What do you do when your 14 year old drama queen daughter doesn't want to go?

[SandraC]

What do you do when your 14 year old drama queen daughter doesn't want to go on a road trip to Florida?

I asked my inlaws to babysit if dd14 REALLY doesn't want to go [that's IF we go] and they said SURE! So if dd14 is serious, she can stay with the inlaws for a while.

We haven't made ANY final plans because we are still waiting to learn about dh's work situation. But we have been talking about a road trip to PEI or Florida. I love the idea of tropical summer storms! Seriously! I'm LOVING this heat!

So what do you do if drama queen "says" she doesn't want to go?

Blessings, Sandra

 

[SherylWrites]

Depends on how miserable she is capable of making you if she DID go.
If it were me, I'd probably make my daughter go. Not to be a mean mom, but because this would be a family vacation and she's a part of the family PLUS I would bet dollars to donuts (who ever came up with that phrase anyway?) that there would be aspects she would find a lot of fun.
I would also try to incorporate her ideas of fun into the planning too. Something for her to look forward to along the journey. Special places to stop/shop, her own camera, etc. etc. Let her be a big part of the planning process.
However, if I knew my daughter would be an absolute grump and ruin it for everyone in spite of my best efforts to include her in the planning then yes, I'd leave her with the grandparents. I wouldn't spoil everyone's vacation because of her.
Hope that helps!
Edited to add: My daughter is 12. I'm trying to look at the teen years in a positive light. Trying REALLY hard. REALLY REALLY hard. lol

 

[bababear_50]

Hi Sandra ,,,,just my thoughts but I'd let her stay with Gramma and Grampa and spread her wings. I remember summer time when I was 14 and my friends and I had made many plans .
Hugs Mel

 

[ahalla]

First...find out why she doens't want to go.

I am so ashamed to admit this but when I was 16 my dad planned our one and only family vacation to flordia. He had three teenage daughters (poor guy), anyways I had just started dating this guy who I just didn't want to leave. Long story short, my parents forced me to go. I loved every minute of it, and yes there were times that I remember being just miserable and as far as I know, I'm the only one who remembers. And, we have fantastic memories of that trip! I am making it up to my mom this December as my family is taking her to Disney.

So good luck and maybe your daughter is just being dramatic like I was!

 

[cdnmickeylover]

I had a drama king and although I forced him to go at 14 with my mother it turned out to be a mistake. I think he had an ok time -- it was a grandmother/grandson trip for my mother and her sister but he absolutely wouldn't go back til last year when we was 21. Part of the problem was the fact that my aunt's grandson was only 5 so there was a huge age difference between the two grandsons. Different circumstances though from yours. I'd really decide how miserable she could make everyone else.

After the trip at 14, DS got left with grandma. He was happy and we were happy so it worked out well.

 

[phabric]

We were in the same situation with our DD. We invited her friend to go along with us. She would have someone to talk too. See if her parents can pay for some expenses.

 

[sweetascanbee]

I have a 15 yr old drama queen....She has been this way for quite a while and when she says she doesnt want to go, she means it. The last time we took her to Disney she made the entire trip miserable for all of us and on the last day I said to her...."Take a good look around, because its the last time you will be here....with me anyway" She didnt care.

Dh and I have been back 4 times without her..she was OK with that.

I'd say if she says she doesn't want to go...and you have someone for her to stay with, then don't make her go. If she is just trying to be dramatic she will learn not to say things she doesnt mean....and if she really doesn't want to go then she will feel heard and respected.

JMHO





Becky

 

[F4disneyfan]

What do you do when your 14 year old drama queen daughter doesn't want to go on a road trip to Florida?

I asked my inlaws to babysit if dd14 REALLY doesn't want to go [that's IF we go] and they said SURE! So if dd14 is serious, she can stay with the inlaws for a while.

We haven't made ANY final plans because we are still waiting to learn about dh's work situation. But we have been talking about a road trip to PEI or Florida. I love the idea of tropical summer storms! Seriously! I'm LOVING this heat!

So what do you do if drama queen "says" she doesn't want to go?

Blessings, Sandra

Thankfully we do not have this problem we have the opposite problem we went to Disney this past Dec without them and they were all very very upset with us for leaving them all at home. Our oldest actully looks foreward to our side trips almost as much as Disney itself. She loves going to the Merrit Island nature trails etc she loves bird watching and taking pictures of nature etc.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

When I was 13 my parents planned a summer in Europe. I didn't want to go. I was miserable, moody and just plain rude for most of the trip. In hindsight I can't believe how horrible I was and I would love to go back and appreciate that trip now. At 13 I just wanted to stay home with my friends.

So IMO unless you can get her on board with the idea buckle up for a bumpy ride.

 

[hopefor4]

Well, I am not there yet, but I think I would just take her along. I assume she would enjoy it while there, and is probably sulking about something unrelated (leaving friend to go on "dorky" fam trip!) I would say a lot of the complaining is for the benefit of others, and not truly how she feels. She will thank you one day for "making" her go!

Good luck!

Michelle

 

[Microcell]

My father and stepmother are two of the worst people I have ever met (I am 35 now and a mother for those wondering ) and we are even currently estranged. My mom passed away when I was 16 and I didn't want anything to do with my father and stepmother...

That being said, I had to go (didn't dawn on me to protest)So I went to both San Francisco and Washington DC from KC so we are talking a 20 hour drive to DC and a looonnngggg flight to California, and I am glad looking back that I went. I wanted to see both places, and had a good time and only have my stepmother's stupidity to blame for the ONE HOUR we spent in the Smithsonian..

Thankfully I don't think a time will come when my kids don't want to go to Disney, but if they don't tough cookies, they are part of this family and will have fun!

I don't think she needs to give you attitude during the trip either so I think I would tell her when she gets started with it, that every comment means an entire day she cannot see her friends when she gets back! My DS6 doesn't call me the meanest mommy ever for nothing! That is ok, if they don't hate you at some point or another then you aren't doing your job!

 

[cdnmickeylover]

I My DS6 doesn't call me the meanest mommy ever for nothing! That is ok, if they don't hate you at some point or another then you aren't doing your job!

Gee and I was sure that I was the meanest mommy in the world.

 

[pkitty]

Just had this dilemma in March.....DD spent the entire trip on the phone with her boyfriend....they even rode Everest "together" on the phone no less! He was more miserable than she was.....begging her daily to come home (this didn't help the situation). We ended up doing alot more adult type activities, especially at dinner.....ate at Japan and Morocco....tried some different activities....laid in the sun more and did less frantic touring....DTD...Cirque De Soliel...House of Blues....did some shopping at Pleasure Island and Virgin Records.....you know more teen oriented stuff.....rented a water "mouse" she drove. We had to adjust our approach and Dad had to get over the fact that she had other priorities other than the Tiki Room.... you get my meaning. Also she was fortunate enough to meet a young man by the name of Rob while riding on the Tower of Terror. He is a character at Magic Kingdom, and MGM. He was off that day and she was riding alone so they sat together. After riding 6 times ( while I sat in the lobby of the hotel) Rob asked if we would be interested in Magic Kingdom the next day because he was off. We'll we met him there and DD now has a friend for life....she got to see things at the parks that most of us will never see and ended up having a very memorable vacation. All in all it was about our approach to her growing up and always remembering that she wasn't 5 anymore. Having said that I have footage of her joining may small children to do the limbo at the Polynesian resort during our dinner at Ohana's...case in point....it is what it is.....3 years ago she wouldn't have done that! I tink you should still give it a shot

 

[c&m]

pkitty is so right on the money. It's about adjusting a vacation to suit the new young adult in your family.

Be persistent and include your child in your vacation plans. I think that at the end of the day, your daughter would be happy to be included in on the family vacation instead of being left behind.

 

[maryliz]

Gee and I was sure that I was the meanest mommy in the world.

But did you graduate top in your class from the "Mean Mommy School"??? I did, and have 8 and 11 year old kids that can attest to it ... although my 8 year old often demands that I take him there to show him there's really a place.

Sandra, find out if it's just a teenage thing about telling her friends that she's going with the family to see Mickey Mouse. She's only 14, tell her that she doesn't get to opt out of family vacations until she's 16, and then tell her that what she does have the power to do is help plan the itinerary, and like a pp said, do some things that she'll enjoy, even if it means NOT riding Splash Mountain 12 times.

Good luck!

 

[tigger2627]

I'm wondering if she's disappointed that your planned trip to California is (I assume) now cancelled? That trip would probably be a lot more interesting for a 14 year old than (another) trip to Florida.

 

[SandraC]

Hi ~ California trip is still on....we are just waiting to hear back about a studio visit before booking that trip. It's a special thing just for dd14...could happen this year, could happen next year.

We just got home from a BEAUITFUL family wedding in NC. dd14 said she'd like to return to NC. When I mentioned driving to NC, then Myrtle Beach, then Disney/Universal for 10 days....she said, make it 5 days and I'll consider going. Princess

I think if we do a Disney/Universal and 'something' different in Florida, she'd like the trip better.

She isn't a social butterfly, so leaving friends isn't the issue. She just wants to stay home.

Thanks all! Sandra

 

[trivial]

If she's been before and knows what to expect, I would hesitate to take her, simply because I wouldn't want her ruining my vacation. But if she hasn't been before, I'd take her with. I'm still not clear on why she doesn't want to go, other than staying home. Does she not think she'd have fun? Is she dreading all that driving? I know I would.

 

[caresy]

When I was 16 my parents DRAGGED me on a family vacation to Florida - we didn't stay at WDW, didn't even visit it actually, but I really really didn't want to go and I know I ruined the trip for everyone by my horrible behaviour there. So much so that we left early. I look back now and am filled with shame for my behaviour but at the time I knew I was the only reasonable one and everyone else was wrong!

If it comes down to ruining a family vacation and she is just as happy to stay home, I'd let her. That may put some perspective on it for her as well.

 

[Goofy's apprentice]

I feel like a lawyer, but only you can make this decision.

It is good to see everyone's point of view. This April we took our dd13 and ds 15 out of school for a week at WDW. Another family with two other teenage girls came with. I think that makes it easier. At that age they aren't necessarily interested in our interests, but this way they can been teenagers and still hang with the adults for parts of the vacation.

Before going, my son said...but I'll miss 6 lacrosse games (plays on a number of teams) and the badminton finals. I asked if he wanted to stay behind. The answer was no. They had a great time. However, both have quietly said to us later that they love Florida but the timing of that particular week really was bad this time.

I agree with those that say it really depends on why she doesn't want to go. Sometimes teenagers retreat into their own worlds. Sometimes its good, sometimes not.