What do you consider normal growing up?

[pigletliz]

Everything others have said plus for me
Comic books (I stole one from the candy store once, my dad found it and made me take it back and apologize)
paper dolls with clothes thst I cut out from McCalls magazine
playing in the streets when they flooded after a big rain
bats circling the street lights as we played hide and seek or kick the can
my little dog Pepper walking from house to house every day to say hello and get treats
laying in bed under the covers as my dad would spank me with the belt because I had done something bad. He didn’t really put his heart into it and under the covers it didn’t hurt that much. I was a willful child.
Staying overnight with my grandma in her walkup one room studio, sleeping together and playing bunco
My other grandma lived down the street from us; she couldn’t speak English (she was Lithuanian ) and wore babuskas and long dresses. She was scary. But she had a magnificent willow tree in her front yard that was a great place to hide under for hide and seek
Walking to grade school from first grade on past all the taverns in our small town filled with customers at 8 am who has just gotten off third shift
Being excited to visit the local 5 and 10 after I got my allowance to go t9 the soda fountain and
briskly walking to our small local library on a Saturday morning so I could take out the next Nancy Drew, Bobbsey twins or Cherry Ames book. (as a birthday present a few years ago, my husband bought me a complete set of Cherry Ames (nurse who solved mysteries) books…I started to read them again but they had somehow lost their appeal! But I loved that he did that).
Playing cowboys and Indians in someones back yard
Pulling out wild rhubarb from our yard, barely cleaning it off under the hose and eating i

I absolutely loved Cherry Ames! (And Nancy Drew) I've had my copies for over 40 years.

 

[Colleen27]

You know, I can't even fathom having children in this day and age. Do you know how hard it would be to never be able to take your eyes off of them? There is no more letting your children walk over to a friends house to play. No more letting your kids play on their own swing set in the back yard. You may have this luxury if you live out in rural areas, but I know my niece doesn't go out alone. Not ever.

Parenting that way is, for most, a choice rather than a necessity. The internet and the 24 hour news cycle has us all so awash in fear that we don't realize we're actually living in safer times than those most of us grew up in, and the judge-and-jury that is social media makes it hard to buck the trend even if you aren't personally scared to let your kids be kids. But it is still possible if you want it enough.

My grandparents and mother stayed in the house I grew up in their whole lives, and my kids grew up playing alone in that backyard and walking to the park in that neighborhood same as I did. And at home, which is in a small town but not a rural area (those are scary to me, because drivers *fly* down country roads and aren't expecting to see pedestrians, kids playing, an escaped ball bouncing into the street, etc), they walked over to friends' houses, to the candy shop or coffeehouse, to school, to the park. They swim in the river and lake, just like I did. The only difference is, their friends all seem to have either scooters or skateboards, not bikes.

 

[kanerf]

Like most have mentioned would be gone from home sunup to sundown and some times later. No cell phones of course and the parents had only a rudimentary idea of where I was and who I was with. I lived in AZ as a pre-teen and teenager and things are quite wild out there. It was not uncommon to encounter dangerous animals while out wandering about.

 

[BrianL]

Normal for me was:

Having divorced parents
Living with grandparents (and mom)
Sharing a room with my sister
Having a dog
Having a pool
Smoking in the house (not me but my grandparents)
Not having alcohol in the house
Not having soda in the house
No swearing (in front of each other anyway)

I didn't realize certian things were unique to me for a while.

 

[mrodgers]

You know, I can't even fathom having children in this day and age. Do you know how hard it would be to never be able to take your eyes off of them? There is no more letting your children walk over to a friends house to play. No more letting your kids play on their own swing set in the back yard. You may have this luxury if you live out in rural areas, but I know my niece doesn't go out alone. Not ever.

Instead of criminals, we have bear, bobcat, coyote, and mountain lions to deal with.

My daughter was 5, summer before kindergarten, when I came home and she was out in the back playing in her sandbox while mom was in the kitchen making dinner.

"Dad, you just missed the bear!"

"Really? Where?"

"He just walked right past me" as she points 8 feet away where it walked around our pool and past her in the sandbox.

 

[DisneYE]

Love this thread.
Just dropping a few lines and say that I can tell a lot of you are GenX'ers as me and it gave me a lot of nostalgia.
Agree with most of you here.

I really enjoyed the summers being on my bike or playing with friends on the streets until it was dark.
I miss those simple times.

Some mentioned smoking - so true and it brought a smile but also sadness, remembering this:
- My mom was a heavy smoker. I remember getting up in the mornings and going to her room: it was a smoke chamber...imagine a steam room, but instead of steam, cigarette smoke. every day for years until smoking started to be frowned upon.
- Smoking in the last few rows of airplanes - I remember being a kid around a bunch of human chimneys who were smoking away like there was no tomorrow - and a kid, or kids, among them.
I fly often these days and I'm in shock remembering how insane those times were.

Anyway - carry on.

 

[CdnCarrie]

You know, I can't even fathom having children in this day and age. Do you know how hard it would be to never be able to take your eyes off of them? There is no more letting your children walk over to a friends house to play. No more letting your kids play on their own swing set in the back yard. You may have this luxury if you live out in rural areas, but I know my niece doesn't go out alone. Not ever.

Where the heck do you live that it's like that?
My kids are now teens but they played outside all the time without me. I feel bad for your niece.

 

[slo]

Having chores, which is a dying ideology today.

My girls always had chores and their friends never did. In fact, other parents have told me numerous times that their child is only young once and they won’t make them do chores.
DD18 still has chores to help us and she‘s ok with it

 

[Smugpugmug]

Reading through this thread I can tell that most, if not all of you are much older than me and a lot of what comes to my mind is way different. I'm in a weird place where I remember small bits of life without internet becoming mainstream, but my generation was the first to embrace social media and to have a smartphone. My first phone was a Nokia flip phone but I remember begging my mom to get me a Blackberry because she had one lol I remember being in middle school and those that didn't have a Myspace or Facebook account to be made fun of.

It was totally normal for us to play outside without adult supervision but walking to/from school alone? Nope.

Interesting comments about smoking and alcohol, my parents never drank around my sister and I and not a single person I knew growing up had parents that smoked. The DARE program and assemblies about stranger danger was shoved down our throats, though.

 

[OKW8297]

Blue Laws-no shopping on Sunday

 

[penn19]

yes yes yes to all of this! The hump was my seat! I sat with my head sticking between the seats and occasionally my dad would yell, "Lean back!" lol Sometimes I rode in my mom's lap, sitting on the door handle with my upper body out the window, hanging on to the ridge of the car door by my fingertips. Jesus our parents were risky sons of biscuits! I always sat on the arm rest of my grandparents LTD, in between them. That was my seat. I also learned to drive by sitting in my Grandpa's lap and him letting me steer by myself from about 5 years old. I'm lucky to be alive! lol

My spot was in between my parents in the front seat. With all their smoke swirling around my face. After some of my siblings moved out, my new spot was in the trunk of the station wagon. They had those fold down seats that faced each other so you were knee to knee with another person. Good times

 

[BlueStarryHat]

I thought it was completely normal for my dad to keep a case of beer in the car and drink the entire way down the shore, or once we took a trip to the Poconos and it was the same. I have a photo of him standing at the Delaware Water Gap drinking a beer while checking out the scenery. There was always a can or a bottle of beer in his hand. We would watch hockey games together. He'd finish a beer and send me straight away to the fridge to get him another one. I only saw the other men in the neighborhood on social occasions really, like street barbecues or something, and they'd all be drinking beer so it never entered our heads that we were growing up in an alcoholic's household. The guy who lived down the street was a fall down drunk. I thought *that* was an alcoholic-not my easygoing, funny and loving Dad. I was in my teens when I realized he had a problem when he was hospitalized for blackouts and they told him to stop drinking or die. He continued to drink, though he cut down considerably. He finally quit when I was nineteen. My sister and I had about 6 months of knowing what a sober father was before he was killed in an accident...caused by a drunk driver. The irony is not lost on me.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

I guess smoking was something I considered normal when I was a kid. My parents did not, but my grandparents did. I remember that an ashtray was like a piece of furniture that sat next to the recliner. I do not smoke myself, but I seem to have a very high tolerance for smoke. I guess because I have been around it so much.

 

[penn19]

I thought it was completely normal for my dad to keep a case of beer in the car and drink the entire way down the shore, or once we took a trip to the Poconos and it was the same. I have a photo of him standing at the Delaware Water Gap drinking a beer while checking out the scenery. There was always a can or a bottle of beer in his hand. We would watch hockey games together. He'd finish a beer and send me straight away to the fridge to get him another one. I only saw the other men in the neighborhood on social occasions really, like street barbecues or something, and they'd all be drinking beer so it never entered our heads that we were growing up in an alcoholic's household. The guy who lived down the street was a fall down drunk. I thought *that* was an alcoholic-not my easygoing, funny and loving Dad. I was in my teens when I realized he had a problem when he was hospitalized for blackouts and they told him to stop drinking or die. He continued to drink, though he cut down considerably. He finally quit when I was nineteen. My sister and I had about 6 months of knowing what a sober father was before he was killed in an accident...caused by a drunk driver. The irony is not lost on me.

I’m so sorry. We grew up in the same area. My dad drank every weekend. Not in the car or anything. But yes it’s a difficult thing. My dad was always “buzzed” I guess on the weekend. Not during the week. So many psychological things going on back then

 

[Alicefan]

Where the heck do you live that it's like that?
My kids are now teens but they played outside all the time without me. I feel bad for your niece.

Columbia SC and Myrtle Beach SC. High levels of human trafficking in this area. It's sad when the billboards in your area are human trafficking hotlines.

 

[Alicefan]

Blue Laws-no shopping on Sunday

Oh I remember that, growing up in Virginia Beach! I actually wish that was still a thing. Oooh, and running home in a hurry because Wizard of Oz or some other holiday special was coming on! I remember shopping with my Grandmother and everyone we'd meet and chat with in town would be asking the same question as the streets got quieter...."Are y'all watching Wizard of Oz tonight?" We'd even have friends over to watch because it was an event! Best of times!

 

[yensid's offspring]

I thought it was completely normal for my dad to keep a case of beer in the car and drink the entire way down the shore, or once we took a trip to the Poconos and it was the same. I have a photo of him standing at the Delaware Water Gap drinking a beer while checking out the scenery. There was always a can or a bottle of beer in his hand. We would watch hockey games together. He'd finish a beer and send me straight away to the fridge to get him another one. I only saw the other men in the neighborhood on social occasions really, like street barbecues or something, and they'd all be drinking beer so it never entered our heads that we were growing up in an alcoholic's household. The guy who lived down the street was a fall down drunk. I thought *that* was an alcoholic-not my easygoing, funny and loving Dad. I was in my teens when I realized he had a problem when he was hospitalized for blackouts and they told him to stop drinking or die. He continued to drink, though he cut down considerably. He finally quit when I was nineteen. My sister and I had about 6 months of knowing what a sober father was before he was killed in an accident...caused by a drunk driver. The irony is not lost on me.

I grew up in Philly and my dad and all of my male relatives were the same way. Never out of control drunk but drank at least a six pack each night after work and all day on the weekends at BBQ's, parties etc. I found it totally normal and was socialized into drinking very early. I have many of the same habits although I try to curb them when I can. I agree "the fall down drunk" was what I would have considered an alcoholic growing up. I realize that I am a type of alcoholic as I do not just have the social drink or two and tend to drink most days. Here's to ya.

 

[Coonhound]

Cocktail hour before dinner, my mom would put out snacks and my parents would drink their cocktails and watch the news before dinner. Even if my dad got home late from work we had to wait to eat dinner.

This is odd to me. They let you witness them drinking alcohol and made you wait to have a meal so they could drink together. Did it affect you negatively in any way?

 

[yensid's offspring]

This is odd to me. They let you witness them drinking alcohol and made you wait to have a meal so they could drink together. Did it affect you negatively in any way?

I can't speak for @mjcacmom but I grew up similarly. My parents drank nightly and I guess you could call it a cocktail hour, so to speak. I don't think they were making their kids watch them drink or withholding food from them while they drank, it was just a routine the parents had. I grew up in the 70's and early eighties. I am going to assume you are younger than that. During that time, especially where I grew up it was common place. We all ate together as a family and dinner was not served until my father got home from work. When my dad got home it was not Dad's home, lets sit down and eat. Dad had to change his clothes, wash up, sit in his chair and relax ( often, if not always, with a drink). This was usually the time when mom was finishing dinner. It was a time when we all socialized together as a family. Mom and dad caught up about each others day, they asked us kids how school was and what we were up to. We watched the local nightly news together. It was a family time that no body seems to get anymore. Even though my mother and father drank, it was not a drunk or abusive thing, it was a social thing. I realize I grew up in some privilege, in a middle class home, but families had much more family time back then. Families ate together and watched TV together and worked on homework together. I am by no means advocating for alcohol use or saying that it was instrumental or necessary in any way. I am only speaking to the environment in which I was raised. Despite the alcohol use, it was a very close, loving, family environment. I treasure those times and wish my wife and I had that much time to devote to our kids on a daily basis. Unfortunately, rearing children in the 2000's and 2010's was considerably different, with having to have dual incomes, the internet, cable TV etc. I'm going to sound like the old man that I am; but life used to be a whole lot simpler before the internet and the instant gratification that came with it. People are physically healthier now a days as the effects of alcohol and smoking are more widely known; but I fear that we just traded those addictions for ones that are equally or more detrimental to the family unit and to society. Sitting on the floor, in front of my father's rocker recliner, as he sipped his beer and we watched the news, does not seem all that harmful to me. IMHO.