I hate talking on the phone. I hate gabbing. The phone is a tool, "Hey I'm running to the store, need anything?" "Hey, I'm going to stop over..."
My mother is the only one who calls me. She's one that once on the phone you can't get rid of her. At 8 pm she tells me, "Well, my shows are starting so I'll let you go... Did I tell you about..."someone I don't know, will never know, and don't care about. With the first "I'm going to let you go..." I know I have another hour or longer of trying to get off the phone with her short of just hanging up on her.
The last thing I want to do with my limited few hours in the evening is to sit with a phone held to my face listening to the same stories of the same people that I don't know.
I'm pretty sure we were separated at birth. lol This was my mother to a T! I knew that I had 3 avoided phone calls before my mom got ticked off. My voicemails went like this...
1) *happy overly dramatized country accent: "Hey Dane, it's yer Ma, call me back!"
2) *annoyed flat voice, less accent and more serious: "Hey Dane, it's mom, call me when you get this."
3) voice that was used when I was in trouble, zero southern accent, all business: "Well, I guess you've fallen off the planet and aren't going to call me back. I'll talk to you later. Bye."
at that point I knew I had to suck it up and call and that I was in for a 2 hour conversation that started with, "Let me tell you this cute joke I heard" and many false endings, most of which began with, "Oh, let me tell you what Debbie Howell did."
Let me just tell you this, I don't care what Debbie Howell, my mom's nutty friend from high school did!
On a side note, Debbie Howell tried to get us to postpone my mother's funeral until she could find a ride from Florida to get there. Now EVERYONE knows what Debbie Howell did.
(That one was for you Mom!)
