karriemouse
Official Disney Cruise Addict
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2008
- Messages
- 508
Firstly I am so sorry for your loss 
. Having lost four babies myself in early pregnancy I cannot begin to imagine how devastating a loss so late must be, but I do remember we (the three of us) took lots of holidays to try to come to terms with what was happening and to spend some time appreciating our DD (then 2-4 years old).
Personally I would send an email, you can think about what to say more clearly and she has to read it - at the moment she is not listening to you. It's making my blood boil just thinking of how insensitive she is being.
You could start off with something like 'I needed to write this down because every time we discuss my family's vacation I think about the baby we lost and I get so upset I can't think clearly'.
Talk about:
My family's vacation NOT our vacation
We need to get away together to mourn this baby
We need to come to terms with what has happened as a family
We need to come together again as a family
We cannot to this with others present
Conclude with something which ends the discussion - like, 'we have thought this through a lot and are certain that taking this trip alone is what our family needs right now. Further discussion is not going to change our minds and just upsets me further, which I'm sure is not something you are trying to do.'
Then stop talking about it. Don't give her any details. Don't say you're sorry, she's the rude one who needs to be sorry for crashing your vacation and upsetting you at this difficult time. Don't offer a 'maybe we could go next year' unless you're sure you want to, because she will hold you to that. If she carries on say 'did you receive my email, I don't have anything else I can say about it'. Keep changing the subject.
Sorry for the long post, having been there and remembering how I felt this situation touched a nerve! I hope you have a happy and healing vacation and that 2009 is a much better year for your family than 2008.
. Having lost four babies myself in early pregnancy I cannot begin to imagine how devastating a loss so late must be, but I do remember we (the three of us) took lots of holidays to try to come to terms with what was happening and to spend some time appreciating our DD (then 2-4 years old).Personally I would send an email, you can think about what to say more clearly and she has to read it - at the moment she is not listening to you. It's making my blood boil just thinking of how insensitive she is being.
You could start off with something like 'I needed to write this down because every time we discuss my family's vacation I think about the baby we lost and I get so upset I can't think clearly'.
Talk about:
My family's vacation NOT our vacation
We need to get away together to mourn this baby
We need to come to terms with what has happened as a family
We need to come together again as a family
We cannot to this with others present
Conclude with something which ends the discussion - like, 'we have thought this through a lot and are certain that taking this trip alone is what our family needs right now. Further discussion is not going to change our minds and just upsets me further, which I'm sure is not something you are trying to do.'
Then stop talking about it. Don't give her any details. Don't say you're sorry, she's the rude one who needs to be sorry for crashing your vacation and upsetting you at this difficult time. Don't offer a 'maybe we could go next year' unless you're sure you want to, because she will hold you to that. If she carries on say 'did you receive my email, I don't have anything else I can say about it'. Keep changing the subject.
Sorry for the long post, having been there and remembering how I felt this situation touched a nerve! I hope you have a happy and healing vacation and that 2009 is a much better year for your family than 2008.
