to takeoff if you turn your head. She has more than one child do you expect her to not pay attention to the other child and just stare at the younger one all day long? :sad2: :sad2:
 

JDUCKY

Local Yocal
Joined
Dec 13, 2008
WOW you weren't with us but you sound like you know what happened. He was disciplined my his mother. He is one of those kids who loves to takeoff if you turn your head. She has more than one child do you expect her to not pay attention to the other child and just stare at the younger one all day long? :sad2: :sad2:
There are responsibilities that come with being a parent. You're right, I wasn't there. But if this child is more prone to running off, well, the mother needs to be more of a disciplinarian and not the "Oh, Johnnie. Please don't run off like that".
 

aspen37

Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes.
Joined
Dec 28, 2006
There are responsibilities that come with being a parent. You're right, I wasn't there. But if this child is more prone to running off, well, the mother needs to be more of a disciplinarian and not the "Oh, Johnnie. Please don't run off like that".
When we found him his mother told him "you know better than taking off" she then swatted him on his butt and then put the wrist to wrist leash on him. He cried but then got over it. Later on I asked him why he runs off, he said "its fun".

My sister was one of those kids who didn't care what the punishment was, she did a lot of things that got her in a lot of trouble and she never cared. I was one of those kids who hated to disappoint my parents and hated getting in trouble. We are all different and what works for some doesn't all ways work for others.

I agree that some parents don't parent anymore and want to be the kids friend instead of a parent.
Where I work a lady was in with her toddler the other day. I work in a lumber and hardware store. She was talking to another employee while she let her toddler wander off. The child was pulling stuff off the shelves and running all over the place. I finally told the mother that her child is going to get hurt and to please watch her. The lady was annoyed with me but finally went and got the child and picked her up.
 

Zeebs

DIS Veteran
Joined
Oct 8, 2007
My girls have had plenty of scrapes and bumps and bruises. I was never afraid to spare the rod. I didn't beat them, of course, but a swat on a diapered butt or a smack on the hand got their attention and they learned. That's how discipline is instilled. They need to know that crossing boundaries will have consequences.

I also know that I, as the parent, have the responsibility of making sure my kids stay within my sight and don't wander off. I made sure they didn't pick up something off the ground and eat it. I made sure they knew to stay quiet in a movie theater (or else I'd leave so as not to annoy others). You see, I taught my children to respect others and to know what their boundaries were.

I was a .... parent.


Going, "Oh, no, Johnny. Please don't do that." will only result in the child ignoring the parent and continuing to do what they want. Why not? There's no consequence in it for them!


edit: And what's making it worse these days is the ever-present cell phone. Can't tell you how many times I've seen a parent busy talking on the phone or texting someone while the children were running to and fro or doing something that they would normally be disciplined for.
But people have different views of things that are important and that need disciplined for. Why is one persons list better/worse than anothers?

If you let your child wander around the park - which is what we do, (my kids are 4 and 2) we are being inatentive if they get further than 2 metres in front of us, if we rein them we are inatentive as we can't be bothered to watch the child. Providing they are not harming other people why does it matter to you what option we take.

You can't win really damned if you do and damned if you don't.

I also take my child out of a movie if they are noisy, we respect other people around us but I also know you can't please everyone.

We have a stair gate when the babies are starting to crawl and until they know how to go up and down stairs. We teach we things that won't kill them first and then move up the scale. Bleach is not in the bottom unlocked cupboard but some breakable things are so there are cupboards they have been told they can't go in and they aren't locked, but the consquence is getting in trouble not ending up in hospital with poisoned with bleach if they decide on any particular day that they will try it on and not listen to Mum and Dad.

Again I don't care how others do it, as I am not their parents, I am just doing the best I can for my kids.

Kirsten
 

Cosmo.Kramer

The jerk store called...
Joined
Jun 18, 2009
It's crazy though that 'having a leash' on a child is bad, but giving them a spank when they're bad, isn't. :sad2:

I am a parent, I have a 20 month old. And yes she wears a safety harness. Not a leash. A safety harness or that's what they call them in the UK. I used it alot of the time to keep Mollie either by our side or to stop her falling over.

I do not treat her like an animal and I'm sorry but yes, it does give her a bit of freedom to walk about without 'legging it' That certainly doesn't make me a bad parent, and for those that say, if they can't have a toddler walk side by side with them then they shouldn't be in the parks, I just :sad2:

I would not have a restraint on a child that is older but I feel that they can be required, and again this is not to say I am right or I am wrong, however I feel I am doing what's best for my child's safety. Anyone, and I mean anyone who has had children can sympathise with the fact, that, especially the independent little ones will not hold your hand. That is not THE WAY THEY ARE BROUGHT UP. That is what a child will do. I put a child on my harness to protect her and to 'keep her out of people way and harm', so....


...bring on the 'you don't know how to be parent'. And you know what? Maybe I don't, but i'm 24 and I think I my damned best.

Thank you one and all. :thumbsup2
 

Suellen

DIS Veteran
Joined
Nov 25, 2007
I am glad you can watch your children 100% of the time, and clearly nothing has ever happened to them no bumps, cuts, trips to hospital, etc. Excellent. What a great parent you are. I suppose you are able to enforce discipline as well without yelling, smacking, and all the other stuff that all the "good" parents can do.
I don't need to watch my 100% of the time ~ because a lot of the time we are at home ~ where they don't need that kind of supervision. But while we are out in a large crowded place. You bet I am watching them or holding a hand or carrying them or DH is holding a hand or carrying :thumbsup2

And there are bumps, bruises and cuts. Because I allow them to be children and LEARN what is okay and what isn't. Granted I wouldn't give them a pair of scissors to run with or anything. Letting them explore and learn boundaries at HOME is what makes it easier when away from home.

I do enforce discipline without yelling, smacking or any the "other stuff" that is insinuated. It is called gentle discipline and I will tell you what ~ it is 100 times harder than smacking a kid and moving on with life. In the end though they learn how to deal with situations on their own and make good choices.

So, yeah, some of it has to do with HOW you bring them up. My children know that running away in a large crowd is a bad choice. They wouldn't do it. You can teach your children to respect you without hitting.

In the end though it is no one else's responsibility to parent your child but you ~ so you should make your own choices in how you parent and practice consistency ~ and who REALLY cares what other people think?

Do you care if people think you are leashing your kid so you can pay more attention to things around you than your kid? I would hope not.
 

squirrel

DIS Veteran<font color=deeppink>
Joined
Aug 19, 1999
I hope you ok'd this with your sister.

Yeah the you leash your dog why not your kid doesn't work for me either. It is exactly BECAUSE I leash my dog that I wouldn't leash my child. They simply remind me of an item for an animal and my children are not animals (most of the times).

Also there is very little chance my children will run off and bite someone ~ while the possibility that my dog might is only slightly hirer ~ they won't make me put my kid down if she HAPPENS to (not that I think my child or my goldendoodle would ever bite someone).

And yes I do allow my child to play in the unfenced backyard by herself ~ because I watch her. I don't have to stay out there every second because she knows her limits.

We rarely ever strapped the stroller straps because my DD1 didn't need it. DD2 hated it.



They only "strapping" we do of our children is in the carseat ~ and IMHO that is the same as a seatlbelt which I wear myself.

I don't do anything to my children I would want done to myself.

AGAIN JMHO! Everyone has one. I don't judge you if you put a leash on your kid. But lots of reasons people have given don't hold with me either. Of course if I see you I don't know your reason so I don't judge.

Do what YOU are comfortable doing.
My sister wanted me to use it for her oldest child! I never felt like she needed it-she listens well and stays close. I doubt she would care if I used it on the younger one. I bet she would want it on her.

I never said I was going to use it. I said I will if I need to. My job is to keep her safe. If she won't stay near me and stop running off, then I will use it. Like I said before, she listens better to me than her mom and so I don't think I will have to use it.
 
  • bellebookworm9

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 25, 2009
    I am not a parent and don't plan on being one for some time. When we went to Disney I was 13 months and 3 years, and I was in the stroller both times, I believe. I know my mom had a wrist-to-wrist for me that she used at the mall. I don't have "nursemaid's elbow" and the wrist-to-wrist hadn't caused me any injury that I know of. Now my younger brother is a different story. He is mentally retarded and on the autism spectrum and has the cognitive abilities of approximately a 5 year old. He is 15 now and to this day is a runner. He is 1 on 1 at all times. He has no sense of fear AT ALL. There are times when he absolutely doesn't want to hold your hand and he is very, very strong. He had a safety harness when he was little. It kept him from running off and it gave my mom peace of mind. For the record, my mom is a great parent and I respect her immensely. How many 18 year olds do you hear say that?
     

    Cosmo.Kramer

    The jerk store called...
    Joined
    Jun 18, 2009
    Do you care if people think you are leashing your kid so you can pay more attention to things around you than your kid? I would hope not.
    Glad you added 'think' here. I really would however have a problem with someone saying that I am paying more attention to things around me than my child.
     

    Suellen

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Nov 25, 2007
    Glad you added 'think' here. I really would however have a problem with someone saying that I am paying more attention to things around me than my child.
    I was referring to a bunch of post were people say that parents leash their kids because the parents are "inattentive" and "always" see the parents who have leashes not paying attention to the kid.

    Like I have said. I could care if YOU (general you here) leash YOUR child. ;)
     

    Cosmo.Kramer

    The jerk store called...
    Joined
    Jun 18, 2009
    I was referring to a bunch of post were people say that parents leash their kids because the parents are "inattentive" and "always" see the parents who have leashes not paying attention to the kid.

    Like I have said. I could care if YOU (general you here) leash YOUR child. ;)
    I put the harness (I refuse to call it a leash) on our daughter very rarely. If anything, it works as a deterrent as we say to her 'if you walk nicely, we won't put the harness on', however as she's getting older, its less and less a requirement.

    :thumbsup2
     
  • mjkacmom

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 20, 2006
    I think it is horrible to put a child on a leash, I have 2 kids and if they run off or wander away its my fault for not watching, if they are a runner or wanderer that is because I raised them that way and let them get away with it. I know I will get thats kids being kids or you cant watch them every second of the day and other flames but if my child ran/wandered or was uncontrollable that I had to put a device that is used on an animal on them to control and watch them I would look in the mirror.
    I am ashamed to admit that I was once a naive, judgemental parent about issues like this. My 2 oldest were so independent, and I would look at the clingy little ones at playgroups and parties, and assume their parents must be the type that hover. Then I gave birth to the clingiest child on earth - could leave her alone in a room! :lmao: I never had a problem with having kids run away, and not listen. Then I gave birth to #5, and realized that many of those parents with out of control toddlers/preschoolers were probably doing the best they could.

    I look in the mirror a see a pretty good mom, who does her best, and has some pretty great kids. The clinger is now a performer, and the runner is an amazing athelete, and fastest kid in his whole grade (with some lingering self control issues :rolleyes1).
     

    kathleendsm

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jul 23, 2009
    I'm am a bit shocked to see the people who are advocating hitting a child over a harness backpack, which is basically a stroller without wheels. Great job, hitting a child and teaching them that violence is the answer.

    I used to judge the leashes too, but then, I knew plenty of stuff before I became a parent. :rotfl2: We had a harness backpack for my daughter, who was lightening quick and neither liked the stroller nor constantly having her hands held. We didn't use it that often, and only in places like the airport when we could logically be distracted for a little while by something like, say, ticket agents or airport security. It's a tool like any other. We'd use one on our 2 year old son at WDW this May if he could walk.
     

    bellebookworm9

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    May 25, 2009
    Sorry, just different cultures/expressions from what I'm used to. No offense meant.
    It's okay. Just out of curiosity, what is it referred to in Scotland? I'm not trying to be facetious, I'm honestly just curious.

    Call it whatever you want. It is offensive to many, many, many people.
    I find it offensive when someone is called that by another person who is just trying to be mean and I will yell at people when they say it. When I'm discussing a medical diagnosis, I don't think it's offensive. My mother works in a group home, and I am going to school for speech pathology. It is a term I've grown up around; that is what it is called. I wasn't trying to be offensive.
     

    Jacoby 46

    Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow
    Joined
    Aug 10, 2008
    The thread title here caught my eye, LOL. It reminds me of when I came to the DIS, back in early '99, another DIS'er, Snoopy, now gone from here :sad2::sad1: had a trip report in which she discussed having her toddler (now a teenager) on a leash. I have not read this thread here, but by the looks of it with the number pages, I would say it is similar to Snoopy's, lots of 'viewpoints', lots of opinions, LOL. :lmao: When I talk with Snoopy, I still reminder of that, as well as her double stroller from hell experience in AK, :lmao::laughing::laughing:

    Miss ya, Snoop.
    Awww, I miss Snoops, too!! :hug:
     
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