What do to with my nephew?

[kellykins]

I'm planning on having a relatively small wedding party. There will be 3 bridesmaids including the maid of honor and three groomsmen including the best man. My little nephew nolan will be the ring bearer (he'll be four and I can't wait to see him in a tux). My problem is my other nephew Ian who will be 11 at the time of the wedding. His sister will be one of my bridesmaids so I can't leave him out plus I really don't want to (he too will look very cute in a tux), but I can figure out what his role should be. I don't have a girl his age to be a JR bridesmaid.

Even though we have repeatedly told him that he will be in the wedding he still doesn't believe me and is feeling left out. I feel like if I could give him a specific job that would make him feel more included.

Any thoughts would be great!

Thanks,
Kelly

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

Hmmm... I understand that you don't want to leave him out. Could he walk one of the mother's (or both) down the aisle? Just an idea. Hope you figure it out!

 

[lsutiger05]

Your other nephew could be an usher.

 

[twojo21]

i agree with lsutiger05, your nephew could be an usher & assist guests to their seats.

 

[ohanafamily]

Hmm, Usherring is nice, but thinking back to when I was 11, I would have felt slighted. Perhaps you could have him carry your train (if you have a long enough one), or have him carry up a family artifact from someone who you wished could be there. I know, Valet (remember Father of the bride?) If it is a dual ring ceremony, why not have 2 ring bearers? Maybe you could have him read a prayer, or light a candle (OK, it depends on how mature he is.)

Good Luck with your quest!!!

 

[JonetteA]

I agree with Ohanafamily....we are going to have 6 kids at our family only wedding. I want each of them to play a part, so I thought that the 3 from each side could like the candles that we use to light our unity candle. I am just imaginig how well or how poorly this can go!

 

[ducklite]

How about having him hand out the programs to everyone as they come into the church before they are seated by the ushers. That's a very visable "job".

Anne

 

[ohanafamily]

Not knowing the 11YO, I would say that there is a difference between "Visibility", and feeling like you are part of the service. everyone else (in the family) will be walking down the aisle as part of the rituals, and I would have wanted to be part of the ceremony, not just handing out leaflets, or taking people to their seats. I am trying to see this from the perspective of the DN.

I guess I could suggest asking him. At my wedding I had somoene bring up a wine cup that was my grandparents (who had passed away).

I hope this is helpful...

 

[Tiggerific]

I don't know if you'll like my idea but here goes...

The 4 year old is the ring bearer, but obviously you aren't going to trust a 4 year old with the rings. Depending on how mature the 11 year old is and if you would trust him with the real rings you can have him walk down the isle and present you and you DH2B with the real rings during the ceremony. I have heard that the best man is supposed to hold the rings, but this could be something special for your nephew to do.

 

[kellykins]

Tiggerific your replay made me laugh. I have been silently wondering if people really entrust the ring bearer with the real rings.

Thank you for all the ideas. I especially like the idea of having him light some candles or carry something that represents someone who isn't with us.

My nephew is at a weird age for being in a wedding. I think it would be easier if I had a Jr. bridesmaid to pair with him, but his sister is really old enough to be a bridesmaid. Plus at my brothers wedding we when they were paired up we had a hard time convincing them to walk together and hold hands at the end of the ceremony. Ironically I remember behaving the same way towards my brother at my sister's wedding (my sister is much older than my brother and I).

 

[Fire14]

Tiggerific your replay made me laugh. I have been silently wondering if people really entrust the ring bearer with the real rings.

I let my DN carry ours. Granted it was a short walk and I had them tied to pillow.

 

[ohanafamily]

Mine Too, we had them tied to the pillow. We told him how important his job was and that we could not get married without the rings. He did a FANTASTIC job. Kids love to be responsible sometimes.....

 

[luvey]

a friend of mine had a similar issue, she didn't know what to do with a neice and a nephew who she wanted to include but already had a flower girl and a ring bearer. i mentioned the idea of having a "town crier." before the bride goes down the ailse, the kid or kids go down the alise ringing a bell saying "the bride is coming, the bride is coming." a pretty neat way to involve them and to give a guest a clue as to when to stand.

 

[ohanafamily]

a friend of mine had a similar issue, she didn't know what to do with a neice and a nephew who she wanted to include but already had a flower girl and a ring bearer. i mentioned the idea of having a "town crier." before the bride goes down the ailse, the kid or kids go down the alise ringing a bell saying "the bride is coming, the bride is coming." a pretty neat way to involve them and to give a guest a clue as to when to stand.

That is a great idea!!!!!

 

[PrincessA]

I had a bible bearer. He brought down a bible that matched the colors of the wedding and was a gift from my MIL that had our names engraved on it. Not that big of a deal, but I was able to include all of the kids in the wedding.