What do you tell your Child who questions whether the characters are real or not?

[crk1971]

We have a very inquisitve 4yo and he wants to know whether the characters at Disney are real or pretend. We are struggling how to answer this question and whether the wrong answer will ruin the make believe part of his childhood.

Because he is a little leary of anything scary (i.e. Cruella Deville) my wife suggested that we tell him all villians at Disney are people dressed up and pretending but the people in costumes (i.e. Mickey) are real.

Any suggestions you can give us on how to handle this situation is greatly appreciated. We want to be able to put this to the test for Halloween, and we hope someone has had a similar experience and can pass their wisdom on to us.

Thanks in advance and we look forward to your suggestions

C&J

 

[quasar4legs]

I'm afraid I'm probably not much help. Our son had just turned four the first time he went to Disneyland. I was excitedly pointing out all the disney characters and by mid morning my son leaned over and whispered in my ear "you know they're just people dressed up, don't you?
I was sooooo sad, I thought at 4 he would be believe.

It is a tough one but it would not have worked for our son to tell him that some characters were real and the others were people dressing up in costume. My gut feel would be that if he is going to find it distressing or asking questions I would probably spill the beans.
I guess you could do what a lot of people do with Santa and suggest that the 'real santa' chooses special helpers etc etc.
I am not sure the best option but others much wiser than I are sure to have better solutions. I guess much of it depends on your son, ours NEVER even believed in the tooth fairy. Tough going for a disney crazy mum.

Goodluck with your little one.
Trish

 

[WantToGoNow]

My kids have always been afraid of costumed characters -- terrified of Chuck E Cheese, the Easter Bunny would send them into fits, the mascot at ball games were terrifying, and no sitting on Santa's lap either. So I told them those characters were people in suits. My dd4 pointed out last Easter the zipper on the bunny costume to a whole bunch of 4 year olds (ooops).

When we went to Disney, they didn't ask -- either they knew the truth or thought they were real but they didn't care. But they posed for the pictures and collected the autographs and seemed quite pleased to be meeting all of them. Now my dd4 (was almost 3 last time) just knew the Prinesses were real.

 

[stopher1]

I'm afraid I'm probably not much help. Our son had just turned four the first time he went to Disneyland. I was excitedly pointing out all the disney characters and by mid morning my son leaned over and whispered in my ear "you know they're just people dressed up, don't you?" I was sooooo sad, I thought at 4 he would be believe.

Oh man - our DS12 did the exact same thing - when he was 2!!

 

[dana1696]

We were there last week for the first time and my 6 yr twin daughters were just in awe of the characters. They asked a lot of questions about the characters before arriving, but once we were there, I think they were hooked! They did ask if the princesses really live in the castle and I said yes! One of my daughters asked Ariel during her autograph session if she wished she were human! Last night when they were watching Aladdin, one of them asked how Jasmine could be on the movie if she lived at Disney World

I wondered if they'd notice that "different" people were playing the princesses when they'd see them throughout the week, but they didn't even notice.

I would say that you'll want to tell your child what you think will make him feel most comfortable while he was there.

 

[jellybeans0607]

I would just tell him. That seems strange if he is asking about it to insist that a giant mouse is "real". I would think a 4yo is old enough to be able to deduce that a giant mouse is not possible and therefore it must be a person in costume. They understand costumes from halloween. I would think if you told him they were real that would create a lot of confusion for him.

When my middle child was 2, he didn't question it. When we went back this time at 4, he was fully aware that they werent real. He didn't even have to ask.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

When my DS was 4 (now 9) he learned over in the limo and told me on the way to the Poly, "You know mom, Mickey Mouse is just a person in a costume." . I was so sad. But seriously, at 9 he still loves WDW as much as he did as a toddler, just a different way.

DD is now 5 (just turned) and she doesn't say much about the costumed characters, but still believes that Cinderella lives at the castle and the princesses are truely princesses. If she would ask, I would say, well what do you think?

I wouldn't volunteer any info or admit anything unless they are fully sure they are costumes.

Now its funny because DS will never say anything about the realness of the characters after that inital conversation because when he said that to me, I just said to him, its magic and we all have to believe. I know he gets it, but I'm sure he thinks mom is nuts so he just lets it go.

 

[bjscheel]

Last time DD was 5. She has kind of asked about it and I said for instance, "Well you know in the movie Jasmine is just a drawing. But what you see here is a REAL Disney World character." Just confusing enough to satisfy her. Both DDs know, but honestly, when they are right there in front of you, even I forget the truth. It doesn't ruin anything for us. We are too busy coming up with questions and ways to interact with them.

 

[jessica52877]

My son asked when he was 4 and I just told him the truth. He knew they weren't real, so why make him think they were. I think it would really confuse a kid that a mouse that big was real. There are some mean characters in costumes too, so that wouldn't fly too well I wouldn't think. The mean guy in Pinocchio is one that comes to mind right off the top of my head.

 

[magchavez]

My daughter (5) is convinced that Cinderella really lives in the castle and that she is the one setting off all of the fireworks for Wishes. She wants to know how Cinderella makes the Mickey shaped fireworks!

 

[slo]

This is how it went for us....

"Mommy, are the characters at Mickey World real?"

"Why do you ask?" I asked

"Because my friends at school told me they aren't real?"

I said to her, "Do you want them to be real?"

She replied, "Yes" with a nod.

So I said, "Then they are real."



That was literally the end of the conversation, and she never asked me again until this year. When she asked me originally, she was 6, and in kindergarten (I remember this conversation as if it were yesterday), and now she is 10 and in the 4th grade. Now that she is 10, I have been honest with her, but I made her swear to secrecy to keep the magic real for her 5 year old sister.

I also told my 10 year old that there's nothing wrong with still having fun, even though you know. She sees how much fun I have with the characters, and how I love helping my girls get their autographs. I hoping that since I have such a blast, that she'll understand that it's okay for her to still have the same fun now, as she did when she believed they were the real deal.

 

[MouseLover]

I always reply to that question with this: "Yes, they are real characters."

 

[joyfulscrapper]

I was kind of wondering how I would deal with this same situation. We are going to the World next month for the first time and my youngest is 4. I really want it all to be magical for her and my older kids, but both DDs have been quite scared in the past of characters like Chuck E. Cheese. So in those situations I've always been honest with them and told them they were just people dressed up in costumes. Amazingly, this not only made them not scared anymore, but now they adore such characters, and it somehow seems like they don't even think about the fact that they aren't real. Sooo... I've always been one for telling the truth. It doesn't always mean you need to go into detail, but with my kids, they actually do better knowing the giant character is really a regular person in a suit, that way they can love them, the other way they're just afraid.

 

[holly7347]

We just got back from our first Disney trip on Oct 14th. I found these boards when I was planning the trip and saw a few threads like these. I always found them amusing. I kept thinking what 4, 5, or 6+ year old doesn't know that these characters aren't "real". I regularly take my children to a local indoor childrens museum type place and there mascot is an Otter. And on the weekends someone dresses in an Otter costume and comes out to hug all the kids. Each and every time we see the Otter my DD#2 (3 1/2) says to me "mom you know that there is a person in there" to which I say "yes dear I know" So of course I thought my 3 1/2 and 5 1/2 year olds would know the Disney characters were not real.

So we are standing in line to see Mickey at Camp Mickey/Minnie and we get close to the front of the line and the CM helper person says Mickey is going to take a break to eat some cheese he will be back in 5 minutes. My 5 1/2 year old asks me how he is going to eat cheese and I say with his mouth of course and that was that. We saw all sorts of characters from Stitch, Chip n Dale, Golaith, JoJo, Goofy, Pluto, Mickey, Daisy, Minnie etc and not once did either of my DD's tell me or ask me if there was a person in there. So I'm not really sure what they think of those types of characters but I know that they definitely think the princesses are real If they would have asked me point blank is there a person in there I would be honest with them though.

 

[brandylouwho]

When my 4 year old told me that they are just people in costumes...I wasn't sad, but I thought it was funny that she'd bring it up (we were at home on some randomn day). I said something like, "well, let's not talk about those sort of details around your little sister."

As much as I would never want to ruin it for her and tell her they are people playing a role, I am glad she is observant enough to catch onto things...real vs. fantasy.

Now when she finally admits that she thinks Santa isn't "real" I plan to say the same thing my mom always did, "if you don't believe he won't bring you presents."

BTW, even though she knows they are costumes, it hasn't ruined her love of them or her wish to get autographs, photos, etc.

 

[dancin Disney style]

I like the PP who asked if her child wanted them to be real. I think that's a great way to go. I believe in being honest with my kids even if they won't like the answer. When my DD was 5 she knew the characters weren't really. I don't know how but she knew. This year, at the age of 10, she still plays along with the character fantasy. Totally by her own choice. We still get photos and autographs and she loves the character meals.

 

[DISNEYNUTS]

I like the PP who asked if her child wanted them to be really. I think that's a great way to go. I believe in being honest with my kids even if they won't like the answer. When my DD was 5 she knew the characters weren't really. I don't know how but she knew. This year, at the age of 10, she still plays along with the character fantasy. Totally by her own choice. We still get photos and autographs and she loves the character meals.

Me too. My kids are 14, 12, and 10 it's all about believing in the Magic, even though they always "knew" the difference. They still all get into the Magic and yes even the Characters of Disney, Lots of PHOtO's.

 

[SueM in MN]

DD is now 5 (just turned) and she doesn't say much about the costumed characters, but still believes that Cinderella lives at the castle and the princesses are truely princesses. If she would ask, I would say, well what do you think?

That's exactly what we did.
When DD asked me, I asked her what she thought and she came up with an explanation that satisfied her.
I have heard some of the "are they real" discussions while waiting for things at WDW. The worst was when 2 kids from different families were discussing 'real-ness'. One said, "My mom told me that Mickey can't talk because he can only talk in movies, not here." The other child came back with "My mom told me Mickey can't talk because he doesn't know all the languages and he doesn't want any kids to be left out, so he doesn't talk to anyone."
That degnerated into a trading back aqnd forth of 'Nuh-uhh, your wrong. My mom said....."
I'e heard a similar discussion where both kids obviously had thought about things and had their own ideas. They had an interesting discussion about whether or not the characters were real and why.

This is how it went for us....

"Mommy, are the characters at Mickey World real?"

"Why do you ask?" I asked

"Because my friends at school told me they aren't real?"

I said to her, "Do you want them to be real?"

She replied, "Yes" with a nod.

So I said, "Then they are real."

That was literally the end of the conversation, and she never asked me again until this year. When she asked me originally, she was 6, and in kindergarten (I remember this conversation as if it were yesterday), and now she is 10 and in the 4th grade. Now that she is 10, I have been honest with her, but I made her swear to secrecy to keep the magic real for her 5 year old sister.

I also told my 10 year old that there's nothing wrong with still having fun, even though you know. She sees how much fun I have with the characters, and how I love helping my girls get their autographs. I hoping that since I have such a blast, that she'll understand that it's okay for her to still have the same fun now, as she did when she believed they were the real deal.

I think that's a great way to answer too.

 

[abcboys]

I would probably just tell them the truth. Even I know they are just "people in character suits" but its still exciting for me to see them so I'm sure its exciting for the kids too even if they know the truth.

 

[clr055]

I took my daughter to Disneyland in '07 for her 5th b.day. She asked after meeting Mickey why he didn't talk and I told her I didn't know. She then asked if he was real or wearing a costume. I asked her what she believed and after thinking a minute she firmly stated "he's real because I want him to be". She is like me, even if we know it isn't real we embrace the fantasy and magic and just believe because it makes us happy.

On the other hand, she is convinced that she is a sister to the princesses, all of them. We went to a charecter lunch and she saw them all, Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Belle and told each of them that they were her sister and asked when she could move into the castle. I think more then a few were a little suprized. She's caught some static from kids at her school for this belief, which she will go down fighting to defend, and I have counseled her to maybe not mention it. That the other kids might get jealous.

My belief, you have your whole life to be an adult in a non-magical world. Why not let them have this short time to believe in the magic because that belief and hope is what gives us the endurance later in life to break down the barriers in our way and continue on, looking for the magic we believe exists.