What do you feel/sense when you visit a cemetery?

[Margie J]

This thread was inpired by MargieJ

When I visit a graveyard the sense I get depends on which one I'm at. If I'm visiting an old, historic one it's fascinating to see the headstones and ages of the people who are buried there. Or, to see the crypts in another City or Country. Different practices are interesting.

As a kid I often went to the grave of my GM. Since I never knew her it was my only connection, besides being named after her. I also loved to see the mausoleum there, where many celebrities were buried. It was like sneaking backstage to see a star.

If I go to visit my parents graves I have an overwhelming feeling of both sadness and connection. I usually can't stay there too long if it's too intense. The location bothers me too. It's not quiet or pretty being close to the road.

 

[RitaZ.]

One more thing I'd like to share. I won't mention his name but we have a gentleman buried at the same cemetery where my Mom is, that was a Titanic Survivor. He has this huge headstone with the Titanic photo etched on it & on the stone (which is about 5 feet high), it has a story engraved on it too regarding this man who was one month shy of 5 years old when the Titanic sunk. It also mentions that his parents were among the victims & he was then raised by nuns at a certain convent. He got to live till a ripe old age of 86 I believe. Anyway, it's very interesting & my oldest son always begs me to drive past his grave just so he can look at it!

Hi Rose! Thanks for sharing that story, very interesting.

I agree with bumcat about reading the children's headstones, just too sad.

 

[bumcat]

When I was in
High School, a friend had a fatal hunting accident. A bunch of
us took some beer to his grave, drank it and poured it on his
fresh grave at night. We really felt connected. Silly but true.
I love to visit my Grandfather's grave. I talk to him about all the
things I know he would enjoy that are going on now-personal and
newsworthy. Am I weird?
____________________________________________


No, not weird at all but feel free to pour whiskey over my grave when I am gone.

 

[*Fantasia*]

I feel sad when I visit my husband's site. It has only been 2 yrs since he passed away. Knowing that his body is only 6 feet under, I wonder how he looks right now. I talk to him and I feel more closer to him when I am there. Instead of the headstone his headstone is a bench so I can sit and pray and talk to him.

Does anybody know what happens to the body after 2 yrs...5 yrs...10 yrs? And when will the coffin decomposed?

 

[mommytotwo]

I feel sad cause those loved ones that I am visiting are no longer with us. There are times when I do feel a bit happy.

 

[jipsy]

Fantasia

Does anybody know what happens to the body after 2 yrs...5 yrs...10 yrs? And when will the coffin decomposed?

Fantasia I'm not sure if you really want the answer to that, but I read an article that stated that within a year of burial in a coffin, all that is left is the skeleton and teeth, with parts of the tissue on them. It takes 40-50 years for the bones to decompose.

Just remember, that is just your husband's body there. It is not his "soul" or his "essence" as you knew him. ((((hugs))))

As far as the coffin, if it is made of metal, it would take hundreds of years for that to decompose. If it is wood, it would depend on the type of wood and how it is treated.

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To the OP - it depends on the graveyard. Where I come from down south, we had "Decoration Day" which was usually held at an old family cemetary next to a church. We had a picnic and singing and everyone put fresh flowers on the graves of family members. That never bothered me. It was more interesting to regain a sense of my family before me.

Where my father is buried is not so easy. I miss him terribly and when I go home, it takes all my strength to go visit his grave.

I've been in cemetaries that were supposedly "haunted", both in daytime and night time. They never really bothered me, I would get a bigger kick out of seeing other people freak out.

 

[Pop Daddy]

I go a few times a year but I dont like it

 

[LUVDSNY04]

I live by two cemeteries so visiting a cemetery doesn't bother me unless it's at my parents grave. Then I am so sad because they didn't get to see any of their grandchildren graduate from high school and college and I miss them so much.

Fantasia,
I think a bench is such a beautiful idea.

bumcat,
My youngest son did the same thing to his best buddy's grave. His best friend was killed in an auto accident two weeks before his 21st birthday. On his birthday my son took a can of beer and poured it on Patrick's grave.

I was born and raised in Erie,PA and at one of the cemeteries there they have a baby area. Oh, that is really sad to visit.

My second year of teaching k I had a student drown. She was in school on Friday and drowned in a swollen creek around 6PM that night. Going to see this child in a casket holding her favorite doll was very hard for a young teacher. On Monday I gave the children an extra long playtime and they pretended they were near the creek and saved this little girl .

 

[Lachesis00]

Originally posted by Lanshark
Tranquil

At peace

Calm

Serene

But also wonderment (is that a word LOL). I wonder what kind of lives these people lived. How did they die. What was life like. Weird I know. I go to the graveyard in Skagway (Alaska) a lot. It dates back to the 1800's and I just can't help but wonder.

 

[house_of_princesses]

My DH died this past July. I cremated him (his wishes) and put his cremations in the town cemetary. The headstone has both our names on it. I can't drive by the cemetary without stopping in. I'd feel like I was ignoring him if I did. I always gather strength while there and a peace that passes all understanding overcomes me. When I'm alone, I cry. Mostly for my girls. If I'm with someone, I let them cry and hold their hand, give them a hug.

It's a small cemetary (10 acres), I know a lot of the people in there. It's funny how it's become such a part of my life now. Before this, I always had a sense of reverence while in a cemetary. Still do, but more emotion has been added on at that particular spot.

 

[*Fantasia*]

Fantasia I'm not sure if you really want the answer to that, but I read an article that stated that within a year of burial in a coffin, all that is left is the skeleton and teeth, with parts of the tissue on them. It takes 40-50 years for the bones to decompose.

Just remember, that is just your husband's body there. It is not his "soul" or his "essence" as you knew him. ((((hugs))))

Thanks jipsy. You mean the body just goes like that..that fast?! Then what is the embalsm (sp?) for? Isn't that to keep the body intact for some years?

I know it's just my husband's body and not his spirit/soul. I just feel that when his body starts decomposing, I just feel like he is "going away" further from this earth. Do you understand what I mean? I feel that once his body is gone, I feel like he won't be able to hear me anymore or even see me. I hope I didn't sound insane, but I guess from someone who's husband who passed away may feel that way.

I would really like to know when/how the body decompose, but I don't know what title I should look for when I go to the library. I am very much interested in knowing. Thanks.

::SIGH:: I miss him sooo much.

 

[nativetxn]

I love to visit cemeteries. I love reading the stones and trying to imagine the people there. I remember an especially interesting headstone in Savannah, GA. It was a woman who died in like 1723 and the epitaph said, "Here lies Elizabeth_____. Age 108. Killed by lightening.

That just captured my imagination. Talk about a sign that it is your time to go

I feel interested in the headstones when I visit a cemetery.

 

[Feralpeg]

I find old cemetaries to be interesting, but I feel no urge to visit the grave of my loveones. I get nothing out of it. I don't feel that they are there. Their spirits have left their earthly form. My mom died almost 30 years ago and my dad died about 25 years ago. I've only been to their graves twice. On the otherhand, I talk to them on a daily basis. I feel they are with me always. I don't have to visit their graves to be near them. I am not a big fan of funerals and I, personally, will be cremated.