What do you spend on/give your nieces and nephews for Christmas ? vent and question.

[pyrxtc]

So if you only have a couple of nieces and nephews and they are still kids , what do you do for them for Christmas ?

I normally spend about $20-$50 on my niece and nephew. My nephew's birthday is just after Christmas and I follow the requests of no toys because he has enough right now and I give them money for his savings.

My vent time, I had a 16th birthday party for my daughter yesterday. She got a lot of presents and was very happy with it and really enjoyed herself having her relatives all around. She hasn't had a party like that since she was about 3 yrs old. After most people had left, we had Christmas for the kids from Aunt's/Uncle's and grandparents. 3 of my kids got envelopes of cash from their aunts and uncle's. 4 of them together gave the younger 2 $60 in one's and I don't know what the oldest got as she counted it herself. My DD16 who had the birthday party did not get anything from the for Christmas that I saw. they did not spend more than $15/$20 on her birthday gift which is what they spent on the other's when their birthdays rolled around. But still, she got nothing for Christmas from them. between some of their attitudes yesterday towards me and this I am quite mad. Just because her birthday is right before Christmas, she gets left out ?

One of my brothers's does not have much money right now and I understand that but the other three make very good money and have no kids. That shouldn't matter tho cuz they just left my DD16 out completely. It makes me so glad I am moving away from them although I will miss my niece and nephew very much, I won't have to deal with my siblings. I will miss my mother a bunch too but she'll come stay with us as often as possible.

 

[marcyinPA]

My nieces and nephews are all grown- ages 22-29. If we get together with them for Christmas, I will have something for them (hate going empty handed). I spend around $15. Normally, we see two of them EVERY Christmas, and the other three we rarely see (maybe 1x a year). I send a card.

I was wondering at what age you STOP giving them gifts? My SIL always tells me I don't need to get her two anything, but if you are celebrating together, isn't it weird not to give anything? Especially since my two are the youngest (13 and 17) and still receive gifts?

 

[My2Qtz0205]

We spent $100 on our only niece. If she gets siblings, I don't think we can keep that up, but this year it is just her, so I spoiled her.

 

[prncess674]

I Am single with a good job and my only sibling has one child. I spend about $500 on my nephew, most in the form of cash for future education account but there are probably a half dozen smaller gifts for him under my tree. Also spend about $500 on sister and BIL.

 

[teacup princess]

I have 11 neices and nephews. I get them all a $15-$25 gift (I don't try to make it even every year. I just get them something I think they'll like in that range.) I get them all a birthday gift too. None of my kids have holiday birthdays but they all get a gift for both from their aunts and uncles for both as well. Except for my husbands brother who got married a couple years ago and is childless. He and his wife don't get birthday gifts for my kids. Seem to for the other neices and nephews but not ours. I wonder if they'll get my kids gifts at Christmas? All the neices and nephews will be together. I've no idea why they don't get gifts for my kids and I've decided not to let it ruin our relationship.

 

[pyrxtc]

My nieces and nephews are all grown- ages 22-29. If we get together with them for Christmas, I will have something for them (hate going empty handed). I spend around $15. Normally, we see two of them EVERY Christmas, and the other three we rarely see (maybe 1x a year). I send a card.

I was wondering at what age you STOP giving them gifts? My SIL always tells me I don't need to get her two anything, but if you are celebrating together, isn't it weird not to give anything? Especially since my two are the youngest (13 and 17) and still receive gifts?

You can do what my Mother's family did after the kids turned 18. They had a scratch card on the tree for all adults and you took turns finding a card on the tree and as you gave it to whomever's name was on the outside, you had to say something nice about them. There was a scratch card inside of each so sometimes you won money and sometimes not but it was always fun.

it's fair that your two still get gifts because you gave gifts their kids for the last 22/29 years. Now your siblings are doing the same for yours.

 

[abdmom]

I stopped receiving gifts from my aunts when I was a teenager - I think around 13 - it was so long ago!

I used to give gifts to my dh's nephews, but stopped when the oldest reached about 17 - they celebrate Hanukkah anyway. DH's other set of nieces and nephews is kind of an on again, off again gift-giving type of thing - they give away all their presents anyway.

My sisters' children are younger. My two oldest are the oldest on that side of the family. DS17 will be getting money/gift certificates from both aunts. I don't expect him to get gifts much longer though. It will probably stop when he graduates high school.

 

[Jedana]

So if you only have a couple of nieces and nephews and they are still kids , what do you do for them for Christmas ?

I normally spend about $20-$50 on my niece and nephew. My nephew's birthday is just after Christmas and I follow the requests of no toys because he has enough right now and I give them money for his savings.

My vent time, I had a 16th birthday party for my daughter yesterday. She got a lot of presents and was very happy with it and really enjoyed herself having her relatives all around. She hasn't had a party like that since she was about 3 yrs old. After most people had left, we had Christmas for the kids from Aunt's/Uncle's and grandparents. 3 of my kids got envelopes of cash from their aunts and uncle's. 4 of them together gave the younger 2 $60 in one's and I don't know what the oldest got as she counted it herself. My DD16 who had the birthday party did not get anything from the for Christmas that I saw. they did not spend more than $15/$20 on her birthday gift which is what they spent on the other's when their birthdays rolled around. But still, she got nothing for Christmas from them. between some of their attitudes yesterday towards me and this I am quite mad. Just because her birthday is right before Christmas, she gets left out ?

One of my brothers's does not have much money right now and I understand that but the other three make very good money and have no kids. That shouldn't matter tho cuz they just left my DD16 out completely. It makes me so glad I am moving away from them although I will miss my niece and nephew very much, I won't have to deal with my siblings. I will miss my mother a bunch too but she'll come stay with us as often as possible.

My DH has a birthday right before Christmas, and when growing up, he would get birthday/Christmas presents from his family. He'd get the same amount of presents under the tree as his two siblings did, but they would be for both celebrations. He never had a birthday party either.

My niece was born Christmas Eve, and we would always have her birthday a week early (and she would get a small cake on her birthday--but that's family tradition. Party with gifts another date, never on the actual birthday, and then a cake on the birthday with no gifts.)

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

In our family after your Sweet 16 - birthday/Christmas presents stop. I know how you feel with a birthday near Christmas as DD's is a week before.That being said it doesn't stop us from getting niece/nephews a little something for birthdays/Christmas BUT I am not upset if mine do not get anything after that time.

I can see relative whom I feel our really well-off but to be honest, I don't know what their bank accounts really are saying. I never assume.

Sorry your feelings were hurt. If you feel bad for your daughter, do something nice for her. I am sure she will be okay. My children see what happens but are okay with it. Plus I am sure they will be more aware as they get older.

Happy Holidays.

 

[maslex]

I have a total of 2 nieces (3 & 13) and 5 nephews (9, 12, 15, 17 & 17)

I don't buy for 3 of them (my sister's kids since we live in a different state and usually never get together for Christmas BUT if they come up for the holiday then we do exchange gifts)

As for the ones that are local, we exchange gifts and usually spend $20-$25 on each. My nephew has a birthday exactly one week before Christmas. He just turned 12 last week. They had his birthday party at their house and everyone in my family bought him a birthday gift aside from his Christmas gift. To me, they are TWO separate occasions and should get TWO separate gifts. For his birthday, I got him a movie that he had been wanting. And for Christmas, he & his brother will be getting a $25 Game Stop card.

I never understood people who combine the birthday/Christmas gift. It just means that the birthday person gets cheesed out of a gift. Tacky, really.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

$25-30 each for us. Presents from aunts & uncles stopped for me at 16.

 

[eliza61]

1. Gifts are not supposed to be mandatory. NO ONE owes anyone a "gift".
2. My birthday is January 1st. I would have gotten my teeth knocked out if I complained that some one gave me a combo gift.
3. You're not going to deal with your siblings anymore because they're not spending money on your kids? Am I misreading this? Do you get along with your siblings? If not, then skip wanting gifts from them. If you do then just enjoy getting together as a family.


These scenerios are exactly why my siblings and I stopped giving gifts many years ago. Too much "you didn't do as much for my kids" and back and forth "counting" going on. We take care of our own kids and simply enjoy the family getting together as a family. The grandparents give a truckload of stuff out.

So as to what I give my neices and nephews? I get them things throughout the year. I take them to disneyworld, I take them to the movies. We are more about "doing" things than "buying" stuff.

The exception is graduations. when the two oldest graduated they got 200 bucks each from.

LOL one time of year I glad many of my family are Jehovah witnesses and don't celebrate holidays.

 

[mackeysmom]

I don't have any kids of my own and have a very close relationship with my two nieces (ages 11 & 13) and one nephew (age 16).

I'll spend around $250 on each of them. I stopped exchanging with my sister and brother-in-law (their parents) a long time ago and would rather spend the money on the kids.

They are great kids - not spoiled at all. Last year when I wasn't working and couldn't spend as much on them - they were still thrilled with what they got.

I don't have any experience with Christmas birthdays, but I would never think to combine the gifts.

- Laura

 

[pyrxtc]

1. Gifts are not supposed to be mandatory. NO ONE owes anyone a "gift".
2. My birthday is January 1st. I would have gotten my teeth knocked out if I complained that some one gave me a combo gift.
3. You're not going to deal with your siblings anymore because they're not spending money on your kids? Am I misreading this? Do you get along with your siblings? If not, then skip wanting gifts from them. If you do then just enjoy getting together as a family.


These scenerios are exactly why my siblings and I stopped giving gifts many years ago. Too much "you didn't do as much for my kids" and back and forth "counting" going on. We take care of our own kids and simply enjoy the family getting together as a family. The grandparents give a truckload of stuff out.

So as to what I give my neices and nephews? I get them things throughout the year. I take them to disneyworld, I take them to the movies. We are more about "doing" things than "buying" stuff.

The exception is graduations. when the two oldest graduated they got 200 bucks each from.

LOL one time of year I glad many of my family are Jehovah witnesses and don't celebrate holidays.

2. It wasn't a combo gift. It was a birthday gift. The birthday gift did not cost as much as they would have spent on birthday and then Christmas. I think it was rude for them to give the other kids envelopes stuffed with money and her nothing when they were doling out Christmas gifts.

3. I do not get along with my siblings. I love their kids but we are not "friends" and only see each other at family things. They are rude and condescending to me as they were yesterday. My brother offered to my DH to "throw away" some of my storage boxes that my Dad let me put in his basement while packing my house to move since they just had "junk" anyways. They are my things that I use but won't before we move and none of his business. My DH said no. My sister stated that I just need an apartment and to get rid of my "crap" unless I am hiring a maid because I hate cleaning anyways and suck at it. My house may not be perfect but it is clean. I have kids and a dog and actually spend time in my house. It does not need to be immaculate. She also made fun of me for something else in front of the rest of my siblings because I didn't know it. Not people that I would hang with anyways and moving gives me even more of a reason not to see them. I know they won't be visiting cuz I only live a few hours away and I can count on one hand how many times they have been to my house in the 10 years I've lived here. I answered the 2nd part of this # in my first answer. Gifts should be fairly even, not skipping one. We don't' get anything at all from my SIL for our kids nor give her kid anything. It's how she likes it and we don't complain. We just follow suit.

 

[LuLuO]

People who have birthdays right around the holidays always get a raw deal. Well, not always but often. I spend about $100 between our neice and nephew for Christmas. I spend about $40 each for their birthday. If they had a Christmas birthday I'd buy for both with that amount per occasion. My Dh has a Christmas birthday so I know how that can be.

 

[bigbabyblues]

We have one nephew, and we have two boys of our own. We decided a long time ago as a group not to exchange gifts with the siblings, and when the kids came along, we do the same with them. It's just easier that way, and no feelings get hurt.

However, this year, dnephew (6) has a couple things under our tree. His other grandpa's funeral is today and he is here with us, at the same time, my fmily is coming today for our Christmas. I couldn't have him here and be the only one with no gifts to open, it just wouldn't be right.

 

[eliza61]

2. It wasn't a combo gift. It was a birthday gift. The birthday gift did not cost as much as they would have spent on birthday and then Christmas. I think it was rude for them to give the other kids envelopes stuffed with money and her nothing when they were doling out Christmas gifts.

3. I do not get along with my siblings. I love their kids but we are not "friends" and only see each other at family things. They are rude and condescending to me as they were yesterday. My brother offered to my DH to "throw away" some of my storage boxes that my Dad let me put in his basement while packing my house to move since they just had "junk" anyways. They are my things that I use but won't before we move and none of his business. My DH said no. My sister stated that I just need an apartment and to get rid of my "crap" unless I am hiring a maid because I hate cleaning anyways and suck at it. My house may not be perfect but it is clean. I have kids and a dog and actually spend time in my house. It does not need to be immaculate. She also made fun of me for something else in front of the rest of my siblings because I didn't know it. Not people that I would hang with anyways and moving gives me even more of a reason not to see them. I know they won't be visiting cuz I only live a few hours away and I can count on one hand how many times they have been to my house in the 10 years I've lived here. I answered the 2nd part of this # in my first answer. Gifts should be fairly even, not skipping one. We don't' get anything at all from my SIL for our kids nor give her kid anything. It's how she likes it and we don't complain. We just follow suit.

Ding Ding!! That's the underlying issue. IMO, gifts are supposed to be an expression of your feelings. Truth be told, why would you want or expect a gift from them. From your description your sister sounds a bit toxic and not some one I would even want a gift from.

See that's why I really am starting to hate the messages we send our kids (our in general sense of the word).

Sorry if I had folks in my family that were condensending, emotionally toxic and just plain mean to me, no way in heck would I even want them around my kids more less worried because they didn't get my kids some thing.

And please believe me, my family is not a model family in this. That's why we got rid of the whole "you only spent 50 bucks on my kid, and I spent 200 bucks on yours" thing.

One of my uncles was a rip roaring alcoholic. nasty, loud and abusive when he got ripped (which was almost every family function). My dad brought tons of gifts for my cousins knowing that we would not get and thing and truthfully we didn't even want him showing up.

like I said, IMO gifts are supposed to be from the heart. some thing that says I was thinking about you. I don't want anyone buying my kid any thing because they think they have some family obligation.

That's not a gift, that's a debt payment.

 

[mjantz]

We spend $20-$30 on nephew & niece presents. Depends on what I find & what they like.

Another December birthday here. Thankfully no one ever combined gifts.

 

[pooksma]

Spend about 25 each on one side (there are 5 nieces and nephews) The other side has a December baby who just turned 1. No combo gifts and spent a bit more on her.

 

[luvmy3]

I have nieces and nephews that range in age from 16 mos to 24 years. We used to get everyone a gift, probably around $20. When there got to be alot of them we decided to pick names and put a $30 limit. We decided last year to stop giving gifts all together since it really just became a gift card exchange and felt more like an obligation instead of giving a meaningful gift. I did get the babies something this year because I did feel bad that they never really had a chance to participate in the gift giving since they weren't here yet.
I can understand a family deciding to stop giving at a certain age, and for yours that may be 16. I think it would have been a good idea to discuss it with everyone though so it would be known.