What did you do to get over the loss of a beloved pet?

[tammymacb]

I lost my greyhound, Keena, almost 8 months ago. She was only six years old, and had gone to the vet for a dental cleaning. She didn't wake up from the anesthesia. It's honestly been the worst thing that's ever happened to me...

I used to volunteer in greyhound adoption. Keena was a very shy little girl who came off a low end track in Florida at less than two years old. Her original owner "liked the way she looked" and adopted her, she, unfortunately, didn't like her extremely shy personality and contacted the adoption group to return her. The group called me, knowing I'd had good results with shy dogs in the past and I agreed to work with her. She was a foster, and I had no intention of keeping her, but I fell hard. Let me say, I'm an extremely fortunate person. I have a great husband and daughter, a lovely home, and greyhounds of my own when Keena came along. I don't like the idea of "favorites". But, she just had me. Once she warmed enough to feel "safe" and give up her complete and utter distrust ( and when it came to strange me, terror ) of humans, she just loved. There was not a sweeter, happier or more content dog in the world. Many days after a long and hard day at work in the ER, I used to think to myself, how I just couldn't wait to get home, take a shower, and snuggle on the couch with my Keena. I still think that.

Since she's been gone, I feel like a large part of joy is just gone from my life. I'm sad. I'm angry. I feel guilty that I even made the appointment and never had a chance to say goodbye.

Since she's been gone, I've adopted another little girl. I love her to death. She's a silly, happy, joy to have in the house. However, Keena is never far from my thoughts and I still spend some nights quietly crying myself to sleep.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had such a hard time. And, what you did to move on. And maybe, I'm just trying to empty my heart of a little saddness, too.

Thanks.

I took this picture of Keena on Thursday, July 23rd. I worked Fri- Sun in the ER and she went to the vet first thing in the morning on Monday, July 27th. I never saw her alive again...

 

[Stitch2007]

Sorryfor your loss. My dog died ~9 years ago and I still miss her everyday. On some days when I walk into my mom's house (I got her when I was 7 years old and she died when I was 23 years old) that she is going to be at the top of the stairs - there are times when I almost say hi to her as I walk up the stairs. There are still days when I think of her and cry, but then I remember how much love and happiness that she brought us.

 

[chisnpeke]

Oh God, I'm so sorry. What a shock. She was a beautiful dog.

I don't think you ever "get over" losing a loved one, whether they be human or pet. You just try your best to get on with your life.

I can't imagine the shock of losing a dog to going in for something like a teeth cleaning. This truly breaks my heart.

I have only lost a dog shockingly once, he was hit by a car. I was only ten at the time. I hurt for a while but being a child I think it was somewhat easier to move on.

I will tell you it is not abnormal to grieve for your dog and feel empty even eight months later. She was obviously a very special girl.

I hope you eventually are able to find peace and you and your sweet pups are in my prayers. I'm so very very sorry.

 

[walden]

What a lovely girl. I'm so sorry. Such a sudden loss must have been terrible. I also have greys and am involved in greyhound adoption. Keena looks very like my own shy *hard to adopt* girl with the patch over one eye and cute ears.

As to how to get over the loss, I don't think that still grieving after 8 months is abnormal either. I lost my first grey (and wonderful outgoing Therapy Dog) Catwalk to hemagiosarcoma aged only 7. I was really distraught at the loss and still tear up occasionally, but not so often after the first year. My other two, my shy girl and the mellow 10 year old *foster* senior boy who decided to stay forever really helped heal my heart. I focused on loving them although their personalities are very different. They are 7 and 12 now and I don't know what I'd do without them.

Greyhounds are wonderful dogs. I'm so glad you adopted another. You may never love her in the same way as you loved Keena, but you may end up loving her just as much -- if that makes sense.

 

[java]

I don't know. I lost my Harry gosh 2 years ago now. I still cry when I think about him. He was an English Bulldog and the sweetest dog in the world. A love and we were blessed to have him for 14 years. - long for a bulldog. So I try to think that. But then I remember his big head bumping me when he wanted to play and I tear up. I miss him terribly and am an idiot if I see a bulldog on the street.

We have 2 other dogs now and I love them but they don't replace Harry. I think I'll miss him for the rest of my life.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

One of my dogs died under anesthesia also. He was fairly young, around 7yo. I was only 17 at the time, and probably made the wrong choice in going forward with that surgery, but I went by what I was told and made the best decision I was capable of at the time. Later, I was heartbroken, and felt horribly guilty as well.

I don't know that I ever really completely got over it. I just grew from it. I learned more about dogs, as much as I could, in fact. And then I gave my love to many animals after him, you might say, in some ways because of him. I'm really hoping the Rainbow Bridge thing turns out to be true, because I'm looking forward to seeing him again someday. In my heart I know he knows I had his best interest at heart and chose this surgery because I thought at the time it was the right thing to do. I believe he holds no ill will about it. Dogs are like that. I carry him in my heart to this day, as I do all the dogs I've lost. It gives me comfort to know they're there.

HTH

PS The dogs are beautiful and look very happy with you. Keep up the good work you are doing.

 

[MIGrandma]

Oh, I'm so sorry.

For me, my beloved cat had to be put down due to an inoperable tumor in her spine. I grieved for her, of course. But a couple of months later I did adopt another cat. I was not really "ready" for it, but she immediately found her place in my heart, and I discovered that you don't replace a beloved pet, your heart just expands to let another one in to find their own special corner.

Your situation is different, because you are feeling guilt over taking her to the vet for a teeth cleaning. You did nothing wrong. You were trying to take care of your pet, and you were doing a good thing for her. You had no way of knowing she wouldn't wake up from the anesthesia. You need to let that guilt go. Throw it right out the window. Then you will be able to start enjoying your new dog more. You will never forget Keena, and she will always have a special place in your heart but I think it will be better for you once you let go of that guilt that you really shouldn't have taken on in the first place.

 

[nickey]

Im crying for you as I read your post. Im in your same boat. Glad to see you got anther one you are such a wonderful dog owner another dog deserves the life your dog had. I think you miss your dog but I think the guilt is what you are suffering more from. My pom was 5 and collapsed on night $4000 later had to put her to sleep and my 14 yr old had to be put down 2 months later on my birthday. My 5yr jipsey we rescued from drug house ended up on my door step beaten puppy starving to death never got over her fears terribly needy. Our life revolved around her. Miss them both got new pom nickey 1 week later she cried to sleep with us and spent the night licking me and hubby tears till we fell asleep. I hope you enjoy your new dog too but it will never be the same as other dog. Make new memories with her she deserves you.

 

[pigletgirl]

Aww, I'm sorry.

The last dog that died was when I was in the 7th grade. I cried for like a day. Actually our other dog grieved the longest and that is what made is more sad for myself, seeing her sad.

Make a little memory book or figurine and keep it in a special place. However, if its consuming your life, it would be best to see someone about it.

 

[Robinrs]

Oh God, I'm so sorry. What a shock. She was a beautiful dog.

I don't think you ever "get over" losing a loved one, whether they be human or pet. You just try your best to get on with your life.

Wise words from someone so young. Thank you chisnpeke..

I so agree with this. You never forget them, animals love us so unconditionally it's hard to give that feeling up!!

I lost my one and only dog more than 30 years ago. I STILL cry for him. I got him when I was 8 and he died when I was in college. He was like my little brother, the one I never had. Even my nieces and nephews remember him, he was so unique and adorable.

Since then I've had cats only, one day I will get enough nerve to get another dog. They get too close to your heart..

Hugs to you, honey. There is no time limit on missing someone you love.

 

[LuvOrlando]

So sorry for your loss. I still cry over missing my beloved dog/ best friend Poly. He's been gone since December 2006. I think the only thing that helps is time because the ache is softer now, still there but not as sharp.

 

[james'mommy]

I lost my big ole bubba in 2006. I still haven't really gotten over it. Elmer was my first baby and what made DH and I a family. He was old, 10.5. One night he just got sick and I took him to the vet thinking it was nothing. Turned out his heart was only pumping at 10%. He lasted almost a month. One of the most important things for me was to find a unique vessel to hold his remains. There was no way I wasn't taking him home with me. I looked all over the internet and everything was plain or cheesy looking. I found a place called alex in welderland. She is a fantastic artist. What I ended up with is a round steel ball about 8 inches high. It has a dogs fance and ears welded on to it. It has his name on the back. And has 3 round feet. There was also an option to add a hook for a tag but he didn't wear a collar. So now he sits on my mantle next to a picture of him and his sister. That wasn't enough so both DH and I got tattoos of his pawprint. It's huge. He was 125 pound rottie. Mine also has the chinese symbol for love underneath it. Someday soon his sister will join him at the rainbow bridge. So she'll be on my mantle too in the same type of urn. And I'll probably have another tattoo.

I am so sorry for your loss. It takes a while for the pain to go away. It never does but eventually the good memories outweigh the pain.

 

[lucas]

Our 16 1/2 year old dog passed away a year ago on 3/18/09. I cry for her every day. Dh and I don't have kids, she was our baby and my best friend. I have been dreading the 1 year anniversary of losing her. We didn't get another dog, she can't be replaced and I don't want another. I miss her so much.

 

[seven dwarfs]

I would like to start with I am so sorry for your loss.

It sounds like this is not a typical loss of a pet. (not that a loss is ever easy) But had Keena been older and had past from her age, I think maybe you would have more peace. The fact she was so young and went to the vet for a normal procedure and past on, I believe is making it much harder for you to accept. I think you will have to come to a peace in your heart to know she had a wonderful life with you. It sounds like with her nature and not bonding with her last owner, that you were a perfect match for her and she was blessed with her time she had with you! You also have to let go of any guilt you may have because certainly you had no clue the outcome would have been this. I do not believe you never "get over" the loss of a family member being human or animal. It will be you finding a new normal which takes time.

Maybe you could plant a memory tree. Just a small reminder, a place you could reflect, remember, laugh and cry.

My heart breaks for you.

 

[luvwinnie]

Well, when I saw your topic I thought "I will tell her how adopting an animal who needs her might help her heart heal"...but you already know that and have done that. When we lost our precious Winnie, our 9.5 yr old bulldog to pancreatitis, DH was ready before I was to bring another dog into our lives We adopted Hooch 2 months later and I am so glad we did. Loving him is a way of honoring her memory. She made us fall in love with bulldogs.

But Keena's passing was just not the normal way you expect a beloved pet to go, if that is possible It was just supposed to be a cleaning....this was a truly traumatic and shocking passing. Have you tried to find a pet loss group? I really think that could help. Sometimes animal hospitals offer them. I pray you can find some peace.

 

[iwrbnd]

I'm so sorry for your loss, too! I've owned 4 dogs in my lifetime and have loved them all but only one was that special one. The one you know you'll never get again. I had a Golden Retriever that I was so attached to that I would say "This relationship isn't normal and probably not even healthy!" He died at 3 years of age to an allergic reaction to an antibiotic. It was unexpected and an awful way to die. The day before he got sick I said to my husband "What will you do when he dies of old age?" My husband said "I don't know, I just hope they clone dogs by then!" Little did we know he would be gone from me that week! His death was the hardest thing I've ever gone through! (And I've been through a lot) I mourned so hard that my body physically ached for days like I had been in a car wreck. Food tasted like cardboard for weeks. I was mad at God because I thought "You don't even know me because if you did you wouldn't have taken him! I needed him!" I used to call him "prozac" because my life was so hard at that time (2 children on autism spectrum/very difficult teenager) and that dog would make me feel so much better! I could almost feel the seratonin flood in my body when I was with him! There was something special about that dog! I had another Golden (still have that one) and she has always been a typical dog to me. I love her but it's not the same.

I tell you that long story because I took comfort knowing others understood. I used to watch people's youtube videos of their dogs that have passed. It helped me. I made one, too. It's called "Tribute to the best Golden Retriever ever" You should be able to click on that and it will take you to it. It took me a year before I could make that video and as I did tears streamed down my face! I still tear up when I think of him.

What helped me the most? Mostly time, prayer and lots of crying! We eventually got his half-brother and knowing I have part of him helped a lot! That was quite a story, too! My beloved dog was given to us by a family that didn't want him anymoreso I had to hunt down the breeder and I was crying so hard on the phone she could barely understand me! She wasn't breeding anymore but gave me a puppy that had just been returned. He's wonderful in so many ways. I see my sweet former dog in his eyes and he's brought a lot of healing in my life.

I'm sending youand prayers. Know you're not alone! When my dog passed somebody said "All dogs deserve to be cried over when they die." I took comfort in that knowing my dog definately got that! And yours did too!!!

 

[simba928]

I am so sorry about Keena. There's always that one that is just special and grabs your heart (of course they're all special, but there's alwasy "the one"). I know what you are going through. I lost my "one" in November of 2008. I got Sassy as a tiny kitten when I was 4 and she was my best friend until the day she died when she was 14. There will never be another cat like Sassy. I went months and could not get over her. I finally found an amazing website with a chat room for pet loss. Talking to people who knew that a cat is not "just a cat" or a dog is worth crying over did wonders for me. I still stop in to the chat every once in a while just to say hi to the people that have become friends over the past year and talk to newcomers. I have since gotten another cat (though I swore I never would after Sassy died) and while I love her and she is such a sweetheart, she will never replace Sassy. Sassy will always have that hold on my heart, just like Keena did and always will on yours. Keena was very lucky to have you, just as I'm sure you will agree, you were lucky to have her. We are the lucky ones that have the opportunity to be loved by animals and I truly feel sorry for those that never do.

 

[Redpepperflakes14]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my first little baby over eight years ago. You never fully get over the loss, but as you go forward in life, the good memories eventually start to outweigh the sadness. I like to think that my dog lived to make me happy (and I her!) so she wouldn't want me to be sad now that she's no longer here.

 

[NikkiLovesWDW!]

I lost my cat of 9 years in September and the last time I cried about him was....oh...this morning! I'm still so sad about it. I think I'm as sad about it now as a normal pet owner would be when it first happened. I was a mess for a good month. He was my child and the closest thing to me I ever lost in my adult life.

So I have no advice, just empathy. I know what you're going through.


(BTW, my college mascot was a greyhound.)

 

[chisnpeke]

I am so sorry about Keena. There's always that one that is just special and grabs your heart (of course they're all special, but there's alwasy "the one"). I know what you are going through. I lost my "one" in November of 2008. I got Sassy as a tiny kitten when I was 4 and she was my best friend until the day she died when she was 14. There will never be another cat like Sassy. I went months and could not get over her. I finally found an amazing website with a chat room for pet loss. Talking to people who knew that a cat is not "just a cat" or a dog is worth crying over did wonders for me. I still stop in to the chat every once in a while just to say hi to the people that have become friends over the past year and talk to newcomers. I have since gotten another cat (though I swore I never would after Sassy died) and while I love her and she is such a sweetheart, she will never replace Sassy. Sassy will always have that hold on my heart, just like Keena did and always will on yours. Keena was very lucky to have you, just as I'm sure you will agree, you were lucky to have her. We are the lucky ones that have the opportunity to be loved by animals and I truly feel sorry for those that never do.

That last statement is so true.


iwrbnd, your video made me cry.

Animals are so special. I wish they could live as long as us.