What do you silently judge people for?

[Lilsia]

I completely understand not liking smoking, but I do not understand your assertion that they have no respect for anyone's property. I know loads of people who don't respect other's property, but it has never had anything to do with them being a smoker or not.

Well with me, it has nothing to do with "liking" and everything to do with well being. I am extremely allergic to cigarettes to the point where, even if I smell it on someone, I get an immediate reaction. Instant migraine, plugged up nose, trouble breathing, coughing. It is horrible and it is getting worse with more exposure. Smoking is not something that stays just with the smoker but affects everyone in their general area. The smell lingers on your person and everyone around you can smell it. Not only that, the smell transfers to other items. Someone who is a heavy smoker that sits on a fabric chair, transfers that smell to the chair. I know there are many people who really don't have strong sense of smell and it does not bother them. But, just like any other serious allergy, there are those of us that are very sensitive to it. No different then places that have peanuts for those with peanut allergy. Those people can avoid going into places with peanuts, but smokers are everywhere. I would love it if people only smoked at home and not out in public. It is just shocking that they ban every other cancer causing products but won't ban cigarettes.

 

[shh]

I judge people who toss their cigarette out of the car. Hello, you dropped something! Jerk.
I judge people who toss their garbage out of their car. Excuse me, litter bug

I always wish I could throw it right back in their car....I'd love to see their faces

 

[RUDisney]

I always wish I could throw it right back in their car....I'd love to see their faces

If they are like my DGF, it won't matter. He tossed a cigarette out of the window and it blew back into the car, into the backseat, where I was sitting, and went down my tank top. I luckily wasn't burned and he stopped the car and I jumped out to wave it out of my shirt. It could have been much worse. It wasn't until he watched his DB die from esophageal cancer that he felt motivated to quit and did. I might have been around 7-8 when I could have been burned.

 

[emer95]

Well with me, it has nothing to do with "liking" and everything to do with well being. I am extremely allergic to cigarettes to the point where, even if I smell it on someone, I get an immediate reaction. Instant migraine, plugged up nose, trouble breathing, coughing. It is horrible and it is getting worse with more exposure. Smoking is not something that stays just with the smoker but affects everyone in their general area. The smell lingers on your person and everyone around you can smell it. Not only that, the smell transfers to other items. Someone who is a heavy smoker that sits on a fabric chair, transfers that smell to the chair. I know there are many people who really don't have strong sense of smell and it does not bother them. But, just like any other serious allergy, there are those of us that are very sensitive to it. No different then places that have peanuts for those with peanut allergy. Those people can avoid going into places with peanuts, but smokers are everywhere. I would love it if people only smoked at home and not out in public. It is just shocking that they ban every other cancer causing products but won't ban cigarettes.

I agree with you. The most heartbreaking thing is when children smell like cigarettes. I’m a teacher and when I’m correcting homework I can tell who has parents that smoke. A little girl I had last year was constantly sick and missed a lot of school. She smelled so strongly of cigarette smoke that it was hard to be close to her. Poor baby-none of that was her fault!

 

[Bibbobboo2u]

This can be horrible. Please do NOT compare losing a pet with a family member.

Maybe you can try to "forgive" someone for not knowing exactly what to say when they are just trying to reach out to a person about their loss. Judging someone's grief is unkind. You don't live anyone else's life, and you don't know the depth of their grief, be it for a parent or a pet. Pets are the sole companions for many elderly people, and for others, including myself, pets ARE intimate family members, and their loss IS the loss of a family member that causes deep sadness and long-term grief.

 

[Donald13]

Maybe you can try to "forgive" someone for not knowing exactly what to say when they are just trying to reach out to a person about their loss. Judging someone's grief is unkind. You don't live anyone else's life, and you don't know the depth of their grief, be it for a parent or a pet. Pets are the sole companions for many elderly people, and for others, including myself, pets ARE intimate family members, and their loss IS the loss of a family member that causes deep sadness and long-term grief.

While I agree that losing a pet is hard, it does not equate to losing. A child or a parent. I think what happens is a person is upset because they have lost a child, and another person tries to comfort them by sharing their grief in saying they lost a pet recently so they can relate. It’s not the same and it never will be. IMO, when you hear someone has lost a loved one, say I’m sorry I am here for you, is all you need to do.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

While I agree that losing a pet is hard, it does not equate to losing. A child or a parent. I think what happens is a person is upset because they have lost a child, and another person tries to comfort them by sharing their grief in saying they lost a pet recently so they can relate. It’s not the same and it never will be. IMO, when you hear someone has lost a loved one, say I’m sorry I am here for you, is all you need to do.

I agree with the comment bold which goes both ways. But I think just like what you said people try to comfort them but say things like "well it's just a dog or cat or whatever" or they make judgements based on the amount of grief someone is having towards that cat, dog or whatever. When someone is grieving whomever they are grieving it's a personal matter. Sometimes people try to place value on who passed away instead of simply being there for the person. That does go both ways.

Most of the time I will say people who discuss they recently lost a pet have good intentions. They are trying to extend a connection point and empathize in the way they can. That good intention doesn't always end up being the thing to do and a more neutral approach is the more appropriate one. Generally speaking I see less of that empathizing when someone in essence downplays the passing of a pet. I trust that if someone you knew just lost a pet you wouldn't say to them "losing a pet is hard it does not equate to losing a child or parent" because well that would not be comforting and is not really coming from a place of understanding, relation, or being there for a person.

 

[Donald13]

I agree with the comment bold which goes both ways. But I think just like what you said people try to comfort them but say things like "well it's just a dog or cat or whatever" or they make judgements based on the amount of grief someone is having towards that cat, dog or whatever. When someone is grieving whomever they are grieving it's a personal matter. Sometimes people try to place value on who passed away instead of simply being there for the person. That does go both ways.

Most of the time I will say people who discuss they recently lost a pet have good intentions. They are trying to extend a connection point and empathize in the way they can. That good intention doesn't always end up being the thing to do and a more neutral approach is the more appropriate one. Generally speaking I see less of that empathizing when someone in essence downplays the passing of a pet. I trust that if someone you knew just lost a pet you wouldn't say to them "losing a pet is hard it does not equate to losing a child or parent" because well that would not be comforting and is not really coming from a place of understanding, relation, or being there for a person.

....

 

[Bibbobboo2u]

While I agree that losing a pet is hard, it does not equate to losing. A child or a parent. I think what happens is a person is upset because they have lost a child, and another person tries to comfort them by sharing their grief in saying they lost a pet recently so they can relate. It’s not the same and it never will be. IMO, when you hear someone has lost a loved one, say I’m sorry I am here for you, is all you need to do.

Again, you never know the depth of another person's loss or grief, whether person or pet. While it may not be "equal" to losing a child or parent to you, to others the loss of a pet is the loss of an intimate family member. Stating that another person's grief for their pet is "less than" your own is judgmental. You don't know how that person feels, and their pain may be just as deep and long as yours.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I wouldn't exactly say I SILENTLY judge people for anything.

can we PLEASE get a group together to protest this ridiculous "woah" mispelling that somehow has caught on as an "alternate" option to replace "whoa"? I'm sorry...this drives me nuts.

I'll have to get back to you. I'm eating Kountry Kookin in a strip mall called the Shoppes.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I didn’t say that. It’s more about when you lose a loved one and someone compares it to the lost of a pet, at the time the person lost a loved one. I know people who have lost a pet, and I have said I’m so sorry for your loss. You are twisting my words, but that doesn’t surprise me.

I'm not twisting your words and I have no idea why you would say that doesn't surprise you. I was simply presenting the other side of the coin by saying people who lose pets often are met with "it's not the same as losing a child or parent" and that is the last thing they want to hear just as your point is the last thing someone wants to hear when they've lost a child or parent is someone talking about losing their pet. Both parties are just grieving and don't need someone else telling them it's not the same as such and such. But rather just to be there for them. I was actually agreeing with you. Perhaps in your haste you've missed that point?

 

[Donald13]

I'm not twisting your words and I have no idea why you would say that doesn't surprise you. I was simply presenting the other side of the coin by saying people who lose pets often are met with "it's not the same as losing a child or parent" and that is the last thing they want to hear just as your point is the last thing someone wants to hear when they've lost a child or parent is someone talking about losing their pet. Both parties are just grieving and don't need someone else telling them it's not the same as such and such. But rather just to be there for them. I was actually agreeing with you. Perhaps in your haste you've missed that point?

I mis read your post. I apologize.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I mis read your post. I apologize. ❤

It's okay, it's all good

 

[Lilsia]

While I agree that losing a pet is hard, it does not equate to losing. A child or a parent. I think what happens is a person is upset because they have lost a child, and another person tries to comfort them by sharing their grief in saying they lost a pet recently so they can relate. It’s not the same and it never will be. IMO, when you hear someone has lost a loved one, say I’m sorry I am here for you, is all you need to do.

My mom was a POS and I do not mourn her at all. Now my first cat Felix, who has been gone for as long as my mom has,(they died the same week)I still mourn. I miss that kitty so much some times that it still makes me cry. You can't control how you love.

 

[LostBoysClub]

I would say

Talking on public transport - wish they would be quiet
Coughing - again just me quiet
Drinking energy drinks - show off.

Some of these confuse me. Do you think people cough on purpose to piss you off? And in what way is drinking energy drinks showing off?

 

[Lehuaann]

Maybe you can try to "forgive" someone for not knowing exactly what to say when they are just trying to reach out to a person about their loss. Judging someone's grief is unkind. You don't live anyone else's life, and you don't know the depth of their grief, be it for a parent or a pet. Pets are the sole companions for many elderly people, and for others, including myself, pets ARE intimate family members, and their loss IS the loss of a family member that causes deep sadness and long-term grief.

As someone who has had several pets cross the rainbow bridge, I understand the level of grief. But none (and I do mean none) of them compared to the grief of losing my mother.

So if someone walked up to me and said, “I know just how you feel; I lost my pet turtle one year ago,” I would have (inwardly) thought what a strange thing to say, but understood the intent.

Honestly, I’ve experienced much worse

Again, you never know the depth of another person's loss or grief, whether person or pet. While it may not be "equal" to losing a child or parent to you, to others the loss of a pet is the loss of an intimate family member. Stating that another person's grief for their pet is "less than" your own is judgmental. You don't know how that person feels, and their pain may be just as deep and long as yours.

No one is downplaying the grief of losing a pet.

However, someone’s bereavement is not the appropriate time to bring up your pet.

Grief Hijacking is also disrespectful

 

[Donald13]

Some of these confuse me. Do you think people cough on purpose to piss you off? And in what way is drinking energy drinks showing off?

Well obviously it means that are the most tired person ever and they need the most caffeine. LOL I have no idea how it makes you a show off it boggles my mind.

 

[LostBoysClub]

Well obviously it means that are the most tired person ever and they need the most caffeine. LOL I have no idea how it makes you a show off it boggles my mind.

Some days at work I get the afternoon slump and rely on a Red Bull to get me through. Never once thought I was showing off!

 

[Timandalicia]

This is totally irrational and I think I need therapy for it. When people use initials instead of spelling out Magic Kingdom (mk). I won’t even let myself do it when making out my own touring plans. And if you look at my posts. I never do it. Shame on you all! lmao. I am such a freak.

 

[Lehuaann]

This is totally irrational and I think I need therapy for it. When people use initials instead of spelling out Magic Kingdom (mk). I won’t even let myself do it when making out my own touring plans. And if you look at my posts. I never do it. Shame on you all! lmao. I am such a freak.

You had a tough time posting that (lowercase)